LibraSid
@LibraSid
15 Years1,000+ PostsLibra
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4581 · Topics: 75
How much weight gain before you leave?
Posted by ImperfectStorm
I guess I shouldn’t make assumptions so my apologies…
If the weight was that much of a problem I would try to team up and eat healthier and exercise along with the person and provide support etc. but I don’t think I would leave someone over weight gain.
^^^ This
That being said, the real question here is what’s the main cause behind the weight gain!? Are there health issues involved or has the person just simply become complacent with life & don’t give a rats ass!? Even with latter there tend to be psychological/emotional handicaps present. Either which way, if I cared for the person, I’d offer my assistance should they want it.
You don’t wanna be THAT PERSON especially if it’s health related. But at the same time attraction is important. It’s the whole reason we are here.
Fat floats so we can still swim together 😄
Fat floats so we can still swim together 😄
I mean, I like a thick woman, so go ahead, get built like one of those paleolithic fertility statues. I'm all about it, within reason obviously.
Yeah, probably a little crude, but hey 🙂
Posted by Seajatt
Yeah, probably a little crude, but hey 🙂
I found it creative and positively entertaining 😂
I’m uber visual who try not to be to demanding at first but my peers is a different story in my line of work. I can’t stand for a person getting to comfortable about my loyalty to them and go against what attracted me to begin with. Visual, visual visual. Like I always say my life is warped.
Posted by ArgusPosted by Seajatt
Yeah, probably a little crude, but hey 🙂
I found it creative and positively entertaining 😂click to expand
😄 Glad to entertain
Posted by cake
I gained 30 lbs
Hopefully in the right places. 👌
Is communicating that to your partner so hard for you? Clear communication solves half the problem.
I'd probably just let them gain weight and be with them till they die. If they were truly happy who cares?
I can’t find the words to really express myself rn, but this should be one of those things you can talk to your loved one about without feelings getting involved, or rather self defensive—because it’s all out of love and wanting your loved one to be healthy. And not only that, happy! They may be in a hard place emotionally and the extra weight doesn’t help depression. Its a serious concern so no shying away, kind of like finances.
Posted by ArgusPosted by Seajatt
Yeah, probably a little crude, but hey 🙂
I found it creative and positively entertaining 😂click to expand
Agreed 😂. Excellent imagery, fishy haha
I appreciate all the feedback so far. Just for clarity, I am not dumping someone because they gained weight. I have no problems with communication and preach its value myself. My last girlfriend however...
I put on a lot of weight. 10 years ago, I lost 100+ lbs, I kept it all off for 7 or so years but the last couple years several changes have occurred, and I found it all again, this last year I ballooned quite quickly. While I've had a desk job for 15 years, about 4 years ago I began working from home. At the office I'd park at the top of the garage and use the stairs up and down every day. Working from home, it quickly became that a trip to the grocery store was the most walking I did in a week. I also stopped cooking dinner every night. At first, she was going to take over cooking. It slowly transformed into us going out a LOT. Those combined to help me start putting weight back on, but about a year ago I was having some medical issues with abnormal pain and tightness throughout my torso. I kind of pulled inwards and stopped doing much of anything but work. And over the last year I found the rest of the weight I had lost.
But yeah... so I was just wondering how people react when their SO goes through changes like this.
I put on a lot of weight. 10 years ago, I lost 100+ lbs, I kept it all off for 7 or so years but the last couple years several changes have occurred, and I found it all again, this last year I ballooned quite quickly. While I've had a desk job for 15 years, about 4 years ago I began working from home. At the office I'd park at the top of the garage and use the stairs up and down every day. Working from home, it quickly became that a trip to the grocery store was the most walking I did in a week. I also stopped cooking dinner every night. At first, she was going to take over cooking. It slowly transformed into us going out a LOT. Those combined to help me start putting weight back on, but about a year ago I was having some medical issues with abnormal pain and tightness throughout my torso. I kind of pulled inwards and stopped doing much of anything but work. And over the last year I found the rest of the weight I had lost.
But yeah... so I was just wondering how people react when their SO goes through changes like this.
