Soul
@Soul
10 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 2278 · Posts: 17009 · Topics: 110
Anger.
Sag Sun/Moon, Scorp Venus, Aries Mars
I dislike confrontation, to an extent. You push me too far and I'm no longer nice tho. I say things to get under your skin, I've thrown things on occasion. I tend to bottle things up, so when I explode it can be a little all over the place...but it blows over quickly and I keep it in the past.
I dislike confrontation, to an extent. You push me too far and I'm no longer nice tho. I say things to get under your skin, I've thrown things on occasion. I tend to bottle things up, so when I explode it can be a little all over the place...but it blows over quickly and I keep it in the past.
I've been homicidal, needed psych help, physically violent...
I have a high threshold for pain and can easily detach. And having alot of experience with anger, I am patient and very strategic.
So whenever I tell people the cause of my anger, they call me brave, a hero of sorts, or can't believe what I went through.
I ain't petty... lying and/or posing a real or perceive threat to well-being are my triggers.
Otherwise, I'm the life of the party.
My emotions are often simple: happy or angry.
I have a high threshold for pain and can easily detach. And having alot of experience with anger, I am patient and very strategic.
So whenever I tell people the cause of my anger, they call me brave, a hero of sorts, or can't believe what I went through.
I ain't petty... lying and/or posing a real or perceive threat to well-being are my triggers.
Otherwise, I'm the life of the party.
My emotions are often simple: happy or angry.
I hate yo blame things on my childhood and refuse to believe my own personal actions are a result of it. The influence its still there though, even if its my own personal fault as an adult.
As a child I was never abused physically, but experienced a ton of fear growing up. Especially from my Sagittarius grandfather. He would get so pissed off, then transform into an unrecognizable monster. Never physically damaged us, but would whip us, then send us into a corner. All while yelling and acting insane. Then to look away from him in a corner and have no idea what would happen next. Then like 1 hour later he would turn normal, and want to take everyone out for ice cream. The change of personality was terrifying.
My Pisces father was never agressive. More detached and distant. And a heavy drinker. It was like he was in another world, and just expected people to "know" the answer to their own questions. As a kid with many questions, I annoyed him more then not. It wasn't until he met a woman with 3 kids of her own that stuff got bad. They started to do heroin together, and would come home late at night yelling at eachother. Then go into the kitchen and start breaking things. All us kids would huddle together terrified, but luckily nothing bad ever happened to us. Expect the memories of our parents going as low as they possibly could, and the sounds of the yelling. The worst it ever got my dad woke me up in the middle of the night, and told me to leave the house. He started to pour gasoline on the pourch with all the other kids and their mom in the house. I pulled out my phone to call my mom, and he seen me. I thought for sure he would rip the phone out of my hands, but he just said "Who are you calling?" I said "Mom" and he did nothing. I said "Hello" then he took the phone from me and wondered off with it for about 10 minutes. He appeared from the darkness, gave me my phone, said nothing, and went into the house to his bed. After that weekend my mom didn't let me go back. He eventually lost his job, and the house, and I never seen those kids again. My dad did get better. To the point he was stable and off drugs. He could call me tomorrow for a fising trip like we had a few years ago, and I would go. We would probably get drunk, and chat about all the positive things from the past, and deep ideas about the future. I'd never go out of my way to see him though. Its even more terrifying to think I have some of his traits. Good and bad.
As for my Virgo mom, she is literally the saint of all this. And by no means a saint lol. The thing about my mother is she has a huge heart. Imperfections, sure, but is very loving and giving to those she respects. And even those she doesn't. Like you could be her mortal enemy, but if you showed up at her door in the freezing cold with nowhere to go she'd let you in. Her anger is much different then everyone else I feared. She grew up with my grandfather, and I could only imagine what that was like back in the late 70s when teachers and parents could still physically abuse their kids and get away with it. If my mother was angry at someone, they truly deserved it. Such disrespect can't be rewared with anything less then a smack to the face. She smacked me maybe twice as a child, and both times I deserved much worse. And both times she immediately started crying and begging for forgiveness. I bet she was javing flashbacks from the fear my grandfather gave her as a child. But growing up with her I was still constantly exposed to yelling. She dated this Libra, and I'd be alone in my room while they would scream at the top of their lungs to each other.
