@HeavyEntertainmentShow
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Keeping it private?
How to Keep Your Relationship Private in Family Settings
Deciding whether to share your relationship openly or keep it discreet depends on your comfort and safety. Consider the environment and potential reactions from family and friends. Maintaining privacy during family events can help avoid conflicts, while choosing the right moment to be open may foster acceptance. Prioritize your well-being and communication with your partner when making this decision.
I would find out what my partner and bday boy wants and bow to his wishes. Being its his day and all.
Why can't you do light middle ground and sit next to each other and dance with each other or hold hands.
And why isn't it conventional, what's going on here that you two need to hide—?
Sorry!!! My mind was still on the teenage love affair! 😆
Posted by LadyNeptune
I would find out what my partner and bday boy wants and bow to his wishes. Being its his day and all.
+10000 don't embarrass the birthday person!!!
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Ladies & gents, picture yourselves in this.The birthday of the person you love is coming up, but your relationship is not exactly "conventional". Friends and family in attendance are mostly Christian, a number of them conservative, and not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends.
Not attending is NOT an option. So you're presented with a dilemma: Either
- go down the selfish
road and go full-on PDA during the party, reasoning along the lines of "they'll have to find out sooner or later so they might as well just get with the program".
OR
- be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two.
PS: your love is mum on the subject, possibly trying to avoid offending you or is simply undecided.
What would you do?
I think I would follow my loves lead... Anything other than a yes is a no... Sneaking around add sexual tension to... 😈
Does your love eventually plan on telling his family and friends about you..?
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.
He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
Posted by saggurl88
Why can't you do light middle ground and sit next to each other and dance with each other or hold hands.And why isn't it conventional, what's going on here that you two need to hide—?
Because only my boy's mom knows that we're intimate, and his entire family are Christian. And I want him to decide when to tell his siblings about us. Spontaneously outing himself to his mom is one thing, his entire family & friends bunch is another matter.
But he's being a little coy on the matter. I'm gonna bring it up again during our run in 5 minutes or so, and this time I'm not taking evasion as an answer.
And..........oh god no!! He's gonna be 25, I'm 32. There's no weird shit involved.......no more than usual anyway
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by saggurl88
Why can't you do light middle ground and sit next to each other and dance with each other or hold hands.And why isn't it conventional, what's going on here that you two need to hide—?
Because only my boy's mom knows that we're intimate, and his entire family are Christian. And I want him to decide when to tell his siblings about us. Spontaneously outing himself to his mom is one thing, his entire family & friends bunch is another matter.
But he's being a little coy on the matter. I'm gonna bring it up again during our run in 5 minutes or so, and this time I'm not taking evasion as an answer.
click to expand
You shouldn't force him on his birthday!! Wait till Thanksgiving or Christmas!! You'll have plenty of opportunities!!! 😆
You should do it in an intimate setting with his siblings by grabbing his ass and saying OMG! Your brother is so cute!! LMAO
Posted by LePetitFisk
If he's not "out," your IDAF option will ruffle feathers and questions will arise and consequently put tension between him and his family... which may possibly bleed into your relationship. Go, be respectful, and follow his lead.
I recently semi-joked/semi-serious told him that I want to declare my love to him in front of everyone on his birthday this year. Just declare, not say anything about us being more than friends. He was fine with it. But he may have forgotten about it. Just talking about it and actually doing it, especially on your big day, are two veeeery different things.
Yeah it's 2017 but there's still plenty of bigots around. He might even be related to some.
You're obviously not happy with the current situation... ...talk about it with him in private after the party...
...if things don't change then you have to decide if it's a deal breaker for you.
OR
don't stay for the whole party... ...you are just friends right? in other people's eyes ....as in you don't have to stay late...
...he shouldn't expect you to...
...I'm just saying you don't have to be the last to leave...
...tell him you won't be staying as late as his family because you are just a friend in their eyes... ...I don't think this is passive aggressive... ...but it could prompt a discussion... ...he should view this as a reasonable course of action... ...if he agrees...then go and do something with someone else... ...seriously.... ...go grab a drink with a girlfriend...
...let him be alone with his family without you... ...because that is what it will be like if you ever break up with him over this..
