AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus
Comments: 14265 · Posts: 5321 · Topics: 61
My Sag and I had a huge argument. (Page 2)
You are on page out of 3 | Reverse Order
Posted by Sleepyquantro1Posted by Wizardz_
He obv called you to find out if you had done that and wasn't really interested in your story lol
Sounds like a big mutual escalation and prob nothing to do with the actual conversation but something deeper going on, some unresolved conflict you have going on between you?
Agree with the 1st 2 lines
I had a sag friend like this! He’d call and act like he wanted to talk to me, but at the end of every convo, he’d be asking for something, to borrow money mostly. 😕
He also would do the cut of thing, mid sentence 😂
Now after the 1st couple times, I knew that his fake concern was just a smoke 💨 screen to conceal his ulterior motive. I purposely let it happen several times, just to observe. Once I had no doubt, I told him off, and them cut him off.
The thing is, the biggest insult was the insult to my intelligence. The fact that he thought 💭 by making small talk, pretending to care, that I’d be clueless to what he was doing.
I’m all for being there for friends, I like my friends to know they can count on me when the need arises, but you won’t use me.
A friend won’t call ONLY when they need something.click to expand
I can relate. Like, ouch, motherfucker.
Posted by DMV
Jail is a transactional place.
Quid pro quo
It is a what have you done for me lately kind of place
People in jail don’t make friends, they make transactional associates who can provide something.
Make sure you’re not a transactional associate
I cannot say that this is true or false.. He has looked out for me as well..
Posted by Wizardz_Posted by MaxianPosted by Wizardz_Posted by Easha23000usPosted by Maxian
Why bother asking about your day if he's not willing to listen.
Those 27 dollars can wait, it's not the end of the world. If it's so pressing he can transfer it himself!
He is in prison...
That's quite important information
How do prison phones work? He might have had limited time and needed to rush things or be stressed out
What is the 27 dollars for? It might be much more of a big deal when he is in prison. Maybe he feels helpless and he hates asking you to do it for him - that could definitely be under the surface and cause impatience. I suspect it is something to do with that. It sucks to be dependent on someone, hoping they will do something you ask them and they don't realise it is stressing you and you are reliant on them because you can't do it yourself. I think that made him angry, it's covering up his feelings of helplessness being stuck in prison and unable to do this simple thing himself. He just wanted to know you had done it asap so he could not have to feel that way anymore, knowing it was done and meanwhile you were unknowingly talking about your day not realising his impatience and stress bubbling away underneath
He could have led with that if it was pressing and skip the formalities for later if there was time. HE is the one asking for money and in a situation, so she could have reacted accordingly.
I suspect he didn't want to jump straight in hassling her about it so he started with a "how's your day?" hoping for a "fine" and then he could say "cool, by the way have you sent that money?" but then lost patience halfway thru the long storyclick to expand
😒
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?click to expand
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by saggurl88
You know me 😏😅
👀click to expand
😅😅😅😅😅
Maybe minus the sex part 😆
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by MaxianPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Maxian
Why bother asking about your day if he's not willing to listen.
Those 27 dollars can wait, it's not the end of the world. If it's so pressing he can transfer it himself!
This
He’s a dead giveway
Selfish 🥴
There's more going on than just selfish 😅
🥴
Let's hear your opinion......click to expand
I’d not expect anything ie support, true friendship etc from a guy who is inside. He has baggage to deal with so is probably looking for help from others.
What do you see happening with him?
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by Sleepyquantro1Posted by Wizardz_
He obv called you to find out if you had done that and wasn't really interested in your story lol
Sounds like a big mutual escalation and prob nothing to do with the actual conversation but something deeper going on, some unresolved conflict you have going on between you?
Agree with the 1st 2 lines
I had a sag friend like this! He’d call and act like he wanted to talk to me, but at the end of every convo, he’d be asking for something, to borrow money mostly. 😕
He also would do the cut of thing, mid sentence 😂
Now after the 1st couple times, I knew that his fake concern was just a smoke 💨 screen to conceal his ulterior motive. I purposely let it happen several times, just to observe. Once I had no doubt, I told him off, and them cut him off.
