Real Relationships, in the age of social media

is it even possible anymore?

Most women nowadays (and more and more men), are spending more time and emotional investment on their fake lives than the real ones.

You can't go to a family or friend gathering nowadays without the girls constantly checking on their smartphone to see if they got a like or a virtual high-five.

For the modern young adult, real relationships are becoming quick, drunken night-out affairs and end up as notification material for their social accounts.

It seems that most of these people are getting more emotionally satisfied by the attention given to their alternate persona, and the fake frontpage romances they're develloping, than anything in real life. Just look at some of the fake shit that's going on in dxp every day.

Married women would rather divorce than leave their virtual circles.

This is a very recent devellopment (less than 10 years old) but makes me wonder if real relationships are even possible anymore.

Millenials are screwed, that's for sure.

Is it possible? Yes.

But it is slim. Many like the anonymity social media provides. They're not forced to be confrontational in an uncomfortable situation. The anonymity allows for development of another persona. One that cannot be developed in reality due to social anxiety. And through this persona they live vicariously because they feed off its reactions.

I look at social media as a gateway to forming real relationships.

Yes!

But you have to spend real quality time with each other. No phones.

People probably felt the same way about TV. Thinking it would be terrible, this n that.

Posted by hydorah
is it even possible anymore?

no

Posted by tiziani

Posted by littlenanobyte
They say that the happiest couples are the least present on social media. I think there's truth to this, at least down in the south. I see couples post happy photos literally several times a day, and then they are divorced a month later or he's in the news for domestic violence.

LOL

you make the South seem like an intriguing place

click to expand

it is quite intriguing down here - I grew up in the north but moved south and wow it sure is different - but I do enjoy the cultured country - that's where it's at - people who have the sense to unplug and can still keep their teeth

It's been the same way forever.

Did you just now discover people are very Me driven? But it is sociable acceptable to just glance at someone and nod while playing fantasies in your mind (heck men do it all the time with women "yes, dear, i was listening") and women do it all the time when men bore the hell out of us with long convos instead of pouncing.

^But at least they have the common sense to just stare at you albeit zoning you out.

Smartphones, media, whatever...is the same thing. But no, bring up the torches on that.

Posted by hydorah
Most women nowadays (and more and more men), are spending more time and emotional investment on their fake lives than the real ones.

You can't go to a family or friend gathering nowadays without the girls constantly checking on their smartphone to see if they got a like or a virtual high-five.

For the modern young adult, real relationships are becoming quick, drunken night-out affairs and end up as notification material for their social accounts.

It seems that most of these people are getting more emotionally satisfied by the attention ported to their alternate persona, and the fake frontpage romances they're develloping, than anything in real life. Just look at some of the fake shit that's going on in dxp every day.

Married women would rather divorce than leave their virtual circles.

This is a very recent devellopment (less than 10 years old) but makes me wonder if real relationships are even possible anymore.

----

says in an Internet forum.

I think it depends on the person. I'm a millenial and I know who my friends are, I don't expose myself too much, and idgaf about likes. Many acquaintances do what you say, but this ppl 200 years ago would have focused on fashion and going to balls, stupid ppl do stupid things

Posted by tcta

Posted by tiziani

Posted by littlenanobyte
They say that the happiest couples are the least present on social media. I think there's truth to this, at least down in the south. I see couples post happy photos literally several times a day, and then they are divorced a month later or he's in the news for domestic violence.

LOL

you make the South seem like an intriguing place

it is quite intriguing down here - I grew up in the north but moved south and wow it sure is different - but I do enjoy the cultured country - that's where it's at - people who have the sense to unplug and can still keep their teeth

click to expand

Yeah... not all of us grew up in the sticks.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by Damnata
It's been the same way forever.

Did you just now discover people are very Me driven? But it is sociable acceptable to just glance at someone and nod while playing fantasies in your mind (heck men do it all the time with women "yes, dear, i was listening") and women do it all the time when men bore the hell out of us with long convos instead of pouncing.

^But at least they have the common sense to just stare at you albeit zoning you out.

Smartphones, media, whatever...is the same thing. But no, bring up the torches on that.

it is the "me" generation of fast everything and it's sort of scary because where is it going ? I prefer to live in the mountains a half hour outside the city where I have to work but I get to come home and unplug and regroup and it is such a nice reprieve

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by tcta

Posted by tiziani

Posted by littlenanobyte
They say that the happiest couples are the least present on social media. I think there's truth to this, at least down in the south. I see couples post happy photos literally several times a day, and then they are divorced a month later or he's in the news for domestic violence.

