Seriously how do I make this work

How can I get my Gem back on my side we are going through a real rough patch.

Some of it is my fault i will hold my hands up.

She says she's fed up of the same shit happening between us me going on a nagging when I feel like I am just trying to make points on things.

However it's got to the point where we are both at rock bottom hardly any intamency and she even said with me going on the way I do she doesn't even want to kiss me anymore.

But she has forgotten everything she's done I am stuck in a rut and I just want us back happy but everytime I try and I ask for emotion she brushes me off and tells me I'm nagging again.

Just need help I am struggling to get us back and get out of this state I am in .

What do I do give her space and hope she'll come round or stay in this and spend time with her and just seem cool about everything what do I do about this as I do not want to loose her but any second now one step out of line and that it with us I already know this.

I am the one making the moves to kiss her to cuddle her to get close and I tell her I love her for her to say okay and I even say why aren't you saying it back and she says I dont have to say it back everytime should I back the fuck off her or what .

Posted by Sagoxa

Didnt i tell u to be a puzzle? 😪

What do you mean let her figure me out ?

Posted by Sagoxa

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Didnt i tell u to be a puzzle? 😪

What do you mean let her figure me out ?

Yes..

Flip the table. Mirror her. And hold your ground.

Distract your attention else where. Change your routine... exclude her from your routine.. start doing things for yourself... first 2 days is going to be hard for you, after that itll be easy.. i mean youre a sag 🤷‍♀️

I'll give it 1-2 weeks max..

🙄

click to expand

Okay thanks for your advice do you think she will start to be interested again and 1-2 weeks for what

Posted by bmoon8

You keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. That’s insanity.

No I get that I just dont know what route to take now I supposed I just do me and leave her out of my plans for a bit and then I will get moaned at for that

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by bmoon8

You keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. That’s insanity.

No I get that I just dont know what route to take now I supposed I just do me and leave her out of my plans for a bit and then I will get moaned at for that

click to expand

Suppose **

Posted by Sagoxa

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Didnt i tell u to be a puzzle? 😪

What do you mean let her figure me out ?

Yes..

Flip the table. Mirror her. And hold your ground.

Distract your attention else where. Change your routine... exclude her from your routine.. start doing things for yourself... first 2 days is going to be hard for you, after that itll be easy.. i mean youre a sag 🤷‍♀️

I'll give it 1-2 weeks max..

🙄

click to expand

He can't do this. He seems to be too needy for her liking. He's written so many threads about the same issue and it really seems she's turned off by his ways.

Better let it go OP

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Didnt i tell u to be a puzzle? 😪

What do you mean let her figure me out ?

Yes..

Flip the table. Mirror her. And hold your ground.

Distract your attention else where. Change your routine... exclude her from your routine.. start doing things for yourself... first 2 days is going to be hard for you, after that itll be easy.. i mean youre a sag 🤷‍♀️

I'll give it 1-2 weeks max..

🙄

Okay thanks for your advice do you think she will start to be interested again and 1-2 weeks for what

click to expand

You dont get it. You are in a relationship with a human being not a robot. You obviously cant even read her emotions. I dont think you are a match seriously

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by Sagoxa

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Didnt i tell u to be a puzzle? 😪

What do you mean let her figure me out ?

Yes..

Flip the table. Mirror her. And hold your ground.

Distract your attention else where. Change your routine... exclude her from your routine.. start doing things for yourself... first 2 days is going to be hard for you, after that itll be easy.. i mean youre a sag 🤷‍♀️

I'll give it 1-2 weeks max..

🙄

He can't do this. He seems to be too needy for her liking. He's written so many threads about the same issue and it really seems she's turned off by his ways.

Better let it go OP

click to expand

this. i think in the last thread i advised him to stop being so insecure and demanding reassurance from her all the time.

seems he didn't take the advice.

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by Sagoxa

Didnt i tell u to be a puzzle? 😪

What do you mean let her figure me out ?

Yes..

Flip the table. Mirror her. And hold your ground.

Distract your attention else where. Change your routine... exclude her from your routine.. start doing things for yourself... first 2 days is going to be hard for you, after that itll be easy.. i mean youre a sag 🤷‍♀️

I'll give it 1-2 weeks max..

🙄

Okay thanks for your advice do you think she will start to be interested again and 1-2 weeks for what

You dont get it. You are in a relationship with a human being not a robot. You obviously cant even read her emotions. I dont think you are a match seriously

click to expand

He keeps asking how he can make the relationship work. But what he really means is how he can change her to be the partner he wants. Tragic

Didn’t I tell you to go to Groupon and find something to do

Ignore her and give her the space she so desperately wants

Detach and go do your own thing

Posted by Centaur12

I am the one making the moves to kiss her to cuddle her to get close and I tell her I love her for her to say okay and I even say why aren't you saying it back and she says I dont have to say it back everytime should I back the fuck off her or what .

We kept telling you to do so, but you won't listen...Now she don't want you no more....

Are you really a Sag? Or do you just have a Sag moon? It's hard to believe you are one with how needy and insecure you are.

You need to tap into your IDGAF attitude a little more and stop the nagging and insecurity.

Plan some hobbies with your own kids, take them outside and live your life. Let her come to you when she misses you instead of bombarding her with all the random insecurities you have. I don't get how you can be so insecure when she was spending so much time with you.

You need to find your balls and secure them, take them out of her purse.

Posted by Sagoxa

Posted by saggurl88

Are you really a Sag? Or do you just have a Sag moon? It's hard to believe you are one with how needy and insecure you are.

You need to tap into your IDGAF attitude a little more and stop the nagging and insecurity.