The thing is, the biggest insult was the insult to my intelligence. The fact that he thought 💭 by making small talk, pretending to care, that I’d be clueless to what he was doing.
I’m all for being there for friends, I like my friends to know they can count on me when the need arises, but you won’t use me.
A friend won’t call ONLY when they need something.
I can relate. Like, ouch, motherfucker.click to expand
Right! People taking kindness for weakness, can sometimes be an understatement. It’s a shame you can’t just be nice, without people thinking they can get over.
👎🏽 I will flip a switch on their a $ $ es as quick as they blink😂…I’m kind but far from stupid, and definitely far from weak 😒
Posted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"click to expand
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
Posted by Sleepyquantro1Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by Sleepyquantro1Posted by Wizardz_
He obv called you to find out if you had done that and wasn't really interested in your story lol
Sounds like a big mutual escalation and prob nothing to do with the actual conversation but something deeper going on, some unresolved conflict you have going on between you?
Agree with the 1st 2 lines
I had a sag friend like this! He’d call and act like he wanted to talk to me, but at the end of every convo, he’d be asking for something, to borrow money mostly. 😕
He also would do the cut of thing, mid sentence 😂
Now after the 1st couple times, I knew that his fake concern was just a smoke 💨 screen to conceal his ulterior motive. I purposely let it happen several times, just to observe. Once I had no doubt, I told him off, and them cut him off.
The thing is, the biggest insult was the insult to my intelligence. The fact that he thought 💭 by making small talk, pretending to care, that I’d be clueless to what he was doing.
I’m all for being there for friends, I like my friends to know they can count on me when the need arises, but you won’t use me.
A friend won’t call ONLY when they need something.
I can relate. Like, ouch, motherfucker.
Right! People taking kindness for weakness, can sometimes be an understatement. It’s a shame you can’t just be nice, without people thinking they can get over.
👎🏽 I will flip a switch on their a $ $ es as quick as they blink😂…I’m kind but far from stupid, and definitely far from weak 😒click to expand
Amen. My new bracelet says, “Do no harm” and inside “But take no shit!” My credo I guess lol
Posted by MyStarsShinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by MaxianPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by Maxian
Why bother asking about your day if he's not willing to listen.
Those 27 dollars can wait, it's not the end of the world. If it's so pressing he can transfer it himself!
This
He’s a dead giveway
Selfish 🥴
There's more going on than just selfish 😅
🥴
Let's hear your opinion......
I’d not expect anything ie support, true friendship etc from a guy who is inside. He has baggage to deal with so is probably looking for help from others.
What do you see happening with him?click to expand
He will be home next year...Once he gets out, we will take it from there.
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.click to expand
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Posted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).click to expand
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?
Posted by WarAngel
Quite simply: he was being rude and only really concerned with you doing the $ 27 transaction.
I don't give a damn if he's locked up or not, that's not how you treat anybody, especially if you ask them a question and didn't let them answer first.
You hung up on him the right way the first time. You should not have picked up the phone again and as soon as he starts cussing you out, let that damn phone ring for a day or two.
Only consider completing the transaction if he actually knows how to apologize.
Exactly!! This^^^^^
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?click to expand
If you have respect for anyone calling you, have a conversation with them, not a monologue.
He didn't talk over you, he asked you a question with a "yes or no" answer. It would have taken you two seconds to answer before finishing your story.
Posted by UndinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?
If you have respect for anyone calling you, have a conversation with them, not a monologue.
He didn't talk over you, he asked you a question with a "yes or no" answer. It would have taken you two seconds to answer before finishing your story.click to expand
Are you dumb, or stupid— Asking someone how was their day is not a yes or no question... He is my man, so of course I am going to sprinkle in the details... If it was so urgent for him to get answers for his questions, he should have skipped the formalities and headed with that...
Posted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).click to expand
Enquire about the other person before answering the question asked of you? Yes, I can say we disagree.
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?click to expand
My thoughts exactly.
