MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
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Comments: 37529 Ā· Posts: 41243 Ā· Topics: 331
I Need to Vent! And Yes its about the Pisces guy again! (Page 2)
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Posted by pooface222Posted by PhoenixRising
Seriously what the hell are you going on about? You drove him away because you showed too much emotion? Why on earth would you want to be with a man that can not handle your emotion? You are both dysfunctional. Here you are feeling slighted, upset, confused by his behaviour (not sure why tbh because it fits with his approach thus far...) and rather than discuss that and get it sorted so you can move forward, you're passively avoiding him, the subject, he's sulking like a selfish baby because he's "unaware" of why you're feeling less than your usual affectionate self and then you're whining about it over text to the point of getting blocked.
Jesus Christ. Get yourself sorted already.
I'm trying.
I'm in Therapy. And have been for almost a year.
There's a lot to get through in my head and heart.
The main part Now is wishing he had never come near me, and wishing I had patched up my marriage.
It would have been Far Easier than this Toxic Hell I've been swimming in!
My husband gave me Everything! We built a life together!
Pisces- beyond all his Deep, All-Consuming Emotion - gave me Nothing!
I'm living in a 2 bed flat. Only seeing my child half the time. And I have Depression.
Before..I was married. I had a family. A 4 bed house. We both had cars. Holidays every year that He Chose to pay for.
And he had a great sense of humour, fun, funny, passionate and a good provider.
And I really miss him now.
Hence..
I'm in therapy to sort this Hell out!
I feltclick to expand
Hmph.
Based on what you shared your Ram ex wasn't too far from this Fish, simply a different type of poison. There is a common thread there that you need to explore more deeply.
It's a good thing you're getting therapy and it's important that you're very honest with yourself and your therapist in your sessions. I only highlight this (obvious point) because if you're saying you're a year deep into your counselling sessions, yet you're still saying things like: "I have driven him away!"..."I have f**ked up!" after he's ignored you, flaked on planned conversations/meetings and blocking you because you wouldn't give up the cooch. Sorry, this tells me that something is off in your therapy sessions. Talking about stuff is only quarter of the work. Most of it is figure out how to (and why you're not able to) put things into action.
Therapy is meant to force you take a hard look at yourself and influence serious change. I've read none of that thus far (well aside from you dumping him via email) and you need to figure out why.
Posted by Bumboklaat
I think theyre both trading off on power struggles. She seems to have the qualities to rise above but she keeps falling back into her self doubt which he knows. But hes just a variable. If it werent him it would have been someone similar to fill the role
This.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
https://i.ibb.co/QX9Y9Fr/ABD809-A1-5-D6-D-44-A6-92-F6-F56-EA33-A33-F1.png<div class="bqfade">click to expand
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
Posted by ImperfectStormPosted by pooface222Posted by ImperfectStormPosted by pooface222
She suggested this so I can give her My side of the story.
I haven't decided to do this but I'm just having a think.
Be honest with yourself. Do you suddenly want her to hear āyour side of the storyā 7 years later, with the hope that maybe she will leave him once she finds out about you? Since you couldnāt get him to leave her??
Itās crucial to be honest with yourself and your motives about this. I find it hard to believe that your intention is to help the wife.
." I find it hard to believe that your intention is to help the wife."
Intention and Thought are Two Different Things!
I Wrote THINKING!
But there is intention/motive behind every thought. To even consider doing something, there is a reason WHY you would consider it.
ie: āIām thinking about telling her BECAUSE.. I want her to hear my side of the story BECAUSEā¦
Because what? Thatās all Iām saying you should ask yourself.click to expand
Maybe because sheās hope she will have dignity and leave him to her when she finds out about the cheating
Hello Poof, I made an account just to reply. I used to be a member of this forum around 7-8 years ago,and a lot of people tried to help me then. Thankfully, I listened and made up my mind to be strong enough and cut off all contact with the loser I needed help with. Best decision I ever made. Saved my life and sanity.I have forgotten my old username so anyhow
I used to be in a similar situation as you are in. Codependent and weak. Suffice to say, I know that you feel cheated and hurt. There may be days when you will regret that you broke up your marriage for a loser, and days when he is with you or reaches out all the good feelings come back.
I am friends with a Pisces now, but being older and wiser I can tell you one thing about these signs. They are very sure about whom they want. No amount of waiting, being kind and pampering them will change their ultimate decision. But, they will ( Pisces men) will keep a person around as long as they control the situation and you dont get too demanding. If you do, the men are extremely evasive unless he wants to be with you
If this man wanted you for himself he would have stepped up long ago, and made it official. This pisces guy I know is open to a relationship with me ( holidays, sex etc etc without commitment) He says he needs time. Past experiences have taught me well that the so called time may never come, and I will be stupid to give my heart to someone who is unsure about his feelings and secretive about his life. So, I said okay lets be friends and stepped back before things got worse. One bad experience in this lifetime was enough
Most men will take what you offer if there are no strings attached. Nothing to do with astrology. I had wasted a long time with someone like your Pisces man. Ironically, he was a Capricorn but I was a fool . Like you made excuses for everything he did, put up with all the bullbutter and went out of my way to keep him happy
All he did was start disrespecting me and take me for granted. Lot of good people on here gave me sound advice back then and I listened. Please listen to what people are saying and cut off. Go NC. It will hurt initially but one day you will wake up with a lighter heart and be happy. You are 40 and a single mum. You need to think about yourself and your daughter and plan a future with a better man before it is too late.
I used to be in a similar situation as you are in. Codependent and weak. Suffice to say, I know that you feel cheated and hurt. There may be days when you will regret that you broke up your marriage for a loser, and days when he is with you or reaches out all the good feelings come back.
I am friends with a Pisces now, but being older and wiser I can tell you one thing about these signs. They are very sure about whom they want. No amount of waiting, being kind and pampering them will change their ultimate decision. But, they will ( Pisces men) will keep a person around as long as they control the situation and you dont get too demanding. If you do, the men are extremely evasive unless he wants to be with you
If this man wanted you for himself he would have stepped up long ago, and made it official. This pisces guy I know is open to a relationship with me ( holidays, sex etc etc without commitment) He says he needs time. Past experiences have taught me well that the so called time may never come, and I will be stupid to give my heart to someone who is unsure about his feelings and secretive about his life. So, I said okay lets be friends and stepped back before things got worse. One bad experience in this lifetime was enough
Most men will take what you offer if there are no strings attached. Nothing to do with astrology. I had wasted a long time with someone like your Pisces man. Ironically, he was a Capricorn but I was a fool . Like you made excuses for everything he did, put up with all the bullbutter and went out of my way to keep him happy
All he did was start disrespecting me and take me for granted. Lot of good people on here gave me sound advice back then and I listened. Please listen to what people are saying and cut off. Go NC. It will hurt initially but one day you will wake up with a lighter heart and be happy. You are 40 and a single mum. You need to think about yourself and your daughter and plan a future with a better man before it is too late.
But why is your only options your abusive ass ex Aries or your emotionally abusive side dick Pisces? There is a whole world full of dick (single dick!!) out there for the taking.
Instead of sitting in perpetual victim hood, own your choices.
You think your the only woman who wasted decade+ in an unhappy unfulfilled relationship/marriage? Of course not.
Itās only a waste if you donāt learn to choose yourself first. Until you can do so the universe will keep putting douches in your path for you to stumble over until you learn.
Staying tangled up with the Pisces only plays out the same way it has the last 7 years. Wanting him to stop the cycle because it no longer serves you is a fools errand. He will continue to do what is in his best interest always. You should take notes.
Canāt change the past. Canāt get that time back. But you can choose to not waste any more time to regrets.
Instead of sitting in perpetual victim hood, own your choices.
You think your the only woman who wasted decade+ in an unhappy unfulfilled relationship/marriage? Of course not.
Itās only a waste if you donāt learn to choose yourself first. Until you can do so the universe will keep putting douches in your path for you to stumble over until you learn.
Staying tangled up with the Pisces only plays out the same way it has the last 7 years. Wanting him to stop the cycle because it no longer serves you is a fools errand. He will continue to do what is in his best interest always. You should take notes.
Canāt change the past. Canāt get that time back. But you can choose to not waste any more time to regrets.
let the lyrics sink in ...
Posted by Maxian
I think it's pretty easy. If someone really wants to be there, he/she would be. Why waste more time on a coward after those 7 wasted years already?
I know.
And I'm missing my married life.
I miss having a man who actually built a life with me and had vibrant energy and worked towards the future.
Told me he loved me. Showed me he loved me.
And the worst thing is. I KNEW I regret leaving him.
Posted by LadyNeptune
But why is your only options your abusive ass ex Aries or your emotionally abusive side dick Pisces? There is a whole world full of dick (single dick!!) out there for the taking.
Instead of sitting in perpetual victim hood, own your choices.
You think your the only woman who wasted decade+ in an unhappy unfulfilled relationship/marriage? Of course not.
Itās only a waste if you donāt learn to choose yourself first. Until you can do so the universe will keep putting douches in your path for you to stumble over until you learn.