LOL

you make the South seem like an intriguing place

it is quite intriguing down here - I grew up in the north but moved south and wow it sure is different - but I do enjoy the cultured country - that's where it's at - people who have the sense to unplug and can still keep their teeth

Yeah... not all of us grew up in the sticks.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

click to expand

- and you can now do whatever you want cause you are grown up - that's the beauty of it !

Posted by tcta

Posted by Damnata
It's been the same way forever.

Did you just now discover people are very Me driven? But it is sociable acceptable to just glance at someone and nod while playing fantasies in your mind (heck men do it all the time with women "yes, dear, i was listening") and women do it all the time when men bore the hell out of us with long convos instead of pouncing.

^But at least they have the common sense to just stare at you albeit zoning you out.

Smartphones, media, whatever...is the same thing. But no, bring up the torches on that.

it is the "me" generation of fast everything and it's sort of scary because where is it going ? I prefer to live in the mountains a half hour outside the city where I have to work but I get to come home and unplug and regroup and it is such a nice reprieve

click to expand

I disagree.

Human species is the "Me" species in entirety. Across all generations.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by tcta

Posted by Damnata
It's been the same way forever.

Did you just now discover people are very Me driven? But it is sociable acceptable to just glance at someone and nod while playing fantasies in your mind (heck men do it all the time with women "yes, dear, i was listening") and women do it all the time when men bore the hell out of us with long convos instead of pouncing.

^But at least they have the common sense to just stare at you albeit zoning you out.

Smartphones, media, whatever...is the same thing. But no, bring up the torches on that.

it is the "me" generation of fast everything and it's sort of scary because where is it going ? I prefer to live in the mountains a half hour outside the city where I have to work but I get to come home and unplug and regroup and it is such a nice reprieve

I disagree.

Human species is the "Me" species in entirety. Across all generations.

click to expand

well it's just been going that way more and more with each generations that I can look back too but you think it started out that way ? that is interesting ...

I don't think the problem is social media, although it is the first to be blamed. It is definitely a contributing factor to the reduced quality of romantic relationships.

I think the problem is lack of genuine people. The one reason why people flock to me despite the fact that I can be cold with my brutal honesty is that I'm genuine. The more people flock to me for this quality, the more I reach the conclusion that it is the rarity of this quality. When something is about to become extinct, people start to appreciate it. Transparency is quickly becoming a forgotten trait.

I also realized the reality of how rare this is when I noticed that most people (my friends included) are liars, deceptive and live a double life. Most people it seems live a double life.

Maybe it's just an age thing

People 35+ complain about.. generation gap.

I see the people that are couples walk apart from each other like they are happy but not.

Posted by Gem_from_Venus

Posted by TrueFantasy

Posted by Gem_from_Venus

Posted by hydorah
is it even possible anymore?

The kind of dating I did in my 20s is gone forever. We had to pay attention to people and make plans. Was it better? It was different. I worry about face to face communication dying, but surely the need for sex will get people's genitals together forever.

This reminded me of a film with Sandra Bullock where she would put on a helmet thingy and have 'virtual sex' with the other guy when he puts on the helmet thingy...let's hope that doesn't come true.

Lol was that Judge Dredd?

click to expand

demolition man



90s humour but sort of prophetic

There are some genuine people who keep their relationships private or not as public as the typical millennial these days. It is possible. As a millennial myself, I can confirm that I know a few people who actually invest in real life more than their social media.

Posted by EnochtheWise
Social media is just another way for people to connect. It only threatens offline relationships if its preferable to them in some ways, and if so, so be it....

I hear the line that it is "fake", but this is seldom explored.

Firstly, offline relationships can be as fake and shallow, if not more so in instances. People lie, conceal motives/intention, manipulate, etc., offline as well. They just use different methods and there are different categories of potential deception. Words from a mouth can deceive as much as, if not more so, than words on a screen. There's often just more at stake, which can serve as more of a motivation to deceive, and also make it more damaging.

The other aspect that is seldom mentioned is that, in some ways, online can be more "real" than relationships offline. I'm sure some people feel more safe to be open about certain aspects of their lives, are more bold to risk rejection, experimenting with different forms of extroversion they wouldn't normally attempt, venting about things they'd normally keep bottled up, even sharing creative aspects of themselves (even if its just writing ability) that is harder to express day to day.

I agree on both points. I don't think social media in and of it self is a problem. However, in terms of forming romantic relationships, I do think dating apps have the potential to hinder as much as they help. The quantity of options, and the ease of access to said options, can make these connections easily disposable. And why put any effort in to making your relationship work if you could potentially find the perfect person with your next "like" (your soul-mate is just one more swipe away!).