Plan some hobbies with your own kids, take them outside and live your life. Let her come to you when she misses you instead of bombarding her with all the random insecurities you have. I don't get how you can be so insecure when she was spending so much time with you.

You need to find your balls and secure them, take them out of her purse.

I asked the same question on his previous thread 🤣

If I remember correctly, he said he is a sag sun/aqua moon.

Even I, with a cancer moon... would NEVER do this, and I thought cancer moon supposed to be clingy 🤪🤣

click to expand

It's seriously a little hard to believe. I've never known a Sag like this. Usually we have way too much pride for all this.

Asking the same question.. in a different manner.. is still asking the same damn question dude.

You aren't picking up what she's putting down. Stop. Listen. Look. Listen again and then shake your own dang head for being so oblivious.

The fact that he can’t detach is a sign that he was really invested in the relationship. Something people claim that saggis can’t do.

I get the attachment. I’ve been there and I had to learn my lesson the hard way.

It is my own fault for being to clingy i get that and now when I try to express my self she does not want to hear it as its classed as boring same old shit.

I haven't been massively happy with life in general lately so that is probably a factor as well.

I think the best way is to shut off a little bit and pull away as when I start to express myself she doesn't want to listen only wants to listen when I pull away.

I am going to leave her to do her thing and I am going to do mine now and what ever happens happens.

Caught her lieing about stupid stuff sometimes as well and there's no need of it.

I'm just going to act all cool now like nothing bothers me and get on with it.

We had sex this morning for the first time after a while and it was great but there is still unhappiness there as you can see it in her she is always sat there in her own mind and not very cuddly anymore or wanting to be close.

You need to handle this correctly because once an air woman get's turned off it's damn near impossible to turn her on again. I would suggest you address whatever it is she's nagging you about and fix it. Get busy doing other things, go out with friends and don't text her while out.

Posted by DonnaLibra

You need to handle this correctly because once an air woman get's turned off it's damn near impossible to turn her on again. I would suggest you address whatever it is she's nagging you about and fix it. Get busy doing other things, go out with friends and don't text her while out.

Yeah I am going to I am tuning into my DGAF attitude tbh with you.

I am going to do me more than her now.

Posted by Centaur12

It is my own fault for being to clingy i get that and now when I try to express my self she does not want to hear it as its classed as boring same old shit.

I haven't been massively happy with life in general lately so that is probably a factor as well.

I think the best way is to shut off a little bit and pull away as when I start to express myself she doesn't want to listen only wants to listen when I pull away.

I am going to leave her to do her thing and I am going to do mine now and what ever happens happens.

Caught her lieing about stupid stuff sometimes as well and there's no need of it.

I'm just going to act all cool now like nothing bothers me and get on with it.

We had sex this morning for the first time after a while and it was great but there is still unhappiness there as you can see it in her she is always sat there in her own mind and not very cuddly anymore or wanting to be close.

If you are able to see her and still have sexual relations with her then the relationship is still salvageable.

I don’t think you are capable of not nagging or complaining and this is something you should work on for your own self improvement. I seriously don’t think you even know how to tap into an IDGAF attitude because you do, too much.

It seems like she’s getting tired of hearing it and that’s what’s making her unhappy.

You can tell she’s unhappy and try to help by asking but it’s the nagging that can be contributing to it and it’s an endless cycle of no one getting anywhere. If she is off cause she can tell you are off- it’s a merry go round of no one being happy. It’s a crappy space to be in.

It’s not your job to worry about her and wonder why she isn’t happy. You can do things to try and make her happy. But you don’t have to question it every time you feel it, like it’s a reflection of you making her unhappy. That’s probably not the case.

Geminis are usually naturally in a headspace of wanting to be uplifted. Wanting to have fun and be in a good energy and they want a partner who contributes to it. I find Geminis to be the insecure ones who want to be pulled out of their rut with a good time. You guys both can’t be like this. It’s draining for the Gemini and pits too much responsibility on her to make you happy.

I don’t think she will leave you alone because you keep her in other ways. By hogging her time and buying her stuff.

If a Sag is sex driven, Geminis are driven by being taken care of financially, small or large monetary gifts. It’s less they have to do for themselves and they appreciate it.

If you can find a way to have fun and not make her feel like she is failing you. I think you can do better.

If you can find ways of just saying you love her, miss her, want her, with no expectations of hearing it back, or will be better for your relationship. You depend too much on how she feels about you and why she’s not saying the same things you say.

If she feels it, let her say it on her own time. She doesn’t have to say things just because you are saying them.

Let her sit with the loving words you say, soak them in and enjoy them. It’s not ping pong. You should like to say stuff to her because you want to say them, not because you want to hear them.

You should be doing things to make you happy when you are in her presence. Try to shift the focus and stop focusing on everything that is off or giving you anxiety. This could get you in a different mindset, if you try. One person being a positive presence will pull the other person out of a negative one.

You just have to be the light with no expectations of the other person. Let her come to you for the good time or happiness.

Sorry this is long winded. I tried my best to explain it.

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

It is my own fault for being to clingy i get that and now when I try to express my self she does not want to hear it as its classed as boring same old shit.

I haven't been massively happy with life in general lately so that is probably a factor as well.

I think the best way is to shut off a little bit and pull away as when I start to express myself she doesn't want to listen only wants to listen when I pull away.

I am going to leave her to do her thing and I am going to do mine now and what ever happens happens.

Caught her lieing about stupid stuff sometimes as well and there's no need of it.

I'm just going to act all cool now like nothing bothers me and get on with it.

