The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (Page 2)

Posted by P-Angel

Thanks to everyone who responded.

Who knows when I'll have to stop posting all together, so here's the only thing I want you all to know, and it applies to everything .....

There is no end to things. Leaving the physical body isn't death. A boy leaving you in a relationship isn't death, losing your job isn't either.

You pick up your shattered pieces, shoulder them the best you can ..... and keep moving forward. But, it's not an ending. this is the main suffering for people, it seems. They try to live for the final, as if this is as far as it rabbit hole goes ... and it's not, not even close.

So long as you think it is all there is, then you'll never be looking to the horizon and you'll likely miss tomorrow.

Life doesn't stop with death of the flesh, and I notices a lot of people in here talking in these terms.

😭

Posted by P-Angel

Thanks to everyone who responded.

Who knows when I'll have to stop posting all together, so here's the only thing I want you all to know, and it applies to everything .....

There is no end to things. Leaving the physical body isn't death. A boy leaving you in a relationship isn't death, losing your job isn't either.

You pick up your shattered pieces, shoulder them the best you can ..... and keep moving forward. But, it's not an ending. this is the main suffering for people, it seems. They try to live for the final, as if this is as far as it rabbit hole goes ... and it's not, not even close.

So long as you think it is all there is, then you'll never be looking to the horizon and you'll likely miss tomorrow.

Life doesn't stop with death of the flesh, and I notices a lot of people in here talking in these terms.

You really dont know wtf you're talking about..you have no proof that life exists after death..you just hope it is to make u feel better..same reason why the bible was made

When you die, you're done.thats it.

Roaches die everyday too,do you think its a afterlife for them? Hell no, they just decompose like the rest of us.you think your life is more important than a roach? Well its not..they work, eat & sleep just like we do..what, you think you're better than them because you can type & talk? Pfft, you aint shit.

Forgive me for saying this but your husband is crazy to feed you hot dogs and pizza. Most cancers come from the type of foods you've been eating. It might be too late to go on a plant based diet but trying it out might help. It has been proven to reverse serious health conditions. MDs don't really talk about your diet because they rather you spend tons of money on treatment. Most diseases comes from what you eat! So if you been bulging down cheeseburgers all your life you end up with some type of disease. Animals suffer so we suffer if we eat them.

Good Luck.

I know what to say-

This shit sucks ass, plain and simple.

My mom went through all this bs in the last 2 months of her life. It's not pretty or pleasant. She too also had a cancer that basically had no cure. Could only be treated until the inevitable. Had adverse reactions to chemo the first time around (changed the cocktail after which worked much better for her). As they say, if it's not the cancer, it's the chemo and/or complications from the cancer that kills you.

All I can say is find a damned good hospice and get some pallative care asap. Hospice doesn't even have to be in a facility, it can be done within your home.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
how horrific.

I was told on the day I was diagnosed that NOBODY recovers from this type of cancer.

So, I'm prepared, we have spent these past months putting all our ducks in row, and I'm ready now.

What kind of lung cancer?

I am so sorry for what is happening to you. Keep fighting.

click to expand

I wonder if it's sarcoma. Most forms in stage 4 have no cure.

Posted by P-Angel
People have been waiting for an update from me, and to be honest, I keep waiting to hear (better) news before I talk about it. This news doesn't come, and it been 6 and a half months since diagnosed and given a 12 month life span.

I'll start with the bad: My body responded horribly to chemo. The formula (as told to me by doctors) was the highest chemicals they could give me without killing me. Well, that nearly happened, quite a few times. What happens is my white blood cell count and blood platelets drop so low that I can't even move (sometimes). I'm incapacitated due to this also taking all energy away from me, since my blood cells are working on triple-extra-overtime, trying to cure the cancer invasion ... which leaves me completely helpless to be do anything else. MY husband feeds me ..... hot dogs and pizza, and bologna sandwiches.

Hell of a way to diet, but, my people can't believe it when they see me .... I haven't been skinny in years, and I refuse buy clothes, condisering they won't fit me next month If month exists.

So, last month, my doctor took me off of chemo treatments and I'm really diminishing now. Which is worse? meds that are killing you, or the illness you need the meds for?

