AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus
Comments: 14265 · Posts: 5321 · Topics: 61
Need some of my elder women's opinions....
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Posted by HearttofTopaz
He really still has it? I wouldn't make a big deal but in person, i'd casually ask him if he will throw it away. See how he reacts. Its pretty weird.. if he's not willing to get rid of it then that seems like a red flag.
If he says ok, but still seems put out by your request then i'd be hesitant. Personally I don't think it's inappropriate to ask him to throw it away. Especially if you're in a relationship.
Thing is... I don't want to ask him to throw it away. I want him to want to get rid of it. And if he doesn't, I'd rather go my own way.... that's how I feel right now anyway.... I'm going to talk to him later and see if I can understand what it means to him.
Posted by The_Mad_Hater
Go buy some doll clothes and some double stick tape. Tell him he can keep it but you'd like to compromise by covering her nips up. BOOM! I'm a problem solver.
Lololol not bad... haha
I think it might have more to do with it being a gift from him mom vs it a naked picture of the ex. But who knows.
Posted by HearttofTopazPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by HearttofTopaz
He really still has it? I wouldn't make a big deal but in person, i'd casually ask him if he will throw it away. See how he reacts. Its pretty weird.. if he's not willing to get rid of it then that seems like a red flag.
If he says ok, but still seems put out by your request then i'd be hesitant. Personally I don't think it's inappropriate to ask him to throw it away. Especially if you're in a relationship.
Thing is... I don't want to ask him to throw it away. I want him to want to get rid of it. And if he doesn't, I'd rather go my own way.... that's how I feel right now anyway.... I'm going to talk to him later and see if I can understand what it means to him. click to expand
Believe me, I get it but things don't always work out that way. If he was going to get rid of it on his own, he would have already done it. Maybe it's just been there and he hasn't put much thought into it. I'm not that type of person I don't hoard stuff, but there are people out there like that. Maybe it's as simple as you requesting it to be disposed of?? Guys need a push sometimes lol. If he wants a relationship with you, then I don't see why he'd have a problem with it. click to expandclick to expand
He knows how I feel. I just can't ask.
Posted by HearttofTopazPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by HearttofTopazPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by HearttofTopaz
He really still has it? I wouldn't make a big deal but in person, i'd casually ask him if he will throw it away. See how he reacts. Its pretty weird.. if he's not willing to get rid of it then that seems like a red flag.
If he says ok, but still seems put out by your request then i'd be hesitant. Personally I don't think it's inappropriate to ask him to throw it away. Especially if you're in a relationship.
Thing is... I don't want to ask him to throw it away. I want him to want to get rid of it. And if he doesn't, I'd rather go my own way.... that's how I feel right now anyway.... I'm going to talk to him later and see if I can understand what it means to him. click to expand
Believe me, I get it but things don't always work out that way. If he was going to get rid of it on his own, he would have already done it. Maybe it's just been there and he hasn't put much thought into it. I'm not that type of person I don't hoard stuff, but there are people out there like that. Maybe it's as simple as you requesting it to be disposed of?? Guys need a push sometimes lol. If he wants a relationship with you, then I don't see why he'd have a problem with it. click to expand
He knows how I feel. I just can't ask. click to expand
True. It shouldn't have to be your place to ask.. I hope he throws that butter away, if he hasn't already! I'm sorry. It's an awkward situation, not to mention the added stress from past situations. click to expandclick to expand
I'm going to explain what i think is causing such a reaction for me ie. my past family history and listen to his reasoning behind having it. We'll see... I just know I'm already in for heartache... I set myself up for failure lol
His mother sounds weird......I would be as concerned about his rship and attachment with her as the pic ?
She sounds so inappropriate
😱
She sounds so inappropriate
😱
Do you have his chart, Abby?
I'm more stuck on why his mom felt it was appropriate to give him a blown up version of a topless women...whether it's an ex or not. Super creepy! Lol.
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
Posted by The_Mad_HaterWill you please get rid of that avi? It's driving me crazy!!! Lol but it really is.
Hold up! The pics were on the photographer's FB page? On a public page? For anyone to see? And that's not weird?
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Posted by LostinmyMind11Yes really really creepy
I'm more stuck on why his mom felt it was appropriate to give him a blown up version of a topless women...whether it's an ex or not. Super creepy! Lol.
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
Wow
Posted by MyStarsShine
His mother sounds weird......I would be as concerned about his rship and attachment with her as the pic ?
She sounds so inappropriate
They basically don't have one bc of how she is but she likes to pretend so... like the gift....
Posted by LostinmyMind11
I'm more stuck on why his mom felt it was appropriate to give him a blown up version of a topless women...whether it's an ex or not. Super creepy! Lol.
