Is CHIVALRY dead?

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Stinger408scorp
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Posted by MIIeFisk
But to answer your question, apparently it isnt. Last time I was out with a guy, he was pulling moves outta the book. Opened doors for me (car and building), walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk, pulled out chairs, helped me put on my coat. He was a Libra.
I did pull the chair out one time and didn't put it back in and asked my ex to sit ? Payback cause she did it to me before.
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Stinger408scorp
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Posted by MIIeFisk
Posted by Stinger408scorp
Posted by MIIeFisk
But to answer your question, apparently it isnt. Last time I was out with a guy, he was pulling moves outta the book. Opened doors for me (car and building), walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk, pulled out chairs, helped me put on my coat. He was a Libra.
I did pull the chair out one time and didn't put it back in and asked my ex to sit ? Payback cause she did it to me before.


Because Scorpio.

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—? yep I blame scorp on this one.
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Stinger408scorp
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Stinger408scorp
Posted by tiziani
Opening car doors always seemed awkward to me. No problem in terms of doing it, but actually telling her "don't move" and making her wait an extra 20 seconds to get out the car is awkward. Most of the time it's a pointless custom, depending on dress.
The cap I was seeing did open the door for me I thought that was shweet ? Lol
Well there you have it. Chivalry: Pointless but sweet.
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lol for a female to do it gotta give her props —
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Stinger408scorp
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Posted by MIIeFisk
Posted by Stinger408scorp
Posted by MIIeFisk
It was nice to be treated like a lady. But at the same time I can kinda see how it can also feel like you're being handled like a delicate porcelain doll.
I love being handled like a doll ? lol I only do it when she least expect it and it won't be every single time.
Everyone knows that in every Scorpio male is a delicate woman.

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You got me rollin on that one lol
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Kodak
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Posted by MIIeFisk
Posted by Stinger408scorp
Posted by MIIeFisk
It was nice to be treated like a lady. But at the same time I can kinda see how it can also feel like you're being handled like a delicate porcelain doll.
I love being handled like a doll ? lol I only do it when she least expect it and it won't be every single time.
Everyone knows that in every Scorpio male is a delicate woman.

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LOL
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Superman
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Stinger408scorp
Posted by tiziani
Opening car doors always seemed awkward to me. No problem in terms of doing it, but actually telling her "don't move" and making her wait an extra 20 seconds to get out the car is awkward. Most of the time it's a pointless custom, depending on dress.
The cap I was seeing did open the door for me I thought that was shweet ? Lol
Well there you have it. Chivalry: Pointless but sweet.
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It's far from pointless. That mindset is exactly why chivalry is dying.

Most men only do what they think is necessary. Men rarely go above and beyond for their lady.

I've learned that it's the little things that sets us apart.
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FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
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Posted by DeeLovesRed
Some say it is, some say it isn't... what's your take on it?
So in my childhood I don't ever remember my parents doing all that. It was who ever reached the door opened for the whole family. However manners was a huge thing for our family.

Never seen being sat was mandatory at all even now. Even dates nope I remember one guy opening the door for me or I did too. Lol. Have some one pull my chair at in front of folks nah. What if my clumsy ass falls as I am going to sit down and miss. I'll do it myself if I have to.
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Skitty
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I think it depends on what you consider to be chivalrous OP?

As @tiziani mentioned it's different depending on the generation in which you are dating.

Just only a few decades ago it was common- just if you were to date someone- like first date- that you met the chicks father.Right from the start.

Standards change.

We now how a trillion prounouns, micro-aggression's, sexuality is more fluid than a river.

So- who the hell knows what the definition of chivalrous is now. I think it's dictated by personal bias.

But If i'm going give you just the tip- ha

I'd recommend if you want some dude to pay for your food, and open doors and shit- date a dude over 30.

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Superman
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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
Posted by DeeLovesRed
Some say it is, some say it isn't... what's your take on it?
So in my childhood I don't ever remember my parents doing all that. It was who ever reached the door opened for the whole family. However manners was a huge thing for our family.

Never seen being sat was mandatory at all even now. Even dates nope I remember one guy opening the door for me or I did too. Lol. Have some one pull my chair at in front of folks nah. What if my clumsy ass falls as I am going to sit down and miss. I'll do it myself if I have to.
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It's different when you're toting around kids.

I learned manners from my mother. I didn't dare let her hear me not say "ma'am" when addressing a female (any age). Elbows off the table and always please or thank you.

Chivalry I learned from my sisters dad. He would always load is in the car on my mothers side. When she got in, he closed the door (car was already running and A/C was already going. I would see him do more than that when one of us kids wasn't pestering them.

He was a good man. Just had zero spine
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Superman
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Ssuperman
Posted by tiziani
Opening car doors always seemed awkward to me. No problem in terms of doing it, but actually telling her "don't move" and making her wait an extra 20 seconds to get out the car is awkward. Most of the time it's a pointless custom, depending on dress.
This quote better for you? You know, just jk
You shouldn't joke about something like that, Supes.
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You made 2 "jokes" about it being pointless.

Figured I'd joke with you twice about it.

