Jokes Forum: Laugh Share and Lighten the Mood: Page 2 Topics
Jack strode into ‘john’s stable’ looking to buy a horse. “listen here” said john, “i’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow.
John was starving!! he was stuck in a small hick town, lost and hungry.
A woman and man get into a car accident. both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
Little johnny and a little girl are playing. little johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "i have one of these and you don't." the little girl cries and runs home to her mother.
It's paige's birthday and she has been waiting for her gift from her boyfriend trevor for months. all he told her was "i got you something that will change your life.
Just another zodiac post. ;) you can never get enough of these lol.
@canmini this is what i will vision in the future when i read your posts.
Little johnny's teacher asks him, "if i gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats; how many would you have?" little johnny replies, "seven!" his teacher asks him again more slowly, "if i gave you two cats, then two more, and two more cats
A blonde woman decides to start a handyman service to make some extra money. she walks around a wealthy neighborhood and walks up to the first house.
A man comes to the entrance of heaven and is told, "you haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. if you can tell me of something amazing you have done, i will let you in." the man replies, "well, one time i was driving down
A struggling zoo's main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. they can't afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week.
An antique dealer is walking through town and sees a cat drinking milk from a saucer in a shop window. he is shocked when he realizes that the saucer is very rare and expensive.
John was in an accident and his face was badly burned. the doctors couldn't reconstruct his face with john's own skin because he was so skinny.
The new ceo of a company comes into work determined to turn things around. trying to prove himself to his new employees he looks around the office and sees a guy leaning against a wall doing nothing.
A british man, frenchman, and american are on an african safari when they are captured by cannibals. the cannibal leader addresses them, "i'm sorry gentlemen, but i must follow our traditions." the brit replies, "what does that mean?" the cannibal r
How do you know if a chinaman robbed your house? a: your homework is done and your computer is upgraded, but two hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway.
A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. she lost her job, her family, and all of her money.
An old man on his death bed has spent his entire life pinching pennies and clinging to all of his money. friendless, he is surrounded by his priest, doctor, and lawyer.
A cowboy strolls into town on his horse fireball and goes straight to the saloon. he drinks straight whiskey for a few hours, never moving except to take another drink.
Somehow a dog gets lost in an african jungle. as he is finding his way a lion spots him.
The pope arrives in new york and gets in his limo. while driving the pope asks his driver, "may i drive?" the driver can't refuse since he's the pope and all, so the pope hops into the driver seat and the driver into the back.
A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse. the horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "all you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'alllleee ooop!' really loudly in the horse's e
Husband: oh, come on. wife: leave me alone!
Signs when they stub their toe aries: *loud cursing and swearing and smacking and banging the table they stubbed their toe on* taurus: sit down and hold their toe while tearing gemini: jump around on the other foot, grabbing their injured toe
A woman goes to the veterinarian with her pig that appears to be sleeping. the woman waits as the vet inspects the pig.
"i should be in charge," said the brain , "i run all the body's systems, without me nothing would happen." "i should be in charge," said the heart , "i circulate oxygen and nutrients all over." "no! i should be in charge," said the stomach, "i pro
Roses are red nuts are brown skirts go up pants go down body to body skin to skin when its stiff stick it in the longer its in the stronger it gets it goes in dry and comes out wet it comes out dripping and starts to sag its not what you think.
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. congress said, "someone may steal from it at night." so they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. a mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the free speaker function and begins to talk.
Little girl: mom what's this *she pulled down her pants* mom: that's your garage, don't let boys put their car into your garage she nods and hops off next door little boy: dad whats this? *he pulls down his pants* dad: that's your car, you
Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. a cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over.
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "where are you heading today?" the man asks.
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. he goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault.
The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said, “children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?” little stevie raised his hand and said “i would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and i could bu
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. when he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "what do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
This tickled me enjoy!
Aries: "okay, let's do it again!" taurus: "i'm hungry--pass the pizza." gemini: "have you seen the remote?" cancer: "when are we getting married?" leo: "wasn't i fantastic?" virgo: "i need to wash the sheets." libra: "i liked it if you l
Do i upload a pic for my default on here ?
A member of congress was seated next to a little girl on an air plane so he turned to her and said, “do you want to talk? flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.†the little girl, who had just started to rea
By icicle. ba-dum-tiss
Ok,... something funny happened today.
#aquariusascendant
X)
You're less likely to get covered in white stuff if you shove the whole thing in your mouth. i get my best revelations when i'm driving...and apparently while eating powdered doughnuts.
Aries: "dear god! give me patience and i want it now!" taurus: "dear god, please help me accept change in my life, but not yet." gemini: "yo god...(or is it goddess?)...who are you?...what are you?.....where are you?.....how many of you are there?
Thought we could put here every astrology joke we know..or humorous facts.