Point of No Return (Page 3)

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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by halalbae
the classic princess throwing a temper tantrum cause their partner respects the relationship enough to tell princess what bothers them
It's the timing of when he brought it up, not that he said it. And although he denies it, I could sense that it was coming from a place of frustration that he allowed to build up when he didn't say something about it sooner.
Hmm.. So you see it that he only brings things up when it has reached to the point of emergency?

But wait, do you not understand that, if I may say, particular habit of yours almost always bother him?

You may see his request of spending time apart to be a breaking point.. Or at least, that's what I perceive it to be.

Are you going to break it, then? Or.. Make it?
I'm in an anniahlistic mood right now. Had you asked me that even three hours ago, I would have told you I hope he'd break it. Honestly, talking about him in my response to Monty is calming me, and I almost feel heartache from not saying goodbye to him and for purposefully leaving my bunny behind at his house (the only stuffed animal, besides a stingray, that he bought me.)

I have so much darkness inside me. I've seen this darkness in two significant people in my life, and they both represent who I never want to be. Yet, here I am, already reflecting them. It terrifies me.


Yeah. I know that feeling.

Oh i know it too about darkness within two significant ppl in my life. I always try to not be like them... But guess what? Instead, I seem to embrace them. Sigh....

I haven't read your response to Monty.. Is Monty = Montgomery? On what page is that?

Well I guess you have calmed down and start to see some enlightenment from all of this..

I think you bf is a keeper. It would be a shame for you to waste that blessing, you know..

But stuffed animals though ?

Do you like stuffed animals?

What presents do you like receiving from males?

I mean, I personally would just like gifts from a guy of some good backpacking trips together. The bonding moments will be strong there.

Anyway, my boss once gifted me a package of one of those minions doll and packs of chocolates.

I was like very happy and surprised about that but when I contemplated on his choice of presents, I was like -_______-

But ay, I can be a hard critics to myself and people 😛

So I think your bf is a sweet guy. Cheer up!
Ah, stuffed animals are an inside joke of ours because I explicitly asked him to never buy me one (my saggie brother's Capricorn girlfriend is obsessed and has a MASSIVE COLLECTION.) Clutter gives me hives. 😆

We got the stingray because it's one of my most favorite animals (along with cats, turtles, and otters.) But that was the second stuffed animal after the bunny.

The story behind my bunny is a good one. So, during a trip to a Whole Foods store, he and I decided to browse the hand-craft aisle. While paroozing, I spotted this bunny with floppy ears and stitches for eyes (the glass eyes freak me out.) Something about that warm bunny captivated me and I immediately grabbed him off the shelf and hugged him. He was handmade from organic materials by a family who owned a small business borne from wanting to offer their hyper-sensitive child safe toys. So, no two stuffed animals were alike.

Anyway, my Capricorn watched me incredulously, and his eyes wouldn't stop twinkling. He then gave me the biggest smile and exclaimed: "Before you asked me to never buy you stuffed animals, I contemplated buying you THIS EXACT RABBIT. And that was MONTHS AGO!"

I laughed at that coinkidink, put the rabbit back on the shelf, and went towards produce. He found an abandoned shopping cart and wanted to return it to its rightful place. I later found out that he used that as a way to buy my bunny behind my back and sneak it into our bag.

When I discovered the rabbit, he claimed it jumped into our bag somehow. I have so many positive emotions attached to that rabbit because of the story of how he came to be mine. *^__^*

Traveling is great. Our first date was a hike. We have since been to Portland, Seattle, and New Orleans together. We will hit Europe for sure. We also love live theatre and music events. Honestly, he is so thoughtful in whatever he gets me, that I love anything he gets me when he does, including fresh strawberries. ☺️

That was sweet of your boss, but also an interesting choice of present for an employee.

The Monty post I was referring to is the one where I explained veganism.
Awww!! I like your memories with him so much! It is so beautiful especially about that bunny stuffed animal.

Oh man, that store sounds like awesomeness! His way of poking you is cute ?

I smiled all the way through reading your story.

See, I told you! He's a keeper! Keep him! Lol

Girl, don't makw cry about those memories of your travel together. The farthest I travelled with my longest ex (he's a taurus) to a national garden and national park neighbouring cities. They were memorable to me so much.

Also, with a sag much later on, he asked to go to the same place I shared moments with the taurus. I was like, "let's go to (another place) instead." 😛

And guess what, even it's only within the city (the place is still a huge city park as well) the experience of it still is profound to me. There I saw the sag saving me from almost look like a crisis moment with such brilliant solution!