I've had a looooong night at work. Goodnight Tiz
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Fragrance
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Courtesy and good manners are timeless

It's just that the place/role of a man and a woman in society have changed and the etiquette from the past is unnecessary. At present the interpretation of opening car doors and stuff by feminists is something of the sort: "These terrible men were patronizing women and implying they're incapacitated". Imo, that's exaggerated. I believe there were men who highly respected women and did these things because, in fact, they wanted to serve them in a way... if a man doesn't respect a woman, he wouldn't want to go out with her in the first place.
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Posted by Libramiss
Posted by RumiL
Maybe it isn't.. But yeah, some of it is awkward, like Tiziani said ..esp opening doors/car doors, pulling our chairs..look too much to me :p it will be embarrassing to just sit in car and wait...or him opening it for me and closing it after me. It's sweet when it suits the situation, like when hands are full, not empty, or some other times.
I agree. It's different when he is being considerate when your hands are full or something but I would feel awkward if he made me sit and wait for him to open the car door. I have two hands I can open it myself. 😛

Chivalry hmm right now I'm so thankful for my man cleaning the whole house, taking care of dishes, grocery shopping, cooking, doing laundry and taking care of me while I'm sick. 🙂
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----

Your man cleaning the house and taking care of you is not chivalry, is just that he cares about your well being. If he was sick, you would make him clean, cook and everything? Is just loving someone I think
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Seeing all the responses soem of you are probably going to hit me hard 😛 yay

Chivalry referring to men "helping" women in pointless things as opening a door she can open, I think is outdated; it is just because the reason this was happening was the thought of women as dolls, as vulnerable beings. If she (or he) can't open a door or a can, is obvious that if you help her is not because she is a woman, but because she can't do it in that moment.

If it's referred to PEOPLE being kind and educated, then is a positive thing everyone should be.
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Fragrance
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by Fragrance
Courtesy and good manners are timeless

It's just that the place/role of a man and a woman in society have changed and the etiquette from the past is unnecessary. At present the interpretation of opening car doors and stuff by feminists is something of the sort: "These terrible men were patronizing women and implying they're incapacitated". Imo, that's exaggerated. I believe there were men who highly respected women and did these things because, in fact, they wanted to serve them in a way... if a man doesn't respect a woman, he wouldn't want to go out with her in the first place.


I honestly suspect it's more to do with women not wearing long hand-woven gowns on the daily, anymore. Some cultural norms are defined by dress code over everything else, and I suspect this is one of them.

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Agreed, I see it as part of the whole process as well ?
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Damnata
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To me it's the normal state of affairs. It's a sad world where people get brownie points for holding doors just because it isn't displayed anymore...aka outdated. Doesn't hurt any of us to just go the extra step with our fellow humans.

It's thriving in my life and it has for as long as I've been alive. It's hard to even visualize it as non existant. I'm lucky/blessed.
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Sexyttarius
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Posted by MIIeFisk
But to answer your question, apparently it isnt. Last time I was out with a guy, he was pulling moves outta the book. Opened doors for me (car and building), walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk, pulled out chairs, helped me put on my coat. He was a Libra.
So how did you reject him later? ^^



I am not sure if chivalry ever existed at all like many oldschool men and women want us to believe. Opening doors or offer an older man/woman your place in a bus was something they told us to do when I went to school.

A couple of years ago I was walking with a friend of mine and a woman down the streets. The woman walked on my left while I was walking in the middle. So I softly grabbed her and put her in the middle, I told her nonchalantly that a woman should walk in the middle when she is walking with two men. I guess she was shocked. lol

I also guess back in the 50s a man also didn't have to invest too much in a woman at all, as long as he had a good job. How long did a couple date before they got married? I don't think it was a common thing to date a woman for like 3-5 years before proposing to her.The families handled a couple's commitment almost as a business deal. A man needed a woman to build a family with and a woman needed a man to provide for her. So I am not sure about this whole chivalry died thing. And maybe chivalry is not as much appreciated by women as they want us to believe. 😉
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neves
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Posted by Fragrance
Courtesy and good manners are timeless

It's just that the place/role of a man and a woman in society have changed and the etiquette from the past is unnecessary. At present the interpretation of opening car doors and stuff by feminists is something of the sort: "These terrible men were patronizing women and implying they're incapacitated". Imo, that's exaggerated. I believe there were men who highly respected women and did these things because, in fact, they wanted to serve them in a way... if a man doesn't respect a woman, he wouldn't want to go out with her in the first place.


Exatamente! 🙂



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SelenaKyle
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Posted by tiziani
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by tiziani
Opening car doors always seemed awkward to me. No problem in terms of doing it, but actually telling her "don't move" and making her wait an extra 20 seconds to get out the car is awkward. Most of the time it's a pointless custom, depending on dress.
Never thought about the getting out part. I woulda found that weird. Still woulda said thank you and went along with it!, but I'd have probably looked through his medicine cabinet or under the mattress later.
It is weird and it smacks of trying too hard for appearances.

Opening doors or opening car doors to get in, no problem. That happens seamlessly. But there's no part of chivalry that suggests you go out of your way to weird her out or make her feel uncomfortable in your company. That's where it gets counter-productive to the original spirit of it.
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Not always, depends on the people involved. I have not experienced much of this, so I crave it and hope to see it continue or even increase. I would not find it odd or awkward...okay maybe a little bit at first but it would make my heart pitter patter.

I was born in the wrong era me thinks.
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The Lady Scorpio
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Chivalry requires two willing parties.

Therefore, to ask if it is dead? I would not say so, more so of the fact that there is a constant glitch between the two parties.

The men are either not taught such manners or the women are not willing to accept such niceties as it were, because it makes them seem 'weak and incapable'. When frankly, being well mannered and polite to fellow human beings is merely just that.

People make it a point to place more meaning unto something that was very straight forward in the first place. That is what ruins the simplicity of chivalry, we ruin it for ourselves.