Thinking of everything that happened with my father I never knew what to expect. For me adults yelling was always the sign everything was unstable, and unpredictable. Like with my Sagittarius grandfather. As a child all I wanted was stability. But could never find it. I find that is what triggers my own anger as am adult. Its when someone yells at me like they are about to do something real. It wakes something up inside of me, except unlike the adults in my life I want actually physically things to happen. I guess there is really nothing more to write. This is likely my longest post on dxpnet, and I feel I should just stop. Time to turn of the memories, at least for another 5 years lol.
As a child I was never abused physically, but experienced a ton of fear growing up. Especially from my Sagittarius grandfather. He would get so pissed off, then transform into an unrecognizable monster. Never physically damaged us, but would whip us, then send us into a corner. All while yelling and acting insane. Then to look away from him in a corner and have no idea what would happen next. Then like 1 hour later he would turn normal, and want to take everyone out for ice cream. The change of personality was terrifying.
My Pisces father was never agressive. More detached and distant. And a heavy drinker. It was like he was in another world, and just expected people to "know" the answer to their own questions. As a kid with many questions, I annoyed him more then not. It wasn't until he met a woman with 3 kids of her own that stuff got bad. They started to do heroin together, and would come home late at night yelling at eachother. Then go into the kitchen and start breaking things. All us kids would huddle together terrified, but luckily nothing bad ever happened to us. Expect the memories of our parents going as low as they possibly could, and the sounds of the yelling. The worst it ever got my dad woke me up in the middle of the night, and told me to leave the house. He started to pour gasoline on the pourch with all the other kids and their mom in the house. I pulled out my phone to call my mom, and he seen me. I thought for sure he would rip the phone out of my hands, but he just said "Who are you calling?" I said "Mom" and he did nothing. I said "Hello" then he took the phone from me and wondered off with it for about 10 minutes. He appeared from the darkness, gave me my phone, said nothing, and went into the house to his bed. After that weekend my mom didn't let me go back. He eventually lost his job, and the house, and I never seen those kids again. My dad did get better. To the point he was stable and off drugs. He could call me tomorrow for a fising trip like we had a few years ago, and I would go. We would probably get drunk, and chat about all the positive things from the past, and deep ideas about the future. I'd never go out of my way to see him though. Its even more terrifying to think I have some of his traits. Good and bad.
As for my Virgo mom, she is literally the saint of all this. And by no means a saint lol. The thing about my mother is she has a huge heart. Imperfections, sure, but is very loving and giving to those she respects. And even those she doesn't. Like you could be her mortal enemy, but if you showed up at her door in the freezing cold with nowhere to go she'd let you in. Her anger is much different then everyone else I feared. She grew up with my grandfather, and I could only imagine what that was like back in the late 70s when teachers and parents could still physically abuse their kids and get away with it. If my mother was angry at someone, they truly deserved it. Such disrespect can't be rewared with anything less then a smack to the face. She smacked me maybe twice as a child, and both times I deserved much worse. And both times she immediately started crying and begging for forgiveness. I bet she was javing flashbacks from the fear my grandfather gave her as a child. But growing up with her I was still constantly exposed to yelling. She dated this Libra, and I'd be alone in my room while they would scream at the top of their lungs to each other.
Thinking of everything that happened with my father I never knew what to expect. For me adults yelling was always the sign everything was unstable, and unpredictable. Like with my Sagittarius grandfather. As a child all I wanted was stability. But could never find it. I find that is what triggers my own anger as am adult. Its when someone yells at me like they are about to do something real. It wakes something up inside of me, except unlike the adults in my life I want actually physically things to happen. I guess there is really nothing more to write. This is likely my longest post on dxpnet, and I feel I should just stop. Time to turn of the memories, at least for another 5 years lol.