Omfg! Lemme just tell you the story! Damn.

Anyway, so he was laying down closing his eyes, resting, right. I was sitting and watching the view. Then I got a phonecall from my mum. Asking me my whereabout (yeah I spent 3 days in a row with him) and she started to sense me lying in that phone call. After I hung up the call, I was silent. Thinking how I should act in front of my mum later. The sag calmly woke up. Spoke gently and told me a solution of that. I must say he covered all the sides to make the situation believable. He was my comrade at that time. He faced my parents first and then I followed. But, funny enough he seemed to break it in the middle by doing something in my house. And wow I think he tested me as well. I responded to him, "if you were about to make the lie perfect, why did you do it?!" He didn't answer. But I knew it by then it was like him saying, "Because I don't like lying. I can be very good at it, but it doesn't mean I like it. I only do it for you. And because I'm in this shit together with you."

Memories.... Aren't they beautiful 😭
click to expand

😆

Are you two still together?
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iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol



Profile picture of Montgomery
Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
....

you don't need the exact time for general placements just the date and the year.

...what's his venus , moon , mars and merc?

unless Moon changed sign on that day. then you need time of birth too. only a short reminder.
yeah i know

i'm a moon cusp.

click to expand

What is your Sun and moon?



🙂
Profile picture of Adreamuponwaking
Adreamuponwaking
@Adreamuponwaking
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 2650 · Posts: 6434 · Topics: 214
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
Posted by DwellingOnMove
Posted by Adreamuponwaking
....

you don't need the exact time for general placements just the date and the year.

...what's his venus , moon , mars and merc?

unless Moon changed sign on that day. then you need time of birth too. only a short reminder.
yeah i know

i'm a moon cusp.


What is your Sun and moon?



🙂
click to expand

Pisces Sun.

Libra/Scorpio Moon cusp.

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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
Profile picture of LillyPetal
LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by AneemA08
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by halalbae
the classic princess throwing a temper tantrum cause their partner respects the relationship enough to tell princess what bothers them
It's the timing of when he brought it up, not that he said it. And although he denies it, I could sense that it was coming from a place of frustration that he allowed to build up when he didn't say something about it sooner.
Hmm.. So you see it that he only brings things up when it has reached to the point of emergency?

But wait, do you not understand that, if I may say, particular habit of yours almost always bother him?

You may see his request of spending time apart to be a breaking point.. Or at least, that's what I perceive it to be.

Are you going to break it, then? Or.. Make it?
I'm in an anniahlistic mood right now. Had you asked me that even three hours ago, I would have told you I hope he'd break it. Honestly, talking about him in my response to Monty is calming me, and I almost feel heartache from not saying goodbye to him and for purposefully leaving my bunny behind at his house (the only stuffed animal, besides a stingray, that he bought me.)

I have so much darkness inside me. I've seen this darkness in two significant people in my life, and they both represent who I never want to be. Yet, here I am, already reflecting them. It terrifies me.


Yeah. I know that feeling.

Oh i know it too about darkness within two significant ppl in my life. I always try to not be like them... But guess what? Instead, I seem to embrace them. Sigh....

I haven't read your response to Monty.. Is Monty = Montgomery? On what page is that?

Well I guess you have calmed down and start to see some enlightenment from all of this..

I think you bf is a keeper. It would be a shame for you to waste that blessing, you know..

But stuffed animals though ?

Do you like stuffed animals?

What presents do you like receiving from males?

I mean, I personally would just like gifts from a guy of some good backpacking trips together. The bonding moments will be strong there.

Anyway, my boss once gifted me a package of one of those minions doll and packs of chocolates.

I was like very happy and surprised about that but when I contemplated on his choice of presents, I was like -_______-

But ay, I can be a hard critics to myself and people 😛

So I think your bf is a sweet guy. Cheer up!
Ah, stuffed animals are an inside joke of ours because I explicitly asked him to never buy me one (my saggie brother's Capricorn girlfriend is obsessed and has a MASSIVE COLLECTION.) Clutter gives me hives. 😆

We got the stingray because it's one of my most favorite animals (along with cats, turtles, and otters.) But that was the second stuffed animal after the bunny.