...if he says he wants you stay until the end...you could mention that you're not comfortable being hidden and lying any longer... ...but that you're willing to discuss this after the party further... ...and that you love/care for him and will be there for him for his party...
...but the reality is... ...if you're just his friend in everyone else's eyes... ...friends aren't necessarily the last people to leave... ...just saying..
...be thoughtful and caring...mature... ...but this can be a good time to bring things up where you don't argue but table a discussion for later...
......the hiding thing can only go on for so long and then it starts to turn into taking the piss
The downside of dating a younger person, they haven't learned to not give a toss
Annoying
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
im grossed out, thank god he's not my sibling, when did you first started sucking dick? Well I was Butt Raped by this stalker pisces homosexual who pretended to be my friend but played with my booty and i liked it and now here we are.——?
the day i watch two men making out and i don't want to puke is the day i am completely okay with homosexuality, that day has not cometh
click to expand
How's your stomach feeling? ?
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LePetitFisk
If he's not "out," your IDAF option will ruffle feathers and questions will arise and consequently put tension between him and his family... which may possibly bleed into your relationship. Go, be respectful, and follow his lead.I recently semi-joked/semi-serious told him that I want to declare my love to him in front of everyone on his birthday this year. Just declare, not say anything about us being more than friends. He was fine with it. But he may have forgotten about it. Just talking about it and actually doing it, especially on your big day, are two veeeery different things.
Yeah it's 2017 but there's still plenty of bigots around. He might even be related to some.
I agree.
Plus, this is is a nice comfotable pace that you two seem to be currently moving in, and does not seem to be too much of a cause for concern for now. And I can imagine this might be a tricky situation for him since never had to deal with something like this before. I can't imagine feeling secure being in a relationship where I feel my partner is hiding me and have to restrict my affections because of it. But you seem to grasp the importance of communicating your concerns with him which is a step in the right direction.
click to expand
Right now I'm bouncing between yawning like a sloth and grinning like a Cheshire cat lol. It's a little hard on the cheeks. Barely got 2 hours of sleep last night because he had another one of those restless nights.
It's not something to be concerned about because if you keep pushing someone to conform to YOUR rules before they're ready, you're just pushing them out the door. One of the reasons I've managed to hold onto him this long is because I don't push him to do anything. I don't hold anything over him and he knows he's free to leave anytime. But he chooses to stay anyway.
He only had evening class today so we had plenty of time to cover this. I got the distinct feeling he was testing me because he had that impish twinkle in his eyes. When he's genuinely not ready to talk about something stressful, he avoids direct eye contact. This time he kept glancing at me from the corner of his eyes with a faint smirk and was very laconic with his responses, which he knows pisses me off.
I was like
but then I was like "fine, I'll bite, I'll do the talking". I explained I'm not really the thunder-stealing kinda guy, I don't need to make things all about myself. If I was that kinda guy, I'd have whipped him into shape years ago when we first met, and it would've ended in a disaster and we wouldn't have "this". He felt ready to tell his mom about us and he did it all on his own. We have a very nice thing going on, we're both within our comfort zone and there's no need to make it complicated and potentially ruin it by rushing it.
I recommended that we'll have to sneak away a few times during the party but other than that I can play the platonic beta male for the night. His face stayed frozen with that slight smirk, but in the end he softened up like:
and lightly smacked me in the face as his smirk turned into a smile. And that's when I killed the mood by adopting an extreme ratchet tone and threw in my infamous adlib
"awww hell no, I was just banking for a quickie in the toilets, but you totally missed my cue, sailor"
He screamed with laughter and spilled his drink on the floor and everyone was staring at us at Subway. He took the mop from one of the girls and he cleaned it up himself while I was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
Before we left, we went to grab more drinks and as we went to the counter, he kissed me in front of the other customers in the queue and hugged me around the waist, resting his head on my shoulder. The girl behind the counter kept staring at us lol.
I've gone easy with everything so far, it would be silly to turn up the voltage without warning, especially on his birthday. And especially after the disaster of last year. I'm still ashamed that I was in no mental shape to even text him a happy birthday, let alone do it in person. I want to make up for that and I want this year to be a complete 180.
