Astrobyn
@Astrobyn
11 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 592 · Posts: 4512 · Topics: 128
What percent of your sexual partners were nonconsensual?
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I was thinking about this the other day, and my number is 22% .
And that perspective made me think WTF? wow, that over 1 out of 5 men.
And that perspective made me think WTF? wow, that over 1 out of 5 men.
Posted by GammaArietis
This question is confusing to me. There is sexual assault in which case I wouldn’t refer to them as a sexual partner. Or are you strictly talking about pressure from an intimate partner?
the total number of people you've had a sexual incounter with vs the number of those people that were not consensual.
Posted by GammaArietis
This question is confusing to me. There is sexual assault in which case I wouldn’t refer to them as a sexual partner. Or are you strictly talking about pressure from an intimate partner?
the total number of people you've had a sexual incounter with vs the number of those people that were not consensual.
zero, but in this era of #metoo, when consensual relationships become non consensual ones when the girl doesn't get the career she expected I guess we'll have to wait for a decade more to be sure
but I guess it's just a jab at that other user and his thread
Posted by Astrobyn
What percent of your sexual partners were nonconsensual?
# of nonconsensual individuals divided by the total # of individuals.
none of mine were nonconsensual and i'm not a virgin.
note for incel types, i learned in school 0/0 is infinity
Sexual partners? Zero.
I survived a rape attempt at knife point by a stranger, when I was 19. He managed to drag me into the bushes and broke my jeans zip and my nose before he run away when he saw the park ranger running towards us, alerted by my screams.
I survived a rape attempt at knife point by a stranger, when I was 19. He managed to drag me into the bushes and broke my jeans zip and my nose before he run away when he saw the park ranger running towards us, alerted by my screams.
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
Posted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
Cheer up, it's not Christmas yet!
Back in high school, I was invited over to a guys house by my female friend. She was dating some other guy who was there.
I guess they thought I was on the same page of putting out.
They actually trapped me in a room and I had to argue with them to let me leave. Eventually I left and nothing was inserted into me and I didn’t lay a hand on anyone.
I told a trusted teacher and she told her son about it and he spoke a few choice words to them. Her son, I felt, always had a crush on me. I remember the double take he did when he first saw me. He was always a standup dude.
I was one of the lucky ones
I guess they thought I was on the same page of putting out.
They actually trapped me in a room and I had to argue with them to let me leave. Eventually I left and nothing was inserted into me and I didn’t lay a hand on anyone.
I told a trusted teacher and she told her son about it and he spoke a few choice words to them. Her son, I felt, always had a crush on me. I remember the double take he did when he first saw me. He was always a standup dude.
I was one of the lucky ones
Posted by UndinePosted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
Cheer up, it's not Christmas yet!click to expand
😖🥴
Posted by cakePosted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
With all the parties coming up and the tap running dry for awhile, might be a good time to discuss it to raise awareness..click to expand
Perfect answer!
Na I've never forced a woman into sex. I have had sex with women who wouldn't have thought in a million years it would happen with me though. For me it's never been a thing where I think to myself "I have to have sex with this woman." It's more of a build up between both of us. I try to keep myself on her level. If she is 100% into me I pretty much know sex is about to happen. Typically I let her make that obvious/ innate it. That is the safest way to go about it for everyone imo.
2 nonconsensual
divided by
9 men total (including nonconsensual)
= 22% nonconsensual
The point to all the math was just to see these experience from a different perspective. So, when I tell myself 20% of all the men that have been with, happened without my consent. My personal experience may have taught my subconscious 20% of the men will do this, and this is how I see and interact with the world.
The point of the thread, was me reading a guy on here being so flippant about the topic. (I get there are men who are not, whom I sure reside somewhere in that other 80% ) I don’t care about that dude and what he thinks personally, this is not an attack on him. Its just funny to me how we have completely different ideas about this.
I feel like a I have a good understanding of how often this happens to women, I just wanted to see some numbers. This is just me trying to explore some ideas.
Merry Christmas
divided by
9 men total (including nonconsensual)
= 22% nonconsensual
The point to all the math was just to see these experience from a different perspective. So, when I tell myself 20% of all the men that have been with, happened without my consent. My personal experience may have taught my subconscious 20% of the men will do this, and this is how I see and interact with the world.
The point of the thread, was me reading a guy on here being so flippant about the topic. (I get there are men who are not, whom I sure reside somewhere in that other 80% ) I don’t care about that dude and what he thinks personally, this is not an attack on him. Its just funny to me how we have completely different ideas about this.