We had sex this morning for the first time after a while and it was great but there is still unhappiness there as you can see it in her she is always sat there in her own mind and not very cuddly anymore or wanting to be close.

Take a step back, Sag, and think about how you have been treated. Do you really deserve it? The answer is probably no and you might be too good for this?

The lying part and all this behavior should now make it very fucking easy for you to take your power back.

click to expand

I already feel a little better if am honest because today I have maintained my don't give a shit attitude and she has already realised it and asking me in the car why I have seemed off.

I haven't nagged or spoken about how I feel.

She has decided to stay at hers tonight with her kids and I am staying at my place and I actually feel good about it.

I don't want to come across grumpy or like an idiot when I am in my don't give a shit attitude so I am just going to go with the flow not let anything get to me or piss me off whatever happens happens.

I have became clingy and doing everything for her because she really took my heart by storm I really do cherish her as a person and she's a complete knock out oto look at she is what I have wanted for a while.

I blame this dam Scorpio in Mercury .

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

It is my own fault for being to clingy i get that and now when I try to express my self she does not want to hear it as its classed as boring same old shit.

I haven't been massively happy with life in general lately so that is probably a factor as well.

I think the best way is to shut off a little bit and pull away as when I start to express myself she doesn't want to listen only wants to listen when I pull away.

I am going to leave her to do her thing and I am going to do mine now and what ever happens happens.

Caught her lieing about stupid stuff sometimes as well and there's no need of it.

I'm just going to act all cool now like nothing bothers me and get on with it.

We had sex this morning for the first time after a while and it was great but there is still unhappiness there as you can see it in her she is always sat there in her own mind and not very cuddly anymore or wanting to be close.

If you are able to see her and still have sexual relations with her then the relationship is still salvageable.

I don’t think you are capable of not nagging or complaining and this is something you should work on for your own self improvement. I seriously don’t think you even know how to tap into an IDGAF attitude because you do, too much.

It seems like she’s getting tired of hearing it and that’s what’s making her unhappy.

You can tell she’s unhappy and try to help by asking but it’s the nagging that can be contributing to it and it’s an endless cycle of no one getting anywhere. If she is off cause she can tell you are off- it’s a merry go round of no one being happy. It’s a crappy space to be in.

It’s not your job to worry about her and wonder why she isn’t happy. You can do things to try and make her happy. But you don’t have to question it every time you feel it, like it’s a reflection of you making her unhappy. That’s probably not the case.

Geminis are usually naturally in a headspace of wanting to be uplifted. Wanting to have fun and be in a good energy and they want a partner who contributes to it. I find Geminis to be the insecure ones who want to be pulled out of their rut with a good time. You guys both can’t be like this. It’s draining for the Gemini and pits too much responsibility on her to make you happy.

I don’t think she will leave you alone because you keep her in other ways. By hogging her time and buying her stuff.

If a Sag is sex driven, Geminis are driven by being taken care of financially, small or large monetary gifts. It’s less they have to do for themselves and they appreciate it.

If you can find a way to have fun and not make her feel like she is failing you. I think you can do better.

If you can find ways of just saying you love her, miss her, want her, with no expectations of hearing it back, or will be better for your relationship. You depend too much on how she feels about you and why she’s not saying the same things you say.

If she feels it, let her say it on her own time. She doesn’t have to say things just because you are saying them.

Let her sit with the loving words you say, soak them in and enjoy them. It’s not ping pong. You should like to say stuff to her because you want to say them, not because you want to hear them.

You should be doing things to make you happy when you are in her presence. Try to shift the focus and stop focusing on everything that is off or giving you anxiety. This could get you in a different mindset, if you try. One person being a positive presence will pull the other person out of a negative one.

You just have to be the light with no expectations of the other person. Let her come to you for the good time or happiness.

Sorry this is long winded. I tried my best to explain it.

click to expand

Thanks for that makes complete sense . 👍

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

It is my own fault for being to clingy i get that and now when I try to express my self she does not want to hear it as its classed as boring same old shit.

I haven't been massively happy with life in general lately so that is probably a factor as well.

I think the best way is to shut off a little bit and pull away as when I start to express myself she doesn't want to listen only wants to listen when I pull away.

I am going to leave her to do her thing and I am going to do mine now and what ever happens happens.

Caught her lieing about stupid stuff sometimes as well and there's no need of it.

I'm just going to act all cool now like nothing bothers me and get on with it.

We had sex this morning for the first time after a while and it was great but there is still unhappiness there as you can see it in her she is always sat there in her own mind and not very cuddly anymore or wanting to be close.

Take a step back, Sag, and think about how you have been treated. Do you really deserve it? The answer is probably no and you might be too good for this?

The lying part and all this behavior should now make it very fucking easy for you to take your power back.

I already feel a little better if am honest because today I have maintained my don't give a shit attitude and she has already realised it and asking me in the car why I have seemed off.

I haven't nagged or spoken about how I feel.

She has decided to stay at hers tonight with her kids and I am staying at my place and I actually feel good about it.

I don't want to come across grumpy or like an idiot when I am in my don't give a shit attitude so I am just going to go with the flow not let anything get to me or piss me off whatever happens happens.

I have became clingy and doing everything for her because she really took my heart by storm I really do cherish her as a person and she's a complete knock out oto look at she is what I have wanted for a while.

I blame this dam Scorpio in Mercury .

Stop doing everything for her and definitely knock the clinginess off. Just stop doing anything for her at all. Take step back and do for yourself... self care. Take care of yourself. Sounds like you gave too much of yourself and too much of your power up to this chick.

click to expand

I have tbh and so much that I am struggling to step back now but I know I have to for myself and the benefit of us if I want us to work.