Posted by FadedAriPosted by AbbyNormal
I can’t find the words to really express myself rn, but this should be one of those things you can talk to your loved one about without feelings getting involved, or rather self defensive—because it’s all out of love and wanting your loved one to be healthy. And not only that, happy! They may be in a hard place emotionally and the extra weight doesn’t help depression. Its a serious concern so no shying away, kind of like finances.
I like you Abby because you seem real as a mf and have valid points especially with depression and hormones with some BC. But this is just a shit thread. Show the goods so we can judge you my ♉️click to expand
Judge away lol. No skin off my nose. I posted recently full body pic from last month—I may not be at my goal yet, but I’m well on my way. If I didn’t have my physical health rn, idk where I’d be…. It’s important to my depression that I constantly work on improving on myself—for me.
Posted by LibraSid
I appreciate all the feedback so far. Just for clarity, I am not dumping someone because they gained weight. I have no problems with communication and preach its value myself. My last girlfriend however...
I put on a lot of weight. 10 years ago, I lost 100+ lbs, I kept it all off for 7 or so years but the last couple years several changes have occurred, and I found it all again, this last year I ballooned quite quickly. While I've had a desk job for 15 years, about 4 years ago I began working from home. At the office I'd park at the top of the garage and use the stairs up and down every day. Working from home, it quickly became that a trip to the grocery store was the most walking I did in a week. I also stopped cooking dinner every night. At first, she was going to take over cooking. It slowly transformed into us going out a LOT. Those combined to help me start putting weight back on, but about a year ago I was having some medical issues with abnormal pain and tightness throughout my torso. I kind of pulled inwards and stopped doing much of anything but work. And over the last year I found the rest of the weight I had lost.
But yeah... so I was just wondering how people react when their SO goes through changes like this.
Doesn’t sound like your SO was supporting your goals if you were eating out often. Js. It’s hard when the other person doesn’t have a weight problem and don’t make strides to be sensitive to your own.
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by FadedAriPosted by AbbyNormal
I can’t find the words to really express myself rn, but this should be one of those things you can talk to your loved one about without feelings getting involved, or rather self defensive—because it’s all out of love and wanting your loved one to be healthy. And not only that, happy! They may be in a hard place emotionally and the extra weight doesn’t help depression. Its a serious concern so no shying away, kind of like finances.
I like you Abby because you seem real as a mf and have valid points especially with depression and hormones with some BC. But this is just a shit thread. Show the goods so we can judge you my ♉️
Judge away lol. No skin off my nose. I posted recently full body pic from last month—I may not be at my goal yet, but I’m well on my way. If I didn’t have my physical health rn, idk where I’d be…. It’s important to my depression that I constantly work on improving on myself—for me.click to expand
Your awesome for setting goals and for improving your health, but I have no idea 🤷🏾 how you look. Full body meaning whaaaaat. 🍊
Posted by LibraSid
Pretty straightforward question... How much weight could your significant other gain before you'd consider leaving them? Would you be able to talk to them about their weight gain and it affecting your attraction?
The question was originally intended to ask a woman about her man, but I'm curious for any thoughts.
Hey 🙂 long time no hear. Hope you’re well, get back to the gym 😉
100 lbs and I'm OUT! 😝
30 pounds is one thing but 100+ is a lot. You start talking health problems with that sort of weight gain.
Desk jobs are tough so you have to make an effort to exercise or even walking helps. I’ve never had to make this sort of choice since I’ve only had to deal with a 30 pound weight with me and/or partner. And when we were we made an effort to lose weight, exercise etc. I’d be more concerned about why they weren’t taking care of themselves on that level. Encourage hiking, gym, walking etc ; Being supportive about cooking healthier, less meals out, exercise time etc. i think the big thing is it’s in the desire to make effort. Stopping the gaining at some point.. that’s more of the concern not really about the weight.
Desk jobs are tough so you have to make an effort to exercise or even walking helps. I’ve never had to make this sort of choice since I’ve only had to deal with a 30 pound weight with me and/or partner. And when we were we made an effort to lose weight, exercise etc. I’d be more concerned about why they weren’t taking care of themselves on that level. Encourage hiking, gym, walking etc ; Being supportive about cooking healthier, less meals out, exercise time etc. i think the big thing is it’s in the desire to make effort. Stopping the gaining at some point.. that’s more of the concern not really about the weight.