Posted by NotMadHatter
The guy's locked up for murder.... he got time on his hands.. he can wait for the story to be over before he talks, regardless of how boring the story is.. he in a rush to get back to Bubba's arms? Motherfucker need to start acting like the captive audience he is.
This is funny...Lol!
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by Gobbie
So, your partner is in prison and probably has a limited amount of time on the phone with you.
He warned you that he was about to interject and asked a simple yes/no question, which was important to him (and probably his well-being whilst inside).
You forgot to do something he asked of you, but you got bitchy because you wanted to vent about something and wanted his undivided attention.
It's very ironic that your partner is a prisoner... but you wanted to imprison him further with your ego.
*smh*
Btw, don't start threads asking if it's your fault, when obviously all you seek is validation.
HE SHOULD HAVE STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH WHAT HE WANTED TO ASK ME.. WHY ASK ME HOW WAS MY DAY, AND WHAT I WAS DOING? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME, OR WAIT UNTIL I WAS DONE SPEAKING...THAT WOULD HAVE NULLED THE WHOLE ARGUMENT. AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE SHOULD HAVEB APOLOGIZED..THAT WOULD HAVE SOFTEN THE BLOW.click to expand
Posted by GobbiePosted by Easha23000usPosted by Easha23000usPosted by Gobbie
So, your partner is in prison and probably has a limited amount of time on the phone with you.
He warned you that he was about to interject and asked a simple yes/no question, which was important to him (and probably his well-being whilst inside).
You forgot to do something he asked of you, but you got bitchy because you wanted to vent about something and wanted his undivided attention.
It's very ironic that your partner is a prisoner... but you wanted to imprison him further with your ego.
*smh*
Btw, don't start threads asking if it's your fault, when obviously all you seek is validation.
HE SHOULD HAVE STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH WHAT HE WANTED TO ASK ME.. WHY ASK ME HOW WAS MY DAY, AND WHAT I WAS DOING? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME, OR WAIT UNTIL I WAS DONE SPEAKING...THAT WOULD HAVE NULLED THE WHOLE ARGUMENT. AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE SHOULD HAVEB APOLOGIZED..THAT WOULD HAVE SOFTEN THE BLOW.
That's controlling behaviour.
You're being selfish and you know it.Oh shut up.click to expand
Posted by Hypnotoad
Damn here I am working my ass off tryna get ahead, still single af.
Then you got this guy here in jail yelling at his gf over the phone fml
The irony🙄
Posted by GobbiePosted by Easha23000usPosted by GobbiePosted by Easha23000usPosted by Easha23000usPosted by Gobbie
So, your partner is in prison and probably has a limited amount of time on the phone with you.
He warned you that he was about to interject and asked a simple yes/no question, which was important to him (and probably his well-being whilst inside).
You forgot to do something he asked of you, but you got bitchy because you wanted to vent about something and wanted his undivided attention.
It's very ironic that your partner is a prisoner... but you wanted to imprison him further with your ego.
*smh*
Btw, don't start threads asking if it's your fault, when obviously all you seek is validation.
HE SHOULD HAVE STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH WHAT HE WANTED TO ASK ME.. WHY ASK ME HOW WAS MY DAY, AND WHAT I WAS DOING? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME, OR WAIT UNTIL I WAS DONE SPEAKING...THAT WOULD HAVE NULLED THE WHOLE ARGUMENT. AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE SHOULD HAVEB APOLOGIZED..THAT WOULD HAVE SOFTEN THE BLOW.
That's controlling behaviour.
You're being selfish and you know it.Oh shut up.
I rest my case.click to expand
By calling me selfish, but not seeing the error of his ways? Sure, well rested.
Both of you were in a mood and took it out on each other. Question is who is gonna swallow their pride first and say sorry.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Both of you were in a mood and took it out on each other. Question is who is gonna swallow their pride first and say sorry.
I will apologize for my part...
Yeah I think it got escalated on nothing
Posted by GobbiePosted by Easha23000usPosted by Easha23000usPosted by Gobbie
So, your partner is in prison and probably has a limited amount of time on the phone with you.
He warned you that he was about to interject and asked a simple yes/no question, which was important to him (and probably his well-being whilst inside).
