Is it too hard for you? or would you rather have them in your life as just a friend then not at all
can you be just friends with someone that you have feelings for?
Posted by BuffaloBills28I agree, trying to do it atm but its slowly draining me
It's hard.
It's hard for me! If I had feelings.. or we were a couple, it's either all or nothing...
Granted if time passes and things are "different" (moved on to a new guy, or vice versa) I can try to be cool... but it just wouldn't be the same.
Granted if time passes and things are "different" (moved on to a new guy, or vice versa) I can try to be cool... but it just wouldn't be the same.
Normally I'd say no, but when it turns out that the friend actually NEEDS you in his life.......oh boy.
Sometimes you have no choice but to go through the motions. I'm doing it now. My ex and I still have feelings for each other, but the relationship didn't work out for us. We function as friends because we want to be in each others' lives, but it gets frustrating. Probably more so for me.
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXNot everyone is as weak-willed as you, my deer 😉 Some of us can actually get lucky (even temporarily, enjoy what you can get).
No. Just no.
Anyone who says yes is lying to themselves.
It's kinda like limbo-land for me - currently goin thru a situation myself. I guess I'd rather have them in my life then not at all but it does suck, not gonna lie. And that may be selfish or stupid - but whatevs —?♀️?
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXUGH your mind is pure filth!!!Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowPosted by xXxQueenliciaXxXNot everyone is as weak-willed as you, my deer 😉 Some of us can actually get lucky (even temporarily, enjoy what you can get).
No. Just no.
Anyone who says yes is lying to themselves.
It has nothing to do with having a weak will.
If you have those kinds of feelings for someone, they don't just go away because you agrees to keep things platonic.
Being "just friends" with that person is foolish because all you're aching for deep down is to be more than friends with that person. Thus creating awkward tension and situations.
Side note: Your comment wreaks of insecurity. "Some of us can actually get lucky". Yeah, ok.
People who refer to sex as "getting lucky" are people who never get lucky.
click to expand
I'm not talking about sex, deer. It's hardly the most important thing in the world (and yes probably sexless virgins will say that to disguise their extreme sexual frustration but for the purposes of this topic it's NOT the case).
I'm talking about emotional bonding. The sex thing is all in your head, which means you CAN control it by teaching your mind to take the focus away from it and instead learn to appreciate what else you can get.
'Can you be just friends with someone that you have feelings for?" - Nope.
We wouldn't 'just' be friends. Even if I managed to convince myself otherwise I would subconsciously always try to make them fall for me and continuously be let down if the other person don't feel the same. I classify it as emotional torture. A good friend will most likely notice this and pull out of the friendship to spare you the pain. It's better to be honest and say "I need a break from our friendship until I dealt with this". A guy did this to a friend of mine and after a year or so they resumed the friendship.
I've seen a friendship destroyed once because the person in love to sabotaged the other person's love life - that friendship couldn't be resumed.
We wouldn't 'just' be friends. Even if I managed to convince myself otherwise I would subconsciously always try to make them fall for me and continuously be let down if the other person don't feel the same. I classify it as emotional torture. A good friend will most likely notice this and pull out of the friendship to spare you the pain. It's better to be honest and say "I need a break from our friendship until I dealt with this". A guy did this to a friend of mine and after a year or so they resumed the friendship.
I've seen a friendship destroyed once because the person in love to sabotaged the other person's love life - that friendship couldn't be resumed.
I actually just had to ask myself this over the weekend.
There was a guy I met about 5-6 years ago when I was straight out of a very serious relationship and had a very awful breakup. We immediately bonded and had a very intense 6 months together followed by several months of lingering feelings/trying to be friends before cutting it off all together but staying in touch occasionally for three years after and in the last couple years have gotten in better touch, giving advise, talking about life, work, dating, etc.
Up until this weekend, I hadn't seen him in 2 years (the last time I just ran into him at a bar and had a quick drink with him and the connection was still very present). Fast forward to this past Friday, he invited me to have drinks with a friend of his and himself because we now work very close by each other. I assumed the feelings would be long gone by now (he is in a relationship and everything has been very friendly and respectful between us).
Not the case at all. I still very much feel strongly for him somehow and I think that will likely always be the case. More than just physical attraction. I don't think I can see him again, just out of respect for him, his relationship and my own sanity. I told him that, and he said he still felt it too and that it would probably not go anywhere.
So short answer: it depends on the depth of feeling.
There was a guy I met about 5-6 years ago when I was straight out of a very serious relationship and had a very awful breakup. We immediately bonded and had a very intense 6 months together followed by several months of lingering feelings/trying to be friends before cutting it off all together but staying in touch occasionally for three years after and in the last couple years have gotten in better touch, giving advise, talking about life, work, dating, etc.
Up until this weekend, I hadn't seen him in 2 years (the last time I just ran into him at a bar and had a quick drink with him and the connection was still very present). Fast forward to this past Friday, he invited me to have drinks with a friend of his and himself because we now work very close by each other. I assumed the feelings would be long gone by now (he is in a relationship and everything has been very friendly and respectful between us).
