Momma's Boy or No—

Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

That looks BAD, would definitely set off major alarm bells. It's VERY something that you need to actually address with him present, because it can be a dealbreaker big time.

Air your concerns but don't make his Oedipal complex look like a bad thing, otherwise he'll get offended.

Nope. He's NOT a momma's boy. A Momma's Boy is one that lives NEXT door to her (my ex-bf Scorpio). A Momma's Boy is one that SHE will come over to HIS home to clean his apartment/home. A Momma's Boy is one that SHE will call him five to 10 times a day and vice versa.

He's NOT comparing you to her. He sees YOU as the woman he would like to spend the rest of his life with. Why? Because you don't have a motor mouth (*like the majority of the chickies in the millennium do) and/or you don't get drunk as a skunk (see the above *asterisk), etc. Girl, I could go on and on!

Some men, after they've had a baby, give their daughter his mother's name as the "middle" name on the birth certificate. Does this make him a Momma's Boy? Nope.

Thank your lucky stars when he speaks to you about his "mother" because they say, "The way a man will respect (treat you) you, is the same way he respects (treats) his mother". The * (add "men" in this sentence) do NOT respect their mothers and they end up beating their girlfriend/fiance/wife, etc.

You've got a good one girl!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by imbatgirl14
Well Virgos are extremely picky so I'm not too surprised there. Also men and women tend to subconsciously, or not, attract men and women who are exact replicas like their parents. So him wanting someone like his mom, who is a mother, wife, lover, career woman is quite predictable. I think all men want that deep down, but the reality is different.

I think he sees that in me, like in his mind he sees the potential of me being just like her, but the fact is I'm not her. I will not be the replica of his mom, even if I wanted to because we are different. She is a Sag and I am a Leo. Both fire, but different. I just don't want to be compared. I have my own place, I work, will be in my career in 2 years. I clean... Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him. I don't know if he is just really that proud of his mom or if he is secretly saying be more like this and I'll marry you. Sigh.... I'm lost.

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow


That looks BAD, would definitely set off major alarm bells. It's VERY something that you need to actually address with him present, because it can be a dealbreaker big time.

Air your concerns but don't make his Oedipal complex look like a bad thing, otherwise he'll get offended.

Yeah I know he will get offended. I have to be very careful in my choice of words when dealing with him. I can come off blunt sometimes and that's not good either. Maybe I'll just ask him somehow does he see me as someone like her or something like that. I'll figure something out

Posted by EvatheDiva
Nope. He's NOT a momma's boy. A Momma's Boy is one that lives NEXT door to her (my ex-bf Scorpio). A Momma's Boy is one that SHE will come over to HIS home to clean his apartment/home. A Momma's Boy is one that SHE will call him five to 10 times a day and vice versa.

He's NOT comparing you to her. He sees YOU as the woman he would like to spend the rest of his life with. Why? Because you don't have a motor mouth (*like the majority of the chickies in the millennium do) and/or you don't get drunk as a skunk (see the above *asterisk), etc. Girl, I could go on and on!

Some men, after they've had a baby, give their daughter his mother's name as the "middle" name on the birth certificate. Does this make him a Momma's Boy? Nope.

Thank your lucky stars when he speaks to you about his "mother" because they say, "The way a man will respect (treat you) you, is the same way he respects (treats) his mother". The * (add "men" in this sentence) do NOT respect their mothers and they end up beating their girlfriend/fiance/wife, etc.

You've got a good one girl!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Great point!!!! Thank you for your input—

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

click to expand

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow


That looks BAD, would definitely set off major alarm bells. It's VERY something that you need to actually address with him present, because it can be a dealbreaker big time.

Air your concerns but don't make his Oedipal complex look like a bad thing, otherwise he'll get offended.

Yeah I know he will get offended. I have to be very careful in my choice of words when dealing with him. I can come off blunt sometimes and that's not good either. Maybe I'll just ask him somehow does he see me as someone like her or something like that. I'll figure something out

click to expand

Do you live together? Or do you have occasional periods of non-contact between you?