The story behind my bunny is a good one. So, during a trip to a Whole Foods store, he and I decided to browse the hand-craft aisle. While paroozing, I spotted this bunny with floppy ears and stitches for eyes (the glass eyes freak me out.) Something about that warm bunny captivated me and I immediately grabbed him off the shelf and hugged him. He was handmade from organic materials by a family who owned a small business borne from wanting to offer their hyper-sensitive child safe toys. So, no two stuffed animals were alike.

Anyway, my Capricorn watched me incredulously, and his eyes wouldn't stop twinkling. He then gave me the biggest smile and exclaimed: "Before you asked me to never buy you stuffed animals, I contemplated buying you THIS EXACT RABBIT. And that was MONTHS AGO!"

I laughed at that coinkidink, put the rabbit back on the shelf, and went towards produce. He found an abandoned shopping cart and wanted to return it to its rightful place. I later found out that he used that as a way to buy my bunny behind my back and sneak it into our bag.

When I discovered the rabbit, he claimed it jumped into our bag somehow. I have so many positive emotions attached to that rabbit because of the story of how he came to be mine. *^__^*

Traveling is great. Our first date was a hike. We have since been to Portland, Seattle, and New Orleans together. We will hit Europe for sure. We also love live theatre and music events. Honestly, he is so thoughtful in whatever he gets me, that I love anything he gets me when he does, including fresh strawberries. ☺️

That was sweet of your boss, but also an interesting choice of present for an employee.

The Monty post I was referring to is the one where I explained veganism.
Awww!! I like your memories with him so much! It is so beautiful especially about that bunny stuffed animal.

Oh man, that store sounds like awesomeness! His way of poking you is cute ?

I smiled all the way through reading your story.

See, I told you! He's a keeper! Keep him! Lol

Girl, don't makw cry about those memories of your travel together. The farthest I travelled with my longest ex (he's a taurus) to a national garden and national park neighbouring cities. They were memorable to me so much.

Also, with a sag much later on, he asked to go to the same place I shared moments with the taurus. I was like, "let's go to (another place) instead." 😛

And guess what, even it's only within the city (the place is still a huge city park as well) the experience of it still is profound to me. There I saw the sag saving me from almost look like a crisis moment with such brilliant solution!

Omfg! Lemme just tell you the story! Damn.

Anyway, so he was laying down closing his eyes, resting, right. I was sitting and watching the view. Then I got a phonecall from my mum. Asking me my whereabout (yeah I spent 3 days in a row with him) and she started to sense me lying in that phone call. After I hung up the call, I was silent. Thinking how I should act in front of my mum later. The sag calmly woke up. Spoke gently and told me a solution of that. I must say he covered all the sides to make the situation believable. He was my comrade at that time. He faced my parents first and then I followed. But, funny enough he seemed to break it in the middle by doing something in my house. And wow I think he tested me as well. I responded to him, "if you were about to make the lie perfect, why did you do it?!" He didn't answer. But I knew it by then it was like him saying, "Because I don't like lying. I can be very good at it, but it doesn't mean I like it. I only do it for you. And because I'm in this shit together with you."

Memories.... Aren't they beautiful 😭
😆

Are you two still together?
No. We're not together.
click to expand

Only answer if you want: Why did it end, really?
Profile picture of Montgomery
Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by LillyPetal
This is an interesting aspect of our dynamic!

When we first met, we were both pescatarian. I then moved toward vegetarianism and he began to cut down on seafood. I then transitioned to veganism, and he's is vegan when cooking with me. We go grocery shopping together and we only buy vegan products and ingredients. But he's technically not vegan because he will occasionally eat cheese and "dolphin-free" seafood (never pork, beef, lamb, or chicken, and not salmon.) We are both political-minded, so he is political about where he gets his cheese (for example, he won't eat cheese from chains, but he will eat the cheese his mom makes or from local dairy farmers.)

He and I have very interesting debates about veganism because I've reached a point where I am done exploiting animals yet he still sees a medium (a middle-ground I don't believe really exists.)

It's interesting because I was talking veganism with his best friend, a Taurus, and the Taurus said my Capricorn seemed to always have it in him - to be vegan - even when he first met him. He said that the way he spoke, and the issues he was interested in and passionate about, the Taurus thinks my Capricorn eventually turning vegan is basically written in the stars.

It's an interesting situation because he is of German heritage. And the fact that his mother runs a bakery and cheesery for a living - I know that's plays a big part in why he isn't committing completely to a vegan life style .