You forgot to do something he asked of you, but you got bitchy because you wanted to vent about something and wanted his undivided attention.
It's very ironic that your partner is a prisoner... but you wanted to imprison him further with your ego.
*smh*
Btw, don't start threads asking if it's your fault, when obviously all you seek is validation.
HE SHOULD HAVE STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH WHAT HE WANTED TO ASK ME.. WHY ASK ME HOW WAS MY DAY, AND WHAT I WAS DOING? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME, OR WAIT UNTIL I WAS DONE SPEAKING...THAT WOULD HAVE NULLED THE WHOLE ARGUMENT. AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE SHOULD HAVEB APOLOGIZED..THAT WOULD HAVE SOFTEN THE BLOW.
That's controlling behaviour.
You're being selfish and you know it.click to expand
I got to agree op , you want to control how he speaks and even starts a conversation. That’s how it appears to me. Remember he is not you. You got to account on n some leeway on human nature
Posted by TruemaraPosted by GobbiePosted by Easha23000usPosted by Easha23000usPosted by Gobbie
So, your partner is in prison and probably has a limited amount of time on the phone with you.
He warned you that he was about to interject and asked a simple yes/no question, which was important to him (and probably his well-being whilst inside).
Ok..I am learning..
You forgot to do something he asked of you, but you got bitchy because you wanted to vent about something and wanted his undivided attention.
It's very ironic that your partner is a prisoner... but you wanted to imprison him further with your ego.
*smh*
Btw, don't start threads asking if it's your fault, when obviously all you seek is validation.
HE SHOULD HAVE STARTED THE CONVERSATION WITH WHAT HE WANTED TO ASK ME.. WHY ASK ME HOW WAS MY DAY, AND WHAT I WAS DOING? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED ME, OR WAIT UNTIL I WAS DONE SPEAKING...THAT WOULD HAVE NULLED THE WHOLE ARGUMENT. AND TO TOP IT OFF, HE SHOULD HAVEB APOLOGIZED..THAT WOULD HAVE SOFTEN THE BLOW.
That's controlling behaviour.
You're being selfish and you know it.
I got to agree op , you want to control how he speaks and even starts a conversation. That’s how it appears to me. Remember he is not you. You got to account on n some leeway on human natureclick to expand
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by LadyNeptune
Both of you were in a mood and took it out on each other. Question is who is gonna swallow their pride first and say sorry.
I will apologize for my part...click to expand
Hopefully he can meet you halfway.
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Surely you've been interrupted before, and happened to interrupt someone yourself? Many people are fine with it!
For those who are not, you are more suited with a slow speaking partner. Or learn to object without causing unnecessary drama. Or improve your story telling, so you could captivate the audience....
https://news.stanford.edu/2018/05/02/exploring-interruption-conversation/
I’m an interrupting cow but I still have the sense to patiently wait until someone has finished their thought, especially if they bring it to my attention in a courteous way.
Your statement has at least two contradictions, though...
interrupting versus patient
have the sense to versus they (have to) bring to my attention
And you know what...you are still lovely!
I’m a contradictory type I think 🤷♀️ and thank you! I try 😊click to expand
haha, you got caught. That's like my Taurus Merc's biggest fear that someone catches my gem moon bullshit. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, it's that my Taurus merc and virgo rising has to go into overload trying to make that shit look straightened out.
And fuck em for assuming there is only one right answer anyway
Posted by poppyflowerPosted by AstrobynPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Surely you've been interrupted before, and happened to interrupt someone yourself? Many people are fine with it!
For those who are not, you are more suited with a slow speaking partner. Or learn to object without causing unnecessary drama. Or improve your story telling, so you could captivate the audience....
https://news.stanford.edu/2018/05/02/exploring-interruption-conversation/
I’m an interrupting cow but I still have the sense to patiently wait until someone has finished their thought, especially if they bring it to my attention in a courteous way.
Your statement has at least two contradictions, though...
interrupting versus patient
have the sense to versus they (have to) bring to my attention
And you know what...you are still lovely!