Good News: So, now I'm a candidate for some drugs. aka: guinea pig

We'll see what happens. Buy, hey, medicine makes break throughs all the time ... you never know. I started this new drug yesterday, so it's too early to tell, that is ........ well .....

The Ugly is so severe that really there's no point in continuing.

The last ctscan I had done in late July showed that (one of) the tumors in my liver, the big one that has now grown to the size of a big grapefruit, maybe more now since I have had treatment in a while ..... well this mass has almost completely occluded my inferior vena cava.

Quick med summary for those who don't know human anatomy. You have ateries and veins. Arteries carries blood out of the heart loaded with oxygen and distributes this oxygen through out the body. Your body cannot live with oxygen in your blood. Veins carry the deoxygenated blood to the heart to replenish oxygen for the next trip of the artery. Well, you two main ones: Superior and Inferior Vena Cava, inferior runs through the bottom of the torse, extremities, reproduce organs, gut, basically everthing below the 5th verebrate, where it meets up all the minor veins to continue the cycle.

So, what it means when I was told that is : the tumor almost completely has this vein blocked. Once blocked completely, my dirty blood that is void of oxygen cannot be replenished, which means everything below my fifth vertebrate is going to die.

legs, kidneys liver ... the whole shebang will turn black become gangrenous .... at which time I kiss my ass goodbye from this wretched world.

For those who asked before ... my tumor is inoperable, it is mangled and twisted within the bile ducts.

Most people get a stint put in and/or have bypass surgery, but, I don't qualify for it. Any person in stage IV Cancer doesn't quality for surgery, nor a transplant. But, that doesn't matter in my case. Even if they were able to help this from blocking completely .... the ctscan also showed that my lung cancer has spread and the malignant nodules have all grow in size.

I was told that my odds of making to ThanksGiving would be literal miracle. Most likey the vein will be completele blocked by the end of Sept, early Oct. And once blocked, I will about 2 weeks to suffer through before the end. The pain is insufferable.

I won't make it that long, I'll close the curtain as soon as it blocks completely.

I think I said everything.

What I'm curious about is where the hell are you getting your cancer treatment from? If it's just a run of the mill hospital one, ugh.

You should have been going in for transfusions if your RBCs and platelets were dropping so low. You should be given a cocktail in your IV drip that counteracts all the nausea and overall reaction. They could also swap chemo drugs, but that there is all your choice since you know your diagnosis.

The common picture of cancer patients being sickly and thin is an outdated one and they've advanced so much in chemo to counter any of that. You should also have an RD accessible to you to help keep you properly fed to help your body counter the onslaught that chemo does.

The kicker with chemo is that it doesn't discriminate and kills ALL "renewable" cells, which is why you get the hair loss, nausea, etc. Muscle atrophy occurs because of the steroids in the chemo.

And of course, everyone is different and your reaction doesn't surprise me. It's something they tend to fail to inform you of when they give you the useless packet. Cancer forums are what helped me help my mom because even though her docs were highly qualified, they didn't even know about some of the side effects because if they haven't been studied or none of their patients have shown those symptoms, they're just as baffled as you are.

It's shitty that you gotta go through this P.

I have had proof time and time again the spirit never dies, only the physical body.....

The amount of experiences I've had with the afterlife at this stage of my life could fill a book.....amazing and uplifting stuff

My family all passed...they are all with me. Before my dad went, i asked him "will you come back and haunt me, Dad"? He laughed and said "I will try". He was a non believer and yet the strongest spiritual presence in my life. He stands by my side and supports me every day

There is something beautiful in passing over, and as PAngel says.....it is not death at all

*~*~*~*~*~*

< 3

My thoughts are with you.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope and pray it gets better for you. I know you have accepted this for what it is, but I'm still going to pray for you. Miracles do happen, and I really hope it does in your case. I can't imagine how you feel, but I do hope you feel better now that you have this off your chest. ❤

My father also had 12 months, also the same rule of chimo. Always same stupid way to cure. He was alive for a year yes and died in coma in last days.

You have to find a way to stop it to grow, to do what you want most in life, non stop.

Think why they know its one year of life? The treatment has a timing and blow you out until you die, few recover from this type o treatment.