Posted by tiziani
Nowadays I pretty much just feel the sadness underneath the anger.
I notice some of the things that use to make me feel anger now just make me think. I use to fight it face to face, but lately I see myself just letting it go. Then thinking about it deeply hours later. I guess anger really is a mask for sadness.
Truth be told I hate negative vibes, and like things to be positive, or at the least neutral. I think the most of my dxpnet personality has been a vent of my deeper self. Because those type of emotions and opinions I hide from people. Mostly because I want a stable environment more then anything, and know my true emotional turmoil is the complete opposite of that. So what better place to express it then here lol
is kinda difficult to move a cap moon.
but I recently realized that my gemi mars is on the 12th house close to my ASC
I bottle up anger, that's my entire life 🙂 but when I'm mad, it feels like is drowning me, very interesting actually, I regret not letting it go a lil' bit sometimes, but I fear not being able to control it, when it kicks in, it just keep growing, martial arts were a good pressure valve, but even then, the more I got beated the stronger and faster I got, but the less I can control my thoughts, so I'm generally more focused in keeping it bottled up than being actively angry.
but I recently realized that my gemi mars is on the 12th house close to my ASC
I bottle up anger, that's my entire life 🙂 but when I'm mad, it feels like is drowning me, very interesting actually, I regret not letting it go a lil' bit sometimes, but I fear not being able to control it, when it kicks in, it just keep growing, martial arts were a good pressure valve, but even then, the more I got beated the stronger and faster I got, but the less I can control my thoughts, so I'm generally more focused in keeping it bottled up than being actively angry.
I don't let it fester
If I'm angry at someone else or their behaviour I confront them....very calmly...it always works for me, there seems to be power in quietly asserting oneself. When you lose it with someone, you've lost and they don't listen ....
Otherwise I channel it into dancing, laughing, singing etc and sometimes swearing lol 😳
If I'm angry at someone else or their behaviour I confront them....very calmly...it always works for me, there seems to be power in quietly asserting oneself. When you lose it with someone, you've lost and they don't listen ....
Otherwise I channel it into dancing, laughing, singing etc and sometimes swearing lol 😳
When im angry I try not to curse so I use 'Peanut or Peanuts' like...'that bloody peanut!' 'You freaking Peanut!' 'Peanut your ugly face!' Lol it will eventually make me laugh and then I'll keep away from that negative bastard.😂
Posted by ACsquarepluto
I try to ignore the feeling and keep pushing through my day. Writing things out helps me identify why I'm mad (always because of people concerning themselves with me when it's unwelcome and my existence should be irrelevant to them). Confrontation hasn't accomplished anything productive for me yet and messing up my future by committing a crime out of anger isn't an option. I hold grudges and find it to be a source of motivation (with the end goal being to work until I don't have to be around meddlesome aggressive people anymore, or until I've earned the respect to make them choose to f off)
Wow.
Nobody better not ever mess with you.. I'll kill them. YOU HEAR ME?
Posted by Muderface
When im angry I try not to curse so I use 'Peanut or Peanuts' like...'that bloody peanut!' 'You freaking Peanut!' 'Peanut your ugly face!' Lol it will eventually make me laugh and then I'll keep away from that negative bastard.😂
Fuck.
I hope I NEVER get called a peanut.
Peanut my ugly face. That shit will END ME. Words of RUIN.
Just destructive.. DAYUM.
Posted by SmidgePosted by MyStarsShine
I don't let it fester
If I'm angry at someone else or their behaviour I confront them....very calmly...it always works for me, there seems to be power in quietly asserting oneself. When you lose it with someone, you've lost and they don't listen ....
Otherwise I channel it into dancing, laughing, singing etc and sometimes swearing lol 😳
Swearing is quite satisfyingclick to expand
It sure is......I love how freely it's used here haahaa
If I don't let my anger out on the spot, or I know it would be an embarrassing situation to get mad (because I really act a damn fool), then I hold onto that anger forever..
And I never forgive myself for allowing someone's bullshit.
Anything that reminds me of it will have me talking so much shit in my head.
