Mind games or just coincidence??

Posted by starlover

Does it matter why? You have allowed yourself to be treated this way for quite a while, so think of it as a positive move in the right direction

Learn to care more about yourself more and half some respect and then others will too

Good luck

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

Posted by starlover

Posted by BG2

Posted by starlover

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

*Should*


Hmmmmm.....the heart doesn't always adhere to that word though, does it?

No, it does NOT.
I guess I'm naïve enough to believe that sense must prevail in the end.

On another note, I don't think the guy is playing any games. Maybe he is demonstrating lack of respect by not ending clearly. OP's become 'addicted' (whatever) and she's projecting.

If only it did 😛 ~ sensible shoes and all that


Having said that, some of my biggest lessons have come from falling into someone totally. I had to do that to find out who i was and balance me.


Loaded 7th
Sun Neptune in Scorp in 7th


Lol

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Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

Posted by BG2

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

I think that's harsh to say. She seems like a nice girl who just got overwhelmed by her feelings.

Have some empathy, it's not like she did anything wrong or try to hurt anyone.

She may have done something wrong in his eyes.
It's about being accountable for what you've done. It sucks that she's going through that.
And she, herself, said that she was into him more than he was into her.
I'm saying that she's projecting the feelings she has onto his actions. When it may well be possible that the thought of mind games hasn't even crossed his mind.

If I'm being harsh, then fine. if I'm being a bitch, so be it. *shrug*
But just because I'm not using coddling terminology does not mean that I don't have sympathy for her.

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Posted by BG2

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

I think that's harsh to say. She seems like a nice girl who just got overwhelmed by her feelings.

Have some empathy, it's not like she did anything wrong or try to hurt anyone.

She may have done something wrong in his eyes.
It's about being accountable for what you've done. It sucks that she's going through that.
And she, herself, said that she was into him more than he was into her.
I'm saying that she's projecting the feelings she has onto his actions. When it may well be possible that the thought of mind games hasn't even crossed his mind.

If I'm being harsh, then fine. if I'm being a bitch, so be it. *shrug*
But just because I'm not using coddling terminology does not mean that I don't have sympathy for her.

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Posted by Ohdear
So I have a casual relationship with a guy for about 9 months. I'm way more in to him than he is me and it is always me contacting him first. About 3 weeks Ago I sent a stroppy text as he had ignored a couple of my texts, I didn't get a reply and left it. We always communicate on whatsapp. Saturday night I sent a drunk miss you text, still no reply. Anyway i met some other guy that night and realised I needed to move on from mr casual who clearly isn't interested. I began talking to this new guy on whatsapp. 3 days later I spent a whole evening on whatsapp talking to this new guy oddly that same evening mr casual blocked me on whatsapp. I thought I'd moved on but this has devastated me so much that I didn't even want to meet the new guy for a date ( I did go but my head is obsessed with mr casual again). Was it just coincidence that he blocked me the night I was online for hours or is he playing mind games? He's ghosted before but never blocked me. Why has he decided to block me all of a sudden, if I was annoying him with my messages why didn't he block me when I sent it rather than wait 4 days later when I've made no further contact. I hate how weak this guy makes me !!!

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by Ohdear
So I have a casual relationship with a guy for about 9 months. I'm way more in to him than he is me and it is always me contacting him first. About 3 weeks Ago I sent a stroppy text as he had ignored a couple of my texts, I didn't get a reply and left it. We always communicate on whatsapp. Saturday night I sent a drunk miss you text, still no reply. Anyway i met some other guy that night and realised I needed to move on from mr casual who clearly isn't interested. I began talking to this new guy on whatsapp. 3 days later I spent a whole evening on whatsapp talking to this new guy oddly that same evening mr casual blocked me on whatsapp. I thought I'd moved on but this has devastated me so much that I didn't even want to meet the new guy for a date ( I did go but my head is obsessed with mr casual again). Was it just coincidence that he blocked me the night I was online for hours or is he playing mind games? He's ghosted before but never blocked me. Why has he decided to block me all of a sudden, if I was annoying him with my messages why didn't he block me when I sent it rather than wait 4 days later when I've made no further contact. I hate how weak this guy makes me !!!