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
In his own words, he couldn't believe the levels of violation there.... when his sister pointed out how inappropriate it was to has a topless picture blown up like that she said she didn't even notice she was topless, she just thought she looked beautiful...
Posted by The_Mad_Hater
Hold up! The pics were on the photographer's FB page? On a public page? For anyone to see? And that's not weird?
Not to me as I have photographer friends who have nudity in their work. I'm not personalizing it that way.
Posted by LostinmyMind11or accidently step on it.
I'm more stuck on why his mom felt it was appropriate to give him a blown up version of a topless women...whether it's an ex or not. Super creepy! Lol.
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
But ya it's weird that his mom did that.
Posted by jeaneMe issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men.
Posted by ArkansassyGet outta here nonwomens. You fuckin Scorps.... 😝
I'm here for you
Posted by AbbyNormalMy eyes would go right to the nipples...ain't no way she didn't notice that lolPosted by LostinmyMind11
I'm more stuck on why his mom felt it was appropriate to give him a blown up version of a topless women...whether it's an ex or not. Super creepy! Lol.
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
In his own words, he couldn't believe the levels of violation there.... when his sister pointed out how inappropriate it was to has a topless picture blown up like that she said she didn't even notice she was topless, she just thought she looked beautiful... click to expandclick to expand
Posted by jeaneI agree with this. Rather than run like you mentioned because he didn't feel it in-appropriate enough to trash; perhaps turn your feelings back a notch and watch and wait to see what he is truly made of. I personally am not so sure it was his mother that sent it. Because that sounds ludicrous. Could be true but - really ? ... anywho I will respond tomorrow if you write back - got to go for now.
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry 😢
Posted by LostinmyMind11Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by LostinmyMind11
I'm more stuck on why his mom felt it was appropriate to give him a blown up version of a topless women...whether it's an ex or not. Super creepy! Lol.
Ask to rearrange his closet or where ever he is keeping it and "accidentally" run a knife thru it or fall on it. "Oops ...my bad".
Problem solved! 😂
In his own words, he couldn't believe the levels of violation there.... when his sister pointed out how inappropriate it was to has a topless picture blown up like that she said she didn't even notice she was topless, she just thought she looked beautiful... click to expand
My eyes would go right to the nipples...ain't no way she didn't notice that lol click to expandclick to expand
Like is she on drugs?? Or a drunk?? She can't really be that just weird by herself lololol idk man....
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeane
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Me issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men. click to expandclick to expand
i think you give the ex power if you put her on a pedestal. all of this chatter going on in your mind is about you. nothing that he has done or said or feels. your effectively punishing him because it is emotionally safer for you to do so.
so he gets rid of it. are you going to start policing his thoughts? fantasies? ask him if he is still pining for her? ask him again? and again? make him delete his facebook account because he could still seek her out? if he still pines for her, getting rid of that picture won't change that. i asked my partner is he wanted to go back to his ex and he said no. i never asked him again. i chose to trust him until he gave me reason not to.
what if there is a beautiful woman who he meets one day. are you going to start wondering if perhaps he wants to be with her? he has a charming work colleague, are you going to wonder then? maybe you start to feel concerned that he spends more time with her at work than he does with you at home. are you going to feel you're not good enough? you will never win that game. there is nothing he can ever do that will make you feel special enough. that has to come from inside. that comes from strength. you could give yourself a break of 5 years from men but until you address that, the next man will have to face the same baggage you throw at him. it's not fair.
but it's a nice idea...a love that makes you feel like you have never loved before. don't get caught up in a hallmark card. life doesn't work like that. love comes in whatever package it comes in. would you seriously turn it away because it's not exactly like you imagined? that's just foolish. you find someone who loves, respects, values, cherishes you...hang on to them. we all have baggage. some times love comes to us a little battered and flawed. but loving and being loved is being vulnerable. if you can't be vulnerable and put yourself on the line for someone to hurt, deceive, abandon you, then you'll never truly love or feel it. it will just be time spent together with white knuckles, waiting for the day the other shoe drops. that's no way to live.
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me.