I told my Capricorn that if we were to ever have children, I would like to raise them vegan. He is completely in support of that. I wish my parents had raised me vegan and given me a choice in whether or not I wanted to eat animals.

When I first became vegan, I was mentally going through so much (what with cognitive-resonance, social pressures, feelings of isolation...) At his family-gatherings, I often get judgements about my life decision to go cruelty-free. I love that he will step in and speak up for me, even when he hasn't made the full transition himself. He will also question the menu for me when we go out to eat to ensure the dishes are vegan, or ask the cooks at food stands during fairs...His support means a lot, more than I could ever express.

I am hoping that one day, we will both be fully vegan together.
Soo... no-- you actually got him started.

Okay, thanks.

I'm curious, though... since it's an ideological/religious thing for you,

you're commitment isn't health-based-- it's a moral stance, right?









Profile picture of iCloud9
iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
click to expand

what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol

Profile picture of LillyPetal
LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by LillyPetal
This is an interesting aspect of our dynamic!

When we first met, we were both pescatarian. I then moved toward vegetarianism and he began to cut down on seafood. I then transitioned to veganism, and he's is vegan when cooking with me. We go grocery shopping together and we only buy vegan products and ingredients. But he's technically not vegan because he will occasionally eat cheese and "dolphin-free" seafood (never pork, beef, lamb, or chicken, and not salmon.) We are both political-minded, so he is political about where he gets his cheese (for example, he won't eat cheese from chains, but he will eat the cheese his mom makes or from local dairy farmers.)

He and I have very interesting debates about veganism because I've reached a point where I am done exploiting animals yet he still sees a medium (a middle-ground I don't believe really exists.)

It's interesting because I was talking veganism with his best friend, a Taurus, and the Taurus said my Capricorn seemed to always have it in him - to be vegan - even when he first met him. He said that the way he spoke, and the issues he was interested in and passionate about, the Taurus thinks my Capricorn eventually turning vegan is basically written in the stars.

It's an interesting situation because he is of German heritage. And the fact that his mother runs a bakery and cheesery for a living - I know that's plays a big part in why he isn't committing completely to a vegan life style .

I told my Capricorn that if we were to ever have children, I would like to raise them vegan. He is completely in support of that. I wish my parents had raised me vegan and given me a choice in whether or not I wanted to eat animals.

When I first became vegan, I was mentally going through so much (what with cognitive-resonance, social pressures, feelings of isolation...) At his family-gatherings, I often get judgements about my life decision to go cruelty-free. I love that he will step in and speak up for me, even when he hasn't made the full transition himself. He will also question the menu for me when we go out to eat to ensure the dishes are vegan, or ask the cooks at food stands during fairs...His support means a lot, more than I could ever express.

I am hoping that one day, we will both be fully vegan together.
Soo... no-- you actually got him started.

Okay, thanks.

I'm curious, though... since it's an ideological/religious thing for you,

you're commitment isn't health-based-- it's a moral stance, right?











click to expand

My choice to be vegan is not connected to my religion, although aspects of my religion that speak about showing compassion and mercy to all living beings would definitely support veganism.

My decision to go vegan is based on moral, ethical, environmental, political, health, and YES! THE ANIMALS! It's the answer to so many aspects of life. The more I learn about veganism, the more I make adjustments to my life style , the more my actions align with the kind of person I want to be. Being vegan is the reasonable thing to do. Simple as that.
Profile picture of LillyPetal
LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol



click to expand

Boring, generic things like, "Please move over."
Profile picture of iCloud9
iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol




Boring, generic things like, "Please move over."

click to expand

tbh, this may trigger my rebellious side on a day as hot as today lol. don't like the sweet "scootch your tooth"? sure. MOVE YOUR ASS

i'm not suggesting you do that though lol

Profile picture of LillyPetal
LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol




Boring, generic things like, "Please move over."


tbh, this may trigger my rebellious side on a day as hot as today lol. don't like the sweet "scootch your tooth"? sure. MOVE YOUR ASS

i'm not suggesting you do that though lol

click to expand

Lol...

I haven't contacted him (and he hasn't contacted me) since he dropped me off last night. Sleeping on it has helped a bit, but my mind isn't yet clear on the situation, and I woke up with a headache. I feel like just keeping the distance until it gets comfortable to be this way. But I will have to see him at work in three days.