If the latter, you might want to consider putting it in a letter and instruct him to read it in his own time. It will give you a chance to collect your thoughts before you say anything, that way you can cross something out.

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow

Posted by desilove333

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow


That looks BAD, would definitely set off major alarm bells. It's VERY something that you need to actually address with him present, because it can be a dealbreaker big time.

Air your concerns but don't make his Oedipal complex look like a bad thing, otherwise he'll get offended.

Yeah I know he will get offended. I have to be very careful in my choice of words when dealing with him. I can come off blunt sometimes and that's not good either. Maybe I'll just ask him somehow does he see me as someone like her or something like that. I'll figure something out

Do you live together? Or do you have occasional periods of non-contact between you?

If the latter, you might want to consider putting it in a letter and instruct him to read it in his own time. It will give you a chance to collect your thoughts before you say anything, that way you can cross something out.

click to expand

we don't live together yet, but that's the plan later this year. My lease is up in November and when we move together he said he would pay all the bills, of course this means full domestication for me. He feels strongly about this.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by EvatheDiva
Nope. He's NOT a momma's boy. A Momma's Boy is one that lives NEXT door to her (my ex-bf Scorpio). A Momma's Boy is one that SHE will come over to HIS home to clean his apartment/home. A Momma's Boy is one that SHE will call him five to 10 times a day and vice versa.

He's NOT comparing you to her. He sees YOU as the woman he would like to spend the rest of his life with. Why? Because you don't have a motor mouth (*like the majority of the chickies in the millennium do) and/or you don't get drunk as a skunk (see the above *asterisk), etc. Girl, I could go on and on!

Some men, after they've had a baby, give their daughter his mother's name as the "middle" name on the birth certificate. Does this make him a Momma's Boy? Nope.

Thank your lucky stars when he speaks to you about his "mother" because they say, "The way a man will respect (treat you) you, is the same way he respects (treats) his mother". The * (add "men" in this sentence) do NOT respect their mothers and they end up beating their girlfriend/fiance/wife, etc.

You've got a good one girl!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Great point!!!! Thank you for your input—

click to expand

YW. As a Piscean I am here to help! That's my purpose.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by HeavyEntertainmentShow


That looks BAD, would definitely set off major alarm bells. It's VERY something that you need to actually address with him present, because it can be a dealbreaker big time.

Air your concerns but don't make his Oedipal complex look like a bad thing, otherwise he'll get offended.

I agree with this

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

Relationships are compromises?u should meet in the middle, he cant expect for u to be exactly like he wants, u are not a puppet

click to expand

crazy thing is I think he does expect me to be exactly that way. Its weird. I want to be all of what he wants and more.... That's my personality and I am trying.... I think he sees my efforts, but view them as nothing more.

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

click to expand

Wow, he is a mother and grandmother's boy

Lol

Ewww

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Wow, he is a mother and grandmother's boy

Lol

Ewww

click to expand

lol sometimes I think he wants a servant and not a partner. But I care for him greatly and I'm willing to be what I can to him, I'm just not going to change entirely. Have you ever heard the song 'That's not me' by Jennifer Lopez— I feel exactly like those lyrics

Posted by desilove333

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Wow, he is a mother and grandmother's boy

Lol

Ewww

lol sometimes I think he wants a servant and not a partner. But I care for him greatly and I'm willing to be what I can to him, I'm just not going to change entirely. Have you ever heard the song 'That's not me' by Jennifer Lopez— I feel exactly like those lyrics

click to expand

Some mothers want to keep their sons like babies....it's weird and makes the guy dependent on them. No I never heard the song.

I wish you luck. I couldn't be with a guy that wanted a second mummy

o____________O



No.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Wow, he is a mother and grandmother's boy

Lol

Ewww

click to expand

Hahahahahha

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

click to expand

ugh virgos will deff do that to you, always compare you to someone else. Why dont you tell him you're not his mom and if he wants that so bad he should marry her?