Staying tangled up with the Pisces only plays out the same way it has the last 7 years. Wanting him to stop the cycle because it no longer serves you is a fools errand. He will continue to do what is in his best interest always. You should take notes.
Canāt change the past. Canāt get that time back. But you can choose to not waste any more time to regrets.
I'll tell you why x
First of all, I come from a single parent family. My mum struggled emotionally and financially with me and my sister alone.
However..my mum and I don't get on. Another long story but not going into it. She has caused problems between me and my sister too.
So..
Keeping the Pisces Douchebag out of this, I never ever wanted to be a single parent myself.
I've never really know family life. My mum is very cold emotionally. And cruel.
So I kept staying in my marriage - and now REGRETTING going after the Pisces b**tard - because I love. My little girl SO. MUCH that I couldn't bear to lose half of her time due to divorce.
That's the first reason..my little girl x
Secondly...(above), Not wanting to be a single parent. Its HARD!
Thirdly (also above), I have never known family. I've never known mum and dad. A proper family unit. And although I don't want or need a 'father' for a partner, I was staying with my husband- and now want him back - because I'm longing for what I never had. Family š
Finally - I never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.
So only having fully realised these things now..I'm in a lot of pain!
I ALREADY THOUGHT of these above things in 2016 but these thoughts were deeply buried beneath Post-Natal Depression. Major Anxiety. My marriage falling apart and a new man on the scene.
I have made a HUGE MISTAKE now in throwing my security away for NOTHING basically!
And I'm missing my old life. Missing my husband and all his positive energy and drive for the future.
He's basically a spoilt brat.
Classic Aries to be honest.
If he doesn't get his own way he has Temper Tantrums!
But in more positive Aries fashion he was fun, funny, positive, energetic, worked towards the future. Showed his love in words and actions that MATCHED. Made me feel special.
Supported me in my work.
Gave me everything.
Pisces guy is stagnant. Wastes everyones time INCLUDING his own. A Liar. A Cheat. A User. Nothing is EVER HIS fault.
And worst of all he is a Parasite!
Feeds of Everyone for his own financial and personal gain - while cheating lying and using.
He actually makes me feel physically š¤¢š¤® now.
Sorry for the long reply x
Funny youāre complaining about someone who doesnāt take responsibility for their own actionsā¦. You donāt think, idk, youāre attracting the same energy youāre putting out there?! It all starts with you and until you stop hyper-fixating on thisāyou will never heal yourself. But hey, Iāve read so much good stuff in this thread. I can see you donāt actually want help or you would be getting it in therapy.
Posted by pooface222Posted by LadyNeptune
But why is your only options your abusive ass ex Aries or your emotionally abusive side dick Pisces? There is a whole world full of dick (single dick!!) out there for the taking.
Instead of sitting in perpetual victim hood, own your choices.
You think your the only woman who wasted decade+ in an unhappy unfulfilled relationship/marriage? Of course not.
Itās only a waste if you donāt learn to choose yourself first. Until you can do so the universe will keep putting douches in your path for you to stumble over until you learn.
Staying tangled up with the Pisces only plays out the same way it has the last 7 years. Wanting him to stop the cycle because it no longer serves you is a fools errand. He will continue to do what is in his best interest always. You should take notes.
Canāt change the past. Canāt get that time back. But you can choose to not waste any more time to regrets.
I'll tell you why x
First of all, I come from a single parent family. My mum struggled emotionally and financially with me and my sister alone.
However..my mum and I don't get on. Another long story but not going into it. She has caused problems between me and my sister too.
So..
Keeping the Pisces Douchebag out of this, I never ever wanted to be a single parent myself.
I've never really know family life. My mum is very cold emotionally. And cruel.
So I kept staying in my marriage - and now REGRETTING going after the Pisces b**tard - because I love. My little girl SO. MUCH that I couldn't bear to lose half of her time due to divorce.
That's the first reason..my little girl x
Secondly...(above), Not wanting to be a single parent. Its HARD!
Thirdly (also above), I have never known family. I've never known mum and dad. A proper family unit. And although I don't want or need a 'father' for a partner, I was staying with my husband- and now want him back - because I'm longing for what I never had. Family š
Finally - I never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.
So only having fully realised these things now..I'm in a lot of pain!
I ALREADY THOUGHT of these above things in 2016 but these thoughts were deeply buried beneath Post-Natal Depression. Major Anxiety. My marriage falling apart and a new man on the scene.
I have made a HUGE MISTAKE now in throwing my security away for NOTHING basically!
And I'm missing my old life. Missing my husband and all his positive energy and drive for the future.
He's basically a spoilt brat.
Classic Aries to be honest.
If he doesn't get his own way he has Temper Tantrums!
But in more positive Aries fashion he was fun, funny, positive, energetic, worked towards the future. Showed his love in words and actions that MATCHED. Made me feel special.
Supported me in my work.
Gave me everything.
Pisces guy is stagnant. Wastes everyones time INCLUDING his own. A Liar. A Cheat. A User. Nothing is EVER HIS fault.
And worst of all he is a Parasite!
Feeds of Everyone for his own financial and personal gain - while cheating lying and using.
He actually makes me feel physically š¤¢š¤® now.
Sorry for the long reply xclick to expand
Your mother was a solo parent. In that she had no help or support with your father not being in the picture.
You are a single parent not a solo parent like your mom. You arenāt doing this alone. Your ex is coparenting and as you say, it being painful and all, you are sharing custody of your daughter.
I find this bit a tad hypocritical of you, āI never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.ā
Didnāt you bring your child around the Pisces when you were still married? And if not, you certainly were planning to move in with him, providing he lived up to his empty promises, and play happy Brady bunch family. The pain of that to your ex didnāt seem to matter when the shoe is on the other foot.
I donāt want to berate you tho. Just once again reiterate that to heal you should let go of the past. What is done is done.
Looking back at your failed marriage with rose colored glasses because you miss the big house and all the material things that never kept you happy enough to stay in the marriage in the first place. Itās a pointless exercise.
Your wasting more energy and time regretting decisions you can never change.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by pooface222Posted by LadyNeptune
But why is your only options your abusive ass ex Aries or your emotionally abusive side dick Pisces? There is a whole world full of dick (single dick!!) out there for the taking.
Instead of sitting in perpetual victim hood, own your choices.
You think your the only woman who wasted decade+ in an unhappy unfulfilled relationship/marriage? Of course not.
Itās only a waste if you donāt learn to choose yourself first. Until you can do so the universe will keep putting douches in your path for you to stumble over until you learn.
Staying tangled up with the Pisces only plays out the same way it has the last 7 years. Wanting him to stop the cycle because it no longer serves you is a fools errand. He will continue to do what is in his best interest always. You should take notes.
Canāt change the past. Canāt get that time back. But you can choose to not waste any more time to regrets.
I'll tell you why x
First of all, I come from a single parent family. My mum struggled emotionally and financially with me and my sister alone.
However..my mum and I don't get on. Another long story but not going into it. She has caused problems between me and my sister too.
So..
Keeping the Pisces Douchebag out of this, I never ever wanted to be a single parent myself.
I've never really know family life. My mum is very cold emotionally. And cruel.
So I kept staying in my marriage - and now REGRETTING going after the Pisces b**tard - because I love. My little girl SO. MUCH that I couldn't bear to lose half of her time due to divorce.
That's the first reason..my little girl x
Secondly...(above), Not wanting to be a single parent. Its HARD!
Thirdly (also above), I have never known family. I've never known mum and dad. A proper family unit. And although I don't want or need a 'father' for a partner, I was staying with my husband- and now want him back - because I'm longing for what I never had. Family š
Finally - I never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.
So only having fully realised these things now..I'm in a lot of pain!
I ALREADY THOUGHT of these above things in 2016 but these thoughts were deeply buried beneath Post-Natal Depression. Major Anxiety. My marriage falling apart and a new man on the scene.
I have made a HUGE MISTAKE now in throwing my security away for NOTHING basically!
And I'm missing my old life. Missing my husband and all his positive energy and drive for the future.
He's basically a spoilt brat.
Classic Aries to be honest.
If he doesn't get his own way he has Temper Tantrums!
But in more positive Aries fashion he was fun, funny, positive, energetic, worked towards the future. Showed his love in words and actions that MATCHED. Made me feel special.
Supported me in my work.
Gave me everything.
Pisces guy is stagnant. Wastes everyones time INCLUDING his own. A Liar. A Cheat. A User. Nothing is EVER HIS fault.
And worst of all he is a Parasite!
Feeds of Everyone for his own financial and personal gain - while cheating lying and using.
He actually makes me feel physically š¤¢š¤® now.
Sorry for the long reply x
Your mother was a solo parent. In that she had no help or support with your father not being in the picture.
You are a single parent not a solo parent like your mom. You arenāt doing this alone. Your ex is coparenting and as you say, it being painful and all, you are sharing custody of your daughter.
I find this bit a tad hypocritical of you, āI never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.ā
Didnāt you bring your child around the Pisces when you were still married? And if not, you certainly were planning to move in with him, providing he lived up to his empty promises, and play happy Brady bunch family. The pain of that to your ex didnāt seem to matter when the shoe is on the other foot.