Posted by tctaoi believe it. my mother would do something mad like that.Posted by jeane
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
I agree with this. Rather than run like you mentioned because he didn't feel it in-appropriate enough to trash; perhaps turn your feelings back a notch and watch and wait to see what he is truly made of. I personally am not so sure it was his mother that sent it. Because that sounds ludicrous. Could be true but - really ? ... anywho I will respond tomorrow if you write back - got to go for now. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeaneMe issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men. click to expand
i think you give the ex power if you put her on a pedestal. all of this chatter going on in your mind is about you. nothing that he has done or said or feels. your effectively punishing him because it is emotionally safer for you to do so.
so he gets rid of it. are you going to start policing his thoughts? fantasies? ask him if he is still pining for her? ask him again? and again? make him delete his facebook account because he could still seek her out? if he still pines for her, getting rid of that picture won't change that. i asked my partner is he wanted to go back to his ex and he said no. i never asked him again. i chose to trust him until he gave me reason not to.
what if there is a beautiful woman who he meets one day. are you going to start wondering if perhaps he wants to be with her? he has a charming work colleague, are you going to wonder then? maybe you start to feel concerned that he spends more time with her at work than he does with you at home. are you going to feel you're not good enough? you will never win that game. there is nothing he can ever do that will make you feel special enough. that has to come from inside. that comes from strength. you could give yourself a break of 5 years from men but until you address that, the next man will have to face the same baggage you throw at him. it's not fair.
but it's a nice idea...a love that makes you feel like you have never loved before. don't get caught up in a hallmark card. life doesn't work like that. love comes in whatever package it comes in. would you seriously turn it away because it's not exactly like you imagined? that's just foolish. you find someone who loves, respects, values, cherishes you...hang on to them. we all have baggage. some times love comes to us a little battered and flawed. but loving and being loved is being vulnerable. if you can't be vulnerable and put yourself on the line for someone to hurt, deceive, abandon you, then you'll never truly love or feel it. it will just be time spent together with white knuckles, waiting for the day the other shoe drops. that's no way to live. click to expandclick to expand
I thought someone might think that I'm a jealous mess but it's not about her. It's about us and what i thought was there. But really this speaks more about me. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship. And I don't think he is either. I feel disrespected by this. I feel like if you want to call me your gf, finish up with your last 1st. Though all of this only affirms my belief that ill be the cat lady in the end lolololololol
Posted by AbbyNormalWas the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at?Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expandclick to expand
give him a pic of your boobs
boom problem solved
boom problem solved
Posted by AbbyNormali don't think you are jealous. i think you see yourself as someone who is going to be abandoned for someone "better".Posted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeane
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Me issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men. click to expand
i think you give the ex power if you put her on a pedestal. all of this chatter going on in your mind is about you. nothing that he has done or said or feels. your effectively punishing him because it is emotionally safer for you to do so.
so he gets rid of it. are you going to start policing his thoughts? fantasies? ask him if he is still pining for her? ask him again? and again? make him delete his facebook account because he could still seek her out? if he still pines for her, getting rid of that picture won't change that. i asked my partner is he wanted to go back to his ex and he said no. i never asked him again. i chose to trust him until he gave me reason not to.
what if there is a beautiful woman who he meets one day. are you going to start wondering if perhaps he wants to be with her? he has a charming work colleague, are you going to wonder then? maybe you start to feel concerned that he spends more time with her at work than he does with you at home. are you going to feel you're not good enough? you will never win that game. there is nothing he can ever do that will make you feel special enough. that has to come from inside. that comes from strength. you could give yourself a break of 5 years from men but until you address that, the next man will have to face the same baggage you throw at him. it's not fair.
but it's a nice idea...a love that makes you feel like you have never loved before. don't get caught up in a hallmark card. life doesn't work like that. love comes in whatever package it comes in. would you seriously turn it away because it's not exactly like you imagined? that's just foolish. you find someone who loves, respects, values, cherishes you...hang on to them. we all have baggage. some times love comes to us a little battered and flawed. but loving and being loved is being vulnerable. if you can't be vulnerable and put yourself on the line for someone to hurt, deceive, abandon you, then you'll never truly love or feel it. it will just be time spent together with white knuckles, waiting for the day the other shoe drops. that's no way to live. click to expand
I thought someone might think that I'm a jealous mess but it's not about her. It's about us and what i thought was there. But really this speaks more about me. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship. click to expandclick to expand
hey, my father left my mother when i was 17. nothing in life is guaranteed. all you can do it live life the best you can. if the worst thing in the world happens ie he goes back to her, you'll be heartbroken but you'll be ok. you can't run from life though to avoid the hurt. you'll just hurt yourself in other ways. maybe more acceptable ways in your mind because you know what it is. you won't be blindsided. but you miss out on the opportunity to have a wonderful experience.
if you're not ready, then you are not ready. but just don't make decisions based on fear.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expand
Was the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at? click to expandclick to expand
I did see the new gift. His mother was visiting his sister in Australia so she sent some weird set of hand cream, foot cream and tea that had both hops and catnip in it, among other things.... kinda weird impersonal gift. He just said... for someone who acts like they know me, you just don't know me.