The trouble is when I take a step back so does she , she seems okay about it and goes with it how do I play this without giving in all the time or coming across like I'm being a dick.

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

It is my own fault for being to clingy i get that and now when I try to express my self she does not want to hear it as its classed as boring same old shit.

I haven't been massively happy with life in general lately so that is probably a factor as well.

I think the best way is to shut off a little bit and pull away as when I start to express myself she doesn't want to listen only wants to listen when I pull away.

I am going to leave her to do her thing and I am going to do mine now and what ever happens happens.

Caught her lieing about stupid stuff sometimes as well and there's no need of it.

I'm just going to act all cool now like nothing bothers me and get on with it.

We had sex this morning for the first time after a while and it was great but there is still unhappiness there as you can see it in her she is always sat there in her own mind and not very cuddly anymore or wanting to be close.

Take a step back, Sag, and think about how you have been treated. Do you really deserve it? The answer is probably no and you might be too good for this?

The lying part and all this behavior should now make it very fucking easy for you to take your power back.

I already feel a little better if am honest because today I have maintained my don't give a shit attitude and she has already realised it and asking me in the car why I have seemed off.

I haven't nagged or spoken about how I feel.

She has decided to stay at hers tonight with her kids and I am staying at my place and I actually feel good about it.

I don't want to come across grumpy or like an idiot when I am in my don't give a shit attitude so I am just going to go with the flow not let anything get to me or piss me off whatever happens happens.

I have became clingy and doing everything for her because she really took my heart by storm I really do cherish her as a person and she's a complete knock out oto look at she is what I have wanted for a while.

I blame this dam Scorpio in Mercury .

Stop doing everything for her and definitely knock the clinginess off. Just stop doing anything for her at all. Take step back and do for yourself... self care. Take care of yourself. Sounds like you gave too much of yourself and too much of your power up to this chick.

I have tbh and so much that I am struggling to step back now but I know I have to for myself and the benefit of us if I want us to work.

Give up the “wanting it to work” outcome. Become detached from the outcome altogether. Let things be and take care of yourself. Sheesh, it seems like you totally lost yourself in this mess.

click to expand

I have really lost myself and I can even feel it 😔 I don't know how to find myself again. I don't even know myself anymore if I am honest.

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

click to expand

You can be yourself. She likes that about you because she sees the good in you. And you can take her seriously and do things for her. These are the good behaviors you probably shouldn’t ease up on. But ease up on worrying so much that you aren’t satisfying her or that she isn’t saying whatever it is you want her to say. You are taking them personally and she may not be ready to say them as much as you want her to.

Yes be fun, plan things for you two to do- this is where you will have free form at being controlling.

Geminis can be like kids at a carnival, being lead to see, touch, enjoy anything new and exciting. They are up for anything fun

Focus on finding things to do with her. By yourself and with the kids.

Enjoy her company, focus more on creating good times and laughter. This is what’s missing. If she gets into a mood, don’t sit in it with her. Give her space, tell her your going to do “something interesting “ or even relax in a tub at home and go do it. She can join you if she wants, or not.

I think you trying to see her is fine. But I think the neediness and your self doubt of her love, is what you should try to get out of your head. She wouldn’t let you come over, stay over, be around her kids and still be seeing you, if she didn’t care.

You should try to push those types of thoughts out of your mind because this is what’s messing up the relationship. You seem to be self sabotaging and both of you aren’t finding a good solution to overcome what’s bothering you. It leads to nagging and her being irritated about it and you feeling like she’s not hearing you.

You should be more comfortable knowing that you are enough and having trust that she recognizes it.

Maybe you guys should take a little break from having the heavy talks and enjoy each other for a few weeks and then revisit it.

Do an exercise in a few weeks like writing down

“the way I feel loved from my partner” is this.

And you both can write all this out and share it with each other. But listen, while not voicing or pointing out what the other person hasn’t or isn’t doing. This will give each of you something to work on for each other.

Give the emotional talks a break for right now because of the frustration associated with it. And then start from scratch, with renewed feelings of contentment with each other.

It will be better received.

Posted by bmoon8

So Sag, what kind of hobbies do you enjoy?

I like quite a few things, playing football, having drinks with friends, spending a night at mine online to my mates, spending time with my kids, watching a series on tv, seeing my family members and having a laugh with them I haven't done that for a while. I like jogging and gym and use to do boxing 2-3 times a week also.

Posted by bmoon8

So Sag, what kind of hobbies do you enjoy?

What about your self ?

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

You can be yourself. She likes that about you because she sees the good in you. And you can take her seriously and do things for her. These are the good behaviors you probably shouldn’t ease up on. But ease up on worrying so much that you aren’t satisfying her or that she isn’t saying whatever it is you want her to say. You are taking them personally and she may not be ready to say them as much as you want her to.

Yes be fun, plan things for you two to do- this is where you will have free form at being controlling.

Geminis can be like kids at a carnival, being lead to see, touch, enjoy anything new and exciting. They are up for anything fun

Focus on finding things to do with her. By yourself and with the kids.

Enjoy her company, focus more on creating good times and laughter. This is what’s missing. If she gets into a mood, don’t sit in it with her. Give her space, tell her your going to do “something interesting “ or even relax in a tub at home and go do it. She can join you if she wants, or not.

I think you trying to see her is fine. But I think the neediness and your self doubt of her love, is what you should try to get out of your head. She wouldn’t let you come over, stay over, be around her kids and still be seeing you, if she didn’t care.