I donāt want to berate you tho. Just once again reiterate that to heal you should let go of the past. What is done is done.
Looking back at your failed marriage with rose colored glasses because you miss the big house and all the material things that never kept you happy enough to stay in the marriage in the first place. Itās a pointless exercise.
Your wasting more energy and time regretting decisions you can never change.click to expand
I actually kept my child away from Pisces. He was so anti-kids when he came into my life.
It wasn't until she was about 3 that I had coffee with him when she was with me. He called me to have coffee and I had her with me.
What I'm trying to say is that there are many women who stay in marriages for the sake of the kids and the life they have.
That is me.
I'm feeling very sad that its all gone.
The life we had together was MORE THAN enough for me x (I'm not shouting by the way when I use capital letters).
I went outside the marriage because my husbands control became so HUGE I couldn't deal with him anymore.
Deep down I never stopped loving him.
Now its gone and I hate it!
Its very painful...
I have not read the thread, BUT two things:
#1 - you were not stupid for leaving your husband. You were miserable & he didnāt treat you well. Staying for a child doesnāt make a marriage good or right. It becomes toxic.
#2- The Pisces canāt make you happy. Heās just a distraction & heāll never leave so kinda perfect. He is teaching you a lesson.
Okay another thing. It is time for you to learn how to love yourself, be okay with your emotions, learn that being alone does not equal lonely and depressed. Work on you, take care of you and find YOUR happiness not trying to find it in another person. Believe me I know!!
Also, show your daughter how to be strong not weak!
Hugs!!!
#1 - you were not stupid for leaving your husband. You were miserable & he didnāt treat you well. Staying for a child doesnāt make a marriage good or right. It becomes toxic.
#2- The Pisces canāt make you happy. Heās just a distraction & heāll never leave so kinda perfect. He is teaching you a lesson.
Okay another thing. It is time for you to learn how to love yourself, be okay with your emotions, learn that being alone does not equal lonely and depressed. Work on you, take care of you and find YOUR happiness not trying to find it in another person. Believe me I know!!
Also, show your daughter how to be strong not weak!
Hugs!!!
Posted by pooface222Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by pooface222Posted by LadyNeptune
But why is your only options your abusive ass ex Aries or your emotionally abusive side dick Pisces? There is a whole world full of dick (single dick!!) out there for the taking.
Instead of sitting in perpetual victim hood, own your choices.
You think your the only woman who wasted decade+ in an unhappy unfulfilled relationship/marriage? Of course not.
Itās only a waste if you donāt learn to choose yourself first. Until you can do so the universe will keep putting douches in your path for you to stumble over until you learn.
Staying tangled up with the Pisces only plays out the same way it has the last 7 years. Wanting him to stop the cycle because it no longer serves you is a fools errand. He will continue to do what is in his best interest always. You should take notes.
Canāt change the past. Canāt get that time back. But you can choose to not waste any more time to regrets.
I'll tell you why x
First of all, I come from a single parent family. My mum struggled emotionally and financially with me and my sister alone.
However..my mum and I don't get on. Another long story but not going into it. She has caused problems between me and my sister too.
So..
Keeping the Pisces Douchebag out of this, I never ever wanted to be a single parent myself.
I've never really know family life. My mum is very cold emotionally. And cruel.
So I kept staying in my marriage - and now REGRETTING going after the Pisces b**tard - because I love. My little girl SO. MUCH that I couldn't bear to lose half of her time due to divorce.
That's the first reason..my little girl x
Secondly...(above), Not wanting to be a single parent. Its HARD!
Thirdly (also above), I have never known family. I've never known mum and dad. A proper family unit. And although I don't want or need a 'father' for a partner, I was staying with my husband- and now want him back - because I'm longing for what I never had. Family š
Finally - I never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.
So only having fully realised these things now..I'm in a lot of pain!
I ALREADY THOUGHT of these above things in 2016 but these thoughts were deeply buried beneath Post-Natal Depression. Major Anxiety. My marriage falling apart and a new man on the scene.
I have made a HUGE MISTAKE now in throwing my security away for NOTHING basically!
And I'm missing my old life. Missing my husband and all his positive energy and drive for the future.
He's basically a spoilt brat.
Classic Aries to be honest.
If he doesn't get his own way he has Temper Tantrums!
But in more positive Aries fashion he was fun, funny, positive, energetic, worked towards the future. Showed his love in words and actions that MATCHED. Made me feel special.
Supported me in my work.
Gave me everything.
Pisces guy is stagnant. Wastes everyones time INCLUDING his own. A Liar. A Cheat. A User. Nothing is EVER HIS fault.
And worst of all he is a Parasite!
Feeds of Everyone for his own financial and personal gain - while cheating lying and using.
He actually makes me feel physically š¤¢š¤® now.
Sorry for the long reply x
Your mother was a solo parent. In that she had no help or support with your father not being in the picture.
You are a single parent not a solo parent like your mom. You arenāt doing this alone. Your ex is coparenting and as you say, it being painful and all, you are sharing custody of your daughter.
I find this bit a tad hypocritical of you, āI never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.ā
Didnāt you bring your child around the Pisces when you were still married? And if not, you certainly were planning to move in with him, providing he lived up to his empty promises, and play happy Brady bunch family. The pain of that to your ex didnāt seem to matter when the shoe is on the other foot.
I donāt want to berate you tho. Just once again reiterate that to heal you should let go of the past. What is done is done.
Looking back at your failed marriage with rose colored glasses because you miss the big house and all the material things that never kept you happy enough to stay in the marriage in the first place. Itās a pointless exercise.
Your wasting more energy and time regretting decisions you can never change.
I actually kept my child away from Pisces. He was so anti-kids when he came into my life.
It wasn't until she was about 3 that I had coffee with him when she was with me. He called me to have coffee and I had her with me.
What I'm trying to say is that there are many women who stay in marriages for the sake of the kids and the life they have.
That is me.
I'm feeling very sad that its all gone.
The life we had together was MORE THAN enough for me x (I'm not shouting by the way when I use capital letters).
I went outside the marriage because my husbands control became so HUGE I couldn't deal with him anymore.
Deep down I never stopped loving him.
Now its gone and I hate it!
Its very painful...click to expand
The semantics donāt matter. You actively planned a life with another man, while married. Those plans involved your child.
When you talk about the Pisces never taking accountability and always playing the victimā¦ do you see that you have similar traits?
You chose to divorce your husband. You were not happy. He was controlling yada yada yada. Bravo š
But your plans for a better life with a taken man fell through and now you regret and bemoan what you gave up.
So donāt phrase it as āthe life we had together was more than enough for meā and ānow itās gone and I hate itā.
You chose to look outside your marriage. You chose to have it be gone. Take accountability for your part.
Yes many women and men do stay in loveless marriages for the sake of the children. My parents were these. Itās a hell of a thing to tell your kids āwe were miserable but we did it for you guys to have a family unitā. Naw donāt put that on us.
Itās not healthy for parents to be in a toxic relationship. Itās not healthy for kids to be held as captive audiences to a toxic relationship.
You are divorced. Your 7 yr affair is going nowhere. Clinging to what was and what you wish would be is only causing you more pain. Self inflicted pain.
Posted by pooface222
I'll tell you why x
First of all, I come from a single parent family. My mum struggled emotionally and financially with me and my sister alone.
However..my mum and I don't get on. Another long story but not going into it. She has caused problems between me and my sister too.
So..
Keeping the Pisces Douchebag out of this, I never ever wanted to be a single parent myself.
I've never really know family life. My mum is very cold emotionally. And cruel.
So I kept staying in my marriage - and now REGRETTING going after the Pisces b**tard - because I love. My little girl SO. MUCH that I couldn't bear to lose half of her time due to divorce.
That's the first reason..my little girl x
Secondly...(above), Not wanting to be a single parent. Its HARD!
Thirdly (also above), I have never known family. I've never known mum and dad. A proper family unit. And although I don't want or need a 'father' for a partner, I was staying with my husband- and now want him back - because I'm longing for what I never had. Family š
Finally - I never wanted a strange woman around my child and suffering the pain of my child loving a woman who is not her mum.
So only having fully realised these things now..I'm in a lot of pain!
I ALREADY THOUGHT of these above things in 2016 but these thoughts were deeply buried beneath Post-Natal Depression. Major Anxiety. My marriage falling apart and a new man on the scene.
I have made a HUGE MISTAKE now in throwing my security away for NOTHING basically!
And I'm missing my old life. Missing my husband and all his positive energy and drive for the future.
He's basically a spoilt brat.
Classic Aries to be honest.
If he doesn't get his own way he has Temper Tantrums!
But in more positive Aries fashion he was fun, funny, positive, energetic, worked towards the future. Showed his love in words and actions that MATCHED. Made me feel special.
Supported me in my work.
Gave me everything.
Pisces guy is stagnant. Wastes everyones time INCLUDING his own. A Liar. A Cheat. A User. Nothing is EVER HIS fault.