Thank you, everyone, for the replies & participating. One or two people might assume that I knew the answer all along, but I was split right down the middle. Like maybe it's time for me to ask him to go along with what I want and be selfish, instead of being considerate towards him like I always am. But then it occured to me that honey is sweeter than vinegar.
For me the bigger picture is more important than the little things. Bigger picture is: I got the man of my dreams in my arms and he doesn't seem to want to be anywhere else. Little things like him having to cut our day or evening short because his mother needs him for a few hours, or being unable to slap his ass in front of everyone aren't that damn important. What do I care about everyone else? I have who I want and that's more than enough for me. Trying to fast forward things out of selfishness never ends well.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
im grossed out, thank god he's not my sibling, when did you first started sucking dick? Well I was Butt Raped by this stalker pisces homosexual who pretended to be my friend but played with my booty and i liked it and now here we are.——?
the day i watch two men making out and i don't want to puke is the day i am completely okay with homosexuality, that day has not cometh
click to expand
At least we both get some, unlike you. Go play with your wimpy Leo and his texts, that'll keep you warm at night lol....and your fully charged vibrator. Don't tell me you actually masturbate while reading his texts
Besides, when both guys are hot, they can make even taking a shit look sexy. For you, on the other hand, Ands seems to be the only viable option for you. Don't see anyone else knocking on your door.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
im grossed out, thank god he's not my sibling, when did you first started sucking dick? Well I was Butt Raped by this stalker pisces homosexual who pretended to be my friend but played with my booty and i liked it and now here we are.——?
the day i watch two men making out and i don't want to puke is the day i am completely okay with homosexuality, that day has not cometh
Why does it even concern you? Especially to the extent that you have to use fake science to explain homosexuality. You're making it a much bigger deal than it is.
click to expand
Because she's not getting any and resents those who do 🙂
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Ladies & gents, picture yourselves in this.The birthday of the person you love is coming up, but your relationship is not exactly "conventional". Friends and family in attendance are mostly Christian, a number of them conservative, and not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends.
Not attending is NOT an option. So you're presented with a dilemma: Either
- go down the selfish
OR
- be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two.
PS: your love is mum on the subject, possibly trying to avoid offending you or is simply undecided.
What would you do?
I think I would follow my loves lead... Anything other than a yes is a no... Sneaking around add sexual tension to... 😈
Does your love eventually plan on telling his family and friends about you..?
click to expand
He told his mom out of nowhere last month in my presence, caught me completely by surprise. She knew I was in love with him but she didn't know the rest of it. Now she does.
As for the rest of the family (big family), I have a stinking suspicion he's told his Gemini brother with whom he's usually joined at the hip (except when he's with me) because the little shit keeps making certain *jokes* like he's trying to get his point across via crude humor.
But we haven't discussed it at length. We're just enjoying how things are at this stage.
Posted by LadyNeptune
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
How did that one work out? And what kind of gossip were you concerned about?
Posted by Piscis_Hominis
You're obviously not happy with the current situation... ...talk about it with him in private after the party......if things don't change then you have to decide if it's a deal breaker for you.
OR
don't stay for the whole party... ...you are just friends right? in other people's eyes ....as in you don't have to stay late...
...he shouldn't expect you to...
...I'm just saying you don't have to be the last to leave...
...tell him you won't be staying as late as his family because you are just a friend in their eyes... ...I don't think this is passive aggressive... ...but it could prompt a discussion... ...he should view this as a reasonable course of action... ...if he agrees...then go and do something with someone else... ...seriously.... ...go grab a drink with a girlfriend...
...let him be alone with his family without you... ...because that is what it will be like if you ever break up with him over this..
...if he says he wants you stay until the end...you could mention that you're not comfortable being hidden and lying any longer... ...but that you're willing to discuss this after the party further... ...and that you love/care for him and will be there for him for his party...
...but the reality is... ...if you're just his friend in everyone else's eyes... ...friends aren't necessarily the last people to leave... ...just saying..
...be thoughtful and caring...mature... ...but this can be a good time to bring things up where you don't argue but table a discussion for later...
Oh heh we've never argued, that's not the problem. And I'm not "not happy" about the current situation, I just like to sort things out ahead of time to avoid any last-minute surprises. My Virgo moon makes me stress about things like that because I don't want to cause any problems on his big day.
