Why would a man (My ex) always try to make me look like I'm obsessed with him, with every new girl?

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TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
@TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
4 Years

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My ex is always contacting me..telling me he loves my blah blah blah.. most time I ignore him..sometimes I respond and I'm cold..because I know his games..and other times I feel vulnerable and let him munitplate me because I did love him alot. But he like dares constant woman since me. Like back to back woman. Sometimes he will date them publicly for a few weeks...most girls are kept on the low in secret and off his social media..but he always tells me about them..after swearing to me he single and isn't speaking to anyone...THEN!! here is the cherry.. he will start messaging me..to leave him alone and he wants nothing to do with me— Every single time! I find out he gets with a new girl...runs right to her..tells her about me...then acts like I'm obsessed..then likes to purposely take messages ive sent him only asking him why he doing this again...to show them. (He obviously never shows them what he sent me) why does he try to make it look like I'm so obsessed with him to new girls? Why does he even tell them about me?? Is this a tactic to pick up woman?
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TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
@TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
4 Years

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I should add...half the time these new girls are around...before he even contacts me to "tell me he love me" but I know he full of shit. My question is...why the hell he keep trying to make me look obsessed to new girls. Like do men do that for a pick up game? And woman...when your dating a new man... does like his ex "talking to him' make him more attractive or something?
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TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
@TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
4 Years

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Posted by FadedAri

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going back to the circus.

For you to have contact and to respond more to him speaks more about you and his validity.


I understand I'm human and after being in love and spending 10 years with someone... I didn't ask to be cheated on..I didn't sign up to leave them. And my love did not vanish overnight like a magician. It hit me out of the blue and I've been dealing. And when he comes back saying he regrets it. I understand I shouldn't listen..but again I'm human. And we are proned to want to hear people out, especially people we were invested too. But my question was not on me..it was...what would drive a man to do make me look like I'm obsessed with him to new woman? I was wondering if it were a dating tactic. But thanks for your pointless inconsiderate input
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TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
@TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
4 Years

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Posted by ImperfectStorm

Because he is immature and egotistical. That’s really all that you need to know.. instead of trying to figure him out you should just stop allowing it. He’s only doing it because he can and patterns will repeat themselves as long as you keep yourself there.


I agree with you on this. I'm not allowing it anymore. I made that choice. At first I was opened to hearing him out..but if he is on the same shit..then no way can I have that toxic in my life
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TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
@TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
4 Years

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Posted by GammaArietis

I used to obsessively wonder about the motivations of other people. The human psyche was fascinating to me. I got over that. It’s pointless and a waste of time. You are curious because some part of you still cares and you think if you figure him out it will help you get closure. It won’t. Block him on everything and move on.


Yeah I agree with you there. I'm hooked on the trying to figure people out. I know you are right. Block and move on. Easier said then done. But I got the blocking part down. So im half way there. Been 2 years since our breakup. Hard to move on when he just stalks constantly or finds ways to stay in my life. Every 3 weeks. He even ruined a new relationship for me. Lied to my new boyfriend. I have had to cut off alot of mutual friends ect just to create distance from him. It's hard.
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Mt. Yourmom
@FadedAri
5 Years

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Posted by TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
Posted by FadedAri

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going back to the circus.

For you to have contact and to respond more to him speaks more about you and his validity.

I understand I'm human and after being in love and spending 10 years with someone... I didn't ask to be cheated on..I didn't sign up to leave them. And my love did not vanish overnight like a magician. It hit me out of the blue and I've been dealing. And when he comes back saying he regrets it. I understand I shouldn't listen..but again I'm human. And we are proned to want to hear people out, especially people we were invested too. But my question was not on me..it was...what would drive a man to do make me look like I'm obsessed with him to new woman? I was wondering if it were a dating tactic. But thanks for your pointless inconsiderate input
click to expand


You do seem as he say especially after he has moved on with previous women while you still is at his beck and call. I would alert my others know also for them to be forewarned about an psycho ex who can’t let go and ruin my dates. If kids aren’t involved the door should be shut.
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by LadyNeptune

He thinks telling women your still obsessed with him will up his value.