Posted by hydorah
give him a pic of your boobs
boom problem solved
What part of NO PENIS ALLOWED don't y'all get? 😝😝
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by hydorah
give him a pic of your boobs
boom problem solved
What part of NO PENIS ALLOWED don't y'all get? 😝😝 click to expandclick to expand
you can't tell a penis where it can and can't go
Posted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeane
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Me issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men. click to expand
i think you give the ex power if you put her on a pedestal. all of this chatter going on in your mind is about you. nothing that he has done or said or feels. your effectively punishing him because it is emotionally safer for you to do so.
so he gets rid of it. are you going to start policing his thoughts? fantasies? ask him if he is still pining for her? ask him again? and again? make him delete his facebook account because he could still seek her out? if he still pines for her, getting rid of that picture won't change that. i asked my partner is he wanted to go back to his ex and he said no. i never asked him again. i chose to trust him until he gave me reason not to.
what if there is a beautiful woman who he meets one day. are you going to start wondering if perhaps he wants to be with her? he has a charming work colleague, are you going to wonder then? maybe you start to feel concerned that he spends more time with her at work than he does with you at home. are you going to feel you're not good enough? you will never win that game. there is nothing he can ever do that will make you feel special enough. that has to come from inside. that comes from strength. you could give yourself a break of 5 years from men but until you address that, the next man will have to face the same baggage you throw at him. it's not fair.
but it's a nice idea...a love that makes you feel like you have never loved before. don't get caught up in a hallmark card. life doesn't work like that. love comes in whatever package it comes in. would you seriously turn it away because it's not exactly like you imagined? that's just foolish. you find someone who loves, respects, values, cherishes you...hang on to them. we all have baggage. some times love comes to us a little battered and flawed. but loving and being loved is being vulnerable. if you can't be vulnerable and put yourself on the line for someone to hurt, deceive, abandon you, then you'll never truly love or feel it. it will just be time spent together with white knuckles, waiting for the day the other shoe drops. that's no way to live. click to expand
I thought someone might think that I'm a jealous mess but it's not about her. It's about us and what i thought was there. But really this speaks more about me. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship. click to expand
i don't think you are jealous. i think you see yourself as someone who is going to be abandoned for someone "better".
hey, my father left my mother when i was 17. nothing in life is guaranteed. all you can do it live life the best you can. if the worst thing in the world happens ie he goes back to her, you'll be heartbroken but you'll be ok. you can't run from life though to avoid the hurt. you'll just hurt yourself in other ways. maybe more acceptable ways in your mind because you know what it is. you won't be blindsided. but you miss out on the opportunity to have a wonderful experience.
if you're not ready, then you are not ready. but just don't make decisions based on fear. click to expandclick to expand
Thank you. This made me cry. I'm petrified to be left with kids on my own..... I'm scared of that look in my mom's eye of sadness buried down below, missing my father.... idk I'm just scared. It's safer alone. I have some healing to do. I appreciate you guys so much.
Posted by hydorahPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by hydorah
give him a pic of your boobs
boom problem solved
What part of NO PENIS ALLOWED don't y'all get? 😝😝 click to expand
you can't tell a penis where it can and can't go click to expandclick to expand
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Posted by AbbyNormalCould explain the gift of the photo I guess with a gift as strange as that. Sounds like a gift for a girl tbh. I don't know him so my scepticism will be high obviously but I can't see past the red flags. If you really like the guy can I suggest you just be honest and tell him how you feel. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is when we think we can't communicate with one another out of fear of how the other person will react. If you make him understand this is not from a jealous perspective it could only strengthen your relationship. If it doesn't and it ends well then you have your answerPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalWas the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at? click to expandPosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expand
I did see the new gift. His mother was visiting his sister in Australia so she sent some weird set of hand cream, foot cream and tea that had both hops and catnip in it, among other things.... kinda weird impersonal gift. He just said... for someone who acts like they know me, you just don't know me. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeane
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Me issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men. click to expand
i think you give the ex power if you put her on a pedestal. all of this chatter going on in your mind is about you. nothing that he has done or said or feels. your effectively punishing him because it is emotionally safer for you to do so.
so he gets rid of it. are you going to start policing his thoughts? fantasies? ask him if he is still pining for her? ask him again? and again? make him delete his facebook account because he could still seek her out? if he still pines for her, getting rid of that picture won't change that. i asked my partner is he wanted to go back to his ex and he said no. i never asked him again. i chose to trust him until he gave me reason not to.