My grandmother gave me some advice that was passed on from her mother in 1940.

"Marry an orphan"

I didn't get it until I was already married.

This doesnot sound good. You know you aren't that kind of woman. You will have to

communicate with him and tell him you work completely different from his mother. That you do things

differently. If he cannot compromise, then i would move on if i were you.



Virgos can be Svengali's in relationships. They will mold you into the image in their minds. This can become

controlling because the victim is supposed to conform. I would move on if you don't want such drama. Be

with someone who can accept and work with you just as you are.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by desilove333

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Wow, he is a mother and grandmother's boy

Lol

Ewww

lol sometimes I think he wants a servant and not a partner. But I care for him greatly and I'm willing to be what I can to him, I'm just not going to change entirely. Have you ever heard the song 'That's not me' by Jennifer Lopez— I feel exactly like those lyrics

Some mothers want to keep their sons like babies....it's weird and makes the guy dependent on them. No I never heard the song.

I wish you luck. I couldn't be with a guy that wanted a second mummy

click to expand

Well his mother doesn't even live where we live. We live in Michigan and she lives in Texas. She has been asking him to cone down there a lot and he always says how he has a car down there, his own room, clothes etc (his mom makes a good living down there) a Parr of me thinks he actually plans on doing it. Which will leave me either with a decision to move witg him or be single smh

Posted by imbatgirl14

Posted by desilove333

Posted by imbatgirl14
Well Virgos are extremely picky so I'm not too surprised there. Also men and women tend to subconsciously, or not, attract men and women who are exact replicas like their parents. So him wanting someone like his mom, who is a mother, wife, lover, career woman is quite predictable. I think all men want that deep down, but the reality is different.

I think he sees that in me, like in his mind he sees the potential of me being just like her, but the fact is I'm not her. I will not be the replica of his mom, even if I wanted to because we are different. She is a Sag and I am a Leo. Both fire, but different. I just don't want to be compared. I have my own place, I work, will be in my career in 2 years. I clean... Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him. I don't know if he is just really that proud of his mom or if he is secretly saying be more like this and I'll marry you. Sigh.... I'm lost.

Don't overthink it. Even if he wants you to be that way you can't change who you are, and why would you? Imagine if you were to change according to his standards only to be dumped? Not worth it unless you two are already married

click to expand

MAKES PERFECT SENSE❤❤❤

I have been feeling this way honestly. Also..... I feel like its me who keeps trying to change to fit what he prefers and on his end he doesn't try to fit what I prefer. He says his past has made him the way he is (nonchalant, bitter, unromantic) and said eventually he will let a better side of him come out. Smh..... But that's eventually.

Posted by MoonshineLeo

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

ugh virgos will deff do that to you, always compare you to someone else. Why dont you tell him you're not his mom and if he wants that so bad he should marry her?

click to expand

—? oh trust me, you know my Leo self wants to. I'm trying to take a calmer approach, but its real hard when you have to bite your tongue

Posted by netpower
This doesnot sound good. You know you aren't that kind of woman. You will have to

communicate with him and tell him you work completely different from his mother. That you do things

differently. If he cannot compromise, then i would move on if i were you.



Virgos can be Svengali's in relationships. They will mold you into the image in their minds. This can become

controlling because the victim is supposed to conform. I would move on if you don't want such drama. Be

with someone who can accept and work with you just as you are.