Its sad really. He has nothing of intrinsic worth to bring to the table he has to spin tales about an ex. No game andy at work.

Imagine being on those dates with this absolute loser who just talks non stop about his ex being obsessed. It ironically just makes him look like the obsessed one.

There is a reason why these women are only around for a few weeks and its not because he ends things ijs.

But like others have pointed out, his tomfoolery isn't your problem. He cheated on you. His opinion of you is worth absolute dog shit at this point. Let him lie all he wants. If all he got out of your decade long relationship was using you as a prop when he dates then so be it.

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MikeNYNYC
@MikeNYNYC
7 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 84 · Posts: 875 · Topics: 6
Posted by TheStarsMadeMeDoIt

My ex is always contacting me..telling me he loves my blah blah blah.. most time I ignore him..sometimes I respond and I'm cold..because I know his games..and other times I feel vulnerable and let him munitplate me because I did love him alot. But he like dares constant woman since me. Like back to back woman. Sometimes he will date them publicly for a few weeks...most girls are kept on the low in secret and off his social media..but he always tells me about them..after swearing to me he single and isn't speaking to anyone...THEN!! here is the cherry.. he will start messaging me..to leave him alone and he wants nothing to do with me— Every single time! I find out he gets with a new girl...runs right to her..tells her about me...then acts like I'm obsessed..then likes to purposely take messages ive sent him only asking him why he doing this again...to show them. (He obviously never shows them what he sent me) why does he try to make it look like I'm so obsessed with him to new girls? Why does he even tell them about me?? Is this a tactic to pick up woman?


Yes, this is a tactic not men, but players use to play women; he's still in the phase where he needs his ego boosted. He's trying to create a bidding war amongst women for his time. He's trying to fire both sides up to be more passionate about him, and make himself feel like the man he really wants to be. And, if you keep giving him the time-of-day, your actions reflect what you feel that "you" deserve treatment-wise, and where you are in your personal growth.
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Vacation Queen
@saggurl88
12 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
Posted by TheStarsMadeMeDoIt
Posted by FadedAri

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown, blame yourself for going back to the circus.

For you to have contact and to respond more to him speaks more about you and his validity.

I understand I'm human and after being in love and spending 10 years with someone... I didn't ask to be cheated on..I didn't sign up to leave them. And my love did not vanish overnight like a magician. It hit me out of the blue and I've been dealing. And when he comes back saying he regrets it. I understand I shouldn't listen..but again I'm human. And we are proned to want to hear people out, especially people we were invested too. But my question was not on me..it was...what would drive a man to do make me look like I'm obsessed with him to new woman? I was wondering if it were a dating tactic. But thanks for your pointless inconsiderate input
click to expand



Doesn't it still feel like betrayal and cheating with him constantly throwing women in your face? Now he's hurting you on purpose.

He's acting bitter and lashing out and you are letting him have access to you, at what cost to your mental health and well being? You don't owe him anything.

Cut the cord on this loser and heal, then meet someone worth your time.

I understand it's hard to move on after so many years, but it's still necessary if you plan to take back your life and be happy again. You don't have to "slum it" with him. Take your energy back.
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Crixus
@crixusgem
4 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 16 · Topics: 1
This attitude looks immature and narcissistic. Maybe he has some kind of unresolved shit inside, old trauma, problems with parents in his infancy, whatever. But this behaviour is toxic and very manipulative.

You don't deserve that and I think you should walk away from there where he is causing so much pain. Sometimes it hurts after years invested but it's better to cut your losses and stop being unhappy and open the door to better things. Sometimes it's better to end things now than later with a family and more complications. You will be fine. Work on yourself, grow and don't let anyone play with you, lie, disrespect you, cheat on you, or manipulate you