what if there is a beautiful woman who he meets one day. are you going to start wondering if perhaps he wants to be with her? he has a charming work colleague, are you going to wonder then? maybe you start to feel concerned that he spends more time with her at work than he does with you at home. are you going to feel you're not good enough? you will never win that game. there is nothing he can ever do that will make you feel special enough. that has to come from inside. that comes from strength. you could give yourself a break of 5 years from men but until you address that, the next man will have to face the same baggage you throw at him. it's not fair.
but it's a nice idea...a love that makes you feel like you have never loved before. don't get caught up in a hallmark card. life doesn't work like that. love comes in whatever package it comes in. would you seriously turn it away because it's not exactly like you imagined? that's just foolish. you find someone who loves, respects, values, cherishes you...hang on to them. we all have baggage. some times love comes to us a little battered and flawed. but loving and being loved is being vulnerable. if you can't be vulnerable and put yourself on the line for someone to hurt, deceive, abandon you, then you'll never truly love or feel it. it will just be time spent together with white knuckles, waiting for the day the other shoe drops. that's no way to live. click to expand
I thought someone might think that I'm a jealous mess but it's not about her. It's about us and what i thought was there. But really this speaks more about me. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship. click to expand
i don't think you are jealous. i think you see yourself as someone who is going to be abandoned for someone "better".
hey, my father left my mother when i was 17. nothing in life is guaranteed. all you can do it live life the best you can. if the worst thing in the world happens ie he goes back to her, you'll be heartbroken but you'll be ok. you can't run from life though to avoid the hurt. you'll just hurt yourself in other ways. maybe more acceptable ways in your mind because you know what it is. you won't be blindsided. but you miss out on the opportunity to have a wonderful experience.
if you're not ready, then you are not ready. but just don't make decisions based on fear. click to expand
Thank you. This made me cry. I'm petrified to be left with kids on my own..... I'm scared of that look in my mom's eye of sadness buried down below, missing my father.... idk I'm just scared. It's safer alone. I have some healing to do. I appreciate you guys so much. click to expandclick to expandclick to expandclick to expandclick to expand
if you're scared of these things it's because you don't believe you are strong enough to deal with the worst things in life. you are though. whatever happens, you'd be ok because you would make sure of it.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesThank you. I was thinking along the same lines. I have been very honest with my feelings with him. Uncomfortably so only for him to take it way better than I expected. So we will see when he's free tonight. We'll talk and it may suck but it's how I feel. I'm a very understanding person but I'm also very emotional.Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expand
Was the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at? click to expand
I did see the new gift. His mother was visiting his sister in Australia so she sent some weird set of hand cream, foot cream and tea that had both hops and catnip in it, among other things.... kinda weird impersonal gift. He just said... for someone who acts like they know me, you just don't know me. click to expand
Could explain the gift of the photo I guess with a gift as strange as that. Sounds like a gift for a girl tbh. I don't know him so my scepticism will be high obviously but I can't see past the red flags. If you really like the guy can I suggest you just be honest and tell him how you feel. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is when we think we can't communicate with one another out of fear of how the other person will react. If you make him understand this is not from a jealous perspective it could only strengthen your relationship. If it doesn't and it ends well then you have your answer click to expandclick to expand
Posted by jeaneI miss my mom. Idk if I want a crazy/absent grandmother if this got serious. Plus I need a surrogate mom too lololol. I'm just.... processing....Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeanePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by jeane
for me, i would want to see it!! then we could both laugh at it, think how weird it is and then i wouldn't worry about it.
it's only a problem if you make it a problem.
he's not with her. he doesn't want to be with her. he is with you. if you show him that you are a much better catch than her (he probably knows that already), then that picture becomes meaningless.
he's had other relationships before you. you can't erase them from his mind. they are what made him who he is. all you can do is concentrate on the now and whatever future you have together.
my partner had recently come out of a long term relationship when we first met. its fair to say he was still smarting from it and even before we got together i was encouraging him to give it another shot with his ex. recently he said to me that he can't even remember what he saw in her. that is peace of mind to me. he came to that on his own. i didn't have to do anything except be myself.
if you start wanting him to have certain feelings, behave a certain way, make certain decisions so you can avoid any sort of emotional growth it's not going to go in your favour in the long run. see this as a challenge for you to get past your past. you're choosing to hang on to it and determine your future. don't. maybe this has come into your life so you can move beyond your own baggage. see it for the opportunity that it is.
Me issue in all of this is this is the ex who broke up with him. She told him she thought she might be gay, and yeah he just found out she's gotten a new bf now. I believe they have been broken up for 2 maybe 3 years.
I don't want to be pining for someone who still holds a candle for someone else. I'm not that girl. I don't share (ok maybe once in the bedroom 😈). I don't want to feel like he's just with me bc he can't be with her. I don't feel special at all. I can't stop thinking about it.