I feel like a I have a good understanding of how often this happens to women, I just wanted to see some numbers. This is just me trying to explore some ideas.
Merry Christmas
Posted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
It's not misery, and its not my intention to trigger people.
I'm just over here using my Gem moon to do Gem Moonie things like analyzing feelings.
Posted by cakePosted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
With all the parties coming up and the tap running dry for awhile, might be a good time to discuss it to raise awareness..click to expand
Very good point! Thanks for the uplifting spin. You’re absolutely right.
Posted by ImperfectStormPosted by AstrobynPosted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
It's not misery, and its not my intention to trigger people.
I'm just over here using my Gem moon to do Gem Moonie things like analyzing feelings.
My son is a Scorpio sun/Gemini moon.. he’s only 7 but he is sooo inquisitive ❤️ I love how his mind works and how attentive he is to things that you wouldn’t think would concern a 7 year old.click to expand
I had so many questions as a kid, this most annoyed my father. I figured out later in life half of the answers he gave me were bullshit. Thank god internet came along.
I know there is a certain type of dude out there, I've had brushes over the years with a few of them that made remarks that really made one wonder. One of the guys in my program made a comment about a week ago about how he goes to a certain club and basically said that: "the chicks there are so high they really can't say no." It's not exactly what he said, but very, very close. It still bothers me and I know if I bring it up, he will only say he was joking.
To add, one of the things I'm still mulling over is that the way in which he made that remark was with levity, like its kind of hard to pair the content of his statement with the tone. Dude was raised by a single mother that doted on him too. I think some people out there are really damaged.
To add, one of the things I'm still mulling over is that the way in which he made that remark was with levity, like its kind of hard to pair the content of his statement with the tone. Dude was raised by a single mother that doted on him too. I think some people out there are really damaged.
Posted by Wizardz_
To me the thread read how many people have you had sex with without their consent i.e you were the perpetrator
I was kind of stoned when I made the thread, but I clarified my intent with a clear head.
I guess the title could be kind of ambiguous, I don't like to influence the responses to much. But it's interesting that you read it that way. Do you feel like people could see you as the perpetrator, maybe just because of your sex?
I forgot the best part of my story…
Those guys were hoping to start a rap group. Popular guys that seemed to have the world at their feet.
20 years later, no one has ever heard of them or their countless baby mamas.
But people have heard of me.
Those guys were hoping to start a rap group. Popular guys that seemed to have the world at their feet.
20 years later, no one has ever heard of them or their countless baby mamas.
But people have heard of me.
Posted by nanobotzPosted by AntiphatesPosted by nanobotzPosted by Antiphates
How are cases where it started as non-consensual but became consensual to be classified?
Stockholm syndrome
You mean it would remain non-consensual?
Yes. Unbeknownst to the victimclick to expand
I do think that there can be an element of needing more control in that situation. If you obviously don't have control over it happening, you can have a little control over how its happening, and how you experience it.
You can also get into the argument that girls are raised to comply, be nice, be agreeable even if it makes them feel uncomfortable, so i see how that training can lend itself to this situation.
Posted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
I was never raped but I almost got sexually assaulted by a school bus driver back in high school. My class was dismissed early and I was the first one to climb onto the bus. I was reading a book and looked up to see the driver in front of my seat with his pants down and asked me to touch his limp dick. Told him I'll chop it off if he doesn't get it out of my face and he did. I never told anyone about it except my recent ex Ram.
Looking back I know I was lucky that's all he did. I know he could've done worse after I told him I'd chop it off. I never told anyone close to me out of fear of being judged. I was pretty wild in high school, always partying so I knew if I told anyone about it, even my mom, they'd call me a whore despite being a virgin until college. Even to this day I'm ashamed of it. I know it wasn't my fault but still..
Looking back I know I was lucky that's all he did. I know he could've done worse after I told him I'd chop it off. I never told anyone close to me out of fear of being judged. I was pretty wild in high school, always partying so I knew if I told anyone about it, even my mom, they'd call me a whore despite being a virgin until college. Even to this day I'm ashamed of it. I know it wasn't my fault but still..
I think it’s 10% but I don’t like my mind to dwell on these things for too long, or too in depth, anymore. Non consensual sex messed me up at an early age and I’m only now getting over my sexual hang ups. And it makes me really sad that just about every woman has experienced this even once in their lives. It’s not right….
Posted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
Love Hard Candy for a long time, I’ll check out the other thanks!