I’m a contradictory type I think 🤷♀️ and thank you! I try 😊
haha, you got caught. That's like my Taurus Merc's biggest fear that someone catches my gem moon bullshit. It's not that I'm ashamed of it, it's that my Taurus merc and virgo rising has to go into overload trying to make that shit look straightened out.
And fuck em for assuming there is only one right answer anyway
At least yours got a partner. Mine is like a lone babysitter to my fire and air. 😛click to expand
we should start a support group, where we let our gem moon flag fly, where it can constantly change its stream of consciousness, depending on how the wind blows
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?
If you have respect for anyone calling you, have a conversation with them, not a monologue.
He didn't talk over you, he asked you a question with a "yes or no" answer. It would have taken you two seconds to answer before finishing your story.
Are you dumb, or stupid— Asking someone how was their day is not a yes or no question... He is my man, so of course I am going to sprinkle in the details... If it was so urgent for him to get answers for his questions, he should have skipped the formalities and headed with that...click to expand
Do you think he’s made you more of an aggressive person?
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Enquire about the other person before answering the question asked of you? Yes, I can say we disagree.click to expand
No, this is what I said: Give a short answer. Ask the same about them. Then expand on your conversation. Dialogue, not monologue.
In Ireland
“Hello, how are you? Fine day/soft day/at least its dry”
Etc etc
Nobody’s in a rush .... always time for the chat
😄
“Hello, how are you? Fine day/soft day/at least its dry”
Etc etc
Nobody’s in a rush .... always time for the chat
😄
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?
If you have respect for anyone calling you, have a conversation with them, not a monologue.
He didn't talk over you, he asked you a question with a "yes or no" answer. It would have taken you two seconds to answer before finishing your story.
Are you dumb, or stupid— Asking someone how was their day is not a yes or no question... He is my man, so of course I am going to sprinkle in the details... If it was so urgent for him to get answers for his questions, he should have skipped the formalities and headed with that...click to expand
His question if you paid or not was a yes or no question, dumbo.
Stop pretending you want honest feedback from us, while only listening to those who are here to kiss someone else's arse.
Good luck with finding a partner with your attitude. Even prisoners desperate for contact seem to think you are a waste of time, lol.
Posted by Easha23000usPosted by PhoenixRising
Fault? I think if you're looking to move forward you can't really be stuck on that. Basically, he seemed more concerned about what you did/didn't do for him (e.g. $ 27 cash app) than how you were doing (the question he actually asked). From there, gasoline was thrown into a pile of fire, pun intended. You should have simply told the man that you didn't appreciate him pretending to care about your day, when he really called about the $ 27, told him you didn't send the funds and simply continue your story instead of "blasting him" for cutting you off since the former (why he really called) is what seems to be the real trigger here. If you're jumping from 1 to 10 over being cut off, how exactly can you cuss him out for jumping from 1 to 10 for being called rude?
Yeah, his interruption may have been irritating, especially if it's a habit, however I am sure you both do that to each other. If cutting you off is a habit of his, then you simply tell him it's a something you don't like, please work on it. "Blasting him" for that oppose to simply informing him you don't like it when he does it made this a much bigger deal than it needed to be. The swearing on his end was unnecessary I agree, and I am sure some would say "blasting him" was just as unnecessary. So again fault? Both. You both contributed to this situation and lost your tempers unnecessarily.
Lol, like why did you even pick up the phone after hanging up on him? If you were done with the conversation , be done with it and give yourself space to simmer down.
This is true..I picked up the second time, hoping that he would see the error in his ways, and apologize.click to expand
You're both Sags (you with a Leo Moon) and he has a Sag Stellium. When was the last time you initiated an apology---in the heat of the moment---when you've been strong and wrong? You also know your man, so why would you think an apology was coming right after you hung up on him when he was in that state? In the moment, neither of you thought you were wrong in your position or approach, so it wasn't going to drop back to a calm conversation and it wouldn't have started in the first place if you could stay calm. As you both simmer down, you'll see it differently and take the appropriate steps.
It's funny because I think on some level you recognize his limitations as a prisoner and feel he should be acting accordingly, while he does not, hence your approach with each other. It seems to be a comfortable relationship of convenience and confusion.