And no I don't want to see it. Not in my lifetime. I don't want to see my ex fiance all engaged or married with kids now or whatever. It hurts and I just can't. I realize we have all had past relationships but I'd rather have a love that makes me feel like I haven't ever loved like that before. I'm just hopeless I think.... lol it just hurts... I rationalize with myself but I know how I feel...... and how I want to feel in a relationship.... I've been very lucky in the past with my exs to some degree. Maybe I just need a break from men. click to expand
i think you give the ex power if you put her on a pedestal. all of this chatter going on in your mind is about you. nothing that he has done or said or feels. your effectively punishing him because it is emotionally safer for you to do so.
so he gets rid of it. are you going to start policing his thoughts? fantasies? ask him if he is still pining for her? ask him again? and again? make him delete his facebook account because he could still seek her out? if he still pines for her, getting rid of that picture won't change that. i asked my partner is he wanted to go back to his ex and he said no. i never asked him again. i chose to trust him until he gave me reason not to.
what if there is a beautiful woman who he meets one day. are you going to start wondering if perhaps he wants to be with her? he has a charming work colleague, are you going to wonder then? maybe you start to feel concerned that he spends more time with her at work than he does with you at home. are you going to feel you're not good enough? you will never win that game. there is nothing he can ever do that will make you feel special enough. that has to come from inside. that comes from strength. you could give yourself a break of 5 years from men but until you address that, the next man will have to face the same baggage you throw at him. it's not fair.
but it's a nice idea...a love that makes you feel like you have never loved before. don't get caught up in a hallmark card. life doesn't work like that. love comes in whatever package it comes in. would you seriously turn it away because it's not exactly like you imagined? that's just foolish. you find someone who loves, respects, values, cherishes you...hang on to them. we all have baggage. some times love comes to us a little battered and flawed. but loving and being loved is being vulnerable. if you can't be vulnerable and put yourself on the line for someone to hurt, deceive, abandon you, then you'll never truly love or feel it. it will just be time spent together with white knuckles, waiting for the day the other shoe drops. that's no way to live. click to expand
I thought someone might think that I'm a jealous mess but it's not about her. It's about us and what i thought was there. But really this speaks more about me. I'm definitely not ready for a relationship. click to expand
i don't think you are jealous. i think you see yourself as someone who is going to be abandoned for someone "better".
hey, my father left my mother when i was 17. nothing in life is guaranteed. all you can do it live life the best you can. if the worst thing in the world happens ie he goes back to her, you'll be heartbroken but you'll be ok. you can't run from life though to avoid the hurt. you'll just hurt yourself in other ways. maybe more acceptable ways in your mind because you know what it is. you won't be blindsided. but you miss out on the opportunity to have a wonderful experience.
if you're not ready, then you are not ready. but just don't make decisions based on fear. click to expand
Thank you. This made me cry. I'm petrified to be left with kids on my own..... I'm scared of that look in my mom's eye of sadness buried down below, missing my father.... idk I'm just scared. It's safer alone. I have some healing to do. I appreciate you guys so much. click to expandclick to expandclick to expandclick to expand
if you're scared of these things it's because you don't believe you are strong enough to deal with the worst things in life. you are though. whatever happens, you'd be ok because you would make sure of it. click to expandclick to expand
Thank you again for your kind words. I feel my best right now honestly. Stronger and more capable than I've ever felt. I just.... if they don't have two parents, I don't want to have kids. And i only date people i think would be a good parent at this point. I don't think it implies he'll leave me for her. But I do think it implies things are not reciprocal bc we both need to get past some things before we could be together.
Posted by GobbyPosted by AbbyNormal
I don't feel special and I can't stop thinking about it.
This is what it essentially boils down to.
Your bruised ego is forgetting why you're with him in the first place and that no-one can make you feel special 24/7, year in year out.
The only thing that your backstory implies is that, due to such family trauma in your younger years, you're prone to sabotaging your own relationships.
click to expandclick to expand
Yeah due to abandonment. Lol it's a real fear.