And we've already covered my exit strategy days ago. That day he'll be staying home, and I'll be leaving shortly after 11 because we're going away for 2 days the next day. His birthday present from me is a place, not an object. We have to drive there and he's under strict order to not make any plans for the next 48 hours post-birthday. Interruptions are non-negotiable. Even if his mom is calling, he will not be allowed to leave until those 48 hours have elapsed and he's experienced everything I have in store for him. He can talk to her on the phone, but if she needs him to come back early, it will not happen.
He laughed like crazy when I adopted a militant tone ala
but he understood that I wasn't kidding. For those 48 hours, he belongs to me.
Posted by MyStarsShine
......the hiding thing can only go on for so long and then it starts to turn into taking the pissThe downside of dating a younger person, they haven't learned to not give a toss
Annoying
He's my third relationship with a man, I'm his first. I have to make concessions to compensate for his inexperience.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Ladies & gents, picture yourselves in this.The birthday of the person you love is coming up, but your relationship is not exactly "conventional". Friends and family in attendance are mostly Christian, a number of them conservative, and not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends.
Not attending is NOT an option. So you're presented with a dilemma: Either
- go down the selfish
OR
- be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two.
What would you do?
PS1: your love is mum on the subject, possibly trying to avoid offending you or is simply undecided.
PS2: it does not have to hypothetically deal with two guys. It can also be two people from different cultural backgrounds and dealing with a racist family, or one person is wealthy and the other is less fortunate - which would make the snobby friends & family frown upon the couple.
My answer totally depends on this being a real or hypothetical situation. I'm going with hypothetical in this answer though...
I'm going to say:
" - be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two."
On the grounds of:
If they chose to make their bed from '... not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends. ' then that is the bed they should lay in until such a time comes they find the courage to change their linens.
click to expand
Unless they soil the linens beforehand.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LadyNeptune
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
How did that one work out? And what kind of gossip were you concerned about?
click to expand
I had worked there for over 10 years. Taught most of the kids in that community how to swim and on a first name basis with the parents.
It's not so much that I was concerned about gossip per se...I'm just a private person around people irl. If we hadn't worked out I would've had to talk about WHY anytime I ran into someone who lives in that community which would be annoying.
And I always feel that if your talking a lot about a new relationship it's gonna jinx it.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by MyStarsShine
......the hiding thing can only go on for so long and then it starts to turn into taking the pissThe downside of dating a younger person, they haven't learned to not give a toss
Annoying
He's my third relationship with a man, I'm his first. I have to make concessions to compensate for his inexperience.
click to expand
Yes you do and also to let him go when the time is right to live his life....being someone's first is diffcult because they do need to fly at some point, just try and prepare yourself . I never found that easy, but life and wisdom shows us the way,....
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LadyNeptune
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
How did that one work out? And what kind of gossip were you concerned about?
I had worked there for over 10 years. Taught most of the kids in that community how to swim and on a first name basis with the parents.
It's not so much that I was concerned about gossip per se...I'm just a private person around people irl. If we hadn't worked out I would've had to talk about WHY anytime I ran into someone who lives in that community which would be annoying.
And I always feel that if your talking a lot about a new relationship it's gonna jinx it.
click to expand
Especially if your partner is also the private kind that doesn't like his business being broadcaster all over town. But it's tricky. You have to be positive that he really is respecting your wishes and isn't secretly resenting you for it. Like "is she THAT embarrassed to be seen in public with me—".
With Jed it's difficult to tell because he's bounces back n forth between the two. This wasn't the first time he's kissed me in public, and he's also done it in front of several classmates of his. But it's like he's comfortable doing it only in front of people that don't know his family. So obviously it's a bit of a sensitive spot for him.
I don't mind either way. Outside of here, I don't really say anything about him in the romantic sense. Now I do it here more because it's amusing seeing the spinsters get their smelly knickers in a twist, like the fruitloop on page 2 lol. But we can't hide forever, sooner or later one of us will slip up. So it's better to do the reveal ourselves when we're good and ready so that we have a better handle on their reactions.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by MyStarsShine
......the hiding thing can only go on for so long and then it starts to turn into taking the pissThe downside of dating a younger person, they haven't learned to not give a toss
Annoying
He's my third relationship with a man, I'm his first. I have to make concessions to compensate for his inexperience.