Posted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.click to expand
In my situation, the first time it happened when I was really young. My family didn’t talk about sex, didn’t talk about consent—hell, I thought I was dying when I first got my period and they still explained nothing. So for me, I was in shock, I said no no no and he kept on. I froze, terrified, my brain on the fritz. It’s not something anyone prepared me for so I had no idea how to handle the situation. And that’s really what it is, praying on youth and naïveté. Every time it happened, I was very young.
Posted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.click to expand
Do you find it odd that so many men subject women to sexual abuse?
Rape scenes are quite normal and quite accepted in movies.
Posted by ImperfectStorm
One was a guy I went to school with, I was in the backyard laying out in the sun when he called and said he was coming to get some cds that he had loaned me. He was on his way and not far, so when I came back into the house to find the cds I was still in my swimsuit. He got there a couple minutes later to get the cds, I lived with my sister at the time but she wasn’t home she was working. (we were in our early 20s) it happened incredibly fast he basically pulled my bikini bottom down and forced me over the kitchen table, then it was over just as quick as it started. I was in shock so I didn’t flip out or fight him like I probably should have, but I never spoke to him again. I felt like since I knew him and since I was wearing a bikini, I kind of deserved it (thanks to social conditioning).
10 years later I would see him at my job because he had a baby with my coworker, he would say hi but I tried to avoid him, it was so uncomfortable. I never told her what happened I just wanted to forget it. I struggled with shame because I felt like I should have changed into clothes before he got there, but I wasn’t wearing the bikini to entice him, I was sunbathing long before he even announced that he was coming. Men should be able to control themselves regardless of what a woman is wearing. He was a cancer.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. No you shouldn't have to change clothes to avoid getting assaulted. What happened wasn't your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He should because he's such a disgusting person. Anyone that force themselves on someone is. I hope you have healed from this and doesn't blame yourself for something that wasn't in your control. ❤️
Reading all of these stories make me sad. I guess I'm lucky I've never had anything like this happen to me. 🙏
Posted by GammaArietisPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
In cultures where access to women is restricted, men will dress little boys up as women and rape them. So when you take women out of the equation, rape still happens. What remains? Men that rape.click to expand
I actually had someone try to debate that more men in prison get raped by men then women in the normal world. Imagine someone actually doing research, and coming up with those statistics.
Posted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
Do you find it odd that so many men subject women to sexual abuse?
Rape scenes are quite normal and quite accepted in movies.click to expand
I do, but at the same time don't. I was raised by strong women. That isn't to undermine the women who were truly raped and manipulated by fucked up men and women. I just always looked at women as a strong type of influence. More than men even.
Posted by zandomenicaPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
rape exist because there are rapers
sexual abuse is not odd or unusual, exactly the opposite: it's systemic violence and a war against women
if you're surprised or don't acknowledge that men perpetrate that - you're part of the problem sorry not sorryclick to expand
How am I a part of the problem exactly? I find this extremely useful information for men and women alike. I realize many are quick to call a specific person the problem. The abuser is truly the problem imo. How are people who are less informed the problem, and how would you explain it to those type of people? Would you rather people less informed continue to be blind and feel like they are stupid, or could you describe it in a way that is informative and progressive?
Posted by zandomenicaPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
rape exist because there are rapers
sexual abuse is not odd or unusual, exactly the opposite: it's systemic violence and a war against women
if you're surprised or don't acknowledge that men perpetrate that - you're part of the problem sorry not sorryclick to expand
You mean rappers like Jay-Z, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Drake and so on... ? 🤔
It does make sense for some of them - but i don't think they're all rapists, tho...
men make me sick.....
Posted by zandomenicaPosted by nevesPosted by zandomenicaPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
rape exist because there are rapers
sexual abuse is not odd or unusual, exactly the opposite: it's systemic violence and a war against women
if you're surprised or don't acknowledge that men perpetrate that - you're part of the problem sorry not sorry
You mean rappers like Jay-Z, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Drake and so on... ? 🤔
It does make sense for some of them - but i don't think they're all rapists, tho...
thanks for the language lesson, i appreciate itclick to expand
You're welcome... 🤷♂️
Posted by Gem03
men make me sick.....
I bet they do. I also bet you are the type who fully believes in toxic masculinity. Which is 100% a real thing. Just know men aren't aloud to show emotion or cry to other men. They are looked at as weak, cringy, or not worthy. Which I actually agree with, because society raised me to see it that way. Men that rape women are fucked up, and should suffer. Men who rape men are also fucked up and should suffer. Men who can't open up because people like you put them into a category whether they belong in it or not, aren't fucked up though. You make men what you believe they are.