Posted by AbbyNormalI wondered if he were a Scorpio. When you talk to him make sure you think about the words you use and how you use and phrase them. Don't want him reading into things you not actually saying. But Scorpio will appriciate the honesty. How old is he?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalCould explain the gift of the photo I guess with a gift as strange as that. Sounds like a gift for a girl tbh. I don't know him so my scepticism will be high obviously but I can't see past the red flags. If you really like the guy can I suggest you just be honest and tell him how you feel. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is when we think we can't communicate with one another out of fear of how the other person will react. If you make him understand this is not from a jealous perspective it could only strengthen your relationship. If it doesn't and it ends well then you have your answer click to expandPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expand
Was the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at? click to expand
I did see the new gift. His mother was visiting his sister in Australia so she sent some weird set of hand cream, foot cream and tea that had both hops and catnip in it, among other things.... kinda weird impersonal gift. He just said... for someone who acts like they know me, you just don't know me. click to expand
Thank you. I was thinking along the same lines. I have been very honest with my feelings with him. Uncomfortably so only for him to take it way better than I expected. So we will see when he's free tonight. We'll talk and it may suck but it's how I feel. I'm a very understanding person but I'm also very emotional. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies37 and yes double Scorp again... I felt that feeling when we 1st met and talked... I just knew.... only had that happen once before and yeah same, a double scorp.Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesThank you. I was thinking along the same lines. I have been very honest with my feelings with him. Uncomfortably so only for him to take it way better than I expected. So we will see when he's free tonight. We'll talk and it may suck but it's how I feel. I'm a very understanding person but I'm also very emotional. click to expandPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expand
Was the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at? click to expand
I did see the new gift. His mother was visiting his sister in Australia so she sent some weird set of hand cream, foot cream and tea that had both hops and catnip in it, among other things.... kinda weird impersonal gift. He just said... for someone who acts like they know me, you just don't know me. click to expand
Could explain the gift of the photo I guess with a gift as strange as that. Sounds like a gift for a girl tbh. I don't know him so my scepticism will be high obviously but I can't see past the red flags. If you really like the guy can I suggest you just be honest and tell him how you feel. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is when we think we can't communicate with one another out of fear of how the other person will react. If you make him understand this is not from a jealous perspective it could only strengthen your relationship. If it doesn't and it ends well then you have your answer click to expand
I wondered if he were a Scorpio. When you talk to him make sure you think about the words you use and how you use and phrase them. Don't want him reading into things you not actually saying. But Scorpio will appriciate the honesty. How old is he? click to expandclick to expand
Posted by AbbyNormalHe will understand your need to talk to him about it. It's why he told you about it in the first place I bet. Good luck I'm sure it will go well for you I hope it does. Honesty can never do you wrong 🤗Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalI wondered if he were a Scorpio. When you talk to him make sure you think about the words you use and how you use and phrase them. Don't want him reading into things you not actually saying. But Scorpio will appriciate the honesty. How old is he? click to expandPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
Wonder what the ex must think or feel if she knew his mom of all people gave him a topless photo of her. Something just does not add up here and I see red flags sorry
Ok!?!?! If they were already broken up, it means she didn't know about it. He doesn't seem like he told her about it and he still has it. It speaks miles to me. click to expand
Was the new gift actually from his mother did you get a look at? click to expand
I did see the new gift. His mother was visiting his sister in Australia so she sent some weird set of hand cream, foot cream and tea that had both hops and catnip in it, among other things.... kinda weird impersonal gift. He just said... for someone who acts like they know me, you just don't know me. click to expand
Could explain the gift of the photo I guess with a gift as strange as that. Sounds like a gift for a girl tbh. I don't know him so my scepticism will be high obviously but I can't see past the red flags. If you really like the guy can I suggest you just be honest and tell him how you feel. One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is when we think we can't communicate with one another out of fear of how the other person will react. If you make him understand this is not from a jealous perspective it could only strengthen your relationship. If it doesn't and it ends well then you have your answer click to expand
Thank you. I was thinking along the same lines. I have been very honest with my feelings with him. Uncomfortably so only for him to take it way better than I expected. So we will see when he's free tonight. We'll talk and it may suck but it's how I feel. I'm a very understanding person but I'm also very emotional. click to expand
37 and yes double Scorp again... I felt that feeling when we 1st met and talked... I just knew.... only had that happen once before and yeah same, a double scorp. click to expandclick to expand
I never read such a pathetic, self sabotaging piece of shit.
Posted by AbbyNormalAbby: "And if he doesn't, I'd rather go my own way.... that's how I feel right now anyway.... I'm going to talk to him later and see if I can understand what it means to him.Posted by HearttofTopaz
He really still has it? I wouldn't make a big deal but in person, i'd casually ask him if he will throw it away. See how he reacts. Its pretty weird.. if he's not willing to get rid of it then that seems like a red flag.
If he says ok, but still seems put out by your request then i'd be hesitant. Personally I don't think it's inappropriate to ask him to throw it away. Especially if you're in a relationship.