Yes you do and also to let him go when the time is right to live his life....being someone's first is diffcult because they do need to fly at some point, just try and prepare yourself . I never found that easy, but life and wisdom shows us the way,....
click to expand
.......maybe I don't intend to let him fly away. Nothing says your first can't be your last.
Posted by tiziani
Depends how important PDA is to you, but to me the less people that know about my relationship = the less interference (even well-meaning interference). I'm neutral to PDA so in that scenario there's nothing in it for me in option 1. And option 2 I'd take but not for other people's sensitivities, just to be sensitive towards the harmony in my own relationship.Family or no family, everyone has to get with the program you both set eventually.
PDA-wise I'm not really a show-off. I do get annoyed when people are full-on making out in public. My Scorp sister and her Scorp boyfriend would do that all the time. We'd be at a birthday party, everyone would be celebrating in the yard but those two would be inside making out on the couch.
I mean I was like "what the hell are you trying to prove exactly?". He dumped her sooner or later like everyone else does when they find out what a psycho she is lol. Anyway getting off track. I like a middle ground.
Jed is a beautiful man and he receives his fair share of attention from the opposite sex. I like to indicate that he's taken, with a little cuddle or a parting kiss while I leave him to socialize with friends we don't share. But I'm not into full-on displays.
I get along great with his siblings, especially his sisters. They know I'm gay, but it's one thing knowing I'm gay and quite a different thing that I'm banging their youngest brother.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by tiziani
Depends how important PDA is to you, but to me the less people that know about my relationship = the less interference (even well-meaning interference). I'm neutral to PDA so in that scenario there's nothing in it for me in option 1. And option 2 I'd take but not for other people's sensitivities, just to be sensitive towards the harmony in my own relationship.Family or no family, everyone has to get with the program you both set eventually.
PDA-wise I'm not really a show-off. I do get annoyed when people are full-on making out in public. My Scorp sister and her Scorp boyfriend would do that all the time. We'd be at a birthday party, everyone would be celebrating in the yard but those two would be inside making out on the couch.
I mean I was like "what the hell are you trying to prove exactly?". He dumped her sooner or later like everyone else does when they find out what a psycho she is lol. Anyway getting off track. I like a middle ground.
Jed is a beautiful man and he receives his fair share of attention from the opposite sex. I like to indicate that he's taken, with a little cuddle or a parting kiss while I leave him to socialize with friends we don't share. But I'm not into full-on displays.
I get along great with his siblings, especially his sisters. They know I'm gay, but it's one thing knowing I'm gay and quite a different thing that I'm banging their youngest brother.
click to expand
People are more intuitive than we give them credit for. You'd be surprise.
Watch you guys are gonna both come out to them and they'll be all 'duh, we know, we've always known'.
—
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LadyNeptune
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
How did that one work out? And what kind of gossip were you concerned about?
I had worked there for over 10 years. Taught most of the kids in that community how to swim and on a first name basis with the parents.
It's not so much that I was concerned about gossip per se...I'm just a private person around people irl. If we hadn't worked out I would've had to talk about WHY anytime I ran into someone who lives in that community which would be annoying.
And I always feel that if your talking a lot about a new relationship it's gonna jinx it.
Especially if your partner is also the private kind that doesn't like his business being broadcaster all over town. But it's tricky. You have to be positive that he really is respecting your wishes and isn't secretly resenting you for it. Like "is she THAT embarrassed to be seen in public with me—".
With Jed it's difficult to tell because he's bounces back n forth between the two. This wasn't the first time he's kissed me in public, and he's also done it in front of several classmates of his. But it's like he's comfortable doing it only in front of people that don't know his family. So obviously it's a bit of a sensitive spot for him.
I don't mind either way. Outside of here, I don't really say anything about him in the romantic sense. Now I do it here more because it's amusing seeing the spinsters get their smelly knickers in a twist, like the fruitloop on page 2 lol. But we can't hide forever, sooner or later one of us will slip up. So it's better to do the reveal ourselves when we're good and ready so that we have a better handle on their reactions.
click to expand
He's private about his life which I so appreciate. No social media, not even a Facebook. His idea of a good time is going camping/off-roading with his friends.