Posted by DMVPosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?
If you have respect for anyone calling you, have a conversation with them, not a monologue.
He didn't talk over you, he asked you a question with a "yes or no" answer. It would have taken you two seconds to answer before finishing your story.
Are you dumb, or stupid— Asking someone how was their day is not a yes or no question... He is my man, so of course I am going to sprinkle in the details... If it was so urgent for him to get answers for his questions, he should have skipped the formalities and headed with that...
Do you think he’s made you more of an aggressive person?click to expand
Now you know that I have been here long enough for you to know that I was already aggressive...
Posted by GammaArietis
I just thought about this more. YOU have to pay to accept his calls, right? If so, then yeah, he should have shut up and listened about your day.
I have an account with them...Yes, I pay for it..
Posted by UndinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by Easha23000usPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by UndinePosted by AbbyNormalPosted by Undine
Also, I don't know how it's in the US, but here everyone starts a conversation with "how was your day", ""how is it going" "how are you doing".
It's just a polite way as speaking, lol.
But the actual polite part is listening to the answer of the asked question. Maybe I’m crazy?
It's not really a question that demands a rambling for an answer...The polite reply is: "My day has been fine. How is yours?"
Agree to disagree, I guess. When I ask a question, I genuinely care.
We don't disagree. I'm sure you care. If the other person also cares though, they should enquire about you before starting rambling about themselves (and getting their knickers in a twist when interrupted, lol).
Ummm No. If a person ask me about my day, have enough respect to hear it out...Don'tcha think?
If you have respect for anyone calling you, have a conversation with them, not a monologue.
He didn't talk over you, he asked you a question with a "yes or no" answer. It would have taken you two seconds to answer before finishing your story.
Are you dumb, or stupid— Asking someone how was their day is not a yes or no question... He is my man, so of course I am going to sprinkle in the details... If it was so urgent for him to get answers for his questions, he should have skipped the formalities and headed with that...
His question if you paid or not was a yes or no question, dumbo.
Stop pretending you want honest feedback from us, while only listening to those who are here to kiss someone else's arse.
Good luck with finding a partner with your attitude. Even prisoners desperate for contact seem to think you are a waste of time, lol.click to expand
Cookie monster, first of all, I was already answering his question before he interrupted my answer...It was not a yes or no question imbecile...Stop trying to be a genius, and stick to what you know...And FYI, He is not too tired of me, if he calls several times a day...Sucks to be you... How is your love life? Of course, nonexistent..
This argument would've not even been a thing if he was out. But because you can't see him, hold him, talk to him and your time is very limited this interruption seemed much bigger than it actually was.
Its the circumstances that are causing the rift. Circumstances you didn't ask for but have to deal with none the less.
The amount of stress and anxiety of having a loved one locked up is not something you can empathize with unless you've been through it.
Try to be kinder with one another. Because if you can't rely on each other for kindness rn then what even is the point.
Its the circumstances that are causing the rift. Circumstances you didn't ask for but have to deal with none the less.
The amount of stress and anxiety of having a loved one locked up is not something you can empathize with unless you've been through it.
Try to be kinder with one another. Because if you can't rely on each other for kindness rn then what even is the point.
Posted by LadyNeptune
This argument would've not even been a thing if he was out. But because you can't see him, hold him, talk to him and your time is very limited this interruption seemed much bigger than it actually was.
Its the circumstances that are causing the rift. Circumstances you didn't ask for but have to deal with none the less.
The amount of stress and anxiety of having a loved one locked up is not something you can empathize with unless you've been through it.
Try to be kinder with one another. Because if you can't rely on each other for kindness rn then what even is the point.
Thank you..
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Easha23000usPosted by PhoenixRising
Fault? I think if you're looking to move forward you can't really be stuck on that. Basically, he seemed more concerned about what you did/didn't do for him (e.g. $ 27 cash app) than how you were doing (the question he actually asked). From there, gasoline was thrown into a pile of fire, pun intended. You should have simply told the man that you didn't appreciate him pretending to care about your day, when he really called about the $ 27, told him you didn't send the funds and simply continue your story instead of "blasting him" for cutting you off since the former (why he really called) is what seems to be the real trigger here. If you're jumping from 1 to 10 over being cut off, how exactly can you cuss him out for jumping from 1 to 10 for being called rude?
