how to stroke the scorpio guy's ego

I've recently had the uncomfortable thought, that my scorp's insecurities might also have something to do with my failure to stroke his ego and really make him feel masculine. I do embrace my own femininity, and behave/dress like a woman and like it that way. On the other hand, I've been raised by my single mother to be independent and self-sufficient. Also, my boyfriend comes from a more patriarchal culture than I, so this also becomes apparent at times. I want to be his ego boost, but I really don't know how. Other males's attention does the opposite, sometimes I get the feeling he'd rather have me walk around all wrapped up so no one can see me. I'm wondering, if restoring his self-confidence wouldn't be the solution to the jealousy issue too.

So what could a woman do to boost your ego, scorp guys? And ladies, any advices on how to make him man up, in a good way?

This may by the way, also be a general question about males, not scorpios in particular. I just feel like, scorpio's have an even vulnerable ego, and I'm beginning to worry that I have been too insensible to that so far...¥

With action, not words.

If your mind is set on "making him man up" you're off to the wrong start.

When it comes to other men's attentions, hold him closer. Someone starts flirting with you or just talking to you, wrap your arm in his or lean into him, and away from the other guy.

Posted by GuardianAnu
With action, not words.

If your mind is set on "making him man up" you're off to the wrong start.

I don't mind him being sensitive an emotional and a bit more feminine in his behavior at times, but I just want him to feel good about himself again (he still had that manly ego at the beginning of the relationship). I've always wanted him to feel proud to have me, but instead it intimidates him more than it boosts his ego. We are in a LDR for six more months, so physically showing him that he's my man is difficult. When we do see each other though, I am always really touchy and a little possessive myself, not even intentionally.

Aww yeah that's tough, I am in an LDR as well. Do you webcam often? I webcam with mine with skype dates every day, we watch movies together on skype and play video games together. I don't know if you two share hobbies you can do like that online or not but it helps.

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Scorpio guys like to feel needed. If you're "too independent" or free-spirited they hate that. You needing them strokes their ego. At the same time you can't be too needy because that's a turn off too. Make them think you need them without being needy and you're good to go.

Unfortunately, for the sake of maintaining the long distance relationship, we've both had to compromise a little. There was a time it was absolutely unbearable without him and I was just miserable and needed him, and he in return felt miserable for not being able to be there for me. So ever since he's wanted me to be strong for the time we're apart, and I do my best to stay strong. It's kind of a shitty situation, because I do need him, and he really wants to be my caretaker, but over the distance, it just doesn't work that way.

Posted by GuardianAnu
Aww yeah that's tough, I am in an LDR as well. Do you webcam often? I webcam with mine with skype dates every day, we watch movies together on skype and play video games together. I don't know if you two share hobbies you can do like that online or not but it helps.

The LDR isn't really the problem. We've been in one for 1 and a half years now, and communication works as good as it can get I guess. We also watch movies together and skype a lot. The issues are really only his jealousy, his paranoia of not knowing how many guys look at or talk to me or compliment me. A lot of underlying insecurities that I wish I could help him to work on. I am not the most lovey-dovey girlfriend, but I do genuinely love him with all my heart and am ready for one or the other sacrifice.

Posted by moondust

Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Scorpio guys like to feel needed. If you're "too independent" or free-spirited they hate that. You needing them strokes their ego. At the same time you can't be too needy because that's a turn off too. Make them think you need them without being needy and you're good to go.

Yes! They feel like they're not needed by independent/detached partners. That happened to me actually, some people consider me kind of aloof (I just need some space and patience). I can't act like someone who I'm not, so instead I started to express my feelings more, through actions.

click to expand

For an aqua, I've learned to be more expressive about my emotions and less detached fairly quickly, so those aqua ways aren't really the issue I think /hope.

Posted by aquamila

Posted by GuardianAnu
Aww yeah that's tough, I am in an LDR as well. Do you webcam often? I webcam with mine with skype dates every day, we watch movies together on skype and play video games together. I don't know if you two share hobbies you can do like that online or not but it helps.

The LDR isn't really the problem. We've been in one for 1 and a half years now, and communication works as good as it can get I guess. We also watch movies together and skype a lot. The issues are really only his jealousy, his paranoia of not knowing how many guys look at or talk to me or compliment me. A lot of underlying insecurities that I wish I could help him to work on. I am not the most lovey-dovey girlfriend, but I do genuinely love him with all my heart and am ready for one or the other sacrifice.

click to expand

Hmmm, yeah not a lot you can really do about that other than be as lovey dovey as you can from a distance. I hope things improve for you both, insecurity is painful for both parties, but moreso in the one who has it, they have to go to sleep, wake up and go about their day with their feelings.

Posted by Impulsv
Ldr does not work for Scorpio's
Because all the negative scenario is will rule our minds . If we are there n we can see it gives is peace of mind. We are not cut out for it as the imagination wil creep up
At least for me scorp sun Venus Mars.

Yeah, he has his Venus in Scorpio too” And we've also been there, multiple times, thinking that it just can't work with the distance, but somehow it has for 3/4 of the time we have to be apart. We both decided, we'd rather make the commitment, and suffer for a couple more months, than lose each other now. And yes, all you said is 100% true and he suffers a lot from it. Negativity, imagination, even nightmares. When he's with me he sleeps like an angel. When we're apart he barely sleeps at all and has nightmares that haunt him all day or even week.£ He insists to pull it through and I also want it so badly, but it honestly hurts me to see him suffer. And I'm pretty much powerless.

Posted by aquamila

I'm wondering, if restoring his self-confidence wouldn't be the solution to the jealousy issue too.