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by LibraSid
Pretty straightforward question... How much weight could your significant other gain before you'd consider leaving them? Would you be able to talk to them about their weight gain and it affecting your attraction?
The question was originally intended to ask a woman about her man, but I'm curious for any thoughts.
Hey 🙂 long time no hear. Hope you’re well, get back to the gym 😉click to expand
I have. I started back on the same routine I did before when I lost it all. I am about 3 weeks in and have lost 20 lbs already. The past week I have started seeing an inch here and there coming off. I figure I'll be back in form within 6 months. I know how much/little effort it took last time and am gonna do more and go harder this time.
Good to see you too. Overall, I am well, a month or so into a fresh break up but nothing new there. Big picture things are good and I'll get the rest sorted out again soon. Hope you're doing good too.
I would be conflicted. I've gained 15 lbs recently but that's on a small frame so its def not something to be considered lightly. It also depends on one carries the weight. Some people carry extra weight well, or so my Bf likes to say. He also discourages me from calling myself gross or fat.. hm. He is also 240 but like.. i guess he carries it well too and I dont mind. It's really complicated.
Posted by LibraSidPosted by sweetheartsPosted by LibraSid
Pretty straightforward question... How much weight could your significant other gain before you'd consider leaving them? Would you be able to talk to them about their weight gain and it affecting your attraction?
The question was originally intended to ask a woman about her man, but I'm curious for any thoughts.
Hey 🙂 long time no hear. Hope you’re well, get back to the gym 😉
I have. I started back on the same routine I did before when I lost it all. I am about 3 weeks in and have lost 20 lbs already. The past week I have started seeing an inch here and there coming off. I figure I'll be back in form within 6 months. I know how much/little effort it took last time and am gonna do more and go harder this time.
Good to see you too. Overall, I am well, a month or so into a fresh break up but nothing new there. Big picture things are good and I'll get the rest sorted out again soon. Hope you're doing good too.click to expand
Is that a cycle?? You get into a relationship get comfortable and put on weight then when it ends you get yourself hot again and start dating again? 🤔
What sign was your lady? Just out of curiosity..
Try and help put. Weight wouldnt make me fall out of love. Not everybody eyes will sparkle the same because they're smaller
I admit I'm shallow. No you better stay in shape or......, I work hard to eat healthy and stay in shape. I expect the same.
I'm actually a bit like @-Capriquarius - I don't mind a little chub to grab but if your dick is in a different zipcode than the rest of your body, that's a hell NO.
If someone leaves someone because of weight gain then they really didn't love the person to begin with imo. Weight fluxuates through the years so you or your partner is going to gain and lose over time especially as you get older.
Now, I understand there comes a point where someone gains so much weight that
Now, I understand there comes a point where someone gains so much weight that
If someone leaves someone because of weight gain then they really didn't love the person to begin with imo. Weight fluxuates through the years so you or your partner is going to gain and lose over time especially as you get older.
Now, I understand there comes a point where someone gains so much weight that
Now, I understand there comes a point where someone gains so much weight that
My ex gained almost 100 pounds while we were in my relationship. But he carried it well and his end weight was about 230 at his highest. It didn't phase me at all. Weight was the least of my worries.
But gaining weight in a quick amount of time could be an underlying condition of depression or stress related, at least that is my thinking on rapid weight gain.
Once you get a hold of that and become active like before, the weight will come off gradually.
You kept it off before, and you are aware of what it feels like in your body when you over eat, so you just have to be mindful of the food choices that you make. It's not easy, but it's still doable.
At a certain age, it actually takes work to stay in a healthy weight range. It's not as easy as it was in our 20's.
But gaining weight in a quick amount of time could be an underlying condition of depression or stress related, at least that is my thinking on rapid weight gain.
Once you get a hold of that and become active like before, the weight will come off gradually.
You kept it off before, and you are aware of what it feels like in your body when you over eat, so you just have to be mindful of the food choices that you make. It's not easy, but it's still doable.
At a certain age, it actually takes work to stay in a healthy weight range. It's not as easy as it was in our 20's.