Profile picture of iCloud9
iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol




Boring, generic things like, "Please move over."


tbh, this may trigger my rebellious side on a day as hot as today lol. don't like the sweet "scootch your tooth"? sure. MOVE YOUR ASS

i'm not suggesting you do that though lol


Lol...

I haven't contacted him (and he hasn't contacted me) since he dropped me off last night. Sleeping on it has helped a bit, but my mind isn't yet clear on the situation, and I woke up with a headache. I feel like just keeping the distance until it gets comfortable to be this way. But I will have to see him at work in three days.

click to expand

caps can be moody. he probably was not in the best mood last night already before the incident. it was good that you expressed strongly that you were not pleased with what happened. many of us respect people with backbones. a few days of cooling off is nothing to worry about

the important thing is it's not necessary to become overly negative and think the relationship is doomed for this one silly incident though. and please don't think/say something like he is too good for me or i'm not good enough for him. nothing would annoy me more than such a self-deprecating passive aggressive statement
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol




Boring, generic things like, "Please move over."


tbh, this may trigger my rebellious side on a day as hot as today lol. don't like the sweet "scootch your tooth"? sure. MOVE YOUR ASS

i'm not suggesting you do that though lol


Lol...

I haven't contacted him (and he hasn't contacted me) since he dropped me off last night. Sleeping on it has helped a bit, but my mind isn't yet clear on the situation, and I woke up with a headache. I feel like just keeping the distance until it gets comfortable to be this way. But I will have to see him at work in three days.


caps can be moody. he probably was not in the best mood last night already before the incident. it was good that you expressed strongly that you were not pleased with what happened. many of us respect people with backbones. a few days of cooling off is nothing to worry about

the important thing is it's not necessary to become overly negative and think the relationship is doomed for this one silly incident though. and please don't think/say something like he is too good for me or i'm not good enough for him. nothing would annoy me more than such a self-deprecating passive aggressive statement
click to expand

Yeah...I think it, but I don't tell him that. I think I may only ever say it to him when a breakup is happening.
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iCloud9
@iCloud9
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1931 · Topics: 2
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by iCloud9
his meanness? i feel guilty reading how nice he is lol. if i work w/ scorp together, i'd probably chop his head off many times already lol



i'm going to be direct (not trying to be mean). you are very passive aggressive, insecure and controlling.

so, a person cannot feel that his love is perfect with flaws because he understands that no one is perfect and your flaws are acceptable? he is not allowed to not feel the need to point out every flaw of yours (unless he is virgo of course lol) when they don't matter that much at the time of occurrence? you don't want to be surprised that he will be mean once a while because he didn't tell you every little thing that annoyed him? trust me. even if he was an intolerant ass, there is no way to eliminate occasional complains or irritations (your so-called 'meanness') for the rest of your life lol. you can control or learn how you take criticism but you cannot control others to never surprise you negatively

"he is too good for me"

"i'm not good enough"

"i'm secretly hoping he ends it'

"I plan to go no-contact throughout this time. If this is to give us space, then it makes no sense to me to stay in contact over the phone."

you would see some serious rreeaalll meanness from me for your level of passive aggression i tell you lol




I would rather he complain more so that I at least know what he's really thinking about me...
what was his suggestion for you to say next time when this happens? "no problem babe. move your ass. your giant ass is in my way" is what i'd tell him lol




Boring, generic things like, "Please move over."


tbh, this may trigger my rebellious side on a day as hot as today lol. don't like the sweet "scootch your tooth"? sure. MOVE YOUR ASS

i'm not suggesting you do that though lol


Lol...

I haven't contacted him (and he hasn't contacted me) since he dropped me off last night. Sleeping on it has helped a bit, but my mind isn't yet clear on the situation, and I woke up with a headache. I feel like just keeping the distance until it gets comfortable to be this way. But I will have to see him at work in three days.


caps can be moody. he probably was not in the best mood last night already before the incident. it was good that you expressed strongly that you were not pleased with what happened. many of us respect people with backbones. a few days of cooling off is nothing to worry about

the important thing is it's not necessary to become overly negative and think the relationship is doomed for this one silly incident though. and please don't think/say something like he is too good for me or i'm not good enough for him. nothing would annoy me more than such a self-deprecating passive aggressive statement
Yeah...I think it, but I don't tell him that. I think I may only ever say it to him when a breakup is happening.
click to expand

there won't be a breakup happening over this. that'd be even too petty to make it to the Petty Patrol thread lol. let your mind take a break from this. do what you enjoy and don't care for a while
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Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by LillyPetal
This is an interesting aspect of our dynamic!