I know its people who will accept me as who I am. I think what I appreciate about my Virgo is that he is pushing me in the direction to become a good woman for a man (even if its not him) he has opened my eyes a little bit on how I should be or whatever, he just does it in a criticizing way. Not easily accepted by a Leo. The communication just has to get better and I just wish he saw that I was trying instead of seeing the fact that I'm not there yet.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

click to expand

Do you express to him how you want him to be? If you have to live up to his exact standards he needs to live up to yours. Fairs fair.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

click to expand

Start telling him stories of how your father would get home from work and massage your moms feet AND wash the dishes. Tell him your gramps would bring fresh flowers to your gramma every Saturday. Paint out your own expectations.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

Do you express to him how you want him to be? If you have to live up to his exact standards he needs to live up to yours. Fairs fair.

click to expand

oh he knows.... He actually tells me he knows he's not exactly what I want, but he is working on it. At least that's what he says. But I think he thinks I should hurry up and be what he wants. He told me what he wants from me will make me a better individual and what I want from him is just for self satisfaction..... Sigh ?

Posted by desilove333

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Neno2

Posted by desilove333
Me and my Virgo guy were talking and he started to talk about his mom (like he often does) and how he wants a woman just like her. Says how she works long hours, comes home to cook and clean, have time for her daughter who lives with her and is an all around example of someone he wants to marry. He brags about her career, how many trips she can take a year, how big her house is and so on. Then if i start to look discouraged he always goes back and say how much he appreciates me, love being around me, think ill make a great mom to our kids and how he believes im a good woman to him. I appreciate how much he looks to his mother as a guidance for a woman, but should I be concerned that he is comparing me to her?? Like if I don't do something exactly how she does, then he will start to second guess us?? Im unsure of how to feel, but I don't want to be in his mother's shadow during our whole relationship.

With virgos i wouldn't worry about that?i would worry about their tendency to being too critical

oh trust me he is very critical of me. He wants me to be exactly how he wants me to be. Sometimes its OK, other times its exhausting. I think maybe he keeps talking like this cause he wants me to mimic her..... Not sure though.

Do you express to him how you want him to be? If you have to live up to his exact standards he needs to live up to yours. Fairs fair.

oh he knows.... He actually tells me he knows he's not exactly what I want, but he is working on it. At least that's what he says. But I think he thinks I should hurry up and be what he wants. He told me what he wants from me will make me a better individual and what I want from him is just for self satisfaction..... Sigh ?

click to expand

Double standards are not attractive.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Start telling him stories of how your father would get home from work and massage your moms feet AND wash the dishes. Tell him your gramps would bring fresh flowers to your gramma every Saturday. Paint out your own expectations.

click to expand

GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!! —?

wait..... Except I think he would just tell me to find someone like this. I think he'll only do as I ask AFTER he gets what he wants from me. Sad, but true.

Why are you feeling like you need to bend over backward for him? He should be trying to prove himself to you, trying to win you.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by desilove333

Posted by blackphase
Nothing turns me off more than a Mama's boy. Ain't nobody got time for that. 😛

he talks about his mom and grandma.... Says his grandma will just take his clothes and wash them, no hesitation. Fix him plates and bring them to his bedside.... Like really?? — smh I'm just in for a hard run

Start telling him stories of how your father would get home from work and massage your moms feet AND wash the dishes. Tell him your gramps would bring fresh flowers to your gramma every Saturday. Paint out your own expectations.

GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!! —?

wait..... Except I think he would just tell me to find someone like this. I think he'll only do as I ask AFTEE he gets what he wants from me. Sad, but true.

click to expand

Or you'll wake up one day and realize you don't recognize yourself at all. Whereas he's the same uncompromising selfish person he was on day one. *shakes head

Relationships survive on compromise. If your the only one bending eventually you will break.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Why are you feeling like you need to bend over backward for him? He should be trying to prove himself to you, trying to win you.

I guess its because I do feel as though he is a good guy. I think he will be a great provider and a loving husband one day. He has a career and an all around good man. I just think he is a bit hard on me. Ummm I'm not sure if I should get tougher skin or realize if we ever lived together, had kids or got married that it would be worst and the demands would increase. I'm at a cross roads.

Posted by LadyNeptune
Relationships survive on compromise. If your the only one bending eventually you will break.