It turns into a bitter grudge. I actually have a list of people I want to murder. Swear to God.
But if I got my anger out right on the spot, then it happened and we can move on. I have to be able to stand up for myself or it'll really bother me.
If I'm not allowed to stand up for myself, then it's bad for whoever pissed me off. I plot your demise, I daydream about it, I sleep on it. I tend to these ideas of hurting a motherfucka like they are tiny children, or plants.
I thought about pouring a big boiling pot of Crisco vegetable oil down somebody's face while they were sleeping. Imagine some hot ass Crisco going into your face, nose and eyes while you sleep.
Thought about following my step-grandma out the door and beating her to death in the alley, then stuffing her body in the sewer, and telling everyone she ran off with her boyfriend.
Almost cut my dad's brakes.
Other than that, I wanna actually believe I'm a calm pissed off.
My last altercation was in April during that bad ass retrograde. I was very calm despite someone getting in my face, cussing at me and disrespecting my belongings. I stood there very calmly and quietly, face to face- trynna let them finish and thinking it'll be over but they weren't done.. Mercury retrograde in Aries at the time, and my aggressor actually had an Aries Mercury so it was transiting them directly.
Push came to shove, I grabbed my drink and chunked it at them. They threw a whole glass at me and missed miserably. I picked that same glass up and chucked it back with accuracy, didn't hit but them shards just exploded on that motherfucker.
I then ran outside and grabbed a big ass lawn chair.. Everyone thought I was fleeing.. Till they saw me walking my husky ass back in with the chair. Aggressor runs, my cousin blocks me from my WWE move.
I go outside to cool off .. Keep in mind, I haven't said a word. My aggressor comes back and throws all my shit outside. I walk up to the door to get it, and their just staring at me.
Finally I speak, and I'm just muttering that I hate them and fuck em, want them to die, all that shit..
Aggressor slams door in my face, I kick it wide the fuck back open in that same second it slammed, like a dynamite was stuck on that bitch. Door just exploded back open.
Didn't realize what I did .. Aggressor runs again. Fuckas can't even afford a new door. Instantly felt bad, but fuck them..
People always wanna pick on the someone that's not their own size.
I got the most heart.. I might let you cuss me, but don't touch me and keep shitting on me. Just say what you gotta say and get the fuck on somewhere.. Cuz a few people almost got they guts cut out trynna get in my face (I carry knives like candy).
I just feel bad for these people that think they crazy .. They ain't crazy .. They just weak and wanna feel powerful.
I 100% believe I'm the one that should be feared.
And I never forgive myself for allowing someone's bullshit.
Anything that reminds me of it will have me talking so much shit in my head.
It turns into a bitter grudge. I actually have a list of people I want to murder. Swear to God.
But if I got my anger out right on the spot, then it happened and we can move on. I have to be able to stand up for myself or it'll really bother me.
If I'm not allowed to stand up for myself, then it's bad for whoever pissed me off. I plot your demise, I daydream about it, I sleep on it. I tend to these ideas of hurting a motherfucka like they are tiny children, or plants.
I thought about pouring a big boiling pot of Crisco vegetable oil down somebody's face while they were sleeping. Imagine some hot ass Crisco going into your face, nose and eyes while you sleep.
Thought about following my step-grandma out the door and beating her to death in the alley, then stuffing her body in the sewer, and telling everyone she ran off with her boyfriend.
Almost cut my dad's brakes.
Other than that, I wanna actually believe I'm a calm pissed off.
My last altercation was in April during that bad ass retrograde. I was very calm despite someone getting in my face, cussing at me and disrespecting my belongings. I stood there very calmly and quietly, face to face- trynna let them finish and thinking it'll be over but they weren't done.. Mercury retrograde in Aries at the time, and my aggressor actually had an Aries Mercury so it was transiting them directly.
Push came to shove, I grabbed my drink and chunked it at them. They threw a whole glass at me and missed miserably. I picked that same glass up and chucked it back with accuracy, didn't hit but them shards just exploded on that motherfucker.