Thing is... I don't want to ask him to throw it away. I want him to want to get rid of it. And if he doesn't, I'd rather go my own way.... that's how I feel right now anyway.... I'm going to talk to him later and see if I can understand what it means to him. click to expandclick to expand
Abby, CALM DOWN
you focus on the wrong thing
you are seeing him 1 month... no need to issue "ultimatums"... he is a bit of nerd to receiving these kind of gifts from his mother and even show it to you (thats weird, he should have just put it aside and not comment on it, what more telling the story about the topless ex photo - insane)
so, again, calm down and let it be.... dont ask about the picture, dont make it a focus of your relationship after 1 month.... just avoid it, because after 1 month telling this is either insecurity and manipulation, or just he is a common male with no sense and he will be surprised by your extreme reaction to it...
so just observe him from now
maybe you can also invent a picture of some of your ex (with abs!) and tell him YOUR FATHER has a weird sense of humor and took a picture of your ex and framed it for you, as a sarcastic thing, how funny is that? 🙂
dont let him or your own mind manipulate you into drama
Edit: I am not sure its time to tell him the "backstory" why you feel that way.... but you know yourself the best what to tell him
just skimmed thread so not sure if this has already been suggested...
wait anywhere from 1-3 months...don't mention the incident....
go out and buy a thick 10'' dildo - something veiny/realistic....get some packing peanuts, a gift box, and a small blank note on which you have one of your guy friends write something like "to remember me by when you get lonely. love you always"...
next time he comes over, leave that on the edge of your tub, visible for when he has to use the restroom, with the head poking out of the box....
when he comes at you with questions, toss it under the sink, and tell him its a gift from an ex who had a penis mold made, but it shouldn't be a big deal at all...you don't feel sentimentally attached to it..its totally a physical thing, and you just use it to get off when you're extremely stressed....
this should be a good way to open up discussions around keeping these kinds of sexually-themed relics of your exes....
*edit*...nevermind...just saw you said you have scorpio mars....thought you said scorp moon....
in that case, maybe just tell him how you feel about it, vulnerably w/o anger, ultimatums, or demands, giving him that background story and all...seems totally understandable/reasonable to me, and if he doesn't consider your feelings on it, especially when it should be a really insignificant thing for him to part with, I'd say you've learned that he's fairly insensitive....
wait anywhere from 1-3 months...don't mention the incident....
go out and buy a thick 10'' dildo - something veiny/realistic....get some packing peanuts, a gift box, and a small blank note on which you have one of your guy friends write something like "to remember me by when you get lonely. love you always"...
next time he comes over, leave that on the edge of your tub, visible for when he has to use the restroom, with the head poking out of the box....
when he comes at you with questions, toss it under the sink, and tell him its a gift from an ex who had a penis mold made, but it shouldn't be a big deal at all...you don't feel sentimentally attached to it..its totally a physical thing, and you just use it to get off when you're extremely stressed....
this should be a good way to open up discussions around keeping these kinds of sexually-themed relics of your exes....
*edit*...nevermind...just saw you said you have scorpio mars....thought you said scorp moon....
in that case, maybe just tell him how you feel about it, vulnerably w/o anger, ultimatums, or demands, giving him that background story and all...seems totally understandable/reasonable to me, and if he doesn't consider your feelings on it, especially when it should be a really insignificant thing for him to part with, I'd say you've learned that he's fairly insensitive....
How do u know it’s from his mom🤨
Lol @ the head poking out the box😂🤣😂
Posted by GobbyPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by GobbyPosted by AbbyNormal
I don't feel special and I can't stop thinking about it.
This is what it essentially boils down to.
Your bruised ego is forgetting why you're with him in the first place and that no-one can make you feel special 24/7, year in year out.
The only thing that your backstory implies is that, due to such family trauma in your younger years, you're prone to sabotaging your own relationships.
click to expand
Yeah due to abandonment. Lol it's a real fear. click to expand
And, due to that fear, you'd rather 'be in control' even if that means ruining potentially good relationships. But you're not in control - you're fooling yourself into thinking that you are but, in actual fact, that unresolved fear is controlling you.
Have you seen a counsellor about it? If not, it's something worth considering.
click to expandclick to expand
Let's be real. If it were controlling me, I wouldn't try at all nor would I ponder how to grow from it. It's an issue but I don't find much difference between counseling and talking to other I know who I respect their wisdom.
anyway, as I said earlier, its too soon to demand to thro away anything and too soon to unload the reasons behind it on a fresh date (on both sides), IMHO
just observe and enjoy it
choose your battles
that´s not one of them AT 1 month.....
if you react, he will be telling this story for years to come to everybody about the crazy jealous chick he dated, who demanded he dispose of some picture
just observe and enjoy it
choose your battles
that´s not one of them AT 1 month.....
if you react, he will be telling this story for years to come to everybody about the crazy jealous chick he dated, who demanded he dispose of some picture
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