And worst of all he is a Parasite!
Feeds of Everyone for his own financial and personal gain - while cheating lying and using.
He actually makes me feel physically š¤¢š¤® now.
Sorry for the long reply x
Sounds like you lack the ability to be alone---or don't believe you can be alone. Thing is, you're already doing it alone as hard as it is and you have yet to find strength or inner peace in that.
Find strength in the skills you have as a single mother no matter how small they are at the moment, as this will grow and continue to develop. The imaginary losses of your child's affection to some random step parent, and this sudden recognition and praise of you ex that was just the opposite of what you've described above both demonstrate a lack of esteem and confidence. You need to check that to avoid the risk of making (or continuing to make) poor choices in an effort to prop yourself up in unhealthy ways.
Posted by AbbyNormal
Funny youāre complaining about someone who doesnāt take responsibility for their own actionsā¦. You donāt think, idk, youāre attracting the same energy youāre putting out there?! It all starts with you and until you stop hyper-fixating on thisāyou will never heal yourself. But hey, Iāve read so much good stuff in this thread. I can see you donāt actually want help or you would be getting it in therapy.
*like*
Posted by pooface222Posted by virgoOPPPPosted by pooface222Posted by PhoenixRising
Seriously what the hell are you going on about? You drove him away because you showed too much emotion? Why on earth would you want to be with a man that can not handle your emotion? You are both dysfunctional. Here you are feeling slighted, upset, confused by his behaviour (not sure why tbh because it fits with his approach thus far...) and rather than discuss that and get it sorted so you can move forward, you're passively avoiding him, the subject, he's sulking like a selfish baby because he's "unaware" of why you're feeling less than your usual affectionate self and then you're whining about it over text to the point of getting blocked.
Jesus Christ. Get yourself sorted already.
I'm trying.
I'm in Therapy. And have been for almost a year.
There's a lot to get through in my head and heart.
The main part Now is wishing he had never come near me, and wishing I had patched up my marriage.
It would have been Far Easier than this Toxic Hell I've been swimming in!
My husband gave me Everything! We built a life together!
Pisces- beyond all his Deep, All-Consuming Emotion - gave me Nothing!
I'm living in a 2 bed flat. Only seeing my child half the time. And I have Depression.
Before..I was married. I had a family. A 4 bed house. We both had cars. Holidays every year that He Chose to pay for.
And he had a great sense of humour, fun, funny, passionate and a good provider.
And I really miss him now.
Hence..
I'm in therapy to sort this Hell out!
I felt
the aries sounds great. what happened? did he cheat? sorry i never really read much from you coz you usually have like one topic and i'm very mercurial.
as an earth sign, didn't you try to work things out? i held on to my relationship so tightly with a capricorn. are you guys just way too proud? what are his placements? and yours?
Hi ya x
Thank you for asking.
Its a long story which I wrote a post about, roughly 5yrs ago when I first joined dxp. So I'll get straight to the point.
First I'll answer your questions.
Did I try to work things out?
OMG YES! For Years. We met in 2003. Married in 2009 and by 2012 I wanted out of the marriage. Why? Controlling behaviour!
Very Controlling!
He would spoil entire weekends together at home by picking holes in everything I do round the house. Insults. Belittling. Trying to make me change to do things His way.
And because I refused to 'obey' he would either insult me and/or go behind my back and rearrange everything I've just done!
He would deny me sex when I wanted it.
Ok I understand that BOTH people have to want sex and I never expected him to just Jump to it and Perform..
BUT he NEVER responded when I came onto him for it. It made me lonely. So I gave up asking.
I ended up being in a horrible situation where we only had sex when HE wanted it!
And I just couldn't bring myself to start a conversation about our sex life because ut would likely erupt into an argument like everything else!
Now..
You asked about me "as an earth sign, didn't you try to work things out? "
Yes. All the time.
I would talk to him about how he speaks to me, how he treats me and how hurtful it is. He refused to accept that he's hurting me and would argue like hell to defend himself.
We got nowhere. His behaviour got worse!
He began to threaten me with..
Eg "If You Don't Do this, then I'll Do That!"
If I told him its not nice to treat someone in that way, he would Mock me using a mocking/sarcastic tone and call me a victim!
Err no I just don't want to be treated like that!
And that's a small snapshot of a bigger story.
He was Angel & Devil.
And I have given you a small snapshot of both sides of him.
I loved him to bits x
And always worked to hold on tight like you did.
But it seemed nothing was working.
I even told him I Don't want babies with you because we will end up getting divorced!
Aaaand...
Hey presto!
Its happened. His control reared its ugly head via Threat and here I am a single depressed mum.
But before you say..
"Why did you have a baby to fix the marriage??"
I didnt.
I worked on his controlling behaviour first. I began to work on changing how I AM around him - because talking didnt work.
Things got better.
So I had a baby with him.
So there it is.
Hope that explains things xclick to expand
Not really because now you are wishing you had this back. Other than a higher standard of living you didn't seem to be happier with the Aries. Have you thought that maybe you need to be alone for a while and put ALL of your energy into your child?
Posted by GammaArietisPosted by Wizardz_
Get on your knees and beg for him to take you back?
I really doubt that would work with an Aries.click to expand
Yeah and it sounds like the Aries has already moved another woman in who his kid likes which makes her even more appealing in his eyes.
I agree Pooface that if your life was really as beautiful as you say you never would have cheated on Aries to be with Pisces but would have tried other ways to make it work. Instead you are putting the blame on Aries for your cheating. Now that he has another woman moved in that your child likes you are bitter about losing him. Maybe it's good for you to be alone for a while so you can become stronger.
Posted by DonnaLibraPosted by GammaArietisPosted by Wizardz_
Get on your knees and beg for him to take you back?
I really doubt that would work with an Aries.
Yeah and it sounds like the Aries has already moved another woman in who his kid likes which makes her even more appealing in his eyes.
I agree Pooface if your life with Aries was beautiful and all you needed you never would have cheated on him to be with Pisces. You are not raising your child alone the way many others are but still have the help and financial backing of your ex to help you. You just don't want to be alone but it sounds like that is what you need in order to grow stronger.click to expand
Are you a Virgo lady?
Posted by pisceanlovesPosted by KimboSlice
The military time really carries the suspense for this tragic novella
Explain.click to expand
I don't understand that either.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?click to expand
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
You can't fix anything or anyone but yourself. Concentrate on your own therapy. Keep the best relationship you can with your daughter. You don't need either of those men and you can't go back in time. Make tomorrow count for something, yesterday is gone.
Posted by DonnaLibraPosted by GammaArietisPosted by Wizardz_
Get on your knees and beg for him to take you back?
I really doubt that would work with an Aries.
Yeah and it sounds like the Aries has already moved another woman in who his kid likes which makes her even more appealing in his eyes.
I agree Pooface that if your life was really as beautiful as you say you never would have cheated on Aries to be with Pisces but would have tried other ways to make it work. Instead you are putting the blame on Aries for your cheating. Now that he has another woman moved in that your child likes you are bitter about losing him. Maybe it's good for you to be alone for a while so you can become stronger.click to expand
You are not understanding me.
I always loved my husband.
But..he is very extreme. He was wonderful in many ways. However being so controlling it meant that once I had a baby, I REALLY put my foot down FIRMLY by saying NO to him more forcefully than I had ever done before pregnancy.
He was having none of it.
Being a classic Aries male he threw all his toys out of his pram, had a HUGE Tantrum and Threatened me with taking our baby from me and leaving me!
That was it for me!
His control had escalated and gone Out of control because he iused THREAT to get his way with me!
Therefore his Threats turned him into a Monster! His control had spiralled Out of control and so I was Done!
However..it was his Control I didn't love! I should never have had to go through ANY of his hell!
I should have been enjoying being a first time mum, with my husband supporting me and also enjoying being a first time parent!
Instead he fought with me daily t force me to obey his demands!
So..
What I'm trying to say on here is that his control ECLIPSED our entire relationship and became Bigger than my Love for him!
He became a monster.
I couldn't love someone who Threatened me when I'd just had a baby! Its supposed to be a wonderful and special time,for a couple.
He destroyed that! Screaming at me daily like a f**king CHILD who Refuses to take No for an answer!
Making me forget EVERYTHING I ever loved about him in the first place! And that's what happened!
I forgot. everything I loved about him!
His Control turned him into a monster. I no longer knew him anymore.
My whole entire life had just changed as I was learning how to be a Mum. So i should not have had to go through any if that.
I just wanted to get back to being the couple we were before pregnancy.
But sadly at the time I felt too exhausted and scared and post-natal to cope with him..
I kept telling him "I just want to be Us again."
I was craving the fun funny positive affectionate Aries guy I fell in love with.
But all his screaming and threats meant that all I saw in front of me was a monster.
Hence i could not love a monster!
So the Pisces guy happened!
In contrast the Pisces was calm quiet gentle soothing and loving.
I needed to be soothed. And loved. And cared for. He did all of that without even knowing he was doing it.