I then ran outside and grabbed a big ass lawn chair.. Everyone thought I was fleeing.. Till they saw me walking my husky ass back in with the chair. Aggressor runs, my cousin blocks me from my WWE move.
I go outside to cool off .. Keep in mind, I haven't said a word. My aggressor comes back and throws all my shit outside. I walk up to the door to get it, and their just staring at me.
Finally I speak, and I'm just muttering that I hate them and fuck em, want them to die, all that shit..
Aggressor slams door in my face, I kick it wide the fuck back open in that same second it slammed, like a dynamite was stuck on that bitch. Door just exploded back open.
Didn't realize what I did .. Aggressor runs again. Fuckas can't even afford a new door. Instantly felt bad, but fuck them..
People always wanna pick on the someone that's not their own size.
I got the most heart.. I might let you cuss me, but don't touch me and keep shitting on me. Just say what you gotta say and get the fuck on somewhere.. Cuz a few people almost got they guts cut out trynna get in my face (I carry knives like candy).
I just feel bad for these people that think they crazy .. They ain't crazy .. They just weak and wanna feel powerful.
I 100% believe I'm the one that should be feared.
Typical Aries Moon - i guess. Worst case scenario...
Then 10 min latter i'm all chill (: like nothing happened). Fortunately, such cases were really rare. Maybe your grandpa has an Aries Moon (or Aries Mars/ASC). 🤔
Generally speaking - it's not my thing (not the angry type). I mean, In most cases - that was a defensive reaction (i was pushed that far). It can happen verbally, for example... if you're trying to start a fight while I'm eating and you succeed (really get on my nerves) - the food may end-up in the kitchen sink, on the floor or out the window (: has happen before) - with me storming out of the room - and slamming the door on my way out. Other times i fought back verbally (saying something hurtful things - which reflected my state of anger "so yeah - it was really bad" / not something i would say - while my mind is clear - obviously).
Tough, there were also some cases - which involved physical violence... and other men (again... this was a defensive reaction). Never a woman (i don't have any history of physical violence - involving a woman / if anything the opposite was true... for most part of my life i acknowledged women as being to fragile - to weak/incapable to cause a man physical pain / feeble creatures 🧚 - even the thought of it seemed quite laughable 😂). And this too - may have something to do with my human condition. I mean, all the people that caused me physical pain while growing up - happened to be men (: or boys). It's true that my mother hurt me as well in such way - but i can count all those times on the fingers of my hand - and i knew i deserved it (got what was coming for me - so to speak). Cause i fucked-up really bad. Which was rarely the case with male figures (that was usually unexpected and undeserved). And thus... i may have an ingrained defensive reaction - when it comes to men who fuck'up like that (cause me physical pain / even if it comes from a so called friend - as a joke). For example: i was at a party celebrating a friend's b'day and one of the guys - thought it's funny to say hello - by slapping me hard on the back of my neck... 😤 then the next second - he found himself hurled couple of meters into a vase which broke his fall (could have been worse - if he end-up in the fire place). Some of the guys laughed - while others were in shock and tried to excuse his behavior (cause he was drunk too). Tough, again - couple of minutes later i was calm and in mood for party - like nothing happened. (:
As for the rest... i got angry cause something went that horribly wrong. Even if it was just a really bad game (the 9th loose in a row...🤬 / i lost 3 mice and a keyboard that way).
The next advice might work for most Aries Moon peps, as in:
If you fucked'up and got one angry - just step away and keep your distance for awhile (let them be). Their anger can be explosive - but it's usually short-lived (: runs on kerosene - so it burns out fast).
Then 10 min latter i'm all chill (: like nothing happened). Fortunately, such cases were really rare. Maybe your grandpa has an Aries Moon (or Aries Mars/ASC). 🤔
Generally speaking - it's not my thing (not the angry type). I mean, In most cases - that was a defensive reaction (i was pushed that far). It can happen verbally, for example... if you're trying to start a fight while I'm eating and you succeed (really get on my nerves) - the food may end-up in the kitchen sink, on the floor or out the window (: has happen before) - with me storming out of the room - and slamming the door on my way out. Other times i fought back verbally (saying something hurtful things - which reflected my state of anger "so yeah - it was really bad" / not something i would say - while my mind is clear - obviously).