My uncle has one too not so severe but is life has no quality now, was operated until no way to operate anymore, with a bag inside, with chimo all the way. If my time comes i will not take chimo.

My father favorite movies were westerns, looking at the title.

The cancer in the lungs isn't primary, the primary cancer is in the liver and spread to the lungs. So, all of the cancer in my body is the same kind of caner.

It's called: Cholangiocarcinomo, and mine is intrahepatic, which means it originated inside of the liver bile ducts, which in turn makes it inoperable.

thank you for commenting, Bruisy

Although i dont know you, i'm sincerly hoping the doctors find a cure that may give you a chance! or at least, ease your pain a little bit... I'm sending you love thoughts! ☀♥

Posted by black_kevorkian

You really dont know wtf you're talking about..you have no proof that life exists after death..you just hope it is to make u feel better..same reason why the bible was made

When you die, you're done.thats it.

Roaches die everyday too,do you think its a afterlife for them? Hell no, they just decompose like the rest of us.you think your life is more important than a roach? Well its not..they work, eat & sleep just like we do..what, you think you're better than them because you can type & talk? Pfft, you aint shit.

Is gonna be ok, brah

Yeah I've got nothing here.. except that you were here when I first signed up eons ago so you're like my immediate DXP family. And as with family sometimes you like them and sometimes you don't, but they're family lol.

Experiences in the last two years or so have left me more agnostic than ever. Like energy, life can be neither created or destroyed, it only transforms. And you're about to enbark on the next big adventure. That's about it.

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Reincarnation

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
how horrific.

I was told on the day I was diagnosed that NOBODY recovers from this type of cancer.

So, I'm prepared, we have spent these past months putting all our ducks in row, and I'm ready now.

What kind of lung cancer?

I am so sorry for what is happening to you. Keep fighting.

I wonder if it's sarcoma. Most forms in stage 4 have no cure.

You again.

click to expand

Excuse me?

Posted by LostPisces
My father also had 12 months, also the same rule of chimo. Always same stupid way to cure. He was alive for a year yes and died in coma in last days.

You have to find a way to stop it to grow, to do what you want most in life, non stop.

Think why they know its one year of life? The treatment has a timing and blow you out until you die, few recover from this type o treatment.

My uncle has one too not so severe but is life has no quality now, was operated until no way to operate anymore, with a bag inside, with chimo all the way. If my time comes i will not take chimo.

My father favorite movies were westerns, looking at the title.

"Few recover from this treatment."

Yes and no. Your two experiences do not equal everyone. CHEMO works without issue for some and not so much for the rest. Depends on the type of chemo and cancer involved.

The more involved both are, the more negative effects.

This is why preventative care is so important. If you're able to catch cancer early enough, many can be nipped in the bud immediately and one wouldn't have to go through so much harrowing chemo and surgeries.

It's all definitely a case by case.

Medicine still has a long way to go considering it's a constant learning process. New cancers are popping up all the time and getting proper diagnoses and treatment can be a bitch. My mom was in the same boat as P- hers was rare, but had no name, and we were lucky as fuck to find her oncologist who had actually seen one other case. Zero studies done on hers, it was so rare.

All they can do in a situation like that, and what it seems they've done with P- is take stabs in the dark with going after it as best they know how.

This thread brought me to tears!! I hate to hear there hasn't been any good progress!! I pray that you're pain meds are helping to keep you comfortable for the remainder of your life on this earth.

How is your son and husband taking this? Watching someone you love die is truly one of the most agonizing things to witness. Are they in any kind of grief counseling? Do you have a hospice nurse?

happy birthday to your husband, P. Hope the prescriptions help you through this, to lessen the pain. And family and friends too, by your side.

I say if you gonna go down. Might as well go down fighting tooth and nail. Like a soldier.

Go easy P....

Damn, missed this one, never agreed with chemo but what choice do people have?

Love you P Angel, like a good Pisces you're ready for the inevitable with all ducks in line. Let's just hope you're greeted by Sexy Sean Bean when the time comes, that's Sharpe Sean Bean

I have thought of her so much!! I keep checking on here to see if there is a post.. 😢

I hope she didn't try to log a last time just to get the bad gateway page

Posted by LuckyLibra979
Anybody got an update on P-angel?

awww - your baby looks adorable

Posted by GC02
I hope we hear from her again soon. 😢

I think she had posted a few days ago in a thread why Pisces hate Scorpios.