So yes! I fell deeply in love with a man who soothed me from the pain if my husband. And cared for me at a delicate time where my husband failed!
EMOTIONALLY!
I no longer wanted a spoilt man-child who once I had a baby couldn't care for me.
My life had completely changed and I couldn't love my husband anymore.
I didn't consider therapy and now I wish I had! 5yrs ago when I first joined DXP!
I was *exhausted, depressed, lonely, deeply insecure with his threats, scared, had major anxiety, and felt screwed up every day when I should have been feeling happy and relaxed.
I just needed reminding of the love i always had for him.
And I wanted my husband to remind me.
Instead I had a screaming threatening monster in front of me.
I should have got counselling for me and him.
But with a tiny baby to care for I felt I was done with him due to feeling like this*
I'm ordinarily really against giving advice. But I really think you would benefit from talking to a counselor. What you're describing is abuse, and I think you might benefit from a professional perspective. Also, there is a very, very good chance that there is an agency, shelter or something similar in your community that will offer that counseling to you for free.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.click to expand
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Posted by Seajatt
I'm ordinarily really against giving advice. But I really think you would benefit from talking to a counselor. What you're describing is abuse, and I think you might benefit from a professional perspective. Also, there is a very, very good chance that there is an agency, shelter or something similar in your community that will offer that counseling to you for free.
Thank you so much. Really appreciate you saying that. I felt abused. Emotionally abused! I was very scared of him and didn't know him anymore.
I have been in therapy on and off for 5yrs but for me and my husband which I now wish I'd done.
I will look into free therapy etc.
Thank again x
Posted by pooface222Posted by Seajatt
I'm ordinarily really against giving advice. But I really think you would benefit from talking to a counselor. What you're describing is abuse, and I think you might benefit from a professional perspective. Also, there is a very, very good chance that there is an agency, shelter or something similar in your community that will offer that counseling to you for free.
Thank you so much. Really appreciate you saying that. I felt abused. Emotionally abused! I was very scared of him and didn't know him anymore.
I have been in therapy on and off for 5yrs but for me and my husband which I now wish I'd done.
I will look into free therapy etc.
Thank again xclick to expand
I wish you the best of luck!
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Many people romanticize the past or think that it was better than their present moments. We could have even taken our past lives (current life lived in decades) for granted. Your past is only there to broaden your perspective, thatās it. It was not better than your present moment, in reality. Look at what you wrote about your ex husband ā you two were a mismatch.click to expand
I think my past was better.
ā¢ Because I'm a,Single mum - didn't want that.
ā¢ I'm even more lonely than being married! - Definitely didnt want that!
ā¢ I only have my child 50% of the time - it rips my heart to pieces.
ā¢ I have another woman around my child - I HATE that!
I miss him making me laugh every day randomly out of nowhere. It was so fun.
I miss his cuddles. On the sofa. In bed before falling asleep, and in the morning when we woke up.
I miss him being there for me when I'm feeling insecure about stuff. I'm a Capricorn so we can get REALLY DOWN about our Worries! My husband always picked me up emotionally and made me laugh when I felt down.
He did lots of little things for me that meant he could spend more time with me.
He did anything to make life easier for me. Little things. Big things.
For example, if something needed fixing on my car, he would fix whatever he Could fix - he's not a mechanic but is very good at diy and good with mending stuff - so that when I got to the garage the cost of the repair was cheaper because he has fixed 1 or 2 things first.
It might sound like nothing to most of you on here but to me it was cute, attractive, and manly. And I loved him for it.
There are loads of other things he did but I'm not going to list everything..but there were a lot of things he did that made me happy.
On top of that he shopped and cooked and cleaned. We both did. I didn't sit there lazy while he did it all.
It was shared.
I'm just pointing out that he did those things. One more example is that on a Saturday before pregnancy, he would drive me to the gym and drop me off and 9.15am ready to teach my class at 9.30am.
While he was gone he would do the weekly shop, go home, put it all away, do any housework that needed doing.
Then he'd come back to the gym to pick me up, and wed go home together. I walked into our house to find everything done while I've been teaching šš
I never asked him to do any of this. He just did it.
So by the same token, if he was out at a work function on a friday night, I would also get everything done and ready for him coming home so he can come back and relax etc.
Its normality I'm talking about. The day to day.
This all may sound BORING AF but its the day to day life with my husband I was craving.
NORMALITY. The life we had together.
Iām glad youāre no longer talking about the Pisces. Heās a piece of shit and youāre better off without him.
Itās normal to reflect on our past mistakes, thatās how we learn and move forward. Appreciating the good points about your ex is a great way to determine what youāll need out of a relationship to move forward. Perhaps you will manifest what youāre looking for in the present and future.
It sounds like you need consistency, stability and someone who takes some responsibility within the relationship. I was with a Pisces for years after my divorce and he was dreamy and romantic and promised me the world. His actions were flaky, irresponsible and selfish. Lesson learned.
Itās unreasonable to believe your first year of motherhood should or would have been happy and relaxing, especially if you were postpartum. When you become a mother, you are rewiring who you are as a person, who you are within your relationship, not just caring for a new life. Itās a rollercoaster of emotion and relaxed is not how most would describe it.
Aries are very intuitive, way more than they are generally given credit for. If you were having an emotional affair or your interest was elsewhere, Aries energy is going to pick up on that. It may have been he became increasingly controlling as he felt you slipping away. They are loyal when committed, for the most part. A betrayal cuts deep and can make them crazy.
Most of the time your posts are full of victimhood but itās nice to see you taking some accountability for your situation. Have you ever apologized to your ex, or thanked him for all the things youāve mentioned here? Maybe you should try that. Not to get him backā¦ but as a way to put it all out there so you can heal and move forward with a more amicable relationship.
I know quite a few Aries men irl. They are very forgiving, great friends and supports to their current and ex partners.
Itās normal to reflect on our past mistakes, thatās how we learn and move forward. Appreciating the good points about your ex is a great way to determine what youāll need out of a relationship to move forward. Perhaps you will manifest what youāre looking for in the present and future.
It sounds like you need consistency, stability and someone who takes some responsibility within the relationship. I was with a Pisces for years after my divorce and he was dreamy and romantic and promised me the world. His actions were flaky, irresponsible and selfish. Lesson learned.
Itās unreasonable to believe your first year of motherhood should or would have been happy and relaxing, especially if you were postpartum. When you become a mother, you are rewiring who you are as a person, who you are within your relationship, not just caring for a new life. Itās a rollercoaster of emotion and relaxed is not how most would describe it.
Aries are very intuitive, way more than they are generally given credit for. If you were having an emotional affair or your interest was elsewhere, Aries energy is going to pick up on that. It may have been he became increasingly controlling as he felt you slipping away. They are loyal when committed, for the most part. A betrayal cuts deep and can make them crazy.
Most of the time your posts are full of victimhood but itās nice to see you taking some accountability for your situation. Have you ever apologized to your ex, or thanked him for all the things youāve mentioned here? Maybe you should try that. Not to get him backā¦ but as a way to put it all out there so you can heal and move forward with a more amicable relationship.
I know quite a few Aries men irl. They are very forgiving, great friends and supports to their current and ex partners.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Many people romanticize the past or think that it was better than their present moments. We could have even taken our past lives (current life lived in decades) for granted. Your past is only there to broaden your perspective, thatās it. It was not better than your present moment, in reality. Look at what you wrote about your ex husband ā you two were a mismatch.
I think my past was better.
ā¢ Because I'm a,Single mum - didn't want that.
ā¢ I'm even more lonely than being married! - Definitely didnt want that!
ā¢ I only have my child 50% of the time - it rips my heart to pieces.
ā¢ I have another woman around my child - I HATE that!
I miss him making me laugh every day randomly out of nowhere. It was so fun.
I miss his cuddles. On the sofa. In bed before falling asleep, and in the morning when we woke up.
I miss him being there for me when I'm feeling insecure about stuff. I'm a Capricorn so we can get REALLY DOWN about our Worries! My husband always picked me up emotionally and made me laugh when I felt down.
He did lots of little things for me that meant he could spend more time with me.
He did anything to make life easier for me. Little things. Big things.
For example, if something needed fixing on my car, he would fix whatever he Could fix - he's not a mechanic but is very good at diy and good with mending stuff - so that when I got to the garage the cost of the repair was cheaper because he has fixed 1 or 2 things first.
It might sound like nothing to most of you on here but to me it was cute, attractive, and manly. And I loved him for it.
There are loads of other things he did but I'm not going to list everything..but there were a lot of things he did that made me happy.
On top of that he shopped and cooked and cleaned. We both did. I didn't sit there lazy while he did it all.
It was shared.
I'm just pointing out that he did those things. One more example is that on a Saturday before pregnancy, he would drive me to the gym and drop me off and 9.15am ready to teach my class at 9.30am.
While he was gone he would do the weekly shop, go home, put it all away, do any housework that needed doing.
Then he'd come back to the gym to pick me up, and wed go home together. I walked into our house to find everything done while I've been teaching šš
I never asked him to do any of this. He just did it.