Posted by ScorpioDreams
Thing is everyone has their preferences…..you’re always gonna be too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too white, too black etc. for someone. But none of that shit matters for the right person. They will love you regardless and if not, then they probably never loved you at all. I think as long as you’re healthy it shouldn’t matter. I prefer a little chub on my man too. Never did like the muscular look. The guy I’m dating now is 6’3” and almost 300 pounds according to him, but I don’t see it. If it’s true he carries it well. Of course he likes to say he’s gained 20 pounds since meeting me because all I do is feed him. Guess I gotta stop since he keeps telling me he wants to lose some weight. Told him we can diet together since I wanna lose a few myself.
Maybe you encourage him to shed some pounds? The recommended weight for his height is 176-216, so he is quite overweight. I'd worry about heart, diabetes etc? My ex has gained almost 4 stones since we met and I do worry about his health.
Posted by -Capriquarius
I will probably propably sound wierd but I prefer bit chubby than over muscled men. As long as he's healthy 👍
Not weird at all. I prefer a swimmer's body on men.
Posted by ScorpioDreamsPosted by MyStarsShinePosted by ScorpioDreams
Thing is everyone has their preferences…..you’re always gonna be too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too white, too black etc. for someone. But none of that shit matters for the right person. They will love you regardless and if not, then they probably never loved you at all. I think as long as you’re healthy it shouldn’t matter. I prefer a little chub on my man too. Never did like the muscular look. The guy I’m dating now is 6’3” and almost 300 pounds according to him, but I don’t see it. If it’s true he carries it well. Of course he likes to say he’s gained 20 pounds since meeting me because all I do is feed him. Guess I gotta stop since he keeps telling me he wants to lose some weight. Told him we can diet together since I wanna lose a few myself.
Maybe you encourage him to shed some pounds? The recommended weight for his height is 176-216, so he is quite over overweight. I'd worry about heart, diabetes etc? My ex has gained almost 4 stones since we met and I do worry about his health.
Well I think he must be exaggerating because he doesn’t even look close to 300 pounds in my opinion, but he says his joints and back hurt and wants to lose some so I support him completely as I do want him to be healthy. He told me he dropped quite a bit of weight awhile back due to depression as he just doesn’t eat when he’s depressed. I’m the opposite and tend to eat more when I’m depressed. I eat my feelings. 🤷♀️ Anyway, once he gets back home I’m gonna see about eating healthier meals together as I could stand to lose some weight myself. It’s a tough time right now though with the holidays. Right now moderation is key.click to expand
👍
It's not easy, but worth it
Good luck 💚
Boom! ☝
I wouldn't dump my bf over weight gain, it's normal. I myself gain weight when I'm in a relationship because for some reason all the dudes I date love bringing me food.
I would, however, sit with my SO and discuss this with him. I'm a fitness buff so I eat healthy and workout 5 days a week (even amidst the lockdown) and I'd encourage him to join me.
I would, however, sit with my SO and discuss this with him. I'm a fitness buff so I eat healthy and workout 5 days a week (even amidst the lockdown) and I'd encourage him to join me.
Posted by Gobbie
I chuckle at some of the dxpers who claim they would be supportive, when we all know that at least half of them would end up having an affair.
#publicimagematters
Would you stay or leave? You're in good shape, so I'm curious. 🧐
Lol someone should do this thread but "how much weight LOSS before you leave?'
If she looses those tatas and his bubble butt goes away are you really there for the long haul.
If she looses those tatas and his bubble butt goes away are you really there for the long haul.
Posted by GobbiePosted by saggurl88Posted by Gobbie
I chuckle at some of the dxpers who claim they would be supportive, when we all know that at least half of them would end up having an affair.
#publicimagematters
Would you stay or leave? You're in good shape, so I'm curious. 🧐
On the couple of occasions I experienced it, I stayed.
But that doesn't bother me as much as someone who pretends to be be slimmer than they usually are, but is unable to maintain it in the medium-term. It's more the deception that irks me.click to expand
lol I know what you're saying.
How much weight gain before I leave.....? Hopefully, a lot!
Posted by -Capriquarius
I will probably propably sound wierd but I prefer bit chubby than over muscled men. As long as he's healthy 👍
Same! I’ll take someone chubby, over someone extremely muscular too 😂
Guys that are big and muscular like body builders are a turn off for me, but thin and average build that’s a little muscular is cool
"How much weight gain before you leave?"
the weight gain would have to be in dimensions of my 600 PD life .....
edit: and there is a slim chance of that happening, as my world and that of the morbidly obese never collide.
the weight gain would have to be in dimensions of my 600 PD life .....
edit: and there is a slim chance of that happening, as my world and that of the morbidly obese never collide.