You should try to push those types of thoughts out of your mind because this is what’s messing up the relationship. You seem to be self sabotaging and both of you aren’t finding a good solution to overcome what’s bothering you. It leads to nagging and her being irritated about it and you feeling like she’s not hearing you.

You should be more comfortable knowing that you are enough and having trust that she recognizes it.

Maybe you guys should take a little break from having the heavy talks and enjoy each other for a few weeks and then revisit it.

Do an exercise in a few weeks like writing down

“the way I feel loved from my partner” is this.

And you both can write all this out and share it with each other. But listen, while not voicing or pointing out what the other person hasn’t or isn’t doing. This will give each of you something to work on for each other.

Give the emotional talks a break for right now because of the frustration associated with it. And then start from scratch, with renewed feelings of contentment with each other.

It will be better received.

click to expand

We have decided to have some time apart so I can get my head straight and find myself again because I am lost.

I will be amazed if this works out.

Posted by bmoon8

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by bmoon8

So Sag, what kind of hobbies do you enjoy?

What about your self ?

I have not done it in a while because of Covid, but I like hitting the gym. Going to rejoin one here in my area now that Covid restrictions have been lifted in my state.

I like to spend time with my family and friends occasionally having some shots.

I like traveling and getting away from it all, including going off grid and having no phone or online service. I currently have a camper in the mountains that I go to.

I also like astrology and socializing with others.

click to expand

I love the sound of the camper in the mountains sounds great 👍 .

Also the idea of no technology when you are out.

I have also covid and lockdown regulations and that isn't helping either at the moment.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

You can be yourself. She likes that about you because she sees the good in you. And you can take her seriously and do things for her. These are the good behaviors you probably shouldn’t ease up on. But ease up on worrying so much that you aren’t satisfying her or that she isn’t saying whatever it is you want her to say. You are taking them personally and she may not be ready to say them as much as you want her to.

Yes be fun, plan things for you two to do- this is where you will have free form at being controlling.

Geminis can be like kids at a carnival, being lead to see, touch, enjoy anything new and exciting. They are up for anything fun

Focus on finding things to do with her. By yourself and with the kids.

Enjoy her company, focus more on creating good times and laughter. This is what’s missing. If she gets into a mood, don’t sit in it with her. Give her space, tell her your going to do “something interesting “ or even relax in a tub at home and go do it. She can join you if she wants, or not.

I think you trying to see her is fine. But I think the neediness and your self doubt of her love, is what you should try to get out of your head. She wouldn’t let you come over, stay over, be around her kids and still be seeing you, if she didn’t care.

You should try to push those types of thoughts out of your mind because this is what’s messing up the relationship. You seem to be self sabotaging and both of you aren’t finding a good solution to overcome what’s bothering you. It leads to nagging and her being irritated about it and you feeling like she’s not hearing you.

You should be more comfortable knowing that you are enough and having trust that she recognizes it.

Maybe you guys should take a little break from having the heavy talks and enjoy each other for a few weeks and then revisit it.

Do an exercise in a few weeks like writing down

“the way I feel loved from my partner” is this.

And you both can write all this out and share it with each other. But listen, while not voicing or pointing out what the other person hasn’t or isn’t doing. This will give each of you something to work on for each other.

Give the emotional talks a break for right now because of the frustration associated with it. And then start from scratch, with renewed feelings of contentment with each other.

It will be better received.

click to expand

@saggurl88

I guess I have to detach from her as its all very blunt at the moment.

She text me this morning saying good morning bet your girls are super excited for there Easter eggs and then told me not to ring her this morning and in her text messages she is being very blunt and I said not to be blunt I understand we are going through a rough time but its not going to help the situation.

She said the reason why she is being blunt is because I have made her like that.

What is the best way for me to handle this back off and work on my self hoping that she will come around and then show her I have changed my behaviour.

Not seem so needy and take things lightly.

I don't know but I do know it hurts me.

I have seriously fucked this up between us I have let my insecurity take me over and I duno what to do to make us work I am trying to sort it but I don't know how I am really struggling. She told me she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore how do I flip that.

Posted by Centaur12

I have seriously fucked this up between us I have let my insecurity take me over and I duno what to do to make us work I am trying to sort it but I don't know how I am really struggling. She told me she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore how do I flip that.

you've don't. you respect her choices.

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

You can be yourself. She likes that about you because she sees the good in you. And you can take her seriously and do things for her. These are the good behaviors you probably shouldn’t ease up on. But ease up on worrying so much that you aren’t satisfying her or that she isn’t saying whatever it is you want her to say. You are taking them personally and she may not be ready to say them as much as you want her to.

Yes be fun, plan things for you two to do- this is where you will have free form at being controlling.

Geminis can be like kids at a carnival, being lead to see, touch, enjoy anything new and exciting. They are up for anything fun

Focus on finding things to do with her. By yourself and with the kids.

Enjoy her company, focus more on creating good times and laughter. This is what’s missing. If she gets into a mood, don’t sit in it with her. Give her space, tell her your going to do “something interesting “ or even relax in a tub at home and go do it. She can join you if she wants, or not.

I think you trying to see her is fine. But I think the neediness and your self doubt of her love, is what you should try to get out of your head. She wouldn’t let you come over, stay over, be around her kids and still be seeing you, if she didn’t care.

You should try to push those types of thoughts out of your mind because this is what’s messing up the relationship. You seem to be self sabotaging and both of you aren’t finding a good solution to overcome what’s bothering you. It leads to nagging and her being irritated about it and you feeling like she’s not hearing you.

You should be more comfortable knowing that you are enough and having trust that she recognizes it.

Maybe you guys should take a little break from having the heavy talks and enjoy each other for a few weeks and then revisit it.