So by the same token, if he was out at a work function on a friday night, I would also get everything done and ready for him coming home so he can come back and relax etc.
Its normality I'm talking about. The day to day.
This all may sound BORING AF but its the day to day life with my husband I was craving.
NORMALITY. The life we had together.
How long were you two together and how long have you been broken up?click to expand
Why do you ask?
Its hard to say when we broke up.
He booked a holiday to Centre Parcs in Nov 2016 to try and save our marriage. I may have mentioned this on this,thread. But he spent the entire 5 days with his Mouth SHUT!
Even when I spoke to him.
It caused arguments while we were there. It basically destroyed any chance of our marriage being repaired.
It was the last time we were in bed together.
I was angry with him every night and lay there ranting at him (while he lay there in Silence AGAIN!), It was out of frustration with him being silent every day. It drove me nuts!
Anyway..frighteningly 8 months later, July 2017 I received Divorce papers!
All I wanted from my husband was words of love. To let me know VERBALLY he cares for me and loves me.
His Silence drove me CRAAAAZY!
Made worse by having to hold my pain in all day because our 2 1/2 year old was there so I couldn't say anything. I just chatted normally about what we were doing. Eg having dinner "how's your meal? Mines delicious. Would you like some?"
Silence! It was painful! And heart-breaking as our little girl was happy smiling and babbling away oblivious to the situation.
So to answer your question simply..
I guess it was over from July 2017.
But then I guess it was truly over, once I moved out of the family home in June 2020 - during Covid.
That's when it truly sunk it that its over.
Deep down I never wanted this..divorce etc.
I wanted what I being saying in my recent thread here.
So now I'm heartbroken and full of regret.
Hence..I've been in therapy for about 2yrs.
I just want my old life back.
But it's gone š
And I never arranged Couple Therapy.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Many people romanticize the past or think that it was better than their present moments. We could have even taken our past lives (current life lived in decades) for granted. Your past is only there to broaden your perspective, thatās it. It was not better than your present moment, in reality. Look at what you wrote about your ex husband ā you two were a mismatch.
I think my past was better.
ā¢ Because I'm a,Single mum - didn't want that.
ā¢ I'm even more lonely than being married! - Definitely didnt want that!
ā¢ I only have my child 50% of the time - it rips my heart to pieces.
ā¢ I have another woman around my child - I HATE that!
I miss him making me laugh every day randomly out of nowhere. It was so fun.
I miss his cuddles. On the sofa. In bed before falling asleep, and in the morning when we woke up.
I miss him being there for me when I'm feeling insecure about stuff. I'm a Capricorn so we can get REALLY DOWN about our Worries! My husband always picked me up emotionally and made me laugh when I felt down.
He did lots of little things for me that meant he could spend more time with me.
He did anything to make life easier for me. Little things. Big things.
For example, if something needed fixing on my car, he would fix whatever he Could fix - he's not a mechanic but is very good at diy and good with mending stuff - so that when I got to the garage the cost of the repair was cheaper because he has fixed 1 or 2 things first.
It might sound like nothing to most of you on here but to me it was cute, attractive, and manly. And I loved him for it.
There are loads of other things he did but I'm not going to list everything..but there were a lot of things he did that made me happy.
On top of that he shopped and cooked and cleaned. We both did. I didn't sit there lazy while he did it all.
It was shared.
I'm just pointing out that he did those things. One more example is that on a Saturday before pregnancy, he would drive me to the gym and drop me off and 9.15am ready to teach my class at 9.30am.
While he was gone he would do the weekly shop, go home, put it all away, do any housework that needed doing.
Then he'd come back to the gym to pick me up, and wed go home together. I walked into our house to find everything done while I've been teaching šš
I never asked him to do any of this. He just did it.
So by the same token, if he was out at a work function on a friday night, I would also get everything done and ready for him coming home so he can come back and relax etc.
Its normality I'm talking about. The day to day.
This all may sound BORING AF but its the day to day life with my husband I was craving.
NORMALITY. The life we had together.
How long were you two together and how long have you been broken up?click to expand
We met in August 2003. We would have been together 18yrs by now.
Posted by pooface222Posted by DonnaLibraPosted by GammaArietisPosted by Wizardz_
Get on your knees and beg for him to take you back?
I really doubt that would work with an Aries.
Yeah and it sounds like the Aries has already moved another woman in who his kid likes which makes her even more appealing in his eyes.
I agree Pooface that if your life was really as beautiful as you say you never would have cheated on Aries to be with Pisces but would have tried other ways to make it work. Instead you are putting the blame on Aries for your cheating. Now that he has another woman moved in that your child likes you are bitter about losing him. Maybe it's good for you to be alone for a while so you can become stronger.
You are not understanding me.
I always loved my husband.
But..he is very extreme. He was wonderful in many ways. However being so controlling it meant that once I had a baby, I REALLY put my foot down FIRMLY by saying NO to him more forcefully than I had ever done before pregnancy.
He was having none of it.
Being a classic Aries male he threw all his toys out of his pram, had a HUGE Tantrum and Threatened me with taking our baby from me and leaving me!
That was it for me!
His control had escalated and gone Out of control because he iused THREAT to get his way with me!
Therefore his Threats turned him into a Monster! His control had spiralled Out of control and so I was Done!
However..it was his Control I didn't love! I should never have had to go through ANY of his hell!
I should have been enjoying being a first time mum, with my husband supporting me and also enjoying being a first time parent!
Instead he fought with me daily t force me to obey his demands!
So..
What I'm trying to say on here is that his control ECLIPSED our entire relationship and became Bigger than my Love for him!
He became a monster.
I couldn't love someone who Threatened me when I'd just had a baby! Its supposed to be a wonderful and special time,for a couple.
He destroyed that! Screaming at me daily like a f**king CHILD who Refuses to take No for an answer!
Making me forget EVERYTHING I ever loved about him in the first place! And that's what happened!
I forgot. everything I loved about him!
His Control turned him into a monster. I no longer knew him anymore.
My whole entire life had just changed as I was learning how to be a Mum. So i should not have had to go through any if that.
I just wanted to get back to being the couple we were before pregnancy.
But sadly at the time I felt too exhausted and scared and post-natal to cope with him..
I kept telling him "I just want to be Us again."
I was craving the fun funny positive affectionate Aries guy I fell in love with.
But all his screaming and threats meant that all I saw in front of me was a monster.
Hence i could not love a monster!
So the Pisces guy happened!
In contrast the Pisces was calm quiet gentle soothing and loving.
I needed to be soothed. And loved. And cared for. He did all of that without even knowing he was doing it.
So yes! I fell deeply in love with a man who soothed me from the pain if my husband. And cared for me at a delicate time where my husband failed!
EMOTIONALLY!
I no longer wanted a spoilt man-child who once I had a baby couldn't care for me.
My life had completely changed and I couldn't love my husband anymore.
I didn't consider therapy and now I wish I had! 5yrs ago when I first joined DXP!
I was *exhausted, depressed, lonely, deeply insecure with his threats, scared, had major anxiety, and felt screwed up every day when I should have been feeling happy and relaxed.
I just needed reminding of the love i always had for him.
And I wanted my husband to remind me.
Instead I had a screaming threatening monster in front of me.
I should have got counselling for me and him.
But with a tiny baby to care for I felt I was done with him due to feeling like this*click to expand
I'm sorry you're hurt but you are blaming your choice to have an affair on your husband's actions and that's not fair. All marriages go through trying times and people say things to each other they wish they hadn't or do things they wish they had not. None of us are perfect. Your husband was also a father for the first time and possibly needed support and understanding as well. You go on and on about what he did for you in the marriage but nothing about what you did for him that made you an outstanding wife. I realize people fall out of love and in love with others and that is what marriage counseling and divorce is for IMO. Did the Aries cheat on you during your pregnancy and after the baby was born? I'm sorry you are reaping the consequences of your actions but be thankful his new woman is kind to your daughter and treats her good. It sounds like you've leaned on men so much that you feel you need one to be whole. You do not. You are stronger than you know. Just rebuild your life the best you can. Isn't there an age where your daughter can decide which parent she wants to live with? You can still have your daughter under your roof later on. You're going to be okay.
you're from europe? I could tell there was something weird in the vibe. Are you from germany?
It's important for my mental theater
It's important for my mental theater
You need help. You don't need a man right now. You need friends, hobbies, activities.
You need to find yourself, and when you find her - everything will fall into place.
Everything will be alright, take care of yourself.
You need to find yourself, and when you find her - everything will fall into place.
Everything will be alright, take care of yourself.
Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Many people romanticize the past or think that it was better than their present moments. We could have even taken our past lives (current life lived in decades) for granted. Your past is only there to broaden your perspective, thatās it. It was not better than your present moment, in reality. Look at what you wrote about your ex husband ā you two were a mismatch.
I think my past was better.
ā¢ Because I'm a,Single mum - didn't want that.
ā¢ I'm even more lonely than being married! - Definitely didnt want that!
ā¢ I only have my child 50% of the time - it rips my heart to pieces.
ā¢ I have another woman around my child - I HATE that!