And it was really just for the first year, cause I didn't want to jinx the relationship. After that we 'came out' to his friends at the clubhouse. One of which is my old managers son ?
It's a bit of a different situation than what you have going on. Don't rock the boat on his birthday but keep the dialogue open about coming out to his siblings. If he sees a future with you then they gotta know.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LadyNeptune
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
How did that one work out? And what kind of gossip were you concerned about?
I had worked there for over 10 years. Taught most of the kids in that community how to swim and on a first name basis with the parents.
It's not so much that I was concerned about gossip per se...I'm just a private person around people irl. If we hadn't worked out I would've had to talk about WHY anytime I ran into someone who lives in that community which would be annoying.
And I always feel that if your talking a lot about a new relationship it's gonna jinx it.
Especially if your partner is also the private kind that doesn't like his business being broadcaster all over town. But it's tricky. You have to be positive that he really is respecting your wishes and isn't secretly resenting you for it. Like "is she THAT embarrassed to be seen in public with me—".
With Jed it's difficult to tell because he's bounces back n forth between the two. This wasn't the first time he's kissed me in public, and he's also done it in front of several classmates of his. But it's like he's comfortable doing it only in front of people that don't know his family. So obviously it's a bit of a sensitive spot for him.
I don't mind either way. Outside of here, I don't really say anything about him in the romantic sense. Now I do it here more because it's amusing seeing the spinsters get their smelly knickers in a twist, like the fruitloop on page 2 lol. But we can't hide forever, sooner or later one of us will slip up. So it's better to do the reveal ourselves when we're good and ready so that we have a better handle on their reactions.
He's private about his life which I so appreciate. No social media, not even a Facebook. His idea of a good time is going camping/off-roading with his friends.
And it was really just for the first year, cause I didn't want to jinx the relationship. After that we 'came out' to his friends at the clubhouse. One of which is my old managers son ?
It's a bit of a different situation than what you have going on. Don't rock the boat on his birthday but keep the dialogue open about coming out to his siblings. If he sees a future with you then they gotta know.
click to expand
Are you still together?........came out, as if you're both lesbians lol.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by MyStarsShine
......the hiding thing can only go on for so long and then it starts to turn into taking the pissThe downside of dating a younger person, they haven't learned to not give a toss
Annoying
He's my third relationship with a man, I'm his first. I have to make concessions to compensate for his inexperience.
Yes you do and also to let him go when the time is right to live his life....being someone's first is diffcult because they do need to fly at some point, just try and prepare yourself . I never found that easy, but life and wisdom shows us the way,....
.......maybe I don't intend to let him fly away. Nothing says your first can't be your last.
click to expand
See how it goes......all you can do is live in the now, but just stay open to whatever may happen and then if it does happen, it won't come as such a shock
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Ladies & gents, picture yourselves in this.The birthday of the person you love is coming up, but your relationship is not exactly "conventional". Friends and family in attendance are mostly Christian, a number of them conservative, and not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends.
Not attending is NOT an option. So you're presented with a dilemma: Either
- go down the selfish
OR
- be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two.
What would you do?
PS1: your love is mum on the subject, possibly trying to avoid offending you or is simply undecided.
PS2: it does not have to hypothetically deal with two guys. It can also be two people from different cultural backgrounds and dealing with a racist family, or one person is wealthy and the other is less fortunate - which would make the snobby friends & family frown upon the couple.
My answer totally depends on this being a real or hypothetical situation. I'm going with hypothetical in this answer though...
I'm going to say:
" - be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two."
On the grounds of:
If they chose to make their bed from '... not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends. ' then that is the bed they should lay in until such a time comes they find the courage to change their linens.
Unless they soil the linens beforehand.
I suppose there are those who enjoy that sort of thing, lol.
click to expand
LOL my bad, it was an obscure reference to the several times he's made me mess the front of my pants, kinda against my will.
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Ladies & gents, picture yourselves in this.The birthday of the person you love is coming up, but your relationship is not exactly "conventional". Friends and family in attendance are mostly Christian, a number of them conservative, and not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends.