Do an exercise in a few weeks like writing down

“the way I feel loved from my partner” is this.

And you both can write all this out and share it with each other. But listen, while not voicing or pointing out what the other person hasn’t or isn’t doing. This will give each of you something to work on for each other.

Give the emotional talks a break for right now because of the frustration associated with it. And then start from scratch, with renewed feelings of contentment with each other.

It will be better received.

@saggurl88

I guess I have to detach from her as its all very blunt at the moment.

She text me this morning saying good morning bet your girls are super excited for there Easter eggs and then told me not to ring her this morning and in her text messages she is being very blunt and I said not to be blunt I understand we are going through a rough time but its not going to help the situation.

She said the reason why she is being blunt is because I have made her like that.

What is the best way for me to handle this back off and work on my self hoping that she will come around and then show her I have changed my behaviour.

Not seem so needy and take things lightly.

I don't know but I do know it hurts me.

click to expand

you are on a different wavelength.. if she tells you not to call, just don't. It seems that you are arguing with her about "being blunt" I know you don't mean it, but this is why I'm saying that you are both different. This kind of attitude between you both is not helping the relationship, it is like picking on things now and this is due to negative emotions building up. Patience got limits.

Posted by Centaur12

I have seriously fucked this up between us I have let my insecurity take me over and I duno what to do to make us work I am trying to sort it but I don't know how I am really struggling. She told me she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore how do I flip that.

It seems healthier for you to let go and work on yourself first. Because even if you stay or get involved in another relationship, you will face the same issues cause of insecurities, it is a never-ending cycle if you don't fix it. And since you could not fix it being with a partner, then maybe you need to get away to be able to have a clear head and soul to work on "You"

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

You can be yourself. She likes that about you because she sees the good in you. And you can take her seriously and do things for her. These are the good behaviors you probably shouldn’t ease up on. But ease up on worrying so much that you aren’t satisfying her or that she isn’t saying whatever it is you want her to say. You are taking them personally and she may not be ready to say them as much as you want her to.

Yes be fun, plan things for you two to do- this is where you will have free form at being controlling.

Geminis can be like kids at a carnival, being lead to see, touch, enjoy anything new and exciting. They are up for anything fun

Focus on finding things to do with her. By yourself and with the kids.

Enjoy her company, focus more on creating good times and laughter. This is what’s missing. If she gets into a mood, don’t sit in it with her. Give her space, tell her your going to do “something interesting “ or even relax in a tub at home and go do it. She can join you if she wants, or not.

I think you trying to see her is fine. But I think the neediness and your self doubt of her love, is what you should try to get out of your head. She wouldn’t let you come over, stay over, be around her kids and still be seeing you, if she didn’t care.

You should try to push those types of thoughts out of your mind because this is what’s messing up the relationship. You seem to be self sabotaging and both of you aren’t finding a good solution to overcome what’s bothering you. It leads to nagging and her being irritated about it and you feeling like she’s not hearing you.

You should be more comfortable knowing that you are enough and having trust that she recognizes it.

Maybe you guys should take a little break from having the heavy talks and enjoy each other for a few weeks and then revisit it.

Do an exercise in a few weeks like writing down

“the way I feel loved from my partner” is this.

And you both can write all this out and share it with each other. But listen, while not voicing or pointing out what the other person hasn’t or isn’t doing. This will give each of you something to work on for each other.

Give the emotional talks a break for right now because of the frustration associated with it. And then start from scratch, with renewed feelings of contentment with each other.

It will be better received.

@saggurl88

I guess I have to detach from her as its all very blunt at the moment.

She text me this morning saying good morning bet your girls are super excited for there Easter eggs and then told me not to ring her this morning and in her text messages she is being very blunt and I said not to be blunt I understand we are going through a rough time but its not going to help the situation.

She said the reason why she is being blunt is because I have made her like that.

What is the best way for me to handle this back off and work on my self hoping that she will come around and then show her I have changed my behaviour.

Not seem so needy and take things lightly.

I don't know but I do know it hurts me.

click to expand

what you call blunt, women call setting boundaries. she is entitled to them. you telling her that "its not going to help the situation" shows a lack of respect for her autonomy. instead you are worrying about your feelings.

that she has to put it so plainly to you indicates that she can't be certain that you understand where the line is.

Go on a solo trip

Find a festival, staycation, camping, food tour

That’s how I recenter myself

Groupon my Sagittarius, Groupon

Give yourself something else to look forward too

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

I know it seems like I’m saying to do everything to meet her needs. But Sagittarius are people pleasers for a reason. In relationships we live to make the other person happy. Geminis are our opposites for that reason. They are accepting of how we want to please them and then they make us happy in return by showering us with affection and attention. It works best when both of you just accept instead of control.

It’s like you two are doing things inversely. Like inside out.

I’m not saying to ignore your happiness, because you have needs too. But you both should be doing things together to be in a good vibes, fun type energy . To enjoy each other’s company without the pressures of what’s not happening.

You need to let go of the controlled outcome that you want and be willing to give things time to develop. She will get into the same headspace as you when there isn’t pressure to do so. Especially if she loves you.

Both our signs don’t like being controlled.

Space, freedom, love, affection and consistency works the best for both of us.

Geminis are just as loyal as Sagittarius but she will be miserable and loyal if the complaining and nagging continues.

And if you love her, I’m sure you don’t want her to be like this.

I wouldn't want her to be miserable and loyal I would want her to be happy and loyal so yeah it makes sense .

So I got this right the best way to play this is to not be clingy and be fun.

Keep it sweet and not do to much for her and do my own things.

Not take things so serious.