———??

Posted by desilove333

Posted by LadyNeptune
Why are you feeling like you need to bend over backward for him? He should be trying to prove himself to you, trying to win you.

I guess its because I do feel as though he is a good guy. I think he will be a great provider and a loving husband one day. He has a career and an all around good man. I just think he is a bit hard on me. Ummm I'm not sure if I should get tougher skin or realize if we ever lived together, had kids or got married that it would be worst and the demands would increase. I'm at a cross roads.

click to expand

So is he a loving husband or a demanding nightmare? Which is it? To ignore the red flags your seeing now based on the promise of him being your 'dream' man would be a huge mistake.

You need to address them. And, if it doesn't change, you need to respect yourself enough to move on if need be.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by imbatgirl14
Well Virgos are extremely picky so I'm not too surprised there. Also men and women tend to subconsciously, or not, attract men and women who are exact replicas like their parents. So him wanting someone like his mom, who is a mother, wife, lover, career woman is quite predictable. I think all men want that deep down, but the reality is different.

I think he sees that in me, like in his mind he sees the potential of me being just like her, but the fact is I'm not her. I will not be the replica of his mom, even if I wanted to because we are different. She is a Sag and I am a Leo. Both fire, but different. I just don't want to be compared. I have my own place, I work, will be in my career in 2 years. I clean... Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him. I don't know if he is just really that proud of his mom or if he is secretly saying be more like this and I'll marry you. Sigh.... I'm lost.

click to expand

"Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him."

Ive ended relationships solely based on this. Virgo's appreciate the small things you do for us without us having to tell you to do so.

He's mutable your fixed. Im pretty sure "change" isn't your strongest quality

Ive never dated fixed, but i know i have a hard enough time trying to change cardinals

I agree that communication is key, but I wouldn't go so far to say he's a momma's boy. He may be a bit coddled though. I have a friend who's very successful, but his mom did a lot for him growing up. His girlfriend does a lot too as a result, but she's also busy. So she's laid down some ground rules to make him more independent. So don't be afraid to lay down your boundaries.

Virgos can also be picky and run the risk of being too critical as they try to "perfect" you. His mother and grandmother are his idea of "perfection", so it's obvious why he brings them up. Again communicating with him that you are a completely different person is fine. It is good that he is being vocal about his standards though. Some people may passive aggressively hide this information and judge you for not meeting their expectations.

Also the fact that he has a positive relationship with the women in his life is a good sign. How he regards them is how he'll regard you. It's no secret that sons use their mothers as templates for the women in their lives, the same way daughter's use their fathers. If he loves his mother, he'll be able to love you.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
This thread makes me so angry



I just can't even



Im out

lol don't be upset!!!! I know you hate Virgos. I would still love your opinion.

i don't think it's a bad thing at all that he respects and loves his mother. Virgos are particular so she must be a hell of a lady!! I find that men who respect their mothers and have a good relationship with them more often treat me with greater respect and care. I love when my man is close with his mother bc I like to spend time with their mothers myself since mine is gone. I don't think it is a problem unless they are truly a mommas boy who, in adulthood, are still taken care of by their mother. There has to be a certain level of independence and set boundaries. I think it's nice that your Virguy sees you in such a positive light. They can be super critical out of love haha.

I know my Virguy is incredibly nit picky and just picky in general but it's because he truly wants the best for both of us. now that's usually HIS idea of what is best of course lol. When the nitpicking gets a lot to bear, I try to remind myself that he only wants to help me become the best me. His heart is in the right place, but his execution may be lacking. Occasionally, I have to tell mine that I know he loves me and is trying to help, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by his picking. He might get a little butthurt but in the end, he tries to understand and backs off. Communicate your feelings to him if his behavior bothers you, or nothing will change. best wishes!!