Not attending is NOT an option. So you're presented with a dilemma: Either
- go down the selfish
OR
- be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two.
What would you do?
PS1: your love is mum on the subject, possibly trying to avoid offending you or is simply undecided.
PS2: it does not have to hypothetically deal with two guys. It can also be two people from different cultural backgrounds and dealing with a racist family, or one person is wealthy and the other is less fortunate - which would make the snobby friends & family frown upon the couple.
My answer totally depends on this being a real or hypothetical situation. I'm going with hypothetical in this answer though...
I'm going to say:
" - be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two."
On the grounds of:
If they chose to make their bed from '... not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends. ' then that is the bed they should lay in until such a time comes they find the courage to change their linens.
Unless they soil the linens beforehand.
I suppose there are those who enjoy that sort of thing, lol.
LOL my bad, it was an obscure reference to the several times he's made me mess the front of my pants, kinda against my will.
My mind went to golden showers and scat play, so you have nothing to apologize for haha.
click to expand
We're Jed & Jelle, not 2girls1finger
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow
Posted by LadyNeptune
When I first started dating the Gem I asked him to keep it on the down low. Cause he was living at one of the homes at my old workplace (HOA clubhouse/pool) and people are gossipy and what have you. I didn't see the point of telling anyone cause it was early days.He respected my wishes which made me respect him more in turn.
How did that one work out? And what kind of gossip were you concerned about?
I had worked there for over 10 years. Taught most of the kids in that community how to swim and on a first name basis with the parents.
It's not so much that I was concerned about gossip per se...I'm just a private person around people irl. If we hadn't worked out I would've had to talk about WHY anytime I ran into someone who lives in that community which would be annoying.
And I always feel that if your talking a lot about a new relationship it's gonna jinx it.
Especially if your partner is also the private kind that doesn't like his business being broadcaster all over town. But it's tricky. You have to be positive that he really is respecting your wishes and isn't secretly resenting you for it. Like "is she THAT embarrassed to be seen in public with me—".
With Jed it's difficult to tell because he's bounces back n forth between the two. This wasn't the first time he's kissed me in public, and he's also done it in front of several classmates of his. But it's like he's comfortable doing it only in front of people that don't know his family. So obviously it's a bit of a sensitive spot for him.
I don't mind either way. Outside of here, I don't really say anything about him in the romantic sense. Now I do it here more because it's amusing seeing the spinsters get their smelly knickers in a twist, like the fruitloop on page 2 lol. But we can't hide forever, sooner or later one of us will slip up. So it's better to do the reveal ourselves when we're good and ready so that we have a better handle on their reactions.
He's private about his life which I so appreciate. No social media, not even a Facebook. His idea of a good time is going camping/off-roading with his friends.
And it was really just for the first year, cause I didn't want to jinx the relationship. After that we 'came out' to his friends at the clubhouse. One of which is my old managers son ?
It's a bit of a different situation than what you have going on. Don't rock the boat on his birthday but keep the dialogue open about coming out to his siblings. If he sees a future with you then they gotta know.
Are you still together?........came out, as if you're both lesbians lol.
click to expand
Came out as in let people know we're together. lol
Thank for your input, ladies & gents
@m200991
@LePetitFisk
@LibraMudra
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Ladies & gents, picture yourselves in this.
The birthday of the person you love is coming up, but your relationship is not exactly "conventional". Friends and family in attendance are mostly Christian, a number of them conservative, and not even your love's siblings are aware you two are an item, let alone anything other than friends.
Not attending is NOT an option. So you're presented with a dilemma: Either
- go down the selfish
road and go full-on PDA during the party, reasoning along the lines of "they'll have to find out sooner or later so they might as well just get with the program".
OR
- be more sensitive towards everyone else's beliefs and keep it on the down low, and restrict the tender moments in private when you can get away for a minute or two.
What would you do?
PS1: your love is mum on the subject, possibly trying to avoid offending you or is simply undecided.
PS2: it does not have to hypothetically deal with two guys. It can also be two people from different cultural backgrounds and dealing with a racist family, or one person is wealthy and the other is less fortunate - which would make the snobby friends & family frown upon the couple.