When we first met, we were both pescatarian. I then moved toward vegetarianism and he began to cut down on seafood. I then transitioned to veganism, and he's is vegan when cooking with me. We go grocery shopping together and we only buy vegan products and ingredients. But he's technically not vegan because he will occasionally eat cheese and "dolphin-free" seafood (never pork, beef, lamb, or chicken, and not salmon.) We are both political-minded, so he is political about where he gets his cheese (for example, he won't eat cheese from chains, but he will eat the cheese his mom makes or from local dairy farmers.)

He and I have very interesting debates about veganism because I've reached a point where I am done exploiting animals yet he still sees a medium (a middle-ground I don't believe really exists.)

It's interesting because I was talking veganism with his best friend, a Taurus, and the Taurus said my Capricorn seemed to always have it in him - to be vegan - even when he first met him. He said that the way he spoke, and the issues he was interested in and passionate about, the Taurus thinks my Capricorn eventually turning vegan is basically written in the stars.

It's an interesting situation because he is of German heritage. And the fact that his mother runs a bakery and cheesery for a living - I know that's plays a big part in why he isn't committing completely to a vegan life style .

I told my Capricorn that if we were to ever have children, I would like to raise them vegan. He is completely in support of that. I wish my parents had raised me vegan and given me a choice in whether or not I wanted to eat animals.

When I first became vegan, I was mentally going through so much (what with cognitive-resonance, social pressures, feelings of isolation...) At his family-gatherings, I often get judgements about my life decision to go cruelty-free. I love that he will step in and speak up for me, even when he hasn't made the full transition himself. He will also question the menu for me when we go out to eat to ensure the dishes are vegan, or ask the cooks at food stands during fairs...His support means a lot, more than I could ever express.

I am hoping that one day, we will both be fully vegan together.
Soo... no-- you actually got him started.

Okay, thanks.

I'm curious, though... since it's an ideological/religious thing for you,

you're commitment isn't health-based-- it's a moral stance, right?












My choice to be vegan is not connected to my religion, although aspects of my religion that speak about showing compassion and mercy to all living beings would definitely support veganism.

My decision to go vegan is based on moral, ethical, environmental, political, health, and YES! THE ANIMALS! It's the answer to so many aspects of life. The more I learn about veganism, the more I make adjustments to my life style , the more my actions align with the kind of person I want to be. Being vegan is the reasonable thing to do. Simple as that.
click to expand

Sorry for any confusion with my wording-- I know that veganism is

not a part of any of the Abrahamic religions. :/

Seems more aligned with Eastern philosophy, in tune with the

pantheistic or polytheistic religions.

Appreciate your answer, Lillypetal-- thank you.









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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by LillyPetal
This is an interesting aspect of our dynamic!

When we first met, we were both pescatarian. I then moved toward vegetarianism and he began to cut down on seafood. I then transitioned to veganism, and he's is vegan when cooking with me. We go grocery shopping together and we only buy vegan products and ingredients. But he's technically not vegan because he will occasionally eat cheese and "dolphin-free" seafood (never pork, beef, lamb, or chicken, and not salmon.) We are both political-minded, so he is political about where he gets his cheese (for example, he won't eat cheese from chains, but he will eat the cheese his mom makes or from local dairy farmers.)

He and I have very interesting debates about veganism because I've reached a point where I am done exploiting animals yet he still sees a medium (a middle-ground I don't believe really exists.)

It's interesting because I was talking veganism with his best friend, a Taurus, and the Taurus said my Capricorn seemed to always have it in him - to be vegan - even when he first met him. He said that the way he spoke, and the issues he was interested in and passionate about, the Taurus thinks my Capricorn eventually turning vegan is basically written in the stars.

It's an interesting situation because he is of German heritage. And the fact that his mother runs a bakery and cheesery for a living - I know that's plays a big part in why he isn't committing completely to a vegan life style .

I told my Capricorn that if we were to ever have children, I would like to raise them vegan. He is completely in support of that. I wish my parents had raised me vegan and given me a choice in whether or not I wanted to eat animals.

When I first became vegan, I was mentally going through so much (what with cognitive-resonance, social pressures, feelings of isolation...) At his family-gatherings, I often get judgements about my life decision to go cruelty-free. I love that he will step in and speak up for me, even when he hasn't made the full transition himself. He will also question the menu for me when we go out to eat to ensure the dishes are vegan, or ask the cooks at food stands during fairs...His support means a lot, more than I could ever express.