Posted by LazyK

Posted by desilove333

Posted by imbatgirl14
Well Virgos are extremely picky so I'm not too surprised there. Also men and women tend to subconsciously, or not, attract men and women who are exact replicas like their parents. So him wanting someone like his mom, who is a mother, wife, lover, career woman is quite predictable. I think all men want that deep down, but the reality is different.

I think he sees that in me, like in his mind he sees the potential of me being just like her, but the fact is I'm not her. I will not be the replica of his mom, even if I wanted to because we are different. She is a Sag and I am a Leo. Both fire, but different. I just don't want to be compared. I have my own place, I work, will be in my career in 2 years. I clean... Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him. I don't know if he is just really that proud of his mom or if he is secretly saying be more like this and I'll marry you. Sigh.... I'm lost.

"Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him."

Ive ended relationships solely based on this. Virgo's appreciate the small things you do for us without us having to tell you to do so.

He's mutable your fixed. Im pretty sure "change" isn't your strongest quality

click to expand

uuugghhh you sound just like him— saying appreciate the small things without having to ask. I literally think he just said those exact words to me the other day. I'm convinced you all read from the same book of how to be a True Virgo or something ??. No but seriously I get it and no changing is not easy for me as you see I am a Leo. However I believe Leos are the most willing to change of the 4 fixed signs solely because we actually want to make our partners happy. So I don't know... Its a give and take.

Posted by Chuckcem
I agree that communication is key, but I wouldn't go so far to say he's a momma's boy. He may be a bit coddled though. I have a friend who's very successful, but his mom did a lot for him growing up. His girlfriend does a lot too as a result, but she's also busy. So she's laid down some ground rules to make him more independent. So don't be afraid to lay down your boundaries.

Virgos can also be picky and run the risk of being too critical as they try to "perfect" you. His mother and grandmother are his idea of "perfection", so it's obvious why he brings them up. Again communicating with him that you are a completely different person is fine. It is good that he is being vocal about his standards though. Some people may passive aggressively hide this information and judge you for not meeting their expectations.

Also the fact that he has a positive relationship with the women in his life is a good sign. How he regards them is how he'll regard you. It's no secret that sons use their mothers as templates for the women in their lives, the same way daughter's use their fathers. If he loves his mother, he'll be able to love you.

Very well stated and understood. Thank you for your feedback it makes sense. I hope he does see me in that same way and not just trying to pass time with me. I don't want tj do all this changing and becoming this ideal person for him just for him to leave or never become who I want him to be. Its frustrating but I love your response and will keep it in mind.

Posted by AbbyNormal
i don't think it's a bad thing at all that he respects and loves his mother. Virgos are particular so she must be a hell of a lady!! I find that men who respect their mothers and have a good relationship with them more often treat me with greater respect and care. I love when my man is close with his mother bc I like to spend time with their mothers myself since mine is gone. I don't think it is a problem unless they are truly a mommas boy who, in adulthood, are still taken care of by their mother. There has to be a certain level of independence and set boundaries. I think it's nice that your Virguy sees you in such a positive light. They can be super critical out of love haha.

I know my Virguy is incredibly nit picky and just picky in general but it's because he truly wants the best for both of us. now that's usually HIS idea of what is best of course lol. When the nitpicking gets a lot to bear, I try to remind myself that he only wants to help me become the best me. His heart is in the right place, but his execution may be lacking. Occasionally, I have to tell mine that I know he loves me and is trying to help, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by his picking. He might get a little butthurt but in the end, he tries to understand and backs off. Communicate your feelings to him if his behavior bothers you, or nothing will change. best wishes!!

you sound exactly like me except I haven't mastered how to Simply tell him that he is offended me instead I kinda just get offensive and it creates an argument. I know that he wants what's best for me and what's best for us as well I've never dated a Virgo before and it's really hard work. I've never been with someone who criticizes almost everything that I do and thinks that I could do almost everything a bit better. it is overwhelming at times and I do get frustrated and because of that we'll go a week or two without speaking. But then we always find our way back to each other to try to communicate our issues. I'm just hoping that we can find balance or I can be understanding enough of the Virgo concept to make this work. Otherwise it's just not going to last

Posted by desilove333

Posted by Chuckcem
I agree that communication is key, but I wouldn't go so far to say he's a momma's boy. He may be a bit coddled though. I have a friend who's very successful, but his mom did a lot for him growing up. His girlfriend does a lot too as a result, but she's also busy. So she's laid down some ground rules to make him more independent. So don't be afraid to lay down your boundaries.