Posted by halalbabe

Posted by hydorah
Most women nowadays (and more and more men), are spending more time and emotional investment on their fake lives than the real ones.

You can't go to a family or friend gathering nowadays without the girls constantly checking on their smartphone to see if they got a like or a virtual high-five.

For the modern young adult, real relationships are becoming quick, drunken night-out affairs and end up as notification material for their social accounts.

It seems that most of these people are getting more emotionally satisfied by the attention given to their alternate persona, and the fake frontpage romances they're develloping, than anything in real life. Just look at some of the fake shit that's going on in dxp every day.

Married women would rather divorce than leave their virtual circles.

This is a very recent devellopment (less than 10 years old) but makes me wonder if real relationships are even possible anymore.

Before the inception of social media people's bullshit was held in their circles and the audience was too small to put much effort into impressing them. Now we broadcast all that bs globally. There's people with whom social media creates jealous behavior over illusions. Being envious of things, relationships and life style s that don't exist. Everything's ''goals''. But I don't believe social media ruins relationships. It's the idiots who don't know how to benefit from it or use it properly

click to expand

I'm not saying it ruins relationships, it just replaces it

Ladies, get you a man with a flip phone. 😄

I don't have a Facebook. My Capricorn does but rarely posts other than in his art communities. He never posted a picture of me and I never post about him on my Instagram.

I figure that the people I care to know about him have met him already. I'm not sure if things would be different between us if he posted on FB.

My answer is: Yes, of course it's possible because not all millennials are caught up in social media.

Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428

Posted by aquarius09
I don't think the problem is social media, although it is the first to be blamed. It is definitely a contributing factor to the reduced quality of romantic relationships.

I think the problem is lack of genuine people. The one reason why people flock to me despite the fact that I can be cold with my brutal honesty is that I'm genuine. The more people flock to me for this quality, the more I reach the conclusion that it is the rarity of this quality. When something is about to become extinct, people start to appreciate it. Transparency is quickly becoming a forgotten trait.

I also realized the reality of how rare this is when I noticed that most people (my friends included) are liars, deceptive and live a double life. Most people it seems live a double life.

This is one way to find out if your getting cheated on for sure.

click to expand

Elaborate, please.

Social media is only a part of the reason that young adults aren't settling down as fast as their parents and grandparents did.

You also need to take into account how expensive the cost of living is. I read an article (I'll try to find it and link it) where the young men and women interviewed said they wanted marriage and children but not until they were financially stable. Many were in crippling student debt or still in school collecting secondary degrees. So many, the majority, are less focused on relationship and more focused on themselves. The mentality of taking care of ones self first, focusing on career and worry about love later.

Priorities have shifted.

Posted by Skye

Posted by TrueFantasy
I remember one time I was in Starbucks and observed a couple with their phones out. For the whole time they didn't speak a word because they were on their phones. The girl looked super pissed off at him and gave him dirty looks...but he never noticed because his eyes were glued to his phone.

And yes, I like to observe humans.

I once was at this restaurant with some friends and observed a couple nearby. The man already had an iPad propped up on the table and was scrolling and reading. The lady, who did not look visibly upset, just sat there patiently doing nothing. I kid you not, they never spoke. When their food arrived, the guy fixed a few items on his plate, took out his phone and snapped a picture and proceeded to post on social media. They both started eating and the guy continued to scroll and read. o______O

click to expand

this is becoming the new norm

well.. I agree, it's so annoying when I see people, especially when meeting friends in public have their noses in their cellphones rather than talking to each other..

...but, I also think that social media has now just become a platform.. It doesn't make one shallow, but if you are shallow, it's another avenue where you reveal that which is in you.. whether it's alternate persona or sharing or way of connecting to others or expression of self - the ego boost, narcissism, etc are dependent on the person in question, hard to generalize..

But then, like i said, people who rely only on social media and are clammed up IRL - they should also never get blinded by selfies, likes, shares, witty talk, online chatting etc.. Online is, afterall, online - just a screen full of typed words, after moments and moments of thinking, it's not spontaneous like real life interaction.. although there may be a level of spontaneity, but not as much as real life - so one should remember that, relying heavily on your cellphone is... it lacks the ...IDK how to say, originality or naturalness upto an extent.. I feel.



Social media should just be a media where you stay in touch or share at max. But, most people have taken it to an extreme.

Once again ahead of my time, things proved even worse than we feared

It's possible.

It’s kind of a positive thing.

It makes dating much easier.