I miss him making me laugh every day randomly out of nowhere. It was so fun.
I miss his cuddles. On the sofa. In bed before falling asleep, and in the morning when we woke up.
I miss him being there for me when I'm feeling insecure about stuff. I'm a Capricorn so we can get REALLY DOWN about our Worries! My husband always picked me up emotionally and made me laugh when I felt down.
He did lots of little things for me that meant he could spend more time with me.
He did anything to make life easier for me. Little things. Big things.
For example, if something needed fixing on my car, he would fix whatever he Could fix - he's not a mechanic but is very good at diy and good with mending stuff - so that when I got to the garage the cost of the repair was cheaper because he has fixed 1 or 2 things first.
It might sound like nothing to most of you on here but to me it was cute, attractive, and manly. And I loved him for it.
There are loads of other things he did but I'm not going to list everything..but there were a lot of things he did that made me happy.
On top of that he shopped and cooked and cleaned. We both did. I didn't sit there lazy while he did it all.
It was shared.
I'm just pointing out that he did those things. One more example is that on a Saturday before pregnancy, he would drive me to the gym and drop me off and 9.15am ready to teach my class at 9.30am.
While he was gone he would do the weekly shop, go home, put it all away, do any housework that needed doing.
Then he'd come back to the gym to pick me up, and wed go home together. I walked into our house to find everything done while I've been teaching šš
I never asked him to do any of this. He just did it.
So by the same token, if he was out at a work function on a friday night, I would also get everything done and ready for him coming home so he can come back and relax etc.
Its normality I'm talking about. The day to day.
This all may sound BORING AF but its the day to day life with my husband I was craving.
NORMALITY. The life we had together.
How long were you two together and how long have you been broken up?
Why do you ask?
Its hard to say when we broke up.
He booked a holiday to Centre Parcs in Nov 2016 to try and save our marriage. I may have mentioned this on this,thread. But he spent the entire 5 days with his Mouth SHUT!
Even when I spoke to him.
It caused arguments while we were there. It basically destroyed any chance of our marriage being repaired.
It was the last time we were in bed together.
I was angry with him every night and lay there ranting at him (while he lay there in Silence AGAIN!), It was out of frustration with him being silent every day. It drove me nuts!
Anyway..frighteningly 8 months later, July 2017 I received Divorce papers!
All I wanted from my husband was words of love. To let me know VERBALLY he cares for me and loves me.
His Silence drove me CRAAAAZY!
Made worse by having to hold my pain in all day because our 2 1/2 year old was there so I couldn't say anything. I just chatted normally about what we were doing. Eg having dinner "how's your meal? Mines delicious. Would you like some?"
Silence! It was painful! And heart-breaking as our little girl was happy smiling and babbling away oblivious to the situation.
So to answer your question simply..
I guess it was over from July 2017.
But then I guess it was truly over, once I moved out of the family home in June 2020 - during Covid.
That's when it truly sunk it that its over.
Deep down I never wanted this..divorce etc.
I wanted what I being saying in my recent thread here.
So now I'm heartbroken and full of regret.
Hence..I've been in therapy for about 2yrs.
I just want my old life back.
But it's gone š
And I never arranged Couple Therapy.click to expand
itĀ“s as if youĀ“re comparing the pest with cholera .....
in light of your current status anything, even crumbs seem attractive.
i really hope you are able to extract yourself from both scenarios ....gain some clarity, and work on yourself. or at least meet somebody whom you can see eye to eye with.
edit: just wanted to add that at this point, we are BEYOND astrology, now. it plays no role at all.
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Many people romanticize the past or think that it was better than their present moments. We could have even taken our past lives (current life lived in decades) for granted. Your past is only there to broaden your perspective, thatās it. It was not better than your present moment, in reality. Look at what you wrote about your ex husband ā you two were a mismatch.
I think my past was better.
ā¢ Because I'm a,Single mum - didn't want that.
ā¢ I'm even more lonely than being married! - Definitely didnt want that!
ā¢ I only have my child 50% of the time - it rips my heart to pieces.
ā¢ I have another woman around my child - I HATE that!
I miss him making me laugh every day randomly out of nowhere. It was so fun.
I miss his cuddles. On the sofa. In bed before falling asleep, and in the morning when we woke up.
I miss him being there for me when I'm feeling insecure about stuff. I'm a Capricorn so we can get REALLY DOWN about our Worries! My husband always picked me up emotionally and made me laugh when I felt down.
He did lots of little things for me that meant he could spend more time with me.
He did anything to make life easier for me. Little things. Big things.
For example, if something needed fixing on my car, he would fix whatever he Could fix - he's not a mechanic but is very good at diy and good with mending stuff - so that when I got to the garage the cost of the repair was cheaper because he has fixed 1 or 2 things first.
It might sound like nothing to most of you on here but to me it was cute, attractive, and manly. And I loved him for it.
There are loads of other things he did but I'm not going to list everything..but there were a lot of things he did that made me happy.
On top of that he shopped and cooked and cleaned. We both did. I didn't sit there lazy while he did it all.
It was shared.
I'm just pointing out that he did those things. One more example is that on a Saturday before pregnancy, he would drive me to the gym and drop me off and 9.15am ready to teach my class at 9.30am.
While he was gone he would do the weekly shop, go home, put it all away, do any housework that needed doing.
Then he'd come back to the gym to pick me up, and wed go home together. I walked into our house to find everything done while I've been teaching šš
I never asked him to do any of this. He just did it.
So by the same token, if he was out at a work function on a friday night, I would also get everything done and ready for him coming home so he can come back and relax etc.
Its normality I'm talking about. The day to day.
This all may sound BORING AF but its the day to day life with my husband I was craving.
NORMALITY. The life we had together.
How long were you two together and how long have you been broken up?
Why do you ask?
Its hard to say when we broke up.
He booked a holiday to Centre Parcs in Nov 2016 to try and save our marriage. I may have mentioned this on this,thread. But he spent the entire 5 days with his Mouth SHUT!
Even when I spoke to him.
It caused arguments while we were there. It basically destroyed any chance of our marriage being repaired.
It was the last time we were in bed together.
I was angry with him every night and lay there ranting at him (while he lay there in Silence AGAIN!), It was out of frustration with him being silent every day. It drove me nuts!
Anyway..frighteningly 8 months later, July 2017 I received Divorce papers!
All I wanted from my husband was words of love. To let me know VERBALLY he cares for me and loves me.
His Silence drove me CRAAAAZY!
Made worse by having to hold my pain in all day because our 2 1/2 year old was there so I couldn't say anything. I just chatted normally about what we were doing. Eg having dinner "how's your meal? Mines delicious. Would you like some?"
Silence! It was painful! And heart-breaking as our little girl was happy smiling and babbling away oblivious to the situation.
So to answer your question simply..
I guess it was over from July 2017.
But then I guess it was truly over, once I moved out of the family home in June 2020 - during Covid.
That's when it truly sunk it that its over.
Deep down I never wanted this..divorce etc.
I wanted what I being saying in my recent thread here.
So now I'm heartbroken and full of regret.
Hence..I've been in therapy for about 2yrs.
I just want my old life back.
But it's gone š
And I never arranged Couple Therapy.
It seems fresh.
Aries silence - maybe he was trying to process things and evaluate. He also may have been putting thick walls up to you. Not excusing the behavior, just giving insight. If it drove you nuts and made you act out more ā walls would have been put up. Some people misconstrue it as not caring, but it is instinct, self protection, and self preservation that takes over.click to expand
In a weird kind of way it Is fresh.
The divorce finalised Dec2019.
But i only moved house (after divorce), in June 2020.
Posted by pisceanloves
You need help. You don't need a man right now. You need friends, hobbies, activities.
You need to find yourself, and when you find her - everything will fall into place.
Everything will be alright, take care of yourself.
Hi
Thank you x
I'm trying. For example I like rollerskating while listening to music.
I'm thinking of taking up ice-skating just because its fun.
I already know who I am but sadly I became lost when I had my baby girl.
Everything went wrong in my marriage.
One of the most important things Iāve learned in life is how to be grateful. It was extremely important after I left my husband. See because the sadness drags you so far down, itās hard to breathe sometimes. Itās hard to remember there are good things. But a grateful practice helps you realize all the good things you have in this world, instead of dwelling on the bad. I mean I know youāre a Capricorn but you need to try it. I used to make a list of 10 things I was grateful for everyday. You know itās amazing there are always things no matter how bad your life is! It really helps to change your focus. Iād say thatās what you need ā¦ to change your focus. Focus on the good instead of the bad. Life will get better!
Posted by Amazing
No offense but Idk how women can deal with water sign men. š¤¢
You are right.
I love them. Except Scorpios though.
But I find I end up wishing Id never net them!
What's your sign?
Posted by AmazingPosted by pooface222Posted by Amazing
No offense but Idk how women can deal with water sign men. š¤¢
You are right.
I love them. Except Scorpios though.
But I find I end up wishing Id never net them!
What's your sign?
Frankly agree, theyāre my least hated personally but theyāre still horrible. Iām a scorpio myself. šclick to expand
Aarrgghh! Sorry x
My best friend is Scorpio and I love her! She's amazing!