Yeah, his interruption may have been irritating, especially if it's a habit, however I am sure you both do that to each other. If cutting you off is a habit of his, then you simply tell him it's a something you don't like, please work on it. "Blasting him" for that oppose to simply informing him you don't like it when he does it made this a much bigger deal than it needed to be. The swearing on his end was unnecessary I agree, and I am sure some would say "blasting him" was just as unnecessary. So again fault? Both. You both contributed to this situation and lost your tempers unnecessarily.
Lol, like why did you even pick up the phone after hanging up on him? If you were done with the conversation , be done with it and give yourself space to simmer down.
This is true..I picked up the second time, hoping that he would see the error in his ways, and apologize.
You're both Sags (you with a Leo Moon) and he has a Sag Stellium. When was the last time you initiated an apology---in the heat of the moment---when you've been strong and wrong? You also know your man, so why would you think an apology was coming right after you hung up on him when he was in that state? In the moment, neither of you thought you were wrong in your position or approach, so it wasn't going to drop back to a calm conversation and it wouldn't have started in the first place if you could stay calm. As you both simmer down, you'll see it differently and take the appropriate steps.
It's funny because I think on some level you recognize his limitations as a prisoner and feel he should be acting accordingly, while he does not, hence your approach with each other. It seems to be a comfortable relationship of convenience and confusion.click to expand
I was thinking the same
Super natural to feel superior to convicts
this why friendship > romance coz if you treated each other as you would good friends, there would've been some measure of patience and respect that would've made him ask about your drive through the snowstorm and even if not, there would've been a gentle apology about the interruption at least. and you wouldn't have reacted with the lover's ego of romanticism.
that movement really poisoned the wells of genuine love.
that movement really poisoned the wells of genuine love.
Posted by Easha23000us
Saturday morning, he calls me, and ask me how I was doing, and I proceeded to tell him about my experience driving home in the snow storm the night prior. Mid sentence, he says, I have to cut you off, but did you cash app the 27 dollars to the person that I asked you to? i then told him that I had forgot, but blasted him for cutting me off mid sentence, and his response was, I told you that I have to cut you off. I said to him, that that could have waited until I was done speaking, and instead of him apologizing, he says, it's too early in the morning for this butter. I then said to him that his behavior was rude, and he stated that it wasn't, and I am making a big deal out of nothing. I said to him that he is not going to be rude to me, and if he do not know, I will teach him...You will learn today.. He then starts to curse and tell me that I am making a big deal out of this, to which I hang up on him. He calls me back, and Says, did you hang up on me? And commence to cursing again. He says to me, hang up again. Hang up the f*cking phone again, while becoming aggressive and irate. It got to the point that I could not take how he was speaking to me, and I hung up on him again. He did not call back... I need advise.. Was this my fault?
Hanging up on people is a no no.
Meh…. That was just an opener because I can’t just be like you do what I asked as soon as you say hello. It’s more like hey before you go into a 30 min conversation about the snow being slippery can you answer this question then continue…
I do it all the time. Normally because I don’t want to be thinking about something I have to say for an hour before I say it. If you want him to be rude and to the point let him know.
It’s basically like saying hey how are you, don’t really care but it’s what you are supposed to say
I do it all the time. Normally because I don’t want to be thinking about something I have to say for an hour before I say it. If you want him to be rude and to the point let him know.
It’s basically like saying hey how are you, don’t really care but it’s what you are supposed to say
Posted by hellosaggy
Meh…. That was just an opener because I can’t just be like you do what I asked as soon as you say hello. It’s more like hey before you go into a 30 min conversation about the snow being slippery can you answer this question then continue…
I do it all the time. Normally because I don’t want to be thinking about something I have to say for an hour before I say it. If you want him to be rude and to the point let him know.
It’s basically like saying hey how are you, don’t really care but it’s what you are supposed to say
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