Posted by SoulPosted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
Do you find it odd that so many men subject women to sexual abuse?
Rape scenes are quite normal and quite accepted in movies.
I do, but at the same time don't. I was raised by strong women. That isn't to undermine the women who were truly raped and manipulated by fucked up men and women. I just always looked at women as a strong type of influence. More than men even.click to expand
Not surprising.
The majority can never really understand what the minority goes through.
You don’t “see” it because you don’t have to.
It doesn’t affect you on a individual level.
I would have a sit down with the women in your family and ask them about their experiences
Posted by TemporaryAccommodation
Happened to me.
I'm a guy. I was 14. I was grabbed, dragged to the floor and had my head repeatedly smacked against the concrete til I was nearly passing out.
Then he pulled my uniform down and went to work.
Shit happens. You pick yourself up and carry on.
I really find myself not having empathy for a lot of women because they seem to just stay frozen in that moment and not moving on. A self perpetuation of victimhood.
Your last paragraph is a bit frightening
Much like the stripper who finally got off the pole but judges the strippers still on the pole
Posted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
Do you find it odd that so many men subject women to sexual abuse?
Rape scenes are quite normal and quite accepted in movies.
I do, but at the same time don't. I was raised by strong women. That isn't to undermine the women who were truly raped and manipulated by fucked up men and women. I just always looked at women as a strong type of influence. More than men even.
Not surprising.
The majority can never really understand what the minority goes through.
You don’t “see” it because you don’t have to.
It doesn’t affect you on a individual level.
I would have a sit down with the women in your family and ask them about their experiencesclick to expand
I have. My grandmother beat my grandfather over the head with a glass apple until he was out cold one night he was being slightly aggressive. My mother beat her husband at the time to the point he wasn't responding anymore, then threw him outside in the rain and left him there all night. I'm just not use to the idea of men being the stronger force in any relationship. Even my own father explained to me at a young age how important never being aggressive towards woman was. To never physically hurt a woman was a life lesson I was taught. By a man who actually fucked his life up eventually, but was strong on his beliefs towards treating women with respect no matter what.
Hate it when people play mind games with sensitive issues. What kind of question is that?! Why not simply ask: Did you ever experience rape (if so how many times)? 🤨
That's like touching other sensitives topics like bullying or suicide and be like: "How many times did you enjoy getting beaten to a pulp? Or... How many beatings did it took - to get used to pain or the taste of your own blood? Or... How many times did your suicide attempts turn you on?" And so on and so forth...
The OP sounds so casual... as if it's a topic about beer consumption or smoking (especially the way the question is phrased). Jeez...
That's like touching other sensitives topics like bullying or suicide and be like: "How many times did you enjoy getting beaten to a pulp? Or... How many beatings did it took - to get used to pain or the taste of your own blood? Or... How many times did your suicide attempts turn you on?" And so on and so forth...
The OP sounds so casual... as if it's a topic about beer consumption or smoking (especially the way the question is phrased). Jeez...
Posted by SoulPosted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
Do you find it odd that so many men subject women to sexual abuse?
Rape scenes are quite normal and quite accepted in movies.
I do, but at the same time don't. I was raised by strong women. That isn't to undermine the women who were truly raped and manipulated by fucked up men and women. I just always looked at women as a strong type of influence. More than men even.
Not surprising.
The majority can never really understand what the minority goes through.
You don’t “see” it because you don’t have to.
It doesn’t affect you on a individual level.
I would have a sit down with the women in your family and ask them about their experiences
I have. My grandmother beat my grandfather over the head with a glass apple until he was out cold one night he was being slightly aggressive. My mother beat her husband at the time to the point he wasn't responding anymore, then threw him outside in the rain and left him there all night. I'm just not use to the idea of men being the stronger force in any relationship. Even my own father explained to me at a young age how important never being aggressive towards woman was. To never physically hurt a woman was a life lesson I was taught. By a man who actually fucked his life up eventually, but was strong on his beliefs towards treating women with respect no matter what.click to expand
Ahhh I gather what you’re doing. I wasn’t sure at first but now I do.
By the way your answer, you seem to not want to bear the brunt from women who have been sexually assaulted by men. You don’t even bring the word “men” into your postings as the perpetrators. I would have even allowed “some men” even tho we all know qualifiers are boring and take up keystrokes.