Lol @ restore. It's not like you took it from him, it wasn't there to begin with. If anything, having you in his life has shed some light over that fact.

Posted by aquamila The issues are really only his jealousy, his paranoia of not knowing how many guys look at or talk to me or compliment me. A lot of underlying insecurities that I wish I could help him to work on. I am not the most lovey-dovey girlfriend, but I do genuinely love him with all my heart and am ready for one or the other sacrifice.

I think being long-distance makes ppl lose track of eachother, which in turn makes you needy in areas that you aren't usually needy.

@Impulsv what experiences did you make with ldr?
I started meditating not long ago, I will definitely try and see if I can convince him to do that with me lol

@busyeyes I really just feel like he has some underlying security issues, that are uncovered by the distance and jealousy, and I don't mean to fake affection or make fake compliments. I have so much love for him and all that he is, I'm just trying to find a way to make him feel better about himself. It's gotten to the point where he sometimes says he thinks he's unworthy of me. I just want to convince him of the opposite, even over the distance.

You know, maybe it is not you or anything you have done that is making him feel insecure. Maybe it is other people's comments on your LDR arrangement giving him their unsolicited shitty opinions about it, and I am speaking from experience here, people love to talk shit about something they do not understand, and they probably have their hearts in the right places when they tell us stuff like "what if he/she meets someone else?" and maybe that is eating at him.

He probably doesn't tell you ever single instance where this happens, I know it has happened to me enough times to make me want to slap a bitch, but I keep on keepin' on... and I don't always tell him when I hear these things because it upsets us both, and we are both sick of hearing those kinds of comments. Even if they are said rarely, they can definitely eat at your brain if you are somebody who thinks too much.

tell him his small testicles are the biggest you've seen

Posted by Impulsv
Ldr does not work for Scorpio's
Because all the negative scenario is will rule our minds . If we are there n we can see it gives is peace of mind. We are not cut out for it as the imagination wil creep up
At least for me scorp sun Venus Mars.

It's been working for my scorp (sun, moon, venus, mercury and jupiter) and we've been together for over 5 years. Maybe I got lucky or I am good at maintaining trust, as I have my own trust issues so I deal with those by treating him how I would like to be treated and I get that back in spades.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by GuardianAnu
Aww yeah that's tough, I am in an LDR as well. Do you webcam often? I webcam with mine with skype dates every day, we watch movies together on skype and play video games together. I don't know if you two share hobbies you can do like that online or not but it helps.

Nice. = )

I sometimes video chat with my gf while we both fall sleep. I know - it sounds weird. We don't even really talk when we do that.

click to expand

That's not weird, that's sweet.
My pisces friend does that with her taurus beau. I've done that too, it's comforting.
My scorp gave me a tablet for christmas so now I can use skype in bed, as our time differences are 8 hours apart so bed time is not the same for us.

@GuardianAnu I'm happy that it worked out for you, thank you for your thoughtful responses ☺ï¸ The people talking definitely was a problem in the beginning of the relationship ( he has lots of female friends that would probably kill to get my place arrgh) but by now, everyone we know has stopped putting us down, but instead are really supportive of the relationship. It has been really hard, to establish a basis of trust that will remain stable, because he is so sensitive and gets jealous so easily. But I think we finally achieved that. When we are together, he is much more relaxed and it gives him a lot of security to have me near.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by GuardianAnu
Aww yeah that's tough, I am in an LDR as well. Do you webcam often? I webcam with mine with skype dates every day, we watch movies together on skype and play video games together. I don't know if you two share hobbies you can do like that online or not but it helps.

Nice. = )

I sometimes video chat with my gf while we both fall sleep. I know - it sounds weird. We don't even really talk when we do that.

click to expand

Aww we do that too🙈 rarely though. He's not the kind to find that cute, rather impractical lol. He loves watching me sleep though and I love it to watch him fall asleep. That Aries moon makes him sooo impatient though

@DonnaElvira77 Yes that's a good advice. Lately actually I have paid a lot, during a 3-day trip that I gave him as a present. I thought I was doing him a favor, and only later I realized that he might not have appreciated that as much

@Reincarnation how long have you been in a ldr? And how much to go? How did you cope?

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by aquamila
@Reincarnation how long have you been in a ldr? And how much to go? How did you cope?

I've done it for a year.

I coped just fine. No problems.

click to expand

Happy it's working out for you 🙂 All the best fro the future too

Posted by DonnaElvira77
To be honest putting pressure on yourself to constantly up someone out of a funk ....it must be hard on you. I don't know how far his issue goes etc. There is only so much you can do. He also has to work on his own stuff. And a lot of what makes him feel this way ...it may not be to do with you.

Yeah letting do little stuff etc can be a good thing. Letting him be the gentleman etc ..it does work.

Yeah, you are probably right and I am overthinking and putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. On the other hand, I am trying to find the root of all problems, assuming that an ego boost couldn't do any harm, and might make it easier for him to cope with his jealous feelings. Also, I feel like the situation required me to toughen up and become much more independent, since there is no way for me to rely on his help over the distance. And that might have caused him to feel emasculated on a way.
Thanks for your advice 😘

Do what you enjoy. The rest..he really needs to go on a self-discovery mission.

Perhaps have a conversation with him and sit him down. Express that you care for him and that he seems a little down.
the ego-stroking is his job.
If you do it all the time, he'll become dependent on it. Which will hurt him in the long-run.

@SalamanderCandy Yeah I totally get that and agree. I'm just kind of looking for general advice on how to make him feel proud instead of insecure. And boost his male ego a little bit instead of making him feel emasculated.