Not the case at all. I still very much feel strongly for him somehow and I think that will likely always be the case. More than just physical attraction. I don't think I can see him again, just out of respect for him, his relationship and my own sanity. I told him that, and he said he still felt it too and that it would probably not go anywhere.
So short answer: it depends on the depth of feeling.
Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXBlame our birth charts and my good genes 😄Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowPosted by xXxQueenliciaXxXUGH your mind is pure filth!!!Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowPosted by xXxQueenliciaXxXNot everyone is as weak-willed as you, my deer 😉 Some of us can actually get lucky (even temporarily, enjoy what you can get).
No. Just no.
Anyone who says yes is lying to themselves.
It has nothing to do with having a weak will.
If you have those kinds of feelings for someone, they don't just go away because you agrees to keep things platonic.
Being "just friends" with that person is foolish because all you're aching for deep down is to be more than friends with that person. Thus creating awkward tension and situations.
Side note: Your comment wreaks of insecurity. "Some of us can actually get lucky". Yeah, ok.
People who refer to sex as "getting lucky" are people who never get lucky.
I'm not talking about sex, deer. It's hardly the most important thing in the world (and yes probably sexless virgins will say that to disguise their extreme sexual frustration but for the purposes of this topic it's NOT the case).
I'm talking about emotional bonding. The sex thing is all in your head, which means you CAN control it by teaching your mind to take the focus away from it and instead learn to appreciate what else you can get.
That's a lovely fairy tale.click to expand
Posted by indiwomanI don't crush easily and that crush never really lasts, especially if the guy already likes someone else or obviously doesn't like me. I'm practical like that. Now, hypothetically, if my Capricorn and I broke up, I think it would hurt too much to be friends at first.
Is it too hard for you? or would you rather have them in your life as just a friend then not at all
It can happen, but it's very difficult to do so. It's interesting how it ranges for me. It's like the stronger the attraction, the harder it is.
Posted by rektTruthfully - yes. After some timePosted by LillyPetalwould you want to be friends eventually though?Posted by indiwomanI don't crush easily and that crush never really lasts, especially if the guy already likes someone else or obviously doesn't like me. I'm practical like that. Now, hypothetically, if my Capricorn and I broke up, I think it would hurt too much to be friends at first.
Is it too hard for you? or would you rather have them in your life as just a friend then not at all
what i'm asking is do you value him beyond your romantic feelings for him.
yes if someone starts dating someone else right away you need some space to move on. but in general if you both moved on to dating someone else would you be open to remaining friendly with him?click to expand
Because the only thing I can see is breaking up over is either money or loss of romantic feelings.
If that's the case, I don't see why we couldn't still be friends as those things are not deal-breakers when it comes to the friendship we also share. In fact, I can see us falling back in love after just being friends (and having got our s hit together) because we are very close.
Posted by indiwomanI've been doing that for two years now. I'd rather have him in my life to be around his angelic soul then cast him out.
Is it too hard for you? or would you rather have them in your life as just a friend then not at all
I'd never.
A good soul is hard to come by. When you meet one, hold on.
I read some of the comments. I feel the connection we had created a friendship that's unbreakable. I love the man he is and the good he instills in me when I'm broken. He reaches out to me with his demons cause he knows I won't judge him. I love him to my very core and if it's a friendship we will have, then I'll the best.
Posted by rektI don't see anything wrong with it because I don't view it through other people's eyes. Because they're not living it first-hand, I am. So they couldn't possibly understand it.Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowyou don't see anything wrong with the dynamic you've created with the virgo though. so *shrug*Posted by xXxQueenliciaXxXBlame our birth charts and my good genes 😄Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowPosted by xXxQueenliciaXxXUGH your mind is pure filth!!!Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShowPosted by xXxQueenliciaXxXNot everyone is as weak-willed as you, my deer 😉 Some of us can actually get lucky (even temporarily, enjoy what you can get).
No. Just no.
Anyone who says yes is lying to themselves.
It has nothing to do with having a weak will.
If you have those kinds of feelings for someone, they don't just go away because you agrees to keep things platonic.
Being "just friends" with that person is foolish because all you're aching for deep down is to be more than friends with that person. Thus creating awkward tension and situations.
Side note: Your comment wreaks of insecurity. "Some of us can actually get lucky". Yeah, ok.
People who refer to sex as "getting lucky" are people who never get lucky.
I'm not talking about sex, deer. It's hardly the most important thing in the world (and yes probably sexless virgins will say that to disguise their extreme sexual frustration but for the purposes of this topic it's NOT the case).
I'm talking about emotional bonding. The sex thing is all in your head, which means you CAN control it by teaching your mind to take the focus away from it and instead learn to appreciate what else you can get.
That's a lovely fairy tale.
click to expand
No telling how long it will last so I'm enjoying whatever he offers me while the going is still good.
easy, just turn into an Aqua, no feelings involved
😆
i kid...
or do i?
😆
i kid...
or do i?
No, just recently cut one out my life..it becomes pointless after a while
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