Tough, there were also some cases - which involved physical violence... and other men (again... this was a defensive reaction). Never a woman (i don't have any history of physical violence - involving a woman / if anything the opposite was true... for most part of my life i acknowledged women as being to fragile - to weak/incapable to cause a man physical pain / feeble creatures 🧚 - even the thought of it seemed quite laughable 😂). And this too - may have something to do with my human condition. I mean, all the people that caused me physical pain while growing up - happened to be men (: or boys). It's true that my mother hurt me as well in such way - but i can count all those times on the fingers of my hand - and i knew i deserved it (got what was coming for me - so to speak). Cause i fucked-up really bad. Which was rarely the case with male figures (that was usually unexpected and undeserved). And thus... i may have an ingrained defensive reaction - when it comes to men who fuck'up like that (cause me physical pain / even if it comes from a so called friend - as a joke). For example: i was at a party celebrating a friend's b'day and one of the guys - thought it's funny to say hello - by slapping me hard on the back of my neck... 😤 then the next second - he found himself hurled couple of meters into a vase which broke his fall (could have been worse - if he end-up in the fire place). Some of the guys laughed - while others were in shock and tried to excuse his behavior (cause he was drunk too). Tough, again - couple of minutes later i was calm and in mood for party - like nothing happened. (:
As for the rest... i got angry cause something went that horribly wrong. Even if it was just a really bad game (the 9th loose in a row...🤬 / i lost 3 mice and a keyboard that way).
The next advice might work for most Aries Moon peps, as in:
If you fucked'up and got one angry - just step away and keep your distance for awhile (let them be). Their anger can be explosive - but it's usually short-lived (: runs on kerosene - so it burns out fast).
I controlled it pretty well. If I feel it building up I normally exercise. Karate always works well but everything that makes me use my body hard and relax my mind works too.
Posted by hihelloPosted by pisceswoman123
I controlled it pretty well. If I feel it building up I normally exercise. Karate always works well but everything that makes me use my body hard and relax my mind works too.
I hit the gym. Everyday for 6 days a week. Helps me.click to expand
Yes. That extra energy from anger needs to be released some where or another. The gym is probably the safest place.
I discovered martial arts work for me as a 13 years old. I think it saved me from lots of trouble 😂
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For me I don't really consider myself an angry person. I know that might be surprising considering some of my posts and strong opinions here, but its the opposite in actual life. When something in life bothers me I try to look at it from the opposite side of the spectrum. I use to be really bad with my opinions and ego, but lately when face to face with people I witness my deeper self break though my ego and can hear what I sound like. Like I'm holding a mirror up to myself. A lot of it comes from being afraid of my own anger, so it tries to stop me before it ever gets to that. I've only experienced my anger 2 times in my life. Both times everything went black, and I see the things I love then want to completely break them. My expensive objects, momentos that hold nostalgia and emotional value, absolutely everything in between me and the person who pushed me to that level. Breaking it is a release. Anything that was me just means... nothing at point. Even to the point I get cut up, but can't feel anything. Both times the person ran away crying, but I didn't follow them. I just stood there, staring into an abyss in the direction of the doorway or corner I last seen them. Letting my own blood drip to the floor, but I feel nothing inside. Just blank. I've never encountered a fighter yet, and fear what would happen if they didn't leave. If they stood their ground and fought back. If they didn't fear me. It's probably the reason I tend to stay solo, and fear a connection with people. I don't want to fall in love or connect with someone that has the power to push me to that level. No drug or drink could ever push me to that level. Not even my own thoughts. Just other people. I've learned to control it fully though. I can hear myself almost from a 3rd person, and back off before it can even spark me whatsoever. People in life ask me why certain things don't bother me or spark my emotions. And all I can say is they wouldn't want to see it bother me.
I'm Leo Sun, Scorpio moon, Cancer Venus, Taurus mars.