You'll get over it hon, don't worry. If he's not into you like you are into him, then that just means there is one that is better for you out there and will treat you the way you deserve and love you as much as you love him. Chin up buttercup, 😉

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Posted by BG2

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by BG2

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

I think that's harsh to say. She seems like a nice girl who just got overwhelmed by her feelings.

Have some empathy, it's not like she did anything wrong or try to hurt anyone.

She may have done something wrong in his eyes.
It's about being accountable for what you've done. It sucks that she's going through that.
And she, herself, said that she was into him more than he was into her.
I'm saying that she's projecting the feelings she has onto his actions. When it may well be possible that the thought of mind games hasn't even crossed his mind.

If I'm being harsh, then fine. if I'm being a bitch, so be it. *shrug*
But just because I'm not using coddling terminology does not mean that I don't have sympathy for her.

"If I'm being harsh, then fine. if I'm being a bitch, so be it. *shrug*" You're so cool..

Anyways.. Whatever, I think it's hilarious when people say things like this and then one day find themselves in the same situation at some point.

Too cool for school...

I do not want to be in that kind of situation. At all.
But don't worry if it does happen to me, I'll be sure to come back here and let you know so you can give me your best 'I told you so' face.
That would, however, be the case IF I were inclined to delve into casual arrangements. And I am not. Never been.

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Posted by starlover

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

I think that's harsh to say. She seems like a nice girl who just got overwhelmed by her feelings.

Have some empathy, it's not like she did anything wrong or try to hurt anyone.

Empathy is a fine thing


🙂

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Posted by tiki33
Since you displayed you are way more into him than he is you, he's attempting to RESET the situationship back to something more casual.

I'm sure you're taking this to heart but it's not that he's rejecting you as if something is wrong with you but it's more about he's just not that into you enough to reciprocate.

He'll be back but until then...

Take this time to reset your heart and mind. Figure out if you are the casual kind of girl or if you truly do want to be in a REAL relationship with someone or if you're accepting something casual in the hope that some day the situation will turn into something real.

Don't ever accept less unless you are 1000% sure you do not want a real relationship. Don't accept less hoping some day it will turn into a fairy tale, as you can see that is not the case, it happens but most women are the rule and not the exception to the rule.

It's okay to tell a man what you're feeling but do it in a MATURE kind of way. Don't wait to get drunk to spill your guts because no one can take that kind of girl seriously. Don't keeping texting and texting after you don't receive a reply, have some self control which is a very attractive trait to have. Having self control demonstrates to a man you will not freak out and become a burden for him mentally and emotionally.

Set up some firm rules and boundaries to protect your heart. Men that prefer casual sex will not be careful with your heart, he will not have a problem hurting your feelings and/or rejecting you for the slightest provocation.

Casual can be fun but without firm rules and boundaries, some kind of self discipline in place things can get bad quickly.

Take the break he's giving you. You need it.

Posted by starlover

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by starlover

Posted by NostalgicCappy

Posted by BG2
If it was casual, as you said, you should have kept it caj.

It's possible that he never wanted anything deep and meaningful with you. You crossed the line with the 'miss you' text and any subsequent texting. So he bailed.

I don't mean to be rude, but you made your bed. Lie in it.

I think that's harsh to say. She seems like a nice girl who just got overwhelmed by her feelings.

Have some empathy, it's not like she did anything wrong or try to hurt anyone.

Empathy is a fine thing


🙂

I agree Starlover, I wish more people would utilize it. 🙂

Me too

You can still suggest that someone cops on to themselves, has self respect etc, but you can do it with empathy and compassion

🙂

Kindness is so refreshing

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Posted by Ohdear
So I have a casual relationship with a guy for about 9 months.

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ohdear
So I have a casual relationship with a guy for about 9 months.

It's not a mind game. It's this.

It's a casual relationship, that's all it is. Period. He owes you nothing.