Virgos can also be picky and run the risk of being too critical as they try to "perfect" you. His mother and grandmother are his idea of "perfection", so it's obvious why he brings them up. Again communicating with him that you are a completely different person is fine. It is good that he is being vocal about his standards though. Some people may passive aggressively hide this information and judge you for not meeting their expectations.

Also the fact that he has a positive relationship with the women in his life is a good sign. How he regards them is how he'll regard you. It's no secret that sons use their mothers as templates for the women in their lives, the same way daughter's use their fathers. If he loves his mother, he'll be able to love you.

Very well stated and understood. Thank you for your feedback it makes sense. I hope he does see me in that same way and not just trying to pass time with me. I don't want tj do all this changing and becoming this ideal person for him just for him to leave or never become who I want him to be. Its frustrating but I love your response and will keep it in mind.

click to expand

Yep, that's why setting boundaries is important. There's nothing wrong with bringing your best to a relationship, but don't "become" someone else for him.

Posted by desilove333

Posted by LazyK

Posted by desilove333

Posted by imbatgirl14
Well Virgos are extremely picky so I'm not too surprised there. Also men and women tend to subconsciously, or not, attract men and women who are exact replicas like their parents. So him wanting someone like his mom, who is a mother, wife, lover, career woman is quite predictable. I think all men want that deep down, but the reality is different.

I think he sees that in me, like in his mind he sees the potential of me being just like her, but the fact is I'm not her. I will not be the replica of his mom, even if I wanted to because we are different. She is a Sag and I am a Leo. Both fire, but different. I just don't want to be compared. I have my own place, I work, will be in my career in 2 years. I clean... Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him. I don't know if he is just really that proud of his mom or if he is secretly saying be more like this and I'll marry you. Sigh.... I'm lost.

"Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him."

Ive ended relationships solely based on this. Virgo's appreciate the small things you do for us without us having to tell you to do so.

He's mutable your fixed. Im pretty sure "change" isn't your strongest quality

uuugghhh you sound just like him— saying appreciate the small things without having to ask. I literally think he just said those exact words to me the other day. I'm convinced you all read from the same book of how to be a True Virgo or something ??. No but seriously I get it and no changing is not easy for me as you see I am a Leo. However I believe Leos are the most willing to change of the 4 fixed signs solely because we actually want to make our partners happy. So I don't know... Its a give and take.

click to expand

Hey, you've already made the biggest step to changing, ADMITTING

I mean you don't have to cook every day, but dayyyum at least once/twice a week. Shieeet, i'll cut that ass off quick if you can't produce no nutrient. So go on ahead and get behind that skillet and burn some shit up lioness.

But foreal, i think its all about the effort rather than being perfect.

The question is, is that really what you want to do?

Me personally, i expect anyone i get "serious" with to be a mother figure to me, because i didn't grow up with one, but thats a whole other story.

From what you stated he dosent seem like a bad catch 4 u

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Also virgos are imperfect as fuk so they can go fuk themselves. And a virgo had never dared to tell me what to do or when. Or any man. I ain't the one



You sound weak as fuk

u aint no Ms. Cleo

you a wannabe Leo

crabs in a bucket a $ $

Trynna bring Virgo down a $ $

stop fronting like you can’t be without us

“should i go to cuba with this virgo” a $ $

but naw they weak though right!!! u so Phony

u is a Chump

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Also virgos are imperfect as fuk so they can go fuk themselves. And a virgo had never dared to tell me what to do or when. Or any man. I ain't the one



You sound weak as fuk

OK well you can state how you feel that's fine. Am I weak? Not at all... I am in a relationship that is going to take more work and understanding. That's all.... I wouldn't call someone trying to help their relationship weak. Trust me, I'll be the first to agree with you by saying I think Virgos have issues, but don't we all?? Virgos do have a perfect standard that themselves have not reached yet, but we all have room to grow I believe.