I do agree that men can be the victims of sexual assumption but someone your relays are dead set against not seein the reality of a lot of womens experiences.
Devils advocates times a thousand
The “this doesn’t feel odd to me or that doesn’t feel odd to me” talk does not help anyone. Especially if you’re trying to prove some illogical point.
I’m just here to say that some of your responses detract and do not add value
Posted by neves
Hate it when people play mind games with sensitive issues. What kind of question is that?! Why not simply ask: Did you ever experience rape (if so how many times)? 🤨
That's like touching other sensitives topics like bullying or suicide and be like: "How many times did you enjoy getting beaten to a pulp? Or... How many beatings did it took - to get used to pain or the taste of your own blood? Or... How many times did your suicide attempts turn you on?" And so on and so forth...
The OP sounds so casual... as if it's a topic about beer consumption or smoking (especially the way the question is phrased). Jeez...
I actually found zero fault in how she wrote her OP. I understood 100%
To accuse her of game playing is a bit of a leap tho
Chalk it up to Mercury in synastry
Now if your post is meant to detract, I would please beg you to check yourself and ask yourself why you don’t want to stay on topic
Posted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by DMVPosted by SoulPosted by zandomenica
all women went through some kind of sexual abuse in life - and if men can't recognize that, they're part of the problem
as a scorpio moon, the idea of revenge is kind of enticing in this circumstance
have y'all ever watched "hard candy" (2005) and "promising young women" (2020)?
I do find it odd all women go though some type of sexual abuse. I've noticed most if not all women I've know have some type of tormentor due to some type of sexual abuse. It makes me wonder why. I refuse to believe women are weak, and just prone to this type of abuse. I know more then enough women who would kill a man or woman if they tried to betray her mentally or physically. There has to be something else. Something I can't quite describe, because I'm not a woman, nor have I been sexually abused. I have had a handful of women completely fool me and take advantage of my sex drive for some type of gain. Whether it be money, or just knowing the cards are forever in their favor. Though I can't use that as a point to argue anything. If I did I would be looked at as either masochistic, or one who blames victims. I want it to be known I'm neither of those. At least from my own perspective. One that us open for debate.
Do you find it odd that so many men subject women to sexual abuse?
Rape scenes are quite normal and quite accepted in movies.
I do, but at the same time don't. I was raised by strong women. That isn't to undermine the women who were truly raped and manipulated by fucked up men and women. I just always looked at women as a strong type of influence. More than men even.
Not surprising.
The majority can never really understand what the minority goes through.
You don’t “see” it because you don’t have to.
It doesn’t affect you on a individual level.
I would have a sit down with the women in your family and ask them about their experiences
I have. My grandmother beat my grandfather over the head with a glass apple until he was out cold one night he was being slightly aggressive. My mother beat her husband at the time to the point he wasn't responding anymore, then threw him outside in the rain and left him there all night. I'm just not use to the idea of men being the stronger force in any relationship. Even my own father explained to me at a young age how important never being aggressive towards woman was. To never physically hurt a woman was a life lesson I was taught. By a man who actually fucked his life up eventually, but was strong on his beliefs towards treating women with respect no matter what.
Ahhh I gather what you’re doing. I wasn’t sure at first but now I do.
By the way your answer, you seem to not want to bear the brunt from women who have been sexually assaulted by men. You don’t even bring the word “men” into your postings as the perpetrators. I would have even allowed “some men” even tho we all know qualifiers are boring and take up keystrokes.
I do agree that men can be the victims of sexual assumption but someone your relays are dead set against not seein the reality of a lot of womens experiences.
Devils advocates times a thousand
The “this doesn’t feel odd to me or that doesn’t feel odd to me” talk does not help anyone. Especially if you’re trying to prove some illogical point.
I’m just here to say that some of your responses detract and do not add valueclick to expand
The best part is, you don't even know how much I can relate to the topic. Nor will you. In the end, I'm the problem. Just remember that. I'm the punching bag in this situation. Which is fine. I put myself in that situation in the first place, did I not?
Posted by ImperfectStormPosted by DMVPosted by TemporaryAccommodation
Happened to me.
I'm a guy. I was 14. I was grabbed, dragged to the floor and had my head repeatedly smacked against the concrete til I was nearly passing out.
Then he pulled my uniform down and went to work.
Shit happens. You pick yourself up and carry on.
I really find myself not having empathy for a lot of women because they seem to just stay frozen in that moment and not moving on. A self perpetuation of victimhood.