Yes! The the tread is:

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

Posted by Gemitati
Yes! The the tread is:

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

P-Angels last post was 2 months ago.

Posted by LuckyLibra979

Posted by tctao

Posted by LuckyLibra979
Anybody got an update on P-angel?

awww - your baby looks adorable

Thanks!!! He's a big boy! 10 lbs after he made his 1st month

click to expand

how sweet !

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Gemitati
Yes! The the tread is:

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

P-Angels last post was 2 months ago.

click to expand

We're the post

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

made then?

I don't see date on my phone and we were talking in real time and her post popped.

Unless I am mistaking.

I was actually surprised that no one jumped up like 'how are you P-Angel?'

Maybe I am out...which I am lol

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Gemitati
Yes! The the tread is:

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

P-Angels last post was 2 months ago.

We're the post

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

made then?

I don't see date on my phone and we were talking in real time and her post popped.

Unless I am mistaking.

I was actually surprised that no one jumped up like 'how are you P-Angel?'

Maybe I am out...which I am lol

It's her ghost. Nobody will believe you

click to expand

You don't have to believe me!

It's written! Unless that tread was made 2 months ago and resurfaced a few days ago!

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by Gemitati
Yes! The the tread is:

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

P-Angels last post was 2 months ago.

We're the post

Why do so many Pisces seem to hate Scorpios?

made then?

I don't see date on my phone and we were talking in real time and her post popped.

Unless I am mistaking.

I was actually surprised that no one jumped up like 'how are you P-Angel?'

Maybe I am out...which I am lol

It's her ghost. Nobody will believe you

You don't have to believe me!

It's written! Unless that tread was made 2 months ago and resurfaced a few days ago!

Link it

click to expand

I can't from the phone. Just search for the name of the post. It took me 30 pages! Common lazy ass! Lol

I saw it gemitati

A few weeks ago? Wags told me she posted something before the crash. Came back to see for myself, but it doesn’t show up when you search her name.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by GC02
I hope we hear from her again soon. 😢

I think she had posted a few days ago in a thread why Pisces hate Scorpios.

click to expand

No, she hasn't. That thread is one year old and you saw P-Angel on the first page.

I'm afraid she is gone.

Posted by Undine

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by GC02
I hope we hear from her again soon. 😢

I think she had posted a few days ago in a thread why Pisces hate Scorpios.

No, she hasn't. That thread is one year old and you saw P-Angel on the first page.

I'm afraid she is gone.

click to expand

I figured it today.

Just didn't want to admit it.

Hope you are wrong. It sucks but if she is pain free - 🙏

Very sorry to hear about P-Angel. My condolences to her family, her friends, and dxpnet.

Posted by P-Angel
My name is Smokey I am P Angel's husband, P Angel passed away on November 27th 2017.

Damn,

I just realized the first post was edited to show this.

RIP @PAngel

Posted by P-Angel
My name is Smokey I am P Angel's husband, P Angel passed away on November 27th 2017.

Thank you for telling us - my condolences to you and your family ~

my deepest sympathies.

she was a polarising character on the boards, who spoke her mind honestly and passionately.

i, amongst many, will miss and have missed her company.

my thoughts are with you and your family.

Omg, I was just thinking of her the other day. So sorry to hear this 😢

Posted by P-Angel
My name is Smokey I am P Angel's husband, P Angel passed away on November 27th 2017.

I am sorry for your loss.

This is a punch to the gut. First Nefer, now P.

I'm sorry for your loss Smokey, I'll miss seeing her posts here.

Posted by P-Angel
My name is Smokey I am P Angel's husband, P Angel passed away on November 27th 2017.

I'm sorry for your loss, peace to you and your family.

sorry for your loss, smokey, condolences to you and your loved ones.

My condolences, sir.

Condolences Smokey to you and your family, P was a favorite of mine and thank you for letting us know.

RIP P-Angel 😢

Sorry for your loss Smokey

May she now rest in peace

❤️

I didn't know P-Angel here on dxp but may she rest in peace.

We need to kill cancer once and for all