I had one Scorpio boyfriend. He was my first love. Never again. I was 20 though. I'm a lot older than 20 now lol so who knows??
Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by IMNOTEVENREAL
Whatās your rising
Is the Rising sign the Asc?
I'm on Cafe Astrology and it says Asc.
If so then my Rising is Gemini.
What does that mean for me then?
You previously said Aries was your rising sign?
Yeah that's true. I don't know where Aries Ascendanr came from. Maybe I typed in wrong info somehow because it now says Gemini.
Its on Cafe Astrology.
Think I'll go back and try again.
I think it is Gemini as well. Thereās no way Aries energy would have stayed in this situation for as long as you have.
Also, most Cap women would not put up with this shit and would have walked moving on. I know this is true of my beautiful Cap niece.
I could also swear that you wrote that your husband left you and called the police on you. Hopefully, you got out of the charge unscathed and fought it?
Sadly no.
I did not come out unscathed. I had a SH*T lawyer who looked and spoke like she had just left university that day and I got burned.
She told me to plead Guilty or I would be in deeper trouble.
4 years after that day, I WANT to fight it.
I should have realised what he was like.
Everytime we had an argument, he took everything further. Never backing down! Ever!
One-Upmanship!
I used to worry that in the future he would take things to Court.
And he did.
All I can say is, I wish Id stayed with my husband before the police etc because I could have protected my child from him.
I can't now. Its 50/50 Custody and I really can't move forward.
I miss my little girl like Hell!
I Hate being a single mum.
I hate my little girl around another woman - I never wanted that especially!
And having never had a family, I regret not fixing things and giving our marriage another chance and giving our Family a chance.
See what happens.
Maybe the shock of losing me to another man Woke my husband Up!
Sometimes it takes a Wake Up call to make us realise what matters!
Sadly for me ..having spent so long shutting myself away emotionally etc from my husband caused him to divorce me.
It wasn't the Pisces guy that caused him to divorce me because in order to divorce for adultery you have to do it within 6 months of finding out.
It was well over a year after he found out.
It was receiving my divorce papers that Woke Me up!
Then the regret set in.
But..as my therapist told me "your husband is emotionally undeveloped. He can't cope emotionally. He was never going to open his mouth and say he Misses you etc because he Couldn't."
So it was Me all along who had to fix this.
And now i can't.
Its all gone.
And I miss my little girl š„
I should have arranged Couple Therapy 5yrs ago when the Pisces douchebag was pushing me to leave my husband but put Zero effort into building a life with me.
I am a F**KING STUPID IDIOT!
The best defense attorneys are defense attorneys who have worked as prosecutors before.
It sounds like you have some regrets and seriously, life is too short to be living with regrets. You can die tomorrow. So whatā¦ you made some mistakes in your decisions/choices. We all have. We all live and learn. Hindsight is much better than foresight.
You sound like a Cap woman I knowā¦ she beats up on herself for working under the table for many years and not paying taxes/paying into social security, and not having a retirement. Sheās stuck in a weird ass relationship unable to leave because of it. Things could be a lot worse for you. Stop beating up on yourself.
I'm glad you said that about Caps beating themselves up.
I can't stop. I can try yes. But i miss my old life and the pain of only having my child 50% of the time hurts like hell!
Many people romanticize the past or think that it was better than their present moments. We could have even taken our past lives (current life lived in decades) for granted. Your past is only there to broaden your perspective, thatās it. It was not better than your present moment, in reality. Look at what you wrote about your ex husband ā you two were a mismatch.
I think my past was better.
ā¢ Because I'm a,Single mum - didn't want that.
ā¢ I'm even more lonely than being married! - Definitely didnt want that!
ā¢ I only have my child 50% of the time - it rips my heart to pieces.
ā¢ I have another woman around my child - I HATE that!
I miss him making me laugh every day randomly out of nowhere. It was so fun.
I miss his cuddles. On the sofa. In bed before falling asleep, and in the morning when we woke up.
I miss him being there for me when I'm feeling insecure about stuff. I'm a Capricorn so we can get REALLY DOWN about our Worries! My husband always picked me up emotionally and made me laugh when I felt down.
He did lots of little things for me that meant he could spend more time with me.
He did anything to make life easier for me. Little things. Big things.
For example, if something needed fixing on my car, he would fix whatever he Could fix - he's not a mechanic but is very good at diy and good with mending stuff - so that when I got to the garage the cost of the repair was cheaper because he has fixed 1 or 2 things first.
It might sound like nothing to most of you on here but to me it was cute, attractive, and manly. And I loved him for it.
There are loads of other things he did but I'm not going to list everything..but there were a lot of things he did that made me happy.
On top of that he shopped and cooked and cleaned. We both did. I didn't sit there lazy while he did it all.
It was shared.
I'm just pointing out that he did those things. One more example is that on a Saturday before pregnancy, he would drive me to the gym and drop me off and 9.15am ready to teach my class at 9.30am.
While he was gone he would do the weekly shop, go home, put it all away, do any housework that needed doing.
Then he'd come back to the gym to pick me up, and wed go home together. I walked into our house to find everything done while I've been teaching šš
I never asked him to do any of this. He just did it.
So by the same token, if he was out at a work function on a friday night, I would also get everything done and ready for him coming home so he can come back and relax etc.
Its normality I'm talking about. The day to day.
This all may sound BORING AF but its the day to day life with my husband I was craving.
NORMALITY. The life we had together.
How long were you two together and how long have you been broken up?
Why do you ask?
Its hard to say when we broke up.
He booked a holiday to Centre Parcs in Nov 2016 to try and save our marriage. I may have mentioned this on this,thread. But he spent the entire 5 days with his Mouth SHUT!
Even when I spoke to him.
It caused arguments while we were there. It basically destroyed any chance of our marriage being repaired.
It was the last time we were in bed together.
I was angry with him every night and lay there ranting at him (while he lay there in Silence AGAIN!), It was out of frustration with him being silent every day. It drove me nuts!
Anyway..frighteningly 8 months later, July 2017 I received Divorce papers!
All I wanted from my husband was words of love. To let me know VERBALLY he cares for me and loves me.
His Silence drove me CRAAAAZY!
Made worse by having to hold my pain in all day because our 2 1/2 year old was there so I couldn't say anything. I just chatted normally about what we were doing. Eg having dinner "how's your meal? Mines delicious. Would you like some?"
Silence! It was painful! And heart-breaking as our little girl was happy smiling and babbling away oblivious to the situation.
So to answer your question simply..
I guess it was over from July 2017.
But then I guess it was truly over, once I moved out of the family home in June 2020 - during Covid.
That's when it truly sunk it that its over.
Deep down I never wanted this..divorce etc.
I wanted what I being saying in my recent thread here.
So now I'm heartbroken and full of regret.
Hence..I've been in therapy for about 2yrs.
I just want my old life back.
But it's gone š
And I never arranged Couple Therapy.
It seems fresh.
Aries silence - maybe he was trying to process things and evaluate. He also may have been putting thick walls up to you. Not excusing the behavior, just giving insight. If it drove you nuts and made you act out more ā walls would have been put up. Some people misconstrue it as not caring, but it is instinct, self protection, and self preservation that takes over.click to expand
I wish he was trying to process.
But i found a message from him 5yrs ago and he admitted he shuts down and freezes!
Posted by PuzzlePieces
One of the most important things Iāve learned in life is how to be grateful. It was extremely important after I left my husband. See because the sadness drags you so far down, itās hard to breathe sometimes. Itās hard to remember there are good things. But a grateful practice helps you realize all the good things you have in this world, instead of dwelling on the bad. I mean I know youāre a Capricorn but you need to try it. I used to make a list of 10 things I was grateful for everyday. You know itās amazing there are always things no matter how bad your life is! It really helps to change your focus. Iād say thatās what you need ā¦ to change your focus. Focus on the good instead of the bad. Life will get better!
You are so right.
Gratitude.
And also..Acceptance.
The thing is I am grateful and I was grateful with my life with my husband. Eg a Marriage, a Family, a Home, a Life, Security.
That's a lot to lose for some Pisces bastard who took me for a ride!
Despite being grateful for everything I had, everything else took over. Loneliness, Anger, Insecurity, Depression, Anxiety.
Sadly I became blind to everything I had. Emotion took over.
Life is a lot harder now.
I hate being a single mum. Especially where me and my husband don't speak.
We haven't spoken for most of her life. She's nearly 8.
I just wish I'd forced myself to REMEMBER what I had and the Gratitude I always had!
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He has pisces sun+moon+mercury with aqua mars+venus.
Also do pisces men get jealousā Just curious
Warning..I DON'T MEAN A PUNCH-UP TYPE FIGHT!
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I need to ask..
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Or trying to be I think!
And its only neen this year that I'm finally healing and feeling quite ok with out him.
SO I THOUGHT!!!
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Whether its a partner or girlfriend..
Hi everyone..
Seriously what is this about??
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Always the eternal optimist š„“šš¤£