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Posted by tiki33
" The annoying thing is I know how I should be behaving but just haven't got the self control, he makes me weak, like only one other guy ever has before!!"

I'm an Aquarius so for me it was important to understand how the effects of love affect me. It also helped me understand that when a woman has an orgasm she RELEASES chemicals that form the bonding process.

When we orgasm the brain is like the a person taking heroin during an orgasm. When experiencing orgasm, a person receives the biggest blast of dopamine. Just as the drug addict craves his drug to release the dopamine rush, women can crave the person who gave her an orgasm dopamine rush.

The neurochemical that bonds couples together is oxytocin and this is released in the bloodstream during sex. Oxytocin is considered the “cuddle hormone” or “bonding hormone” that is associated with nurturing and affection that develops in a relationship.

In a woman, the stimulation of the vagina and cervix during sex releases both oxytocin and prolactin which is the same hormones released during pregnancy and nursing that is responsible for creating the bond the Mother feels with her child and this strong primal bond can be transferred over to the male partner which is why you're acting out emotionally. Yes there is a method to your madness.

So think about it. You've decided to have a casual relationship but that doesn't mean this whole chemical process turns off. The moment you lay down with a guy your body will immediately go into chemical over drive. The body does not understand casual, the body and the brain just does what it's created to do.

How you feel is actually natural. Your hormones not only further biochemically bond you to your casual lover but he can become your stress relief, the person that alleviates your stress which can create an even stronger more intense bond between the both of you.

Once a strong bond is established, since not only emotions have bonded, but also brain pathways and hormonal chemistry, the bond does not depend on pleasure to maintain it. You can remain bonded to an unavailable man which is one of the WORST things that can happen to a woman. She's in love all by herself. She doesn't have him to alleviate her stress and anxiety, she doesn't have him to express her love.

Which comes to why I believe FWB situations do not benefit women in the long term only because of the way our bodies are made to react to sex.

For men sex is just sex, fun fun fun but for a lot of women there is this unseen chemical process that can HI-JACK our fun and turn things into a nightmare situation quickly.

It's my personal opinion regarding FWB, I'm not an advocate of it, not b/c it's intrinsically bad or wrong but because most women have the capacity to str

Posted by Ohdear

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ohdear
So I have a casual relationship with a guy for about 9 months.

It's not a mind game. It's this.

It's a casual relationship, that's all it is. Period. He owes you nothing.

It just seemed weird that he's never blocked me before, even when I've gone a bit crazy on him. Then just as I start to move on and spend the evening online to another guy he blocks me that same night. It's probably just a massive coincidence. Thanks for replying

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Posted by littlesparrow
(I haven’t read the whole thread so please excuse me if this has already been covered.)

I am not sure why you think he is playing mind games with you. The relationship has ended so he has deleted you. It might sting a little but it isn’t a mind game. He was probably going to do it eventually anyway.

What if you changed your perspective on this?

Instead of you seeing this as him rejecting you, what if you changed your mind and see it as the universe shutting a door because you have a new opportunity and it is the universe’s way of making sure you don’t go back into a situation that isn’t good for you?

Focus on the new guy.

Posted by Undine

Posted by Ohdear

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ohdear
So I have a casual relationship with a guy for about 9 months.

It's not a mind game. It's this.

It's a casual relationship, that's all it is. Period. He owes you nothing.

It just seemed weird that he's never blocked me before, even when I've gone a bit crazy on him. Then just as I start to move on and spend the evening online to another guy he blocks me that same night. It's probably just a massive coincidence. Thanks for replying

I think you want an answer to this "coincidence". This is my opinion: he decided to dump you days before he blocked you, that is why he ignored you ever since. On the day he blocked you, he may have simply got annoyed by seeing you online, which reminded him of what a coward he was going MIA.

I don't see any game playing here, or any "coincidence". For example, my ex boyfriend blocked me on FB weeks after we stopped communicating. I imagined he got annoyed with my name/pic coming on his searches. I blocked him as well, and I will never bother to unblock him. No hard feelings, it just helped me move on.

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