I am hoping that one day, we will both be fully vegan together.
Soo... no-- you actually got him started.

Okay, thanks.

I'm curious, though... since it's an ideological/religious thing for you,

you're commitment isn't health-based-- it's a moral stance, right?












My choice to be vegan is not connected to my religion, although aspects of my religion that speak about showing compassion and mercy to all living beings would definitely support veganism.

My decision to go vegan is based on moral, ethical, environmental, political, health, and YES! THE ANIMALS! It's the answer to so many aspects of life. The more I learn about veganism, the more I make adjustments to my life style , the more my actions align with the kind of person I want to be. Being vegan is the reasonable thing to do. Simple as that.
Sorry for any confusion with my wording-- I know that veganism is

not a part of any of the Abrahamic religions. :/

Seems more aligned with Eastern philosophy, in tune with the

pantheistic or polytheistic religions.

Appreciate your answer, Lillypetal-- thank you.











click to expand

No problem, Monty.
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by SofiaV87
I don't see this as a big deal but that's just me.. i would rather my man be honest , even if it took him a little longer than expected- he was still being honest with u ... now I want brownies lol
Lol, it was our first vegan recipe baking (we had only cooked vegan up until that point.) I must say, they came out well! They were fudgy and chocolately, and they were a hit with my siblings (who are not vegan, except my sister has transitioned to vegetarianism and is now trying vegan options - YAY!). *^___^*

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SofiaV87
@SofiaV87
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 3859 · Topics: 121
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by SofiaV87
I don't see this as a big deal but that's just me.. i would rather my man be honest , even if it took him a little longer than expected- he was still being honest with u ... now I want brownies lol
Lol, it was our first vegan recipe baking (we had only cooked vegan up until that point.) I must say, they came out well! They were fudgy and chocolately, and they were a hit with my siblings (who are not vegan, except my sister has transitioned to vegetarianism and is now trying vegan options - YAY!). *^___^*

click to expand

Yea vegan brownies are really good, I was surprised when i tried them
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
So far, this is what I've learned:

1) I might have a personality disorder, and I need therapy.

2) I have not been loving my Sea-Goat unconditionally.

3) I am way too critical of him.

4) I am not accepting enough of his quirks and idiosyncrasies that make him the man I love.

5) I can't believe I have someone in my life who loves me as much as he does.

6) I need to hold on to his love, even when he isn't expressing it in a way I want in any given time.

7) I need to stop trying to control and "improve" him.

8) He's truly a free-spirit. What are the chances of meeting a true free-spirit? I'm that way, we are meant for each other.

9) I don't know how to be better.

10) I need to enjoy this "space" during a time when things are going great. I need to see my siblings. If we separate while happy, it won't carry this stigma that space is for when things are not going well. I will come to embrace Space as an act of love and nurturing.
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Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by Gob_Shite
The problem with many modern women is that, in various aspects of their private lives, they're not very good at coping with or accepting things when it's not on their terms.



This thread is the perfect example. The OP wanted honesty but, because it wasn't what she expected to hear, when she wanted to hear it and how she wanted it conveyed, she was pissed off.

Sorry, but one has to realise that a romantic relationship consists of two very different individuals.

You were oblivious to his feelings/needs, because you gave your ego priority...


Yup.

I've found that men also have similar issues

stemming from fear and entitlement.

Many-- both men & women-- have *serious*

control issues... others are just bitter.

But everyone has damage.



User Submitted Image









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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by Gob_Shite
The problem with many modern women is that, in various aspects of their private lives, they're not very good at coping with or accepting things when it's not on their terms.



This thread is the perfect example. The OP wanted honesty but, because it wasn't what she expected to hear, when she wanted to hear it and how she wanted it conveyed, she was pissed off.

Sorry, but one has to realise that a romantic relationship consists of two very different individuals.

You were oblivious to his feelings/needs, because you gave your ego priority...


Two of the things I've learned is that my emotions tend to snowball - so small things end up triggering huge emotions. Also, I let outsiders energies affect my relationship energy.

I have a lot of growing and learning to do. Setting specific intentions and meditating on them has truly helped me.