Posted by ImperfectStorm
You might as well leave now because it doesn’t sound like you love her to begin with.
One could argue that she doesn't love him for putting him in that position where he has to choose between love vs. attraction
Depends but I wouldn't tolerate too much weight gain. Like the saying goes, "we can walk it off or drag it off, the choice is up to you".
I always stayed with my exes if they gained weight but the weight gain itself wasn't the worst part.
Insecurity
Secretive eating, binging and purging
Shame
Repeating the same mistakes over and over again
Wishing and longing to be fit again instead of taking action
No cuddles
Fat-related depression
Insecurity
Secretive eating, binging and purging
Shame
Repeating the same mistakes over and over again
Wishing and longing to be fit again instead of taking action
No cuddles
Fat-related depression
This thread is a real eye-opener.
Weight gain is brutal. The stretch marks, mobility problems, patronizing comments from others and the fact that a majority of people that gain a bunch of weight in adulthood never get it together and lose it, they generally keep putting it on.
A sloppy, 50+ lb fat gain is a complete fall from grace, and no amount of coddling(or making excuses)will change that.
- Anna, dopefly's Aquarian head steer
Weight gain is brutal. The stretch marks, mobility problems, patronizing comments from others and the fact that a majority of people that gain a bunch of weight in adulthood never get it together and lose it, they generally keep putting it on.
A sloppy, 50+ lb fat gain is a complete fall from grace, and no amount of coddling(or making excuses)will change that.
- Anna, dopefly's Aquarian head steer
Posted by sweetheartsPosted by LibraSidPosted by sweetheartsPosted by LibraSid
Pretty straightforward question... How much weight could your significant other gain before you'd consider leaving them? Would you be able to talk to them about their weight gain and it affecting your attraction?
The question was originally intended to ask a woman about her man, but I'm curious for any thoughts.
Hey 🙂 long time no hear. Hope you’re well, get back to the gym 😉
I have. I started back on the same routine I did before when I lost it all. I am about 3 weeks in and have lost 20 lbs already. The past week I have started seeing an inch here and there coming off. I figure I'll be back in form within 6 months. I know how much/little effort it took last time and am gonna do more and go harder this time.
Good to see you too. Overall, I am well, a month or so into a fresh break up but nothing new there. Big picture things are good and I'll get the rest sorted out again soon. Hope you're doing good too.
Is that a cycle?? You get into a relationship get comfortable and put on weight then when it ends you get yourself hot again and start dating again? 🤔
What sign was your lady? Just out of curiosity..click to expand
Looking back at it, it does appear to be a pattern unfortunately. At least I can recognize the pattern, maybe now I break it.
She was a Cancer.
I really appreciate everyone's responses to this.
I have been keeping at it with eating healthier and exercising and am losing 3-5 lbs per week still. I've got a long journey ahead of me but have done it before and know I will get there again. Ultimately, I got too comfortable and stopped taking care of myself. I don't blame her for the loss of attraction after my weight gain, I'd have had an issue if she put on this much weight too lol. I wouldn't have shut down and left the way she did, but that's another story. A few people have mentioned that they'd question if the love was ever real, and I understand that. I am right there with you. All said and done, I try not to dwell on it too much. I am happy for the good times we had, and I will better myself coming out of this (mentally and physically). Like most people, I have been through nasty breakups before and know that time does heal all things.
I have been keeping at it with eating healthier and exercising and am losing 3-5 lbs per week still. I've got a long journey ahead of me but have done it before and know I will get there again. Ultimately, I got too comfortable and stopped taking care of myself. I don't blame her for the loss of attraction after my weight gain, I'd have had an issue if she put on this much weight too lol. I wouldn't have shut down and left the way she did, but that's another story. A few people have mentioned that they'd question if the love was ever real, and I understand that. I am right there with you. All said and done, I try not to dwell on it too much. I am happy for the good times we had, and I will better myself coming out of this (mentally and physically). Like most people, I have been through nasty breakups before and know that time does heal all things.
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