Let her chase me a little and tell me she loves me etc.

You can be yourself. She likes that about you because she sees the good in you. And you can take her seriously and do things for her. These are the good behaviors you probably shouldn’t ease up on. But ease up on worrying so much that you aren’t satisfying her or that she isn’t saying whatever it is you want her to say. You are taking them personally and she may not be ready to say them as much as you want her to.

Yes be fun, plan things for you two to do- this is where you will have free form at being controlling.

Geminis can be like kids at a carnival, being lead to see, touch, enjoy anything new and exciting. They are up for anything fun

Focus on finding things to do with her. By yourself and with the kids.

Enjoy her company, focus more on creating good times and laughter. This is what’s missing. If she gets into a mood, don’t sit in it with her. Give her space, tell her your going to do “something interesting “ or even relax in a tub at home and go do it. She can join you if she wants, or not.

I think you trying to see her is fine. But I think the neediness and your self doubt of her love, is what you should try to get out of your head. She wouldn’t let you come over, stay over, be around her kids and still be seeing you, if she didn’t care.

You should try to push those types of thoughts out of your mind because this is what’s messing up the relationship. You seem to be self sabotaging and both of you aren’t finding a good solution to overcome what’s bothering you. It leads to nagging and her being irritated about it and you feeling like she’s not hearing you.

You should be more comfortable knowing that you are enough and having trust that she recognizes it.

Maybe you guys should take a little break from having the heavy talks and enjoy each other for a few weeks and then revisit it.

Do an exercise in a few weeks like writing down

“the way I feel loved from my partner” is this.

And you both can write all this out and share it with each other. But listen, while not voicing or pointing out what the other person hasn’t or isn’t doing. This will give each of you something to work on for each other.

Give the emotional talks a break for right now because of the frustration associated with it. And then start from scratch, with renewed feelings of contentment with each other.

It will be better received.

@saggurl88

I guess I have to detach from her as its all very blunt at the moment.

She text me this morning saying good morning bet your girls are super excited for there Easter eggs and then told me not to ring her this morning and in her text messages she is being very blunt and I said not to be blunt I understand we are going through a rough time but its not going to help the situation.

She said the reason why she is being blunt is because I have made her like that.

What is the best way for me to handle this back off and work on my self hoping that she will come around and then show her I have changed my behaviour.

Not seem so needy and take things lightly.

I don't know but I do know it hurts me.

click to expand

I’m not sure why her being blunt is a bad thing. You didn’t listen to her when she asked you not to do something.

A good response would’ve been “Good morning, yes they are excited, I bet your kids are too. Hope they get a lot of eggs. Sounds good, it’s gonna be a busy day 🙂” or something along these lines of just saying cool I won’t ring you.

I’m confused about what you mean by backing off and working on yourself.

Are you now trying to take space/breakup?

Are you trying to pull away in the middle of the relationship?

You can’t work on yourself while you’re in it?

Giving someone space when she asks or not ringing her phone when she asks, isn’t that big of a deal.

I think you usually would just head over there or do what you want and call anyways. Just try respecting her wishes and see what happens.

You just spent time with her. She hasn’t went anywhere.

It’s a kids holiday (aside from the religious aspect) and you both have kids but aren’t spending it together?

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

I am trying to compromise and I said to her I want to sort us out and for us to work and I know we have both made mistakes and I have more than her but I can hold my hands up and say I have yet she will stick by her word like she has never done a thing wrong.

It's unfair and I am trying so I am now backing off.

Posted by Centaur12

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

You two both have some control issues. She doesn’t want your kids seeing their own parent 😳

You can’t tell when she’s pushing your buttons for her own amusement?

If you want to take a break then do it. You will see how she acts. Then you will know she’s not going anywhere.

Maybe this will turn things around for you.

You need to see this side of her anyways.

It will probably surprise and relieve you. Geminis don’t give up easily.

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

You two both have some control issues. She doesn’t want your kids seeing their own parent 😳

You can’t tell when she’s pushing your buttons for her own amusement?

If you want to take a break then do it. You will see how she acts. Then you will know she’s not going anywhere.

Maybe this will turn things around for you.

You need to see this side of her anyways.

It will probably surprise and relieve you. Geminis don’t give up easily.

click to expand

She told me she is done and yet continues to message me about giving money back to my mum but then ignores me trying to say I want to sort us out.

So I get that I just step away now as she has done and see where it goes.

What is the best thing for me to do.

I need advise on what could work really I know I have done wrong as well but underneath it all there is something worth working on.

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

You two both have some control issues. She doesn’t want your kids seeing their own parent 😳

You can’t tell when she’s pushing your buttons for her own amusement?

If you want to take a break then do it. You will see how she acts. Then you will know she’s not going anywhere.

Maybe this will turn things around for you.

You need to see this side of her anyways.

It will probably surprise and relieve you. Geminis don’t give up easily.

She told me she is done and yet continues to message me about giving money back to my mum but then ignores me trying to say I want to sort us out.

So I get that I just step away now as she has done and see where it goes.

What is the best thing for me to do.

I need advise on what could work really I know I have done wrong as well but underneath it all there is something worth working on.

click to expand

want to really impress her?

tell her you messed up and need to work on your issues. express your feeling and sentiment towards her and the relationship that you had. explain that you regret this outcome. it's not what you want. tell her you'll respect her feelings on this.

then behave like an adult. arrange to get the money back to your mum. stop forcing your views on her about sorting it out. she is not there. her silence on the topic should tell you volumes. your opinion/feeling in this is not the only one that counts.

she said she doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer then she doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer.

stop trying to manipulate/control/coerce the situation. she has told you her decision. it sucks but you must respect it.

if you can make some positive changes FOR YOURSELF then who knows how she will feel in the future but for now it is a no.