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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
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Posted by Fortuna
@Lillypetal

It's been almost a month--any updates? Good news, I hope. ?
Yes! We have grown closer together since seeing each other after the break. So much happened. Dark things AND light. We are at a point now where I am actually bringing him joy (not just where he tells me I make him happy, but where I can FEEL myself making him happy.) He brings me happiness.

I don't want this feeling to go away. I'm taking it one day at a time, one moment at a time, one reaction at a time.

It's funny because, at one point, we got high together. At that point, we already had the tearful lovemaking, and I was fighting back my feelings of doubt and shame. When we got high together, Allll of the confusion, anger, hate, and bullchit went away and I was left with this Love. The Love that I questioned was even there anymore. The Love I doubted if I was deserving of. I knew, in that moment of silencing my mind, that I want to be with him. That further validated my other moment of clarity. I will spare the details, but days of intense negative emotions and the lack of desire for any form of intimacy came to a peak in a nighttime conversation under a clock tower.

I hadn't been eating much, and I bitterly picked at a pathetic salad with no dressing (the only vegan food at the small restaurant by the supermarket we walked to earlier.) I was numb, and I finally decided to open up about all the chit that was going on in my screwed up head. I had tears in my eyes, but they didn't flow. I was cold, almost cruel, and I spoke as though I was trying to end it.

I can't fathom what the f u ck I have ever done to deserve him. He spoke emotionally but firmly, and he said words that were like aloe Vera to my emotional and mental wounds. This storm, a storm that I usually generate to destroy and remove people from my life. He weathered it without ever thinking he shouldn't.

Anyway, I've learned a lot about myself and a lot about him in this period. He is legit fighting for me, and I now know without certainty that I want to fight for him. Thing is, he doesn't even see it as a battle. He just sees it as life and one he chose to live and one he chose to live with me.

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MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 37529 · Posts: 41243 · Topics: 331
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by MyStarsShine
Good luck Lilly 🙂

Xx
Thank you so much

His Libra brother and his cancer girlfriend broke up. I just found out yesterday, and that really shook me. That could have been us. And to think I was wishing for it...
click to expand

Sometimes we push others away because we need to accept ourselves, if you see what i mean Lilly. See it through if you can. I am a big believer *until the bitter (or not so bitter)? ... end*

🙂

x
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
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Posted by Gob_Shite
The OP is a good example of why many men don't want to get married (again)...


I've got a friend who behaves like the OP when it comes to guys- very stereotypical female and all. When she's venting to me, there are times I feel like the dude because it's like wtf, this makes no sense and is total bullshit. No wonder some guys can't be bothered anymore, jfc.

"Girl logic" is some of the most fucking retarded shit you'll ever hear/see. Crazy hoes like that make it even more difficult for the rest of us.

Funny thing is a lot of the time these crazy hoes manage to land relationships more frequently than the sane ones, which says a lot about the opposite gender as well, tbh. :/
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
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Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by Gob_Shite
The OP is a good example of why many men don't want to get married (again)...


I've got a friend who behaves like the OP when it comes to guys- very stereotypical female and all. When she's venting to me, there are times I feel like the dude because it's like wtf, this makes no sense and is total bullshit. No wonder some guys can't be bothered anymore, jfc.

"Girl logic" is some of the most fucking retarded shit you'll ever hear/see. Crazy hoes like that make it even more difficult for the rest of us.

Funny thing is a lot of the time these crazy hoes manage to land relationships more frequently than the sane ones, which says a lot about the opposite gender as well, tbh. :/
click to expand

Oh, absolutely. He definitely has the harder job.
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by Gob_Shite
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Funny thing is a lot of the time these crazy hoes manage to land relationships more frequently than the sane ones, which says a lot about the opposite gender as well, tbh. :/

Probably just better at hiding their flaws and manipulating others. As the saying goes, if it's too good to be true...

click to expand

Nah, I was definitely pretty open about being insane in the membrane. He just made the decision that I am still worth it, I suppose.
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LillyPetal
@LillyPetal
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 33 · Posts: 5490 · Topics: 118
Posted by MyStarsShine
Posted by LillyPetal
Posted by MyStarsShine
Good luck Lilly 🙂

Xx
Thank you so much

His Libra brother and his cancer girlfriend broke up. I just found out yesterday, and that really shook me. That could have been us. And to think I was wishing for it...
Sometimes we push others away because we need to accept ourselves, if you see what i mean Lilly. See it through if you can. I am a big believer *until the bitter (or not so bitter)? ... end*

🙂

x
click to expand

Powerful ❤