Posted by LazyK

Posted by desilove333

Posted by LazyK

Posted by desilove333

Posted by imbatgirl14
Well Virgos are extremely picky so I'm not too surprised there. Also men and women tend to subconsciously, or not, attract men and women who are exact replicas like their parents. So him wanting someone like his mom, who is a mother, wife, lover, career woman is quite predictable. I think all men want that deep down, but the reality is different.

I think he sees that in me, like in his mind he sees the potential of me being just like her, but the fact is I'm not her. I will not be the replica of his mom, even if I wanted to because we are different. She is a Sag and I am a Leo. Both fire, but different. I just don't want to be compared. I have my own place, I work, will be in my career in 2 years. I clean... Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him. I don't know if he is just really that proud of his mom or if he is secretly saying be more like this and I'll marry you. Sigh.... I'm lost.

"Maybe don't cook as often as he would like, but I think I'm really good to him."

Ive ended relationships solely based on this. Virgo's appreciate the small things you do for us without us having to tell you to do so.

He's mutable your fixed. Im pretty sure "change" isn't your strongest quality

uuugghhh you sound just like him— saying appreciate the small things without having to ask. I literally think he just said those exact words to me the other day. I'm convinced you all read from the same book of how to be a True Virgo or something ??. No but seriously I get it and no changing is not easy for me as you see I am a Leo. However I believe Leos are the most willing to change of the 4 fixed signs solely because we actually want to make our partners happy. So I don't know... Its a give and take.

Hey, you've already made the biggest step to changing, ADMITTING

I mean you don't have to cook every day, but dayyyum at least once/twice a week. Shieeet, i'll cut that ass off quick if you can't produce no nutrient. So go on ahead and get behind that skillet and burn some shit up lioness.

But foreal, i think its all about the effort rather than being perfect.

The question is, is that really what you want to do?

Me personally, i expect anyone i get "serious" with to be a mother figure to me, because i didn't grow up with one, but thats a whole other story.

From what you stated he dosent seem like a bad catch 4 u

click to expand

he is a good guy, he just have been burned in his past. Girls have cheated on him several times, people have stole from him, he went through a rough childhood with his father I mean its been rough. So he meets me and suddenly I'm everything he wanted...... Then he backs back and start being super critical. Almost like he scared that he might have found the one, so he'd rather point out every flaw to convince himself maybe I'm not. Is that a Virgo thing?? Not sure if that's what's happening, but it seems that way. Are y'all scared to really love or just scared to live again after being hurt??

Posted by desilove333

Posted by netpower
This doesnot sound good. You know you aren't that kind of woman. You will have to

communicate with him and tell him you work completely different from his mother. That you do things

differently. If he cannot compromise, then i would move on if i were you.



Virgos can be Svengali's in relationships. They will mold you into the image in their minds. This can become

controlling because the victim is supposed to conform. I would move on if you don't want such drama. Be

with someone who can accept and work with you just as you are.

I know its people who will accept me as who I am. I think what I appreciate about my Virgo is that he is pushing me in the direction to become a good woman for a man (even if its not him) he has opened my eyes a little bit on how I should be or whatever, he just does it in a criticizing way. Not easily accepted by a Leo. The communication just has to get better and I just wish he saw that I was trying instead of seeing the fact that I'm not there yet.

click to expand

At the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself or else you will be miserable.

I wonder how he responds to criticism. Constant put downs are never a good sign. This already affecting

your self esteem.

Personally i would move on.