Your last paragraph is a bit frightening
Much like the stripper who finally got off the pole but judges the strippers still on the pole
Agreed. If it looks like and sounds like projection, it probably is….click to expand
It’s just a bit inhumane to judge someone else’s healing journey.
There’s no book on how to heal that will appeal to every single person.
It’s just wrong to judge someone’s healing journey just because you’ve supposedly healed.
Posted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
You were also free to see your way out of this thread.
So maybe a little of you enjoys a bit of misery since you stuck around long enough to write AND hit the post button.
Maybe it will do someone in this thread good to share and and someone to read
Ask yourself if you are a hindrance to healing? Are you a detractor?
Posted by cakePosted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
With all the parties coming up and the tap running dry for awhile, might be a good time to discuss it to raise awareness..click to expand
💯 perfect answer
Posted by SoulPosted by Gem03
men make me sick.....
I bet they do. I also bet you are the type who fully believes in toxic masculinity. Which is 100% a real thing. Just know men aren't aloud to show emotion or cry to other men. They are looked at as weak, cringy, or not worthy. Which I actually agree with, because society raised me to see it that way. Men that rape women are fucked up, and should suffer. Men who rape men are also fucked up and should suffer. Men who can't open up because people like you put them into a category whether they belong in it or not, aren't fucked up though. You make men what you believe they are.click to expand
lol, that's like trying to convince a racist - that the color of ones skin does not define oneself as a human being. If someone is in a state of tunnel-vision hate... it's close to impossible for them to experience a paradigm shift - by contesting their views - by trying to a show a different side and such... Since the mind of the one in question - is trained to ignore any facts that contradict their strong beliefs (the stronger the hate - the stronger the belief), on the other hand - it's also trained to find faults and focus on the negative with ease. Thus, change either comes from them (by ones choice) - or is influenced by an impactful external factor (in cases like hers - that usually implies an influential encounter - some guy that has a strong positive impact).
Posted by DMVPosted by neves
Hate it when people play mind games with sensitive issues. What kind of question is that?! Why not simply ask: Did you ever experience rape (if so how many times)? 🤨
That's like touching other sensitives topics like bullying or suicide and be like: "How many times did you enjoy getting beaten to a pulp? Or... How many beatings did it took - to get used to pain or the taste of your own blood? Or... How many times did your suicide attempts turn you on?" And so on and so forth...
The OP sounds so casual... as if it's a topic about beer consumption or smoking (especially the way the question is phrased). Jeez...
I actually found zero fault in how she wrote her OP. I understood 100%
To accuse her of game playing is a bit of a leap tho
Chalk it up to Mercury in synastry
Now if your post is meant to detract, I would please beg you to check yourself and ask yourself why you don’t want to stay on topicclick to expand
Since you put it like that - you could apply the same theory to my Mercury (why you can't see my point of view - or why i can't see hers - through same logic as yours and such...). Coincidentally (since i don't like/intend to use astrology as a scapegoat) - my Mercury is in Taurus (practical way of thinking - dabbling with facts and figures) - which would imply that Mercury in Pisces confuses meh (don't even know your astrological placements - but Mercury in Pisces would fit - this conundrum).
Beyond the astro-talk - and to answer your question (well, what you seem to imply): No, i don't have any experience with rape - not even close. Unless it's about the non-sexual type, then yes - over 90% was non-consensual (on their part). But that's a thing of the past, distant past. For some might be helpful to talk about it (after all - that's what therapy is all about), but... there's also people who yearn to feed their own demons - with other people's trauma/pain (so called misery loves company and such).
Any more questions? Bluntly put if you please - cause i'm not into guessing (or reading between lines).
Posted by DMVPosted by saggurl88
Such a sad and traumatic topic for Christmas Eve.
A serious buzzkill.
This seems like a misery loves company topic.
Maybe I don’t understand the question either.
You were also free to see your way out of this thread.
So maybe a little of you enjoys a bit of misery since you stuck around long enough to write AND hit the post button.
Maybe it will do someone in this thread good to share and and someone to read
Ask yourself if you are a hindrance to healing? Are you a detractor?click to expand
I was also free to comment.
I also commented on someone else’s point of view and said they were right, that the topic could bring awareness to others.
This thread went tons more pages, so clearly my 4 lined post wasn’t an issue.
Ask yourself the questions you need answers for.
I asked, answered, and understood them in the 2 posts I made 11 hours ago.
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