Posted by jeane

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

You two both have some control issues. She doesn’t want your kids seeing their own parent 😳

You can’t tell when she’s pushing your buttons for her own amusement?

If you want to take a break then do it. You will see how she acts. Then you will know she’s not going anywhere.

Maybe this will turn things around for you.

You need to see this side of her anyways.

It will probably surprise and relieve you. Geminis don’t give up easily.

She told me she is done and yet continues to message me about giving money back to my mum but then ignores me trying to say I want to sort us out.

So I get that I just step away now as she has done and see where it goes.

What is the best thing for me to do.

I need advise on what could work really I know I have done wrong as well but underneath it all there is something worth working on.

want to really impress her?

tell her you messed up and need to work on your issues. express your feeling and sentiment towards her and the relationship that you had. explain that you regret this outcome. it's not what you want.

then behave like an adult. arrange to get the money back to your mum. stop forcing your views on her about sorting it out. she is not there. her silence on the topic should tell you volumes. your opinion/feeling in this is not the only one that counts.

she said she doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer then she doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer.

stop trying to manipulate/control/coerce the situation. she has told you her decision. it sucks but you must respect it.

if you can make some positive changes FOR YOURSELF then who knows how she will feel in the future but for now it is a no.

click to expand

Thanks Jean I have told her that I hold my hands up and fucked up.

I have tried to express that I am in the wrong and I understand what I have done is wrong and I am sorry and that I will change right now.

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by jeane

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

You two both have some control issues. She doesn’t want your kids seeing their own parent 😳

You can’t tell when she’s pushing your buttons for her own amusement?

If you want to take a break then do it. You will see how she acts. Then you will know she’s not going anywhere.

Maybe this will turn things around for you.

You need to see this side of her anyways.

It will probably surprise and relieve you. Geminis don’t give up easily.

She told me she is done and yet continues to message me about giving money back to my mum but then ignores me trying to say I want to sort us out.

So I get that I just step away now as she has done and see where it goes.

What is the best thing for me to do.

I need advise on what could work really I know I have done wrong as well but underneath it all there is something worth working on.

want to really impress her?

tell her you messed up and need to work on your issues. express your feeling and sentiment towards her and the relationship that you had. explain that you regret this outcome. it's not what you want.

then behave like an adult. arrange to get the money back to your mum. stop forcing your views on her about sorting it out. she is not there. her silence on the topic should tell you volumes. your opinion/feeling in this is not the only one that counts.

she said she doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer then she doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer.

stop trying to manipulate/control/coerce the situation. she has told you her decision. it sucks but you must respect it.

if you can make some positive changes FOR YOURSELF then who knows how she will feel in the future but for now it is a no.

Thanks Jean I have told her that I hold my hands up and fucked up.

I have tried to express that I am in the wrong and I understand what I have done is wrong and I am sorry and that I will change right now.

click to expand

great. now put your money where your mouth is and do that while respecting her decision to put on the brakes on everything.

perhaps if she can see the changes you make over time then maybe you can revisit this in the future.

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Centaur12

Thing is I told her what has made me feel insecure and its the fact that at Christmas time she said she wants out of the relationship because she doesn't want my ex to see my family even tho we have children together anyway.

She wanted out of the relationship and said to me that we are going to go our separate ways in the new years.

I mean I didn't know if she was coming or going because after telling me thay what the fuck do I feel like cab you understand how I have been feeling it has driven me to act this way is it the right way no it isn't but what am I supposed to do and feel .

You two both have some control issues. She doesn’t want your kids seeing their own parent 😳

You can’t tell when she’s pushing your buttons for her own amusement?

If you want to take a break then do it. You will see how she acts. Then you will know she’s not going anywhere.

Maybe this will turn things around for you.

You need to see this side of her anyways.

It will probably surprise and relieve you. Geminis don’t give up easily.

She told me she is done and yet continues to message me about giving money back to my mum but then ignores me trying to say I want to sort us out.

So I get that I just step away now as she has done and see where it goes.

What is the best thing for me to do.

I need advise on what could work really I know I have done wrong as well but underneath it all there is something worth working on.

click to expand

I thought you were going to take space? That’s not messaging her back and saying you want to “sort us out”.

Cut all that talk out for right now. You’re doing the same thing in a different way. You could’ve just said “ok, you can give it back this way.” It’s not ignoring but it’s answering her question.

You could try by approaching it in that way.

Taking space but answering her messages with just answers and not whatever is on your mind and you’re insecure about.

Stop doing the same thing she’s doing. Going back and forth on your word.

You said you were taking space to work on yourself, without her, so do that.

She’s saying she’s done. I can bet you 90% she’s not. You just don’t see it.

You’re too much I’m your head that you will lose her. She knows that.

Pull back and do you.

I’m not sure what you’re so afraid of. Space is not a bad thing. It’s to get a grip on your bearings.

What you should be working on is how to stop begging for her. Stop making requests of her, treat her as you would a friend, with no emotional demands.

Anytime you have urges of insecurity, distract yourself. And DONT reach out. She hasn’t cut out contact right? Try to be more reserved with your emotions and just wait for the magic to happen.

This is what you have to work on anyways, correct?

You need to build yourself back up and try to not worry so much about an outcome you aren’t in control of. It’s hard but it will get easier the more you practice the art of being nonchalant, but friendly.

You have to erase the fear you have.

Maybe try therapy for abandonment issues while you’re taking